madotara69

madotara69

M56 F56

The truth, why is it so important?

August 05 2013

If you are unfamiliar to these forums, I am Mado, just someone much like yourself. Hello.In a recent topic, I shared a story as a victim of sexual assault. Things happen in our lives and some hurt peoples emotional way of mind, much worse than a punch in the nose. Victims often find themselves, once they express themselves, being questioned as being untruthful. It is the first defense for a predator, and it will be the only defense so it is going to come in fill force.A truthful person will agree, if they have effected someone when it has been expressed. That person will seek the answers to find the reasons, then make a decision for how to answer the person effected.If you knock over someones cup of tea, that's one thing, if you run over someones child, that is another. So being faced at the moment of truth is very important. You may effect another persons life, maybe the whole of it.As a victim with a serious and mentally painful experience. It was the truth that when being spoken was answered with the first defense, a lie, took a very long time to argue. The victim is not looking for the argument, just the truth.If you don't feel this is truth, please say so.A victim wants people to be themselves, and wants to be themselves with people. If a topic comes up and relates to a victims experience, it is not the stories and jokes or the subject, that is painful. It is what they have been through for the truth they suffered from another, and sometimes they have suffered with it for time, longer the worse.Be yourselves, call me a liar and it will hurt. Say to me anything else it won't, you are not the predator, you are just being a part with things, concerned, mothers intuition, proud father, in love (that is my favorite), caring, lifting spirits, in jest,mad, a victim, tell a joke if you want or even argue.Why does the truth matter to you?Mado

Comments

  • Cheekyarses

    Cheekyarses

    12 years ago

    Tell me the truth, the whole truth ..... Please spare me the little stories which may sound better then the truth... The truth is important to both of us as very simply it has to be! Why tell someone something, try to remember what you said n then finding out it was all a lie! Does the truth hurt - absolutely at times, but I would prefer to be told the truth then be comforted with a lie! Mrs C Great topic Mado xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    may not be the same as your truth,it is all about perspective. Do I always tell the truth,honestly no....and I don't really trust anyone who says they are honest. There are lies that we tell by saying nothing and there are lies that we tell, because the truth would be too painfull. There is no such thing as the simple truth.

  • Cheekyarses

    Cheekyarses

    12 years ago

    Trusting anyone who says 'I always tell the truth' is abit of a worry really lol... But I do agree freya - what my truth is will not be the same as your truth nor anyone else's truth. I just personally like ppl to be truthful with me! Although can someone tell me why you would let a friend, child, relative etc humiliate themselves going on national television to audition for a singing show when they cannot sing? That to me is just cruel

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I needed the truth to be told for my life to blossom. As a survivor (much like yourself) I needed the truth to be told to the police to put my sadness behind me. Sometimes it was easier to keep the truth to yourself for fear of being called a liar. That happened to me and it did so much damage. Having the truth recorded in a wire tap was a resolution for me. And in his own words, not mine. He died a week later. Without that confession of the truth it would have taken much longer to recover than it has. Endless love and strength to you Mado.

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    12 years ago

    And when I do lie I feel like a huge neon light flashing "Liar liar" is going off on my forehead!!! Besides tell one lie gotta cover it up with another and so on and so forth.....the tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive...give me truth over a politically correct, intricately worded load of bullshit anyday. I probably get into more trouble by being honest but atleast I'm prepared to suffer the consequences of my actions, no I don't like it; but do the crime do the time and it's true....sometimes honesty DOESN'T pay :(. I like honest forthright people and well..... at the end of the day a liar is always going to get caught out. Karma's a bitch like that. Atleast you can choose what you want to do with the truth even if it's unpalatable..... KNOWING what your choices/options really are is better than guessing. People who lie tend to lie to themselves most of all.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Mado ' I feel your pain. No one writes such a disturbing story if it didn't have substance. I hope by posting on here helps your cause. I also hope you find solace in your knowledge of the truth. Cheers Jay...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    But never comfort me with a lie.... A motto that I believe I live by. My story remains unresolved, but continues, and also something that I personally need to "man the fuck up" about. But Rome wasn't built in a day, so success can't be expected in one. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Jay_Me' Mado ' I feel your pain. No one writes such a disturbing story if it didn't have substance. I hope by posting on here helps your cause. I also hope you find solace in your knowledge of the truth. Cheers Jay... I have found it Jay, I find it in everyone I am fortunate to spend a little time with. It is the best in them.Thanks mate.

