F63
The phone call asking "how do you know my husband?"
July 14 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Tell her all you know. After all, he lied to you both if he called himself "seperated." Honesty is the best policy. lovebittenxoxoxo
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RHP User
15 years ago
Deny Deny Deny... Not worth getting in the middle of it at all. He is the one that lied...but you are the one that will cop the shit. If she calls again just say that you don't know anything at all. That is just my opinion. I think that married or attached men and women should be honest...that way it gives the other person the choice if they want to go there or not. xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
lolz Sassy. I'm sure it's no trade secret to tell my wife about your "girlfriend gift club". I mean let's face it. Most women already know that we (as in husbands) have no idea what women want... and it's perfectly reasonable that we consult a considerate professional consultant such as yourself for ideas. Maybe we should meet for a drink so I can go over all my ideas in detail? I had a call last night from a woman. She said her name and then proceeded to ask me all kinds of personal details. I honestly had no idea who she was. Frankly I don't like talking to people on the phone and giving private details to those who I do not recognise immediately. And furthermore.. why should I indulge their intrusion into my life?? I refused to answer her questions and I told her that if her call was so important to me, then I would have thought to phone her before she phoned me... I then said goodbye and hung up. People think they have a right to know this stuff, but frankly, they have no right at all to an honest reply to a personal question from someone that they do not know personally. Give them nothing. Identity theft is a crime and that is how they go about it. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
..in the middle. You mention its his OLD phone and that his profile has seperated. So can I give the man the benefit of the doubt?? How do we know they didnt seperate for a while? That they have only got back together recently? That they are back together? Why assume that just because an annonymous womans voice on the other end of the phone line is telling you the truth? Could this be a messy custody battle and she is trying to get ammunition? I know that there are absolute scoundrels on here and liars and cheats however I also know that there are geninune guys in messy situations. No I dont know who it is just another view on the situation Keep out of it Sassy - its not your battle. Just an opinion given Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
A unknown number calls my mobile this morning and a female voice says "would you please tell me how you know my husband? Now I didn't recognise the guys name but she had discovered my number on his old phone with my name and profile name. Now before we go any further ...I didnt know who it was straight away but on doing some research I learned I have never met this guy and have only chatted in the chat room some time ago. Question. How does he have your phone number if you have only spoken to him on cam a couple of times??
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RHP User
15 years ago
Having been in this situation before with a lying, cheating partner, I know how hard it can be to make the call and ask that question. If nothing has happened then tell her the truth, at least it will put her mind at ease. Tell her about the dating website and she can check it out for herself. Provided she has not been abusive to you in any way I see no harm in putting her out of her misery. As others have said, you don't know the full story behind it. This is why I love being single!!! :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am with Stalky on this one. Deny deny deny. Never admit the truth! Lie to her face if necessary. Not your fault. You are not cheating it is his fault. Besides that, she could have been anyone on the phone. It coud have been a set up or a prank. I never tell anyone anythin g over the phone anyway. None of thire business what I do. What a silly man to allow her to find his phone with numbers on it. I have a married friend and he clears all his calls every night. Cheers. Chin up dear, you have done nothing wrong.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well i'm happy to say that i've been cheated on and i get any such phone calls ..I just knew what was happening. To hurt someone's emotions is much much worse than a broken bone and takes a helluva lot more time to get over. Cheers guys and gals Be good Be free Be everything YOU want be.... Mike.
