M61
The relationship gap
October 02 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
The Industrial Revolution :-) xxQluddite
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Technology.....Swipe to the left or right, emailing back and forth...too bloody hard work if you ask me. Get in the real world Chev....meet people organically, that way you will not see those profiles again..in another 5 yrs. Oh, and good to see you posting :) Foxy
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madotara69
11 years ago
We got married before vibrators became the in thing. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Technology is ruining our relationships with other people not enhancing it. Sad when you watch even your kids have friends over and they sit there on facebook instead of talking to each other. I have also heard of a few relationships where one partner sits on the computer, again usually facebook instead of sharing their quality time together. I asked a married guy who contacted me where his wife was as he was chatting to me, she was in another room on facebook, this was middle of the week around 9pm. Do people not speak up about this type of behaviour? I yell at my kids for having their phones at the dinner table.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The internet,television was blamed for people not talking to each other...the breakdown of family life...ysdda yafdda..in the 1800s chev,people lived in villages or on farms,had only a few hours off each week...went to bed early,worked late....and they were the lucky ones... After the Industrial Revolution when people moved to towns and cities to work in the hell holes called factories ,the quality of life decrased even more..Men and children died working in mines... So chev,do not romanticise the past, we live in fortunate times even though er may think the opposite is true xxQ
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RHP User
11 years ago
unless you die in a plane crash or a suicide pact... 😝 I also happen to think having another human being around when I die is a crappy reason to have a relationship. I think the sexual revolution rather than the industrial one is responsible for the change. Women in the western world no longer have to rely on men for financial and physical security and consequently the happily-ever-after, 4 x 2 in the suburbs, marriage and kids option is not the only one available and, depending on the woman, not always the most attractive one either. The nuclear family is not a natural state of being for humans in my opinion, it's a construct that was adopted because it suited society when we stopped being nomadic and started settling in one spot. Religion got it's teeth into it and what was a practical arrangement started to become a moral one. Society is still changing and what worked before may not work now. I for one welcome the changes and wish I could be around over the next 100 years or so to see what new constructs get created. 😊
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RHP User
11 years ago
Relationships and connection need tending - whether it's a lover, a family member or a friend. There has be a personal willingness to slow down, make time, relate, create moments and memories. Picking up a phone or turning on a computer (or tv, or whatever) instead of connecting with a loved one, or even connecting with one you hope to love, is a choice and something the individual must take responsibility for. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
That said... Phones are banned from my dinner table. Op, you're not happy about women's high expectations? Meh, women over 40 have usually had a long term relationship, had their children, earn a decent income and are not willing to settle for mediocrity in their men. Seriously, the amount of time and energy required for a ridgey didge relationship means that most of us won't go there unless he is pretty special. Truly, I'd rather read a book at home than go on a date with someone who bores me. I note that you are also still on these dating sites after 5yrs? What does that say about your expectations?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I quite enjoy talking to people on here. Sometimes it get a bit harder because you would like to sit down and chat, which would make it more interesting. I believe also through the net some people are not as lonely because they can connect with other like minded creatures. Some play games together and that's a big challenge for them. Without skype I wouldn't talk so much with one of my nephew from Germany who is really a sweet young man and I am very fond of him...... my relationship to him would be much harder to sustain. Through the computer I can see what he is doing and I can share a bit more his life. We are closer then without the net. Yes we are more single, I believe because women become more free, the pill changed this and the change in the work force, we are allowed to work even when we become mothers,we are not anymore only dependent on the male. This made women free to be single.....and that's change the dynamic in relationships quite a lot. Still men changed too, and they don't have to marry the woman anymore should she get pregnant, or stay with her even there are children around. Then the question reminds.....are we made for ever after together???? I like the modern world its a good place to be as a woman.