M56
The lost art!
January 16 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I would love to be a courtesan ,are you rich,do you like older women,will I get a villa in Spain,servants and a clothing allowance?You sound just perfect Blue,I assume you will be flying up here on a regular basis.I am quite inexpensive really, my needs are very modest,a town house by the water is absolutely essential,but I leave the choice of jewellery entirely up to you....oh and at least a trip OS every six months. Yours in great anticipation, Freya... oh almost forgot,are you auditioning for the position or will you just take first courtesan in the queue to apply?..just one more thing,do you require written references ,because the local Vicar has offered to give me a bad character reference
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RHP User
13 years ago
I love being the Mistress...haven't been one in a while now...miss it so much! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
13 years ago
few things more degrading and reprehensible. For both parties. If it was an art style, it would be nouveau gauche. No dice.
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RHP User
13 years ago
chaps you know it's just polygamy in disguise.A mistress just sounds so wickedly naughty.... whats degrading in that.....it is all just sexual capital gents and only degrading if you have no choice. I find situations where men treat women like unpaid hookers far more degrading. When they always expect that she will provide the venue ,and then they run out the door as soon as possible with barely a grunt. Women have choices,we can choose who ,where and whether we want to have sex.Some people find the thought of group sex degrading,some people find the thought of sex outdoors or with strangers degrading,I find marriage degrading,but that is just my opinion based on my experience. Anything is degrading if you are compelled to do it because you have no choice,being choiceless is degrading.
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RHP User
13 years ago
t is an art Its getting dressed in all kinds of sexy things to surprise him, as you wait in the very nice five star hotel its getting dozens of roses at work and people whispering , where is this guy sending her flowers Its earnings and him putting them on you, or a necklace Its candles in a lavish bathroom Its eating sticky date pudding in bed, room service as you lay there naked in thousand count sheets Its great sexy tantric long sex And its not having to wash jocks or all the dull every day things that can flatten out your sex life Its being on top in a belly dancing costume and him ripping it to bits and him clutching handful’s of beads in his pleasure. A Mistress in the pleasure of her man, gets a lot for herself You are sexy , desired , and lusted after I rather like it nothing degrading at all. Good sex takes skill and imagination, being a Mistress means you just are good at being that fantasy woman. Being a wife takes a lot more, that is the hard yards. I am both, but to different men. Perhaps, as my girlfriends say, I do have the best of both worlds.
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RHP User
13 years ago
For the wife at home who has no idea. The shame, the embarrassment, the guilt etc. when it all comes out, and it almost always does. Tuscan, your situation is totally unique, your husband knows about it and has accepted it. Freya, similar idea - a mistress is not just polygamy in disguise - that would involve everyone being on the same page. It's the deception that's the problem. It's hurtful, and in my view quite pathetic.It's degrading for the husband, who's too much of a coward to either stick to his vows, leave his partner, or ask for change. It's degrading to think that he's got an 'uncontrollable libido' and 'can't help himself', like men are little more than base animals. I'm no fan of the institution of marriage either Freya, and think people should be smart enough not to get themselves into that situation in the first place if they don't think they can stick to it. However, I also appreciate that circumstances change and there's a lot of complexity to cheating which I'm skirting around here. Nonetheless, there's a considerable difference between cheating out of 'desperation', and trying to glorify it as a 'lost art', as something to be proud of. That disgusts me, and I'd think incredibly low of any friends of mine who tried to pull that crap.It's degrading to the mistress - granted not as much, and Freya, I appreciate that you "find situations where men treat women like unpaid hookers far more degrading," because at least that's acknowledging the nature of the relationship. Again, I have no inherent problem with prostitution from a moral position, but that doesn't mean I don't find it icky when men pay for sex. Particularly when it's older guy/younger girl. There's a major power imbalance in this kind of relationship, and it's often the mistress who ends up getting hurt being compartmentalised, thinking they mean more to their lover than just a piece on the side, ending up wanting more out of the relationship etc.A 'mistress' is a euphemism for 'unpaid hooker to cheat with'. Maybe try spend that time and money repairing your relationship instead, or grow up and deal with your problems like an adult.Neptune_DriftWet Blanket since 2010
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Paradisepair
13 years ago
Tied up with marriages of convenience, marrying for stature, social principals of repression and general oppression of women...? (Wives and mistresses seen as objects). I'm all for a bit of pampering but not at the cost of liberation. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
To get all the man's good and none of the reality .....No whinging, no washing , no life "stuff" ............If I was single this would be me :) fuck me and leave me alone in your 5 star hotel .......being it on :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
A nice little love nest all expenses paid for Gold Jewellery, quality lingerie and high heels galore Overseas trips and weekends away 5 star room service, no work, just play To be at the beckon and call of a man who thinks you are worth this and more The life of a kept woman is very tempting for sure... Vs No presents or surprise gifts for being a bit on the side Always your place not his, curtains drawn and locked inside No time to share a meal, let's just fuck on the floor 20 minutes and it's over and he bolts out the door So, ladies...does it sound better to be a Millionaire's Mistress or would you rather be a poor man's whore?