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RHP User
15 years ago
stay right out of it. You have immediately taken HER side by deciding he is in the wrong. Before you answer that... think about these questions... How do you know that they are not seperated? How do you know that SHE is not the bitch from hell stiring shit up to cause his life pain? How do you know the true story between them? What business is it of yours anyway? Yes - I might sound a little hostile, but I'm not. I'm trying to make you think about the situation and all the things you do NOT know about, but have assumed already. You've assumed that he lied to you about being seperated... heck - I'm seperated, but for the last few months have been forced to live UNDER THE SAME ROOF as the wife/ex while we sort out financial arrangements. I've been 100% upfront with any ladies that I've met about it too. The wife/ex would I'm sure cause untold havoc if she could - she's a right bitch when she wants to be. My point is - it's none of your business what THEIR problems are. I'd not warn him either - as likewise, it's none of your concern. Not sure if that's helped or not - but that's my two bobs worth. hugs Wayne x PS - I don't envy you in this position - it's not an easy one at all.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I agree with Niceguy and Stalky on this one. I think we need to be clear on the definition of "separated" before we pass judgement. I was also living "under the same roof" as my husband but in separate rooms, for 12 months before I finally left he BUT he would have considered it cheating if I went out with other men and I certainly kept everything I did very hidden.... I wasn't going to create more shit in more life when there was enough already ! Dr Phil (the "nut" guru) had a top on revenge yesterday. It's amazing what hurt and angry people do. I'd stay out of it !!! Hugs, Miss Saturn
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'easygoing24U' Question. How does he have your phone number if you have only spoken to him on cam a couple of times?? This is why men get into trouble. Leave out one minor little detail and the Lady detectives with their overactive and fertile imaginations twist our every word. :p Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
I would go thru my phone...find the number she called on under received calls...save it to my phone...then name it DO NOT ANSWER!Stay out of it...not worth the drama.JMO...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
my question is is she an old girlfriend or maybe his ex that he is "seperated" from? is she trying to dig up dirt to get back at him for leavin gher? no one knoes the answers so i think best to keep quiet tell her/him nuthing and let them work it out
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RHP User
15 years ago
I had no intention of doing anything... i do hardly know this man .. he was by chance coming via Melbourne and I said if you do give us a call.. we can catch up .... The discussion was merely something to write in the forums... I think I will not do so again !!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Tell her the truth she already Knows it ...And the truth is he is on RHP and states he is not married.......if she contacts you again tell her.......she snoped ......... I found out like this but mine was emails......was seperated living under same roof deal you all know the one lol.... wow he had moved on THANK FUCK FOR THAT.....lol that was 4yrs ago best imformation I had ever had ....... Coffee x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Just call her back, tell her you have not bonked her bloke but would love to bonk her.....if she is passing through Melbourne, why not give it a try.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
My immediate response is just be honest and I still tend to lean this way, of course I'd tread carefully. On further consideration you don't want to get repeated calls. I'd probably just say "we chatted on the internet, I was lead to believe he was separated and nothing else happened and you need to sort it out with him and please don't call me again" After all seems he's lied to her, to you and to anyone else on here he's chatted with..best he leave RHP asap and make it a better place. I understand some people need something extra and that their partners may not understand so maybe letting the steam off in a discrete manner is acceptable but this guy is lying to everyone. Is there an easy answer?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sassyme, I was the phone call and it took more courage than you can imagine to call. I am not going to share the details of my life but I assure you I am not and have not been seperated from my husband aside from his job which has him traveling the world for a number of years. I am no fool and realize men will be boys. I could care less that he belongs to this or any other site. I am hoping to be able to use this as a way to let him see that the life we share can be so much more interesting if he added me as a friend! Any way, I appreciate your honesty. Like it's been said, you did nothing wrong and you don't owe me anything. I believe it's better to ask than assume and I have known my husband ALL my life, we can work through anything, but asking about phone numbers and womens names is more of an accusation than a means to the truth. I have to say NaughtyChequers might be onto something! LOL Any way, as a MARRIED new member, thanks to all of you that would tell me to piss off and to those that would have given me the info I needed to let him know to add me as a friend and change his profile, I might see some of you around!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well we get calls like that a bit on the club phone. You see there are a lot of married guys that call us to see if they can get in to the club and when they find out they have to have a face picture on profile etc...they obviously never fill in the rego form. That is why we make guys submit a face picture on profile, you see most married guys wont put up a face picture as they are too scared to get found out. When i get calls like that , i say...Couples International...then a lady usually says...what is couples international, and i say we are a "sex on premise swingers club", that usually stops them straight away, the way i look at it is. If the husband has done something wrong in the eyes of his wife,that is his problem, i have no sympathy for cheaters.