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Technology is def dehumanizing people. Way too much time is wasted staring at a keyboard, rather than at each other. Add to that the huge media manipulation, scare mongering & propaganda, cyber safety threats & a lack of personal interactions. I'm sure our children are growing up in a world where empathy, compassion, face to face friendships & emotional intelligence is secondary to Facebook, twitter, Skype, texting, video games etc. Is humanity turning robotic? Have we forgotten how to start a conversation with a stranger whilst on the train? Do we look into people's eyes at the shopping mall & smile? Do we help the elderly crossing the street, or a struggling mother with young kids at the grocery store? Do we blindly walk the concrete jungles of life, secure in the knowledge that we don'tneed to reach out to oothers anymore? I miss the uncomplicated life of my youth... Home technology was nonexistent, but I knew & met up with all the local kids in my suburb. We would roam from house to house for snacks, mates, balls & bikes. School homework projects consisted of going to the library, interviewing local community people & bringing in nature or homemade craft projects. Our kids do none of this. Homework is a last minute Google cut & paste, whilst texting or watching TV. What to do? I have no answers, but I do worry a bit that our next generation will never have the freedom, safety ,personal interactions, emotional intelligence, empathy, compassion or desire to truly love other people. Over to you.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Advancements in society, technological or other wise often have a three steps forward - two steps back factor in them. This internet thing and rhp can make us more superficial and dismissive of people because we don't meet face to face but on the other hand it provides a forum for like minded people that is stimulating and comforting. Rhp brings together as a community people with slightly out the norm views on sexuality who other wise might feel abnormal and alone. On Burning Love point she is right that it is a personal choice however in our busy and connected life it is easy to get caught in the rush and not spend "quality time" with our immediate friends and family. It is interesting to note that in past times when we lived in small villages or tribal clans and didn't have the means of travel other than walking te may have only know and meet 200 to 300people in our entire life. And Q makes a good point. If we can take a step back and look at life today objectively in most respects we are so much better off and more fortunate than previeous generations
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RHP User
11 years ago
Things advance at a great rate of knots. Change is often forced on us, but once we get used to it we adjust but reluctantly as we can manage without technology. Modern ways of doing things are great, we just have to learn to balance life, use the technology to meet people then use your social skills to maintain those friendships. I find that I am very happy to meet women off here and made some great friends in the doing, I also network other women to meet each other and we have a great bunch of women in the West who have been to my house. One is moving in with me from this site. Yesterday a woman from a couple I photographed came over and those two get on like a house on fire as they are both mad gardeners. I think this is the key, to actual just make friends, find people you can be your true self with and then go from there. My plumber, my carpet cleaning guy, the guy that house sat for me and my specialist doctor are all off RHP. So I would not have met them if not for RHP but my motivation was not only to get sex or a boyfriend it was to meet interesting people. I have gone east to meet some great folk from here and maintain those friendships. We are actually in a village,its just a cyber village and if we talk to each other and try to make connections it works offline very well. As one person said its a personal choice on how we use technology. The smart people walk away from it now and again and take care of business offline first. I am also one no phones at the table, even if its a coffee meting have it in my bag not out at all. Most times I leave it up stairs and just check it now and again. I have been know horror of horror to leave home without it. But I love the world with live in, women like me would have been burned at the stake or stoned for what I do. Contraception, better education and work have set us free. That is why we do not always choose to mate or live with the men. Yes it is difficult for men, as yes we want too much and yes we can get it. I said to my husband the other day, thank god i am a woman in this modern world and I hope my daughters stay in a society like this. I do not want Australian society to go backwards and make women not be able to meet their potential Men need to also get out there, go dating and court a woman not expect instant gash , try not putting a move on a woman and just joining some social activity , and make time investment in a woman or a man. To all my lovely offline friends , I thank technology for letting me find you and now call you my friends Too my regular loves and lovers soon to come , without technology and RHP my pussy would have dried up and dropped out. inthekiss......luvin life
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RHP User
11 years ago
I ditched my 30yr LTR after 10yrs of mediocrity. My Ex no longer had time to talk, be intimate, work on our relationship. I tried everything I could to motivate her, but ppl can only be motivated if they wish to be. It's true, I sit at the K/B a lot, reading about ppl's lives and experiences, yes I am truly lonely, having lost 95% of friends and family in the wash up, but it does give me an option to be in contact with like minded ppl. But I make a point of chatting to people, in shops at work etc. I know eventually I will make new friends that will accept me for what I am now and respect the decision I made in my life. I had to do what I had to do. I'm happy with my new life, my Ex is now a sad, regretful woman, as she knows that she let our relationship fall into a pit and she lost the only man she ever truly loved. We spoke about it a lot, she tried to repair things, but it was at least 10yrs too late. There is no place in any relationship for complacency. Cheers P.L.