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RHP User
13 years ago
...of being a courtesan? This was an art many centuries ago when it was some sort of sign of nobility. Of course, if things with the King got a little tight around the edges and the Queen was catching on...give me head took on a whole new meaning. It was also quite customary to give the headsman a few gold coins in advance of your last date to ensure that his aim was true.Art is so highly subjective and this isn't Wonderland and you're not Alice.... A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like that!''I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my elbow.'On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!''You'd better not talk!'said Five. 'I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!''What for?' said the one who had spoken first.'That's none of your business, Two!' said Seven.'Yes, it is his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him...it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' Feed your head.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ditto to everything you just said.My ex would have liked to have had his cake and eaten it too.....but I told him to take his cake and shove it up his ass.I don't like sharing my toys and I don't like it when people take my toys without asking.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Tuscan..... none of what youve outlined is limited to the domain of the concubine. So where is the art in being JUST the mistress? (a la Shari Lee Hitchcock to Richard Pratt.....?) DG answer for myself every culture or individual has their own idea of a Mistress Look at history, there are some very famous Mistresses right up to Camilla Kings and Queens and politicians, to the guy that fixes my car each has their own set of circumstance Everything has its place in society and culture, depends what hill your standing on. There is a lot of artistic lovely works on the Mistress, its not all grubby especially in Japan. Western Culture is tied up to morality and sexuality, so naturally its skewered to women as property. Paying a dowry is not acceptable to us,but it is to other cultures and that’s into marriage. I think a Mistress is the pillow talk girl,where a guy gets it off his chest not just the sex. I single man can have a Mistress, its called FWB these days and some would find that very tacky. The modern Mistress is the plan B girl, you know boys the one you go around and knock on her window at two in the morning. The girl your fucking off RHP till some nice girl comes along you can take home to mother. I tend not to stand on the moral high ground when it comes to sex, I know its can crumble under my feet at any time and people that live there often get a nose bleed they are so high up.
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RHP User
13 years ago
It stopped being an art when men started feeling entitled and didn't bother making it worth anyone's while.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'caitsidhe312' A nice little love nest all expenses paid for Gold Jewellery, quality lingerie and high heels galore Overseas trips and weekends away 5 star room service, no work, just play To be at the beckon and call of a man who thinks you are worth this and more The life of a kept woman is very tempting for sure... Vs No presents or surprise gifts for being a bit on the side Always your place not his, curtains drawn and locked inside No time to share a meal, let's just fuck on the floor 20 minutes and it's over and he bolts out the door So, ladies...does it sound better to be a Millionaire's Mistress or would you rather be a poor man's whore? funny girl
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RHP User
13 years ago
maybe the OP might like to wade in here and elucidate.What exactly do you mean as ''the lost art of being a mistress''?I think we all have a slightly different view,and we can't assume that his wife doesn't know he is here looking ......she might have a profile here too,looking for a toy boy...who knows.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Freya13' maybe the OP might like to wade in here and elucidate.What exactly do you mean as ''the lost art of being a mistress''?I think we all have a slightly different view,and we can't assume that his wife doesn't know he is here looking ......she might have a profile here too,looking for a toy boy...who knows. The weekday meets and occasional weekend availability suggest a particular version to me, and traditionally, the mistress is the bit 'on the side', so I think it's a fair assumption unless stated otherwise. And the irony of being "treated like the only lady in town" is certainly not lost on me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
We have met and I like you. You are an intelligent and idealistic young man but I find many of your opinions naive and in need of the temperance gained through experience. Tuscan's situation is indeed unique but then, every situation is unique. You seem to making a judgement based on the assumption that every other situation falls into a given template. What makes you so sure that the wife left at home is the innocent party? How come you're so confident that she is worthy of your support when you know nothing about how she has alienated her husband? Calling a person a coward for having a different set of values to you is right out of a step by step handbook for arguing. If you can't attack their priorities, attack their ego. Please don't take this as support for terrorism but I always thought it was rediculous to call the attack on the World Trade Towers cowardly. It was reprehensible and sickening but definitely not cowardly. Those men, while deluded and vicious had a great deal of conviction in their beliefs. They were evil but they were not cowards. Many years ago, I had several mistresses in succession. According to you this makes me a coward and yet I have faced down armed men. I stood my ground against two men and their doberman and they backed down. I fought off five teenagers who thought their number meant they could put me down. Your insults don't have any effect on me or my confidence. In fact, I reckon it's cowardly to knuckle under and accept misery in a bad marriage rather than step out and have some fun regardless of the possible repercussions. It might be selfish but it's not cowardly. Telling people to honour their marital vows or leave rather than have a mistress is a contradiction as leaving your spouse is also breaking the vows (and it also inflicts as much pain as an affair, don't delude yourself on that). I'm no coward but I've had affairs. I didn't find what I needed in them so gave it away and returned to my marriage to raise my kids. Eventually, when they were older, I left the marriage on my own terms. I understand the turmoil a person's mind can go through when they are in a bad marriage. I know how easy it can become to give in to temptation and have an affair and I'm not about to pass judgement on another person for doing the same.
