F36
The new I do..
November 21 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
We are nearing 15 years and it's still the smartest move I ever made! Marriage should be a partnership. Equal strengths and weakness, common goals. Wedding vows say to forsake all others, in my opinion monomomy is certainly the common assumption. We have obviously played with other people but have never put others any others first. We are definitely a good team, we often work together in addition to kids and everything else.
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MissBishere
11 years ago
separate houses, with some sleepovers Not sure I could deal with Him playing with others I would want to play with others
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RHP User
11 years ago
Monogamy would not be a requirement, although absolute honesty and safety in sexual practices would be. Separate houses or at least separate wings of the same house with some shared areas but also completely separate living spaces. No more till death do us part. You'd select a time frame, 5 years, 10 years, with an option to renew or part without acrimony (this is a wish list remember 😝). Finances would be kept separate but with a joint account that is contributed to equally for running the house, looking after kids, pets, cars, going out together, etc.. Childcare, housework, maintenance, gardening, etc would be equally divided with negotiation if one prefers some other task (you do the ironing and I'll take the bathrooms, for example)...... That's all I can think of right now, but I may come up with something else as I read more of the book.....
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
No Marriage..... But what I would love is to have as many lovers as I wish, who all adore me of course (I really am insatiable), do what I want, when I want and not have to answer or explain my actions to anyone......perfect......oh hold on that pretty much my life now.....lovinit......💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
She would be the first person I want to tell when something goes well in my day. She will also be the one I confide in when something bad happens in my day. Equality in household chores, in working and in earning, in keeping fit and putting effort into the relationship so that it continues to be two people helping each other grow to the people we want to be, which includes accepting each other for the people we want to become. In essence, I have only one question of this lady. When I'm 80+ and I'm sitting there near the end of life, I'm going to look across at this lady and say thank you for sharing in a wonderful life. If I live most days feeling this, then that's the marriage I want.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Congratulations KIS this a lovely thread. @ Shells the way you described your marriage dynamics came across very pure. I feel its important for each party to retain their individuality. Too many marriages fail because one trys to convert the other to their ideals. The root cause is often mistrust or jealousy. In my perfect marriage each party would feel they could share their deepest desires openly and honestly without fear of recrimination. They know trust is do deep it goes without saying - non sequitur - they would not just arbitrarily do it - simply just been shared. Oh and bare back Anal is allowed - i mean how can one get by without it?
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6exxy
11 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' separate houses, with some sleepovers Not sure I could deal with Him playing with others I would want to play with others Yes same here.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The current western world view of having only one partner is getting old fast. With things like equal rights for gay marriage and things like that, it won't be long after that where other groups of people push for even more rights regarding marriage including polygamy and so on. Personally I don't think marriage means much anymore, and the idea of people having multiple partners is not the evil thing so many people make it out to be. It is something that has been practised throughout the world for thousands of years and still is in some countries. Unfortunately though, it has typically been done in a way that oppresses or objectifies women. Men have had many wives, but women have not been able to have more than one husband, which is not fair at all. Even in the United States, polygamy was practised until the mid to late 1800s (and not just by Mormons). Personally I believe that part of the reason for it becoming illegal was for population control as the majority of polygamist families had hordes of children. To me though, I think that multiple partners would work for people who require more emotional, mental and physical satisfaction than just one person is always able to provide. People could potentially be happier if this was the norm and I think there would be less fights and arguments in relationships once people got past the jealousy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
we have a traditional marrage in a sense... Except one thing... We are free and therefore can share everything eg; Me: met (and played) with this woman today who had the biggest tits I've ever seen in my life! Her: had some guy come over today with the biggest cock I've ever seen.. You wouldn't believe how much cum he had.. It was amazing! Both: let's get such n such over tonight for some wild fucking It's fair to say that following these type of conversations we end up naked in a mess of sexual flavours! We have been together since 17 and are now both 33...We have the most intimate connection and love for each other. Allowing each other to explore our desires as we both grow and develop over the years and to be able to share our sexual discoveries and exploration has made us truley happy and has created a marrage that is stronger than ever. And the best is ahead of us... After all, women really come into their own during the 35-45yrs old bracket, and as a man who craves to have an uncontrollable nymoho who can't get enough and wants as many others as she can get her hands on.. Well... I'm licking my lips!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
13 months on from a messy split and even messier ongoing property dispute I am left wondering what do I want in a future relationship. I can guarantee you it's not the traditional, monotonous (oops sorry, monogamous) marriage. I would never combine finances again, ever. MissB; Separate houses and sleepovers sounds like an awesome plan. I want the intimacy of a lover, friend, companion but the freedom to do what I want when I want. I am not a jealous person. So I am more than happy to consider an open relationship. But as KIS said honesty and safety is integral to that. In the end I have figured it's all just too hard to find something I can't st this stage even define for myself. Am curious to see if I can find some ideas (and willing participants...) on this thread. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