  • Beachlover1999

    Beachlover1999

    12 years ago

    Indy couldn't have said it more perfectly myself!!! I am a very honest no BS type of person, straight talker, and gets me in heaps of trouble!!! It is not just the bad stuff but if I love you will also say....before time when someone with the rule book forgot to give me a copy!!!! I guess this honesty comes from years of psychological horror from my Dad. Because I had no bruises or other physical signs, how could I tell anyone to make them believe, I tried but being from a 'nice' family people said I was a dramatic teenager etc.... I survived, not unscarred, but I am a survivor and not a victim.....he would have won if I was the latter. I am a survivor it keeps me strong and errrr very honest!!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    People who generally tell the truth disconcert those who generally don't, or who expect a lie, because lies tend to be apparent and lead to an enjoyably cruel game. No one is universally honest; sometimes it is kind to lie about whether there is a santa claus, or perhaps whether there is a heaven for the dead puppy to live in.But most of the time, being untruthful makes life more difficult for all of us, because we have to be more tentative, more second-guessing, more pessimistic and uncertain. Which is why the law places such importance on truth in advertising and in representations made in trade and commerce.But most of all, truth is better because lying is so stupid. Stupid because no matter how good your memory you are going to get found out sooner or later.This is all a bit different to the OP's original point, which is that when someone complains of having been assaulted, mistreated, oppressed, it is more comfortable to call them a liar than to have to share the pain.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I follow the paradigm that 'Honesty is the best policy!'. Not because I am a good person, but because I am a terrible liar, never could remember the stories properly so I gave up trying. Telling the truth is far easier, trust me on that.   But be careful demanding honesty. I was chatting to a woman a few months ago who decided to start asking me pointed and somewhat personal questions. That didn't really worry me as if she asked something too personal I wouldn't answer! But she asked me about a particular incident that happened back when I was still in the military. Lets just say she didn't like my reply, took affront actually and wanted to know what I told her that. I replied "well if you didn't want to hear the answer, don't ask the bloody question in the first place".   Funny, I blocked her just after that ... lol   Mooka

  • Lifes_great

    Lifes_great

    12 years ago

    I can only imagine what you have endured and take my hat off to you for becoming the great person you are today.   I personally think that the truth allows people to make their own decisions and way forward. The truth allows you to analyse situations and put things in perspective. It allows us to turn the page and move forward.   And to all who have posted above me.....nicely said

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'm a Sagittarian, we are unable to lie...honestly....don't ask me a question if you don't want my answer and opinion. my friends have learnt the hard way-as have I. But we are who we are...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I would lie to save someone hurt or embarrassment if its not a major thing. I don't particularly like it because I find you end up digging a hole for yourself which can get deeper and deeper. So passing off a untruth for the sake of good ' dont always work.On the other hand, being brutally honest without some sort of decorum can be just as bad. Being totally honest without first putting your brain into gear 'can have a devastating effect.Im not real good at telling porkies, Im sure a big neon sign pops up on my forehead warning.. liar liar...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The only truth that counts is the truth you express to yourself. Then you live with that truth. Everything that happens to you can be put in its right place because the truth will ultimately justify how it affects you. And good or bad, we can all learn something by looking at ourselves and being honest, and that's the only way to deal with anything.