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Lifes_great
13 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' We have met and I like you. You are an intelligent and idealistic young man but I find many of your opinions naive and in need of the temperance gained through experience. Tuscan's situation is indeed unique but then, every situation is unique. You seem to making a judgement based on the assumption that every other situation falls into a given template. What makes you so sure that the wife left at home is the innocent party? How come you're so confident that she is worthy of your support when you know nothing about how she has alienated her husband? Calling a person a coward for having a different set of values to you is right out of a step by step handbook for arguing. If you can't attack their priorities, attack their ego. Please don't take this as support for terrorism but I always thought it was rediculous to call the attack on the World Trade Towers cowardly. It was reprehensible and sickening but definitely not cowardly. Those men, while deluded and vicious had a great deal of conviction in their beliefs. They were evil but they were not cowards. Many years ago, I had several mistresses in succession. According to you this makes me a coward and yet I have faced down armed men. I stood my ground against two men and their doberman and they backed down. I fought off five teenagers who thought their number meant they could put me down. Your insults don't have any effect on me or my confidence. In fact, I reckon it's cowardly to knuckle under and accept misery in a bad marriage rather than step out and have some fun regardless of the possible repercussions. It might be selfish but it's not cowardly. Telling people to honour their marital vows or leave rather than have a mistress is a contradiction as leaving your spouse is also breaking the vows (and it also inflicts as much pain as an affair, don't delude yourself on that). I'm no coward but I've had affairs. I didn't find what I needed in them so gave it away and returned to my marriage to raise my kids. Eventually, when they were older, I left the marriage on my own terms. I understand the turmoil a person's mind can go through when they are in a bad marriage. I know how easy it can become to give in to temptation and have an affair and I'm not about to pass judgement on another person for doing the same.Jensman, I've always enjoyed your posts and perspective......I admire your openess
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RHP User
13 years ago
...that's generous of you. Neptune, I've just been admonished (in a private message) for being too harsh with you. I hope you don't feel that way, it's not the first time we've disagreed. No hard feeling?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903'Many years ago, I had several mistresses in succession. According to you this makes me a coward and yet I have faced down armed men. I stood my ground against two men and their doberman and they backed down. I fought off five teenagers who thought their number meant they could put me down. Your insults don't have any effect on me or my confidence...In fact, I reckon it's cowardly to knuckle under and accept misery in a bad marriage rather than step out and have some fun regardless of the possible repercussions. It might be selfish but it's not cowardly...I understand the turmoil a person's mind can go through when they are in a bad marriage. I know how easy it can become to give in to temptation and have an affair and I'm not about to pass judgement on another person for doing the same.First of all, I'm not setting out to insult you personally. I agree with some of what you're saying about cowardice - I don't think the concept of cowardice applies to the WTC either. But being brave and being cowardly are not an either/or mutually exclusive deal. You can be brave in battle but cowardly when it comes to your feelings. You can run away from your responsibilities at home but still stand up to your boss when you know he or she is in the wrong or go into bat for a mate. Calling someone a coward doesn't mean they're a coward in all situations. Nor does the inverse apply with brave. Just because you were brave in physical situations doesn't mean you can't have been cowardly in other areas of your life. I agree with you, I also think it's cowardly to knuckle down and live in misery in a bad marriage. Personally, I'm no fan of marriage anyway. Yet, AS A GENERAL RULE, I think it's selfish AND cowardly to cheat. Of course, I'm not naive enough, though you may believe otherwise, to think it's a black and white situation; there are complexities, and it's not just 'men are bad', and there are reasons and yadayadayada. Sure. I accept that. You'll actually notice I tried to skirt around the topic of cheating, because that's not what this is about. I've personally found threads on cheaters here