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SexyArse
15 years ago
Totally have no sympathy for cheaters. I used to think that I would tell the woman if the guy cheated. However I am now more inclined to take the "mind your own business" kind of approach but with a twist. If a woman was to ask who I was I would say that the problem is not with me it is obviously with her husband. Tell him you found my number in his phone. Ask him to explain. If he does not explain then you know he has something to hide. In the long run she will learn not to trust him if he is a serial cheater. Women are pretty intuitive when it comes to these things. Mr SexyArse and I have been in an honest relationship from the time we got together seven years ago. I have found since we started swinging in the past year that has not changed at all. Honesty is the key to a great relationship and it will make your relationship last.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Just wanted to say I love your profile! I truely hope your man is smart enough to take advantage of the offer you have made him!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't get why you are on here looking for men???? Your post confused me...obviously you found out he was on here so joined up...or you were already on here when you found out??? Although I do believe the latter as it only took you one day to answer this Forum question!! Why are you hoping he will add you as a friend? You say you have known him ALL your life...but yet you can't sit him down and communicate your needs with him? You can't just tell him that you know he is on this site and that you are interested in swinging? Wow, communication must be dead there. Bit too suss for me I am afraid. xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am not interested in what anyone else thinks of me. I did what I needed to do for my own peice of mind. I told him I know of the sites and spoke with some one. I was informed of the post and I only stumbled across it while trying to find my way around the site. My childhood and OUR early years as a couple are complicated and not really anyones business. I am 36 and have had a handleful of partners as a "child" but have been with the same man for 20 years. I asked him if he would be bothered if I did what he has done and he assured me he wouldn't. So while he is on here enjoying himself I am home with our children wishing he would be asking me to do what he does with some of you. Hardly seems like the logical thing to do so now is the time to make some changes, fulfilling some fantasies and creating new ones is how I'm chosing to fill my time instead. I knew about the porn and watching and I am no porn star. I can't compete so I just left it up to him to meet his needs but it crossed a line for me when I realized they were paid sites and that it was a webchat so he was not just watching but being watched. There is something about finding out that some one else has been "intimate" with your partner. At first I was hurt, now I want to know what he's like when he's with some one else. I am curious. I am not sure what it is I like or am completely comfortable with so I am on here to try before I through myself into the real deal. And I would not fulfill my fantasies with out making sure he was ok with it first. I can't change what's been done but I can do something about it. I am not on here to ruin my marriage but to save it. I am not bashing him but I will be doing things the way I wished he had done and I will be telling him about my experiences. I commented on the post because I felt terrible when I read what some of you had said about a woman who seems to have a heart of gold. I have never met her and she could have thought what alot of you did but she chose to trust that I was genuine and help me so I could start putting pieces back together. My post was a thank you and like I said, what any of you think of me... such is life
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platinumblonde69
15 years ago
I've been in this situation before, only twice to my amazement. Once a married guy faked his wife's death. I was totally shocked when the wife rang me from the grave and asked what the hell was going on with her husband. The other one belonged to a couple profile on here. Somehow the wife suspected her hubby and would fake being him online. So when i got a text threatening me, its a lesson you dont forget in a hurry. I totally agree with people being honest on here regarding being married, as then potential partners can make up their own mind if they wanna go there or not. As with anything, each to their own. Not everyones cup of tea, but it happens and is reality. Best policy is NOT to get involved in any discussion with any partner who rings and makes this type of call. You will be made out to be the bad guy who tried to seduce her hubby blah blah blah....and he will lie his sweet arse out of it all. Trust me. My advice is this to any woman found in the same situation. Just say, sorry, this is a work phone and Ive only just received it the other day. The previous person has left the company. Im sorry I cant help you. END OF STORY. Simple, easy, and BELIEVABLE. At work we make phone calls to mobile phones all the time and that is a true story. But better still, dont get yrself in that predictament in the first place (talking to the married person cheating here). On my phone I used to have a voice mail message saying "Hi. You've phoned "Jobs 4 Us". Im unable to take your call at the moment. Please leave your name, number and the job file number you are interested in, and Ill get back to you when I get a chance." It saved many arses. Everyone has a choice, let's not forget that.. Plat
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RHP User
15 years ago
That's their dilemma, now or later it will unravel in it's natural course. You fuelling it would be tampering in the name of being rightous and this aint no church gathering. It's a dynamic of this site, welcome to the realm of cyberfidelity. Not real so try not to make it so real for yourself.(unsettling as it all may be) Peace be with you......
