M60
The love and lust confussion..
February 23 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Some people can't seperate sex from love (or lust from love) ... they'd like to believe they can. They may get into it believing it's only going to be a bit of fun. But then it feels good.... really good (especially if it's been a while), the skin to skin contact makes you warm all over, the other person is witty, funny and even charming. THEN the emotions get involved and they find that they like that person and the feeling they get when with that person and want to spend more time with them. That's when what began as just a mutual romp in the hay becomes very uncomfortable for the one who IS only in it for the fun. What do you do? Cool it for a while or sever completely. There are plenty of other people out there who are ONLY interested in some fun. Sweet
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RHP User
16 years ago
Great question and I'd like to know how to separate them too. I found myself getting confused by it all so have backed off and just watch for now :) For me sex without a connection is what I have with my vibe. The other..................just dont know Ohhh and connection doesnt mean undying love just some sort of zing betwen 2 people
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RHP User
16 years ago
Good insight mate. I think that all the flirting and comminication builds expectations. There is no way that it cannot. And then when you meet face to face those expectations remain as sexual tension.... it is too late then to remember your swinger's mantra... "no expectations, no disapointment".... and this creates conflict. The first kiss should tell you if there is anything there... if you are willing to take notice of it... but all the sexual tension built up before hand can overpower your instinctual reading of the pheremone receptors that teoo you whether your body enjoys this person or not. The point is.. we tend to think too much... whereas we should really just let the animal out and see where it takes us. Hugs stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
The animal is outRahahahhhhahahahahahahahahEarl
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RHP User
16 years ago
Sweetdesires..i like this site because we are all looking for adult fun..As Stalky said let the aniamal out ! Playing on the forum is great too because we can share thoughts and frustrations etc..Can there be love who knows ..there is plenty of lovin here !!
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RHP User
16 years ago
OMG, i agree with you 100% sweet_desires.recently happened to me where i probably should have cooled it off for awhile but instead severed it instead and now he says,yeah we'll chat, chat my ass he forgot.I think in this instance and all cases my emotions get the better of me,when i get attracted to something i like but there's something missing. Stalky i do tend to let the animal in me go when things are new to see if there's going to be a connection,and everyone should be open to letting themselves go otherwise why be on here?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Great TopicFor me it all got Confusing when real feelings and emotions got involved!!!!It has been hard to let go so to speak - but.................. lemme tell ya - what a difference a couple of weeks can make in ones life.The feelings i once had for "him" are no longer - they have been totally replaced by someone that fills every void he ever thought he left. Yet I was the one to make the break and make a difference in my own life. If it all gets blurred and if it's not reciprocated back in any way shape or form - it's time to do the best for whats right for you and your own worth of self.It may sound fickle - but that is just my point - Maybe it wasn't what i had first thought or was in a total delusional state of mind............ LOLAny break up of any kind is hard - but there is light at the end of the tunnel LOL ( NO PUN INTENDED)All i can say is Don't give up just because one door may have closed or slammed in your face - because there is a world of doors out there that you will open - just by being YOU!Good LuckHugz Ms x
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RHP User
16 years ago
hey trish...not good ya feeling blue, sending ya a big hug with a strawberry on top...grins...Taipan, the hardest thing i find dealing with is the feelings...they are such a mongrel thing...interfere with my sleep...my work...play around in my brain all day...so i have decided to have a bit of a break...there's only really one woman i would like to play with...so i'll wait and see if she comes my way or not...and if she doesn't....well, i'll deal with that when it happensas for love....nah....i don't wanna go there again...having been ripped from limb to limb oncesomething i never, ever want to have happen again...so that baby is locked awaycheersjose...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Wow... I think we need a Wounded Souls Support Group !!! I have experienced love once and lust a few times. When I'm in a reflective mood I often wonder whether the love was in fact love or something else all together... a third variable that I'm unsure what it is called. I think once you've had your heart ripped out it's hard to expose it again. Sometimes I test it out and open a little crack into my heart but it rarely stays open. Lust ? Mmmm.... I would say there are a few guys I lust over. I'm lucky that there's no one that I'm lusting for that I don't currently have as that can be torture. But lust still hurts. When you lust for something the desire for it is great and you can think about it a lot. I think lust is a stronger drug than love. In fact lust can become an addiction....love is a desire, a need, a want. When I have love, I feel calm, content, relaxed and at peace. I am more productive in all aspect of life. I propose that all us Wounded Souls get together and have a big group hug ! (and maybe a little skin on skin contact and maybe some kissing and maybe a little touching and maybe a little licking.... mmmmm now that sounds like fun!) xxx Miss Saturn
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RHP User
16 years ago
it's only natural to lust over someone you find attractive. Sometime it turns into realty more often than not it doesn't. Love creeps up on slowly and often without you knowing. As adults we should be all aware it's lust we are playing with and hope we are mature enough to know when to pull away or when its getting into heavy territory. I for one have been bitten before and its hard to lose control of lust and hope for something else. All previously bitten should form the lust club. No other feeling allowed
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RHP User
16 years ago
Then why do we keep going into our lusty adventures ?? Then those nice feelings emotionally start flowing , we have that voice in the back of our heads ..beware beware ..But we still walk through that door.. So are we gluttons for pain ? afterall we have all been there. I do agree with Stalky we want to let the animal loose ..but sometimes our tiger becomes a puppy.. I do think we are all hunters for something and we love it no matter what happens in the end..umm being feed sounds good to me , i off to the jungle !!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Lust is like you say a strong thing. Lusting over something you can't have for the long term doesn't solve anything i think it just plays with the emotions.Yeah lust is an addiction,ever heard Kelly Clarkson's version of addicted sums up exactly what your talking about lust. Like yourself once you've had a nasty breakup with someone it takes ages to get back into the saddle and test the water and see if you can ever trust someone with our fragile hearts. Love to meet up with the Wounded Souls Support Group like you suggested sounds like super idea.