enlightening, and have softened my views as a result of them. The problem I have with this thread is it's not a discussion on the morality of cheating - or a discussion of how marriages and relationships are complicated, that they sometimes collapse, that there are many factors contributing to a breakdown etc. It's a celebration of the mistress business - I find it to be a childish, insensitive celebration of what I don't think should be a source of pride. When you had your mistresses when your first marriage broke down, did you go bragging to your mates about it? Did you feel superior for it? Was the collapse of your marriage something you found to be a source of celebration? Who knows? Maybe the OP's wife has been cheating on him? Maybe she's a horrible shrew who belittles him and makes him feel worthless, while refusing to get a job and complaining that he doesn't earn enough? Or maybe he's just a jerk who can't keep his dick in his pants? I can't know for certain, but I certainly know the impression I get from the 'cheeky fun' of this thread. The attempt to glorify mistresses I find disgusting. To say nothing, from my position as a strongly identifying feminist, of the historical inequalities in marriage and the past ideals of the 'mistress'. But hey. I can accept that others don't feel as strongly about it as me, and in fact, like you, might strongly disagree. That's fine. I welcome discussion and debate, and realise we'll probably have to agree to disagree. Just don't ask me to take this outside. I'm an absolute coward when it comes to fisticuffs.
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RHP User
13 years ago
My responses are addressing the subtext more than the text, but they're still attempting to respond to the original post. No, I don't think the mistress is an art-form these days. But then, I don't think it ever was.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well Said! Quoting 'jensman1903' We have met and I like you. You are an intelligent and idealistic young man but I find many of your opinions naive and in need of the temperance gained through experience. Tuscan's situation is indeed unique but then, every situation is unique. You seem to making a judgement based on the assumption that every other situation falls into a given template. What makes you so sure that the wife left at home is the innocent party? How come you're so confident that she is worthy of your support when you know nothing about how she has alienated her husband? Calling a person a coward for having a different set of values to you is right out of a step by step handbook for arguing. If you can't attack their priorities, attack their ego. Please don't take this as support for terrorism but I always thought it was rediculous to call the attack on the World Trade Towers cowardly. It was reprehensible and sickening but definitely not cowardly. Those men, while deluded and vicious had a great deal of conviction in their beliefs. They were evil but they were not cowards. Many years ago, I had several mistresses in succession. According to you this makes me a coward and yet I have faced down armed men. I stood my ground against two men and their doberman and they backed down. I fought off five teenagers who thought their number meant they could put me down. Your insults don't have any effect on me or my confidence. In fact, I reckon it's cowardly to knuckle under and accept misery in a bad marriage rather than step out and have some fun regardless of the possible repercussions. It might be selfish but it's not cowardly. Telling people to honour their marital vows or leave rather than have a mistress is a contradiction as leaving your spouse is also breaking the vows (and it also inflicts as much pain as an affair, don't delude yourself on that). I'm no coward but I've had affairs. I didn't find what I needed in them so gave it away and returned to my marriage to raise my kids. Eventually, when they were older, I left the marriage on my own terms. I understand the turmoil a person's mind can go through when they are in a bad marriage. I know how easy it can become to give in to temptation and have an affair and I'm not about to pass judgement on another person for doing the same. I don't pass judgement, sometimes an affair can save a marriage, sometimes it takes three to make a marriage work. The reasons for affairs are many and varied - and some are very valid. I wish life were truly so black and white and that i could be comfortable with sweeeping statements like "It's degrading for the husband, who's too much of a coward to either stick to his vows, leave his partner, or ask for change. " Unfortunately, i've lived enough years to know, rarely is life so cut and dried. I would always encourage a married couple to work through their problems....sometimes for a variety of reasons that just doesn't work..... I guess i'm just not that idealistic....anymore.......