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    12 years ago

    With truth the only key. :) I have a relatively clear conscience....thanks Beachlover and "brave" is a word that pops into mind. (Sigh)

  • Beachlover1999

    Beachlover1999

    12 years ago

    Yessss ding!!!!! Never mind my previous rant, as a fellow sag girl it is just what it is.......The Truth just has to be said, a bit like keeping a sag contained we will get it out one way or another being the wild free spirits that we are!!!! :)))

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    Third time lucky.What you all say does not hurt my feelings, you are all just being yourselves, it is important.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    You asked Mado, Why does the truth matter to you?It matters to me, because it brings out the best in me.I want healthy relationships with people, not unhealthy.I don't want to be around those who Future fake me or be in B/S relationships.When people lie and cheat to me, they remove my rights to the truth.To me there’s no such thing as a honest cheat, That’s an oxymoron in my books. Thanks to my mum, she's taught me that that lying and deceiving is a form of control and abusive behavior.I get sickly nervous when I have to ring my daughters school, to inform them that my daughter is sick, when she is not, cause I think I am abusing the situation and breaking the law.FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    When I have told a pokie, I feel bad and I don't like those feelings I get, and not only that, I feel like I am not being honest to myself or to whomever told porkie to.It's a horrible feeling..Foxy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ...and not always factual. A person's truth will vary depending on who, when and where they are. Facts do not change but you will always find those who will dispute facts that don't suit their own truths. This doesn't necessarily make these people dishonest as they believe the things they are asserting. People feel very threatened when their truths are called into question because we all hold our own truths dear. So let's look at facts. A fact is something that has really occurred or is actually the case. If it happened to you then it's a fact. Ignore those who will question this as they will be doing so with their own selfish needs as motivation. The fact is, Mado, you're a good man. You don't need another person's validation to make this true.

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    I have believed in being a good man since becoming one, made efforts to ensure that and try to better it. Though Here, I am validating all the people sharing thoughts within these posts, that serious or in jest speaking their mind is needed. It is the reason why I talked as a victim in the post, and why I have posted this topic.I am lucky to have closure and a long time ago as a victim, and learned about the truth in people, it is a lot more than just telling stories or a lie now and then, we all can and do. People being them true selves is what the truth means to me.I could not have said this without your true thoughts, so thanks and hope we are all better off for it.

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    When they were told that the truth could not be counted (from a minor), The people decided that it could. That is great. Not so great for some.If I wanted you all to think I am great, I would have chosen to tell my best joke. Then nervously await to see how great you all thought I was, though I am not sure if my best joke will make for the greatest, so I am not going to tell it, I am too shy.

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'sirlurkalot' But never comfort me with a lie.... A motto that I believe I live by. My story remains unresolved, but continues, and also something that I personally need to "man the fuck up" about. But Rome wasn't built in a day, so success can't be expected in one. - Posted from rhpmobile You just did.

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    9 years ago

    'Something lost, something found' Wisdom Mr. urn. . Thank you.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Henry Rollins offers some insight as to how people fall prey in a song titled "Liar" on the Rollins Band album titled "Weight".

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'ontology' Henry Rollins offers some insight as to how people fall prey in a song titled "Liar" on the Rollins Band album titled "Weight". Plato;No one is more hated than he who speaks the truth.

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    9 years ago

    The Mirror'When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf, And the world makes you king for a day Then go to the mirror, See what the man has to say For it isn't your Father, Mother or Wife, Who's judgement upon you must pass The fellows verdict counts most in your life, Is the one staring back from the glass Some people may think your a straight shooting chum, And call you a wonderful guy But the man in the mirror says your a bum, If you can't look him straight in the eyes He's the fellow to please, Never mind all the rest, For he's clear with you to the end And you have passed your most difficult and dangerous test, If the man in the glass is your friend You may fool the whole world, Down the pathways of years, And pats on the back as you pass Your final reward will be heartache and tears, If you have cheated the man in the glass'