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sassy.. I dont target married women, but i certainly favour them. for a numberof reasons, but the main one is, I AM A TOTALLY COMMITTED SINGLE person. For my own reasons. Now, I have been caught by husbands, threatened and on occasions, had to fight more then once. I never attend wedding ceremonies and stand up and promise the groom I will not have sex with, OR makes friends with her. I have met a decidedly spectacular woman via here, who discovered her man was playing up on her away form home and chose her own way to deal with it *evil smiles* Another story that! BUT, when I have been confronted by the angry or questioning partner, I say something like "Mate: this is your problem to deal with. If you have a problem or suspectedproblem with your wife/girl, then you need to speak with her - dont make it personal with me, because the outcome will become a lot more messy" I was caught naked in a house by a very aggressive male once and just that was what I said. I then went on to inform him that the lady had invited me in and if she wants me to leave, she will ask so. Ok, this was a certain amount of bluff, because i refuse to try to snatch up all my gear and RUN some someone FFS. Of course the lady finally asked me to leave, so, I finished the drink she had for me, then dressed, included doing up mky boot laces, thanked her for the evening, thanked him for his consideration, and left.. VERY relieved! The point of this story is simple! This is not your fault someone lied to you! Guess what.. EVERY male you have EVER bedded has lied to you! THAT is WHAT we DO! PERIOD :) Get over it :) your Choices are simple 1) Go find a male at "RED DOT" (hotels/clubs) or find some other way to meet one, OR 2) Keep on here, and bonk whoever you like.. Honestly - he is going to do it ANYWAY... you may as well enjoy it! You may well EVENTUALLY find the man of your dreams (who will still lie to you anyway) but, enjoy the physical in the meantime. I honestly dont say this with any malice, so please dont say I am a home breaker or woman hater, or man hater or anything. It is just about making choices, and at the end of the day, Keeping It Simple! *smiles* your local caveman "uhg uhg"
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RHP User
15 years ago
agree with mikle were not all bad Im sure if us men made that comment about ladies we would all be bastards not really into it but sometimes enough is enough , if you have nothing nice to say with reason,stay in your cave please
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RHP User
15 years ago
From Personal Experience I would advise you to stay clear of this Scenario!BOTH Sexes Lie sadly!Choose the Battles wisely..................This is an Adult Site which PROMOTES Deception in many forms..Obviously there is a lot to gain by doing so......................Enjoy the Journey but remember its the Internet where NOTHING is at it seems!Ciao
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RHP User
15 years ago
Common scense! Thank you.. for being Straight! Boys, I NEVER said males are BAD, OR WRONG: I said WE LIE! and we do. Period. as vigo Lady said.. BOTH sexes do. Some tell HUGE lies.. some are horribly truthful but still tell LITTLE lies.. but, we all lie :) Even if we fail to disclose to everything, knowing it is safer for us to withhold, then we are misleading or hiding or deceptive.. in any case, it is a lie, even if it is one by DEFAULT :) This is not a BAAAAD thing.. it just is!
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RHP User
15 years ago
No sympathy for the cheaters. Do, however have sympathy for the person caught in the middle. If they have lied to get to you then they will get what they deserve. I tend to agree to keep out of it and BJ has the right idea rename the contact DO NOT ANSWER.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Tell her "he is mine now, so stop wasting your time!"
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sucker got caught out, bad for the wife though, very bad.
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