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'neptune_drift'A 'mistress' is a euphemism for 'unpaid hooker to cheat with'. Maybe try spend that time and money repairing your relationship instead, or grow up and deal with your problems like an adult. However, I thought the OP was referring to hookers?A friend of mine is a hooker. She only has a couple of clients (who provide for her very well). Now, she is definitely what I would call a Mistress as I think the Op means it. When they are together she's the ultimate girlfriend, when they're not together there is nothing. This I feel is a really honest and upfront transaction. Trips away, home appliances bought, 5-star hotels, perfume, lingerie, jewellery and other gifts.Hell, even the posters on this thread equate the mistress thing with the fine dining, and expensive hotels and gifts etc. It's all prostitution and it's available if you want (to pay for) it and I don't think there's anything wrong with prostitution when both parties are aware it is a transaction on what their respective parts shall be.Or maybe the Op is just looking for someone to put him over her knee and spank his arse???
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RHP User
13 years ago
The mistress in many a mans life had a place in history Depends who your lover is, and your elevated or if its Joe blow then your a hooker What about those women In war time? Some of those women risk their lives to get the pillow talk from those guys. Do people cheat when they are in a war zone? England during the bombing when you could be dead at any time? Life Death Sex :) you know what I mean Freeya If you have a linear perspective in life, then there are no shades of grey and without shades of grey a picture has no depth to it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
And two, three, four hundred years ago, a mistress was all of these things and more....as Freya described, how gorgeous it would have been to a lady of leisure all those years ago.. a mistress ruled , was adored and feared... 2013 - reality check - their life is all that Neptune says and more - their life is one of lies and loneliness and a life half put on hold........7 billion people in the world and you chose to spend it as someone elses after thought - a bit on the side...you get to chew the bone when and if its ever thrown to you - sure this may make you happy - who am I to judge...? but is that how little you value yourself ? Seriously - if he likes/loves you - he would have put a ring on it... Two weeks before my ex married he came to me and made me an offer - be my mistress - I said to him..so you want it all.? .he said yes...I politely declined his offer..............once he had my heart and he knew it..but now he can (when and if he ever thinks of me) , sift thru the memories of us, as I do and wonder....... that is all he will ever have of me now "Your wife I cannot be, your mistress I wil not be"
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well all I can say on this matter is as soon as I find out a guys in a relationship Im not interested as the reason I'm on here in the first place is because my ex cheated on me And before you ask yes I was there for his every beck and call and I'm a very affectionate women so I still ask why But there seems to be a lot of cheating men and women around who if unhappy or un satisfied at home should just leave then go for gold but what pisses me off more is when kids are involved so basically if your on here for a bit on the side don't look me up please as I'm not interested And bear in mind the hurt you will create when your partner finds out And it's not a lost art there's nothing glamorous about hurting people
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On_Safari
13 years ago
Men are secretly drawn to wanton and adventurous women who make them feel alive and challenged.They want to chase after a goddess and see if they can win and also keep her. Witty,intelligent,vibrant and fiercely independent. Mistresses were well versed in the art of seduction. Relying on courage,ambition and opportunism,they use their sexuality to procure power and great wealth in a world were men held all the cards. And I might add still do to a degree. Not all mistresses prefer to stay in the background and anonymity. Although the whispered words in-between lovemaking in the bedroom or boudoir should not be underestimated, some mistresses not only had great influence on the men in their lives but because of their romantic dalliances have also affected the lives of entire nations. The poems I have written and included tells in verse what some lovers of these mistresses of the art of seduction must have felt and gone through.:) The attraction begins with a certain allure,the courtship of the eyes...her body language,manner of speech,charisma......The ultimate seductress, mistress, concubine, coquet....my case in point: CLEOPATRA (69-30 BC) Beautiful and charismatic queen of Egypt; mistress of Julius Caesar and later of Mark