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RHP User
16 years ago
All of the above seems genuine - and what a marvellous string this one is so far. We all experience the intrusion, welcome or otherwise, of emotion when we play intimately with each other. Its really gratifying to read the candour in the posts above. But there is a really important factor that must be brought in to our discussion, isn't there? I feel that it is precisely the moment that we become aware of someone's growing affection that is so crucial. It is at this moment that it can be oh so easy to lie about how we feel, the course of least resistance, knowing it is what our partner wants us to say... and it can become the cause of so much pain later on... pain that perhaps might have been avoided if we had remained honest about our feelings at this critical balance point in our rude and lusty new relationship. Who plucks up the courage to make a point of telling the vulnerable sexy-but-falling-in-love partner that we don't feel the same way? That we both got together because we were horny and my feelings are still the same - just lusty and horny but not any deeper than that? That, I suggest, is the critical factor. Honesty. What do you think?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'RudeLove' All of the above seems genuine - and what a marvellous string this one is so far. We all experience the intrusion, welcome or otherwise, of emotion when we play intimately with each other. Its really gratifying to read the candour in the posts above. But there is a really important factor that must be brought in to our discussion, isn't there? I feel that it is precisely the moment that we become aware of someone's growing affection that is so crucial. It is at this moment that it can be oh so easy to lie about how we feel, the course of least resistance, knowing it is what our partner wants us to say... and it can become the cause of so much pain later on... pain that perhaps might have been avoided if we had remained honest about our feelings at this critical balance point in our rude and lusty new relationship. Who plucks up the courage to make a point of telling the vulnerable sexy-but-falling-in-love partner that we don't feel the same way? That we both got together because we were horny and my feelings are still the same - just lusty and horny but not any deeper than that? That, I suggest, is the critical factor. Honesty. What do you think? i felt like saying to the guy that i was seeing that he was very attracted to them,but before i could do anything he said i'd never do anything more serious with you like a relationship.I feel like saying it to him but although he says he wants to chat and makes a time and then doesn't turn up to msn or i don't get a call.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Great post Taipan, it's always a hard one as lust may or may not lead to love and oh how uncomfortable when the change is only one sided. I've not really had the problem as in my single days I really only indulged in lustful pleasures with those I had deep feelings for (guess that's why it's nice to play now). I did want to see if the "cocky, arse with attitude" would work once and ended up picking up a girl at a bar who decided to stay, well the sex was great but after a week I couldn't lie. What a "not so nice" let down when we're naked in bed and I just can't go further, breaking up mid-foreplay is not recommended!Playing as a couple is nice though as I have my love so the rest is just fun and lust although a few good friends can be made too. To this end playing with other couples seems easier too. Solution? Yes, all you gorgeous people above go find your love then come play with us! ;)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Totally agree rudelove...I think your last paragraph hits the money..
