The etiquette of being stood up?

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Bites the big one Rusty, sorry to hear . . I have no idea from my end, it hasnt happened yet. But I'd imagine I would probably wait just under an hour, and then look to make the night not a complete waste of time. I've heard others speak of keeping a backup or a plan B for such occasions but cant imagine myself being bothered lol. Being a woman (hehe) I'd want to be given a damn good explanation as to why, and then block them. Time for play is hard to organise and an apology at least isn't much to ask for, imagine having bought a new dress for the occasion (not saying you did ;) that would make me a little miffed .

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Hey Rusty, That is just plain rude to be honest. I think waiting 30 minutes is fair but no longer... I mean lets face it she could have sent you a text or called or something. Once you have waited your 30 minutes well everyone else is just fair game... assuming you are not talking about your girlfriend or wife being late?? hahaI say hit on the waitress and bartender and suggest a threesome on the pool table. As for giving them another chance, well that all depends on their reason for not turning up and how much you like them. If you are really keen then maybe give them one more chance otherwise I say forget it .... NEXT!xxMeeka.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'Meeka100' Hey Rusty, That is just plain rude to be honest. I think waiting 30 minutes is fair but no longer... I mean lets face it she could have sent you a text or called or something. Once you have waited your 30 minutes well everyone else is just fair game... assuming you are not talking about your girlfriend or wife being late?? hahaI say hit on the waitress and bartender and suggest a threesome on the pool table. As for giving them another chance, well that all depends on their reason for not turning up and how much you like them. If you are really keen then maybe give them one more chance otherwise I say forget it .... NEXT!xxMeeka. For example... I had arranged, not so long ago, to meet a guy off here for coffee in the city centre at 2030 on a weeknight. Now, on the day that we agreed to a place and time, this seemed reasonable. On the day in question... well... I had a shit day at work, was left with a pounding headache and a grumpyass attitude, and at 1830 was sitting in my own damn house glaring at my bourbon and questioning my sanity.I still went and I'm glad I did! My mood improved immeasurably and I wasn't left feeling like a two-faced bitch I'm with Meeks on acceptable time-frame. Really, with today's tech, there is no excuse. And... well, you're there, you're hunting, and your prey escaped. Damn straight the predator would be evaluating the other potential victims in the immediate vicinity...

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Rusty I had the same thing happen a few weeks ago. I gave them 30 mins and then decided that the time was mine to play.   As for trying again with the same person....why bother? They haven't shown you any manners by getting a message to you in some format so why should you put yourself out there for them to do it again? Repeat after me...."Next!"

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I had organised to meet someone at a particular time, I was early so stopped to get fuel. Damn the car wouldn't start. Phoned my date and explained that I would be late. We discussed whether to stay or go. He decided to wait for me, Auto Club came sold me a new battery and I met my date 30 minutes later. He called me back and offered to pick me up if I couldnt make it. Its called common curtesy and doesnt cost anything. I think you should be going NEXT please.!

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I try and text when I'm running late... although this one time in band camp.. I was having such a beautiful ride on my bike that I went through the Nasho instead of down the expressway and I completely lost track of time.. you know that beautiful spring weather... no breeze, just you, the nasho and a throbbing machine between your legs sliding the corners like you're skiing in snow... pull up for an icecream .... look out to sea.. check out that bridge.... soak up some sun.... back on the bike... Holy shit.. is it that time? Damn.... knock on the door apologise profusely... 2 hours late? Down on your knees like a dog.... I'll try and make it up to you......This other time.. or maybe it was the same time... I arrived 35 minutes away at the completely wrong venue... again absent minded bike riding.Usually I try and text.HugsS

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  2 hours late Stalkers ! Was it really? I am sure you made it up to them ... I can just picture it, you naked within 5 minutes of walking in the house down on your knees....