Antony; killed herself to avoid capture by Octavian How did Cleopatra seduce Julius Caesar,a jaded man who could have his choice of any woman or man? According to the Greek biographer Plutarch, Cleopatra was not really beautiful.But she was a brilliant woman.It is said that the 18 year old Cleopatra was happiest in a library. From the moment she rolled out of the rug in the presence of Caesar she was able to enthrall him with her magnificent erudition. Conversing in perfect Latin then Greek, she carried on a stream of delightful conversation telling him jokes and stories. Caesar who had never encountered a woman like her was so charmed he made Cleopatra his mistress that very night (cleo aged 21 and Caesar aged 52, woot wooo for the sexy older man!!!). Not too long after Ceasar's death she seduced Marc Anthony the next Roman Emporer and a toyboy being a decade or so younger. No Drift we aren't Cleopatra, but the mistresses of old do inspire the more carnal of our desires. I have been called a coquette, something I much prefer over mistress. Jensman, thank you for such a wonderful, guileless response. Respectfully Safari.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari' Men are secretly drawn to wanton and adventurous women who make them feel alive and challenged.They want to chase after a goddess and see if they can win and also keep her. Witty,intelligent,vibrant and fiercely independent. Mistresses were well versed in the art of seduction... The attraction begins with a certain allure,the courtship of the eyes...her body language,manner of speech,charisma......Not too long after Ceasar's death she seduced Marc Anthony the next Roman Emporer and a toyboy being a decade or so younger. No Drift we aren't Cleopatra, but the mistresses of old do inspire the more carnal of our desires. I have been called a coquette, something I much prefer over mistress. Jensman, thank you for such a wonderful, guileless response. Respectfully Safari. I should say, first up, that though it probably looks like I'm having a whinge and I've got these oblivious idealistic blinkers on I'm actually really enjoying the rigorous debate in this thread, so thanks everybody.On_Safari, I sure do want a wanton and adventurous woman who makes me feel alive and challenged, who's witty, intelligent, vibrant and fiercely independent. You've just described my dream woman! But I don't want to have to hide her from my wife.I find it a bit ironic that you'd quote Laurel Thatcher Ulritch, as I understand her thesis to be virtually the opposite of what you're arguing - as a feminist historian, Ulritch is critical of conventional masculine history (the 'great man of history' approach,) and instead draws attention to the every day and the mundane, the forgotten histories and experiences of women in particular. When she first coined that phrase, it was as a criticism, and she then embraced its zeitgeisty zest to write about women who challenged how history was written.The larger than life pop-culture image of the courtesan, the geisha, the concubine, the mistress etc. is all very romantic and all, but a bit of a Disney fantasy that masks a much more sad and brutal reality in which women were typically viewed as property, had no rights, no power, and very few options. And from Cleopatra to Anne Boleyn to Marilyn Monroe right down the chain, they typically didn't end well.To say nothing of the consequences of a married woman and her male lover being discovered.I don't think it's a good idea to conflate the art of seduction with being a mistress. That they overlapped out of necessity in the past because of an oppressive patriarchal view of women's position in society is a tragic reflection on history, not something I find the subject of wistful romanticising. I think I'd be a bit more comfortable here if people acknowledged 'the mistress' was only ever really a fantasy, and the reality is a lot darker and sadder. Or, as DG said a while ago, that these days you don't have to be somebody's bit on the side to be a seductress. Why would we want to go back to that?!And Marc Antony wasn't the next Roman emperor. That would be Augustus (Octavius), Antony's competition.Ps. I really like your writing style!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred' Life Death Sex :) you know what I mean Freeya If you have a linear perspective in life, then there are no shades of grey and without shades of grey a picture has no depth to it. Tell that to the cubists.
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RHP User
13 years ago
life isnt a cheap b grade hollywood movie. being someones retained 'bit on the side' might appeal to some, but the reality of it is entrenched in fantasy, deception, and even loneliness......... why would anyone, for any reason, choose to be a 'second stringer'? oh thats right....its 'noble'? no...its not......a courtesan is a retained prostitute....a 'mistress' is a polite (lol) way of saying the same thing....its not just 'infidelity'....its infidelity.....with personal profit.....