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RHP User
16 years ago
I've already got that.... and because of that I can meet with someone and have it ONLY be about sex no matter how many times I see them. When I'm there I am SO in the moment and enjoy every second... but when I walk out the door there is no lingering feeling of lust. I don't think about it over and over. It does not mean I didn't have a fantastic time, it's just sex and when it's done, it's done. I suppose I would feel differently if I wasn't in a relationship. Sweet
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'm with sweet_desires on this one. No matter how many times, it is only sex and once I leave the room then I leave it all behind.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I believe lust is just the sheer desire to take a girl to bed. Thinking with the little head so to speak. When you think about someone you lust after do you think about waking up next to them? Most likely not. Just what you want to do to them, or have them do to you. The sheer primal urge. Love is something that I honestly don't have the life experience to comment much on- and honestly being a young bloke I think that Lust is easily mistaken for Love. That's not to say that the two don't go together. I'm sure plenty of happy married couples would say that they still lust after their partner - or so I would hope anyway!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Women get a hormone after orgasm which forms attachment bonds in their memory to the person they are sleeping with. Boys get one you find in turkey meat which makes us sleepy. *YAWN* Best thing to do is not let the girl climax then she just throws shit at you and doesn't want to see you again. Then you only get Wounded Soles running down the road in bare feet dodging stilletoes and ashtrays and stuff. Is there some way to post this stuff anonymously? erm... Anonymous
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RHP User
16 years ago
Honesty between the two of us (3 or 4 maybe hehehe) is crucial. But the most important one to be honest to is YOURSELF Swinging with a desperate heart, a jealous mind, a broken spirit, or trying to fill a void is REALLY dangerous to your soul. Safe sex isnt just about weairng a condom......take care of yourselves people protect your heart and soul. Whats that old saying......men need sex to feel loved.............women need to feel loved to have sex................ be nice to each other miss b in rose coloured glasses
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'randomtip' Women get a hormone after orgasm which forms attachment bonds in their memory to the person they are sleeping with. Boys get one you find in turkey meat which makes us sleepy. *YAWN* Best thing to do is not let the girl climax then she just throws shit at you and doesn't want to see you again. Then you only get Wounded Soles running down the road in bare feet dodging stilletoes and ashtrays and stuff. Is there some way to post this stuff anonymously? erm... Anonymous LOL! Random! Has to be one of THE best thready bits ever! Hope to see a lot more of you around forum town....
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RHP User
16 years ago
Enjoy the passion and connection...And friendship.. If something more is to happen...and you both want..then it will happen. Go with the flow and treasure those sweet moments .. Huggies sweetpetit41xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
That's seriously funny! Now I understand why those pommy scientists recently wouldn't acknowledge the existence of the female g-spot.... hehe.. crafty buggas... NO sense lloking for it fellas.. it doesnt exist... may as well please yourselves though. Ooooops.... errrr... no. I mean... I get much pleasure by making sure she is enjoying herself... hehe. Hugs Stalky Quoting 'randomtip' Women get a hormone after orgasm which forms attachment bonds in their memory to the person they are sleeping with. Boys get one you find in turkey meat which makes us sleepy. *YAWN* Best thing to do is not let the girl climax then she just throws shit at you and doesn't want to see you again. Then you only get Wounded Soles running down the road in bare feet dodging stilletoes and ashtrays and stuff. Is there some way to post this stuff anonymously? erm... Anonymous
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RHP User
16 years ago
How often does a scientist cum? Captain Cook missed the map of Tassie !
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RHP User
16 years ago
So does that mean we girls dont need to invent a headache any more........we can just give you a turkey sandwich and it"ll be apples ??????? LOLOLOL love it giggling Miss b PS can you kill someone by inducing coma with turkey sandwiches ????? off to the deli....
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RHP User
16 years ago
I can only speak for myself There has to be a connection for me and hence a bit of loveLust is animal action and great fun Then there is deep romantic love ciao Hermes
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RHP User
16 years ago
OK, I know there's a difference between love and lust how most people see it. I readily will admit that I am not very normal in the way I feel emotions and how I relate to others.So, the above disclaimer in place, why can't you have both? Why are people so afraid of their emotions or the emotions of others?Why can't a torrid love affair happen in one evening, or a weekend? I'm all for mad, passionate, emotional brief encounters, I've had several, and they make me smile in fond memory. Also, that mad crazy feeling doesn't happen all the time with everyone so I cherish those memories and experiences especially. I had a three month crazy fling with someone who is still one of the greatest loves of my life. I still love him. He loves me too. Nothing will ever happen again though, and we'll never have any more of a relationship than the friendship we have.It's not the emotions that are the problem, and that cause confusion, it's trying to grab hold of the feelings and ending up gripping them so tight that they slip between the fingers, and you end up grasping at something else, that doesn't want to be caught! Wanting to posess the person who engendered those feelings in you causes much heartache and pain, especially when they don't want to be possessed.OK, that's all sounding a bit zen, way too zen for me. Just let the love happen, dont' be afraid of it, and don't try and hold on to it.It's a wild thing and doesn't like to be caught. :)
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