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I'd have my whip out and at the ready for when you did turn up..better late than never..lmao30 mins and no more...But then i have to agree with meeka. The first no show i had...didn't even txt. i then gave this person a second chance..so the second time we were to meet. he did txt that he had to cancel..But we did get to meet..and do it..lol... Then when another guy did a no show....it was next..heymumma

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  this is really poor form and you hear about it alot!!we have never been stood up BUT my opion is 30 mins with out a call or txt or any thing and i am outta there!!! in fact after 15 mins i would try to txt or call just to make sure they were ok and didnt have a reasonable excuse but if it gets to the 30 min or they dont respond when we try to contact them we would move on, after all it is easy as a couple we have eachother so no big deal if another couple or 'playfriend' doesnt show up, if we have gone to the trouble to get dressed up and offoad the kids for the night we dont want to waste hours waiting for a 'no show' we are going to hit the town and have a great night.I personally wouldnt be giving them a second chance unless they had called or contacted us to explain on the night.I think it shows lack of self respect to let someone treat you so badly and then allow them the chance to do it again but that is just my point of view.Mrs

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  It's happened to me once. Due to meet a couple in a bar in Auckland while I was on a business trip, I was told she would be wearing a white dress and no knickers. After an hour of chatting to all the ladies in white dresses I couldn't work out who I was supposed to meet and they never made it clear (if they were even there), so I hooked up with one of the lovelies in the bar...I'd say 30mins to an hour is an acceptable waiting period, depending on how hot they are..

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  A 20-30 Minute tolerance is all i have for ignorance. If i was stood up I,d eat up a feed and enjoy a glass of wine,fake allergies,or food poisoning,then make a miraculous recovery,then send bill to booked name. Pay,s to research.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  We were supposed to meet a couple for a coffee after finding a baby sitter and changing our day around to suit them they never showed ,we waited for an hour and a half and texed a few times before leaving then the next day they wanted to make another date because they wernt in the right frame of mind the day before the next time

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  My question to the sages of RHP is, What is the etiquette of being stood up? How long should one wait before conceding defeat? If they haven't called 1/2 an hour after the agreed meeting, it's not looking good I would say. Is it 30 minutes? An hour? Is it okay to hit on the bartender/waitress? Yes!!!! Yes! and HELL YES! Are the other obviously single females in the venue fair game? See answer above Should you remonstrate with the other person? Give them another chance? Personally, there is no good reason for not at least calling with a good excuse (aside from extreme illness or tragedy) Up to you, i wouldn't . How have you handled it? Allowed myself 10 mins of bitching and moaning and moved on. NEXT!! What have you done after being stood up? Partied with the people who did bother to show, had a blast .

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Yes it has happened to us a few times , however just two weeks ago , we had arranged to meet a couple , and we went to the wrong cafe , waited a 1/2 hour , thinking they were no shows , as it turned out it was our fault , the next day contacted the other couple , first thinking they were the no shows.   The other couple said they were waiting for us at Cafe X - the right place , but it was us or me who had got things wrong , said sorry , but they were upset , which we perfectly understand , and dont believe us . We feel bad about the whole experience.   So when it does happen all you can do is say sorry and move on , and make sure you get the address right and be in a position to make a phone call to confirm

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'Meeka100'I say hit on the waitress and bartender and suggest a threesome on the pool table. Sounds like a good night out. Stroking the stick and sinking into a padded and lined hole. .I'm an optimist so I gave them an hour before giving up and mingling with the crowd.Although the second 30 minutes was my bitching and moaning period before finally realising there was nothing to be gained from it. Apart from that disappointment the night ended up being an okay one. .Being an optimist I'm also willing to give them another chance, if they want it, as I realise that all manner of things can happen to disrupt plans. I do however like an explanation or an apology and find it hard when others don't bother. Wouldn't they hate it if it happened to them? .Thanks for the replies and affirmation folks. Now. NEXT!! .Cheers..Rusty

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I had one time when I was chatting to a couple through RHP around lunchtime on a Saturday. All seemed in order and we arranged to meet at the nearby RSL in half an hour just to meet, greet and see how we felt. I waited for a little over an hour and a half. yup - no show.   When I got back home, I logged back in and found that 'they' (if they really were 'they') were still on RHP. I tried to get in touch to seeif everything was OK. I got no response to my chat prompt but soon found that I'd been blocked. I came across 'them' a week or more later using a new ID - and another ID some time after that.   So, I don't know if there really was such a coiuple or whether it was just another waster getting whatever jollies s/he might have got from it.   But I did learn something - the RSL made a great cappucino. I had two mugs in the time I waited. I also dropped a couple of dollars into the pokies before I left and pulled a return that kept me in coffee (and more) for quite a while - lol.

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