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have the right to with my body what the hell I want to. I tire of the laws of marriage, of you must only have one person I am sixty I have been around the block a few times, and marriage is not all its cracked up to be live in missery if you want manogomy , if thats what floats your boat. one person cannot fill all your needs all your life. Thats a big ask from another person and selfish I think. My husband can have other women, he does not want to but its there if he does. Thats how much I love him and he loves me. so I am the Mistress, the whore, the wife, the mother the daughter :) and no man or woman on the plannet will ever make me feel less a woman if I choose to fuck a married man.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Drift.Some would argue that as a man it is an imposibility for you to call yourself one or to identify as one.I don't ,but I do think that how we are socialized,our life experiences as women are totally different to a man's.How women are perceived if they choose to be socialsexual is more often than not in the negative. The use of sexual capital by women is as old as time,perhaps our paleolithic sisters insisted on the missionary position to engage with their men,so that they could create a bond. The position of mistress throughout history has been viewed somewhat differently as it is today that is true.Your position Drift is one that is based on a Judeo Christian view it seems to me,not from a feminist perspective. The Ancient Greeks celebrated the hetairi,courtesans who were highly educated and provided companship to Athenian men.Wives had a different position and were not provided with the same educational opportunities. The hetairi were accomplished musicians.often quite rich,were artistic and had intellectual training.Many were very beautiful but they were more admired for their intelligence than their beauty. Some famous courtesans throughout history such as Madame Pompadour the mistress of Louis xv of France held an official position,maitresse-en-titre.Even after their relationship was no longer sexual she remained a great friend of the King and was very influential in the politics of France.She truly became an example of rising above the traditions of women. Servilia Caeponis was the mistress of Julius Caesar,an older woman and also ironically the mother of Brutus. Other famous mistresses include,Anne Boleyn,Cleopatra,Marie Walewski...Napoleon's mistress and today Camilla Parker Bowles,in line to become Queen. Sometimes women who have been open about their sexuality and have led lives based on using their sexual caplital to earn a living,have been severely punished,Mata Hari for instance. She travelled Europe entertaining men as an exotic dancer and collecting many wealthy and influential lovers along the way who paid for her extravagant lifestyle.She was executed as a traitor by the French during the second world war.It was proved later that she had been wrongly accused and it was the French spy master who was the traitor.Mata Hari was executed because she was viewed as a woman of ill repute,an openly socialsexual woman.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I've never taken offence at your opinions even though we rarely see things the same way. It just surprises me that you take such a blanket view of things. I expect that from people with less intelligence but not from you. I've known a great many people who have had extra marital affairs and I've never known of cowardice to be a contributing factor in any of them. I knew a boxer who had a mistress. He told his wife straight out that she wasn't enough for him in the sack and went out and got his bit on the side. Hehehe, she wound up being one of my playmates and really came out of her shell.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Tuscanred has a great opinion of this role. I agree with her in full, but would also add the following comments which are slightly outside the traditional mistress role: Both men and woman work in today's society and having a traditional full time mistress is very hard to maintain, however having a relationship outside of your main relationship is exactly that of a mistress. I had one for many years we both spent nights in hotels, and we took trips away together me for business her for what ever reason she needed. We bought each other presents, cooked for each other and had nights of unbridled passion. We both worked in successfully careers and we both paid for things, we were both in relationships so we were each others mistress and male equivilent. We are still great friends...but not in this capacity. I believe that sometimes these things happen and these roles are essential.
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On_Safari
13 years ago
My hlast history lesson was about 25 yrs ago....happy to be corrected. But Drift you are an anomaly, you enjoy MFM's does that not mean that you're playing with another man's interest? Doesn't that also kinda make you a gigolo (male mistress!!) ? Lmao sry
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think the word is lovers
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RHP User
13 years ago
That one cannot show one's face in any of the best clubs without having an appropriately inappropriate mistress?We have discussed it as a couple and Mrs C has agreed that the moment we become billionaires there will be a mistress. One cannot risk being ostracised from one's peers. In order to maintain face with the ladies she will of course be shagging the gardener and pool boy while I am out of town on business.PS. I'm bored in an airline lounge and the above was quite entertaining.thanksMr C
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari'But Drift you are an anomaly, you enjoy MFM's does that not mean that you're playing with another man's interest? Doesn't that also kinda make you a gigolo (male mistress!!) ? Lmao sry I challenge you to find anywhere on this site in my 3+ years of membership where I've criticised polygamy or argued for monogamy. It's the deception and lack of mutual consent that I have a problem with.I assure you, it's very difficult to engage in an MFM without the male partner's knowledge or consent. I mean, sure you can play behind his back, but once he rolls over you're done for!And Jensman, so you expect my 'blanket view of things' from the unintelligent? Were you not just lecturing me less than 10 posts ago about fallacious arguments and playing the player instead of the ball?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'caitsidhe312' A nice little love nest all expenses paid for Gold Jewellery, quality lingerie and high heels galore Overseas trips and weekends away 5 star room service, no work, just play To be at the beckon and call of a man who thinks you are worth this and more The life of a kept woman is very tempting for sure... Vs No presents or surprise gifts for being a bit on the side Always your place not his, curtains drawn and locked inside No time to share a meal, let's just fuck on the floor 20 minutes and it's over and he bolts out the door So, ladies...does it sound better to be a Millionaire's Mistress or would you rather be a poor man's whore?