It kind of defeats the whole purpose to me. They are asking you to think outside the box and view marriage more creatively....... yet they still feel you should get married or have some sort of contract for a specific purpose such as raising children or a marriage for companionship from what I can see from the blurbs about the book. I mean who on earth would go into a parenting marriage for the sole purpose of raising children? That is completely ridiculous to me. Maybe we should be allowed to "marry" as many people as we want. Have a parenting husband and a husband for sex, and a husband for companionship.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've never been married and really don't see the need. I don't think I'd be any more committed to a relationship by signing a document. Coops, that was really lovely!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hey meeka ;) you with some strong valid points there... i particularly like your last one mix it with an equilibrium happiness ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well one things for sure it's way to easy to get married. Only requires one signature (well 2 if you include the 3 month notification). But separation takes 30+ signatures. Maybe a more defined "contract" to getting married with more signatures will get people thinking more about what they want out of marriage. Sad that there is a saying that in the end all marriages end up being business contracts.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Maybe marriage is really just about the contract between two people... The ceremony is a nice way to commentate a partnership contract with no get out clause. Which how many people would sign that for other goods and services. :p
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RHP User
11 years ago
We have bed been married 20years ,would not change a thing. Marriage to us is till death do us apart to us that should never change ,yes we do like soft swinging to keep things even more interesting then before.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm not getting it Meeks, You're suggesting one husband who has found himself relegated to the friend zone, another husband who is a Nanny to the offspring of the husband who is getting the sex? Where do you suppose these mythical men exist other than the husband who is getting all the sex and no responsibility, much like the wife. Cheers N
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RHP User
11 years ago
Interesting that I get the underlying assumption that your married partner is your only form of support. They help you raise the kids, give you company and are great in the bedroom. I found marriage was more a joining of the families than two people getting together. In terms of support in raising children, grand parents, brothers and sisters are usually there to help, even possibly some good friends. In terms of company, good friends are always a phone call away and like to do things together. So it leaves sex and yes a trusting partner is great for it. So I think a healthy marriage actually needs a support group around you to function well, otherwise too much pressure is placed on your partner which eventually rips you apart with resentment, anxiety and other nasty things that build up over time. I actually look at humans on a few millennium again when we wandered about in tribes. My guess is that the tribe together collectively raised the kids and I guess that monogamy may not have been practiced to ensure enough diversity in the general pool. But fast forward to now, with not enough time to really adapt, and we live in a civilised society where it is no longer feasible for the whole society to raise kids. My guess is marriage was created as an artificial tribe to ensure there is a tribe to raise the off spring. The issue I find is that this artificial tribe is too small to cope with all the pressures of modern society. So widening your tribe with good friends and extended family is the support necessary to make the marriage work healthily and happily. So maybe in defining your needs it's crosspolination of marriages rather than us and them attitudes.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't know, I haven't read the book. And although I can understand people getting together for companionship but I seriously can't understand who would have a parenting marriage. Sounds like total dullsville to me. Maybe the OP can enlighten us when she gets to that chapter. I suppose the authors, even though they are asking people to think outside the square, I bet they are still advocating a monogamous one on one relationship. Are they Keepitsimple? What about group marriage?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I know we have all been brainwashed to think there is the one or that a prince will come and save the princess and you will live happily ever after but in all seriousness, would anyone even get married in the first place if they didn't believe that they were deeply in love - on all levels - and that you can have it all. I have read numerous theories. Marriage is to keep women honest and ensure that the husband really is the father of the children... Or that marriage is to ensure that a man will stick around long enough to raise the children. At the end of the day.... Regardless if you swing or are monogamous- you would still like to think that your marriage will last through the parenting stage, the companionship stage, the sex stage which hopefully lasts forever. Or am I just being romantic?
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I still think the love of life is out there....and hopefully not married to someone else! 😳
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'coops14' we have a traditional marrage in a sense... Except one thing... We are free and therefore can share everything eg; Me: met (and played) with this woman today who had the biggest tits I've ever seen in my life! Her: had some guy come over today with the biggest cock I've ever seen.. You wouldn't believe how much cum he had.. It was amazing! Both: let's get such n such over tonight for some wild fucking It's fair to say that following these type of conversations we end up naked in a mess of sexual flavours! We have been together since 17 and are now both 33...We have the most intimate connection and love for each other. Allowing each other to explore our desires as we both grow and develop over the years and to be able to share our sexual discoveries and exploration has made us truley happy and has created a marrage that is stronger than ever. And the best is ahead of us... After all, women really come into their own during the 35-45yrs old bracket, and as a man who craves to have an uncontrollable nymoho who can't get enough and wants as many others as she can get her hands on.. Well... I'm licking my lips!!! - Posted from rhpmobile Coops, why cant all hot str8 men be like you :) world will be more fun and sexy place :)
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