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dating sites have ensured that an endless supply of dates, sexual encounters, romantic interludes, & casual hook ups are now the norm. For men, its all too easy to skip romance & traditional dating/courting etiquette, in favour of a "Hey babe, wanna meet up for a drink tonight?" text. If he turns up in a clean shirt & buys you a drink, some women now consider themselves lucky..!! Gone are the days of 'cheap but nice' restaurant meals, flowers & flirtation. Then there is the uncertainty over how many other women are on his dating list, how serious really is he for a relationship, will he call me again if I have sex with him? Has he googled & cyberr searched all my life history? Should I accept less than perfect, in return for loyalty? As for a first date, gone is the sense of apprennsion, wonder, intrique, or in depth conversation. Why? Because he already knows all about you via txts, emails, dating messages, Facebook etc. It is very hard for a woman in 2014 to feel appreciated & special by a man, esp knowing that you are one of maybe 20 other chicks on his vanilla site list. I am so grateful for my hubby, our children, & my life,. I truly feel for' the 'single woman seeking love' scenario. Step It Up guys. To receive love, you first need to show that you are worthy of her love, heart & femininity. Thank you Mrs JT2_ (As was other post on this thread) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ive missed your..... relationship and social... advices.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'PL1963' I ditched my 30yr LTR after 10yrs of mediocrity. My Ex no longer had time to talk, be intimate, work on our relationship. I tried everything I could to motivate her, but ppl can only be motivated if they wish to be. It's true, I sit at the K/B a lot, reading about ppl's lives and experiences, yes I am truly lonely, having lost 95% of friends and family in the wash up, but it does give me an option to be in contact with like minded ppl. But I make a point of chatting to people, in shops at work etc. I know eventually I will make new friends that will accept me for what I am now and respect the decision I made in my life. I had to do what I had to do. I'm happy with my new life, my Ex is now a sad, regretful woman, as she knows that she let our relationship fall into a pit and she lost the only man she ever truly loved. We spoke about it a lot, she tried to repair things, but it was at least 10yrs too late. There is no place in any relationship for complacency. Cheers P.L. PL... You contribute a fair bit to the forums that I enjoy reading, but many of your posts contain strong negative references to your ex. I really don't think you're as far down the road to a better place as you like us to think."Mediocre", a word you use to denigrate her.... can never be one persons fault in a relationship. Regardless of how much you say you tried to motivate her, you are not considering that your version of motivation may be her definition of badgering.... or pressure for your benefit instead of hers. Just like choosing to be motivated, people choose to move on... (at varying speeds). I don't say this to incite an argument, but, to motivate you to leave angry references to the past.... in the past. The future is better.High five, brother. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'inthekiss' Things advance at a great rate of knots. Soooo....true (knots).P.S...... Luv a coffee with a lady, luv a beer with the blokes, luv intimacy......Hate it when the shops are closed and i need more rope. (I wonder where that habit came from). I need a 24hr home kink delivery service, not technology.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'PL1963' I ditched my 30yr LTR after 10yrs of mediocrity. My Ex no longer had time to talk, be intimate, work on our relationship. I tried everything I could to motivate her, but ppl can only be motivated if they wish to be. It's true, I sit at the K/B a lot, reading about ppl's lives and experiences, yes I am truly lonely, having lost 95% of friends and family in the wash up, but it does give me an option to be in contact with like minded ppl. But I make a point of chatting to people, in shops at work etc. I know eventually I will make new friends that will accept me for what I am now and respect the decision I made in my life. I had to do what I had to do. I'm happy with my new life, my Ex is now a sad, regretful woman, as she knows that she let our relationship fall into a pit and she lost the only man she ever truly loved. We spoke about it a lot, she tried to repair things, but it was at least 10yrs too late. There is no place in any relationship for complacency. Cheers P.L. I was married for 16 years and divorced and we were away from each other for 12 years and three years ago we got back together, but both as different people. I think its working just fine, but you have to be very honest and not just settle in what you want and that can be confronting at times. You also need to have separate lives, and bits of that ( and not talking pink bits here) have to come together and be on the same page. if you are to much into each other then one gets suffocated. You x might have just had other things to deal with as well as dealing with you. Yes she may look back with regret at times, all of us do that. You sound happy, and that is really all that matters. I would just move on and not think about the x unless its to try to remember the nice things you had together. It takes two to tango and a marriage is broken into two equal parts no matter what people may believe.
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RHP User
11 years ago
... of expectations & belief systems. When you're truly happy in your own right, you realise that having other people in your life is more of an added bonus - not so much a necessity.
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