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RHP User
13 years ago
My opinion is that it's not our place to judge. Ofcourse we always do, it's human nature but why judge before you have all the facts. I don't deny that there are many people who betray a loyal and loving partner and I can't junderstand why but in my experience, more often than not, this is not the case. An affair is usually a symptom of a bad marriage, not the cause.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Back in the day, as both Freya and Tuscan have said, it was a socially acceptable thing and the wives knew about mistresses. When you think about it the higher up your family was back then, for a bloke you had limited choice on who you could marry, sometimes it was chosen for you, it was mainly for political gain or bring more money into the family depending on what the dowry was. There was none of this love stuff, so I guess it was natural back then to look for "love and affection" elsewhere, a very famous example was King Henry VIII and his first marriage to Catherine of Aragon. They had no choice but to marry purely so the Tudors could keep all of Catherine's dowry or her and all the money would have gone back to spain. Men were shoving there daughters and wives in front of Henry VIII hoping he would take them as his mistress all for politcal gain and a chance to be closer to the king, the most famous daughter that was successful with this was Anne Boelyn. The only thing that wasnt socially acceptable was a woman in a relationship taking on a lover, if she did it had to be very discrete. Times have changed though, you would probably still find in some cultures it is an acceptable thing for a married man to have a mistress. But to me it brings up the whole monogamy argument which is another topic that could be argued forever.
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On_Safari
13 years ago
Lol but everything I do is consensual. Like that you find my writing style ok and in turn I quite like yours. Great profile pic too.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'd like to hear more from the OP and exactly what he means by mistress (first thing that popped into my mind was BDSM, but that didn't make sense) but the idea of seeing someone in an extramarital affair is alien to me. Saying that, marriage is also not for me, and like the concept of "mistress" its historical roots are misogynistic.Historically, to be a mistress is to be emotionally isolated and dominated (you're at the beck and call of one man, and no matter how pretty it looks it is still a cage). Your sex life is scheduled to his free time, and he or his wife (unknowingly) can change it at the last minute without notice. You can't be seen with him in public, he can come and go as he wants (3am booty call, woooo!), and when he does he'll want sex. You might be adored, but it's not likely for your mind or personality, and if he gets bored he'll cut you loose. Does it still sound like a desirable lifestyle?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'GMerst25'I'd like to hear more from the OP and exactly what he means by mistress (first thing that popped into my mind was BDSM, but that didn't make sense) but the idea of seeing someone in an extramarital affair is alien to me. Saying that, marriage is also not for me, and like the concept of "mistress" its historical roots are misogynistic.Historically, to be a mistress is to be emotionally isolated and dominated (you're at the beck and call of one man, and no matter how pretty it looks it is still a cage). Your sex life is scheduled to his free time, and he or his wife (unknowingly) can change it at the last minute without notice. You can't be seen with him in public, he can come and go as he wants (3am booty call, woooo!), and when he does he'll want sex. You might be adored, but it's not likely for your mind or personality, and if he gets bored he'll cut you loose. Does it still sound like a desirable lifestyle?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'neptune_drift' Quoting 'tuscanred' Life Death Sex :) you know what I mean Freeya If you have a linear perspective in life, then there are no shades of grey and without shades of grey a picture has no depth to it. Tell that to the cubists. I should get cut your braces for that one, but then you have that belt as well thats a worry
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903'My opinion is that it's not our place to judge. Ofcourse we always do, it's human nature but why judge before you have all the facts. I don't deny that there are many people who betray a loyal and loving partner and I can't junderstand why but in my experience, more often than not, this is not the case. An affair is usually a symptom of a bad marriage, not the cause. I feel this thread has gone in two directions here. I, like Neptune stated, have gained at lot more understanding of the various reasons people cheat through reading these forums. I have learned there are always two sides to every story and it is no one's place to cast judgement. However, the OP's personal question wasn't about the right or wrong of having an affair, it was about the art of it. And to that I can only say
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cbdlivin
13 years ago
After reading some of the comments in here Tuscan has a good understanding of the art. I do believe it is a lost art, amongst the young as they think of it as FWB's or similar. I can only speak from my own experiences which have been interesting. The idea of it being negative for the wife or mistress is really a point of view that depends on the situation. What is the negative when the wife encourages the mistress and the mistress has no interest in being a wife but likes what she gets out of the relationship.A mistress to me is not someone who is just providing sex, there are cheaper ways to get sex if that is what you are looking for. You have an emotional and financial commitment to a mistress as you do for a wife, just in different ways. Good conversation and good company with a mistress is what I had, an intellectual equal who had a demanding job and liked her freedom of being a mistress.Though not something I would be looking for now, it was a number of years ago when I had one and it was fun when it was needed, but I see woman now who say they want to be a mistress and they see it purely in a FWB context or financial one.B
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