M41
The Y/N to help cheat...:(
February 20 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think it's a cold person who feels no guilt, whether it comes naturally or they force themselves to ignore it. I know I was in that position once as the 'accomplice' - I felt horrible after and swore I wouldn't do it again.I can almost understand those that would cheat more than I can understand those that would be the person they're cheating with. People do have their reasons though, and they are varied. Some people feel the cheated on partner might 'deserve it', or it's at the very least complicated. There's some sort of moral evaluation there, so I can appreciate that even if I don't agree with it. I've read others who say the person is going to cheat anyway, if not with them then with someone else, so what difference does it make? That I find a bullshit attempt at absolving themselves of responsibility, which is just a way of avoiding the harm that they're causing.
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RHP User
13 years ago
to the forums primal.Yes many people here including myself are quite shocking.But everyone has their reasons.There have indeed been many threads here on this topic,and many people would agree with you.
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RHP User
13 years ago
My body .. my choice! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Circumstances are different for us all and sometimes compassion may be viewed as considering the 'cheating' party. I am not offering excuses, simply the idea that things are often not as simple as they seemPeachyDares
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RHP User
13 years ago
Some of course just look at things simply with no consideration aside from themselves. PeachyDares
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RHP User
13 years ago
People ripping into a man on RHP becuae he posted that his missus was pregnant.Yeah, lots of ways of looking at things. PeachyDares Hugs
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RHP User
13 years ago
you need to put up a black and white picture of yourself life is not so simple, espcially with humans I have compassion. that is why i fuck married men
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RHP User
13 years ago
man, I would have to post about 4 or five pages if I was to explain every complex reason for why I would go there, but I'll refrain and just say that there are a plethora of reasons why people look for something outside their "prime" relationship and my understanding of that allows me to justify my actions. And any judgement from outside just slides like water off a ducks back.
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RHP User
13 years ago
...you can't break up a happy marriage. If a person strays, it's a pretty good sign that there is something wrong in the relationship. People often focus on the "cheating" and cite this as the reason for the relationship failing because they either can't accept the real cause for the failure or they are trying to divert attention from it thus avoiding their own responsibility for it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
We are compassionate too..... My wife knows how it felt to discover her own partners 'indiscretions' and she never wants to be the one to do that to another woman.....and I know how I felt when I was told of my own partners betrayals....and I cant be the one to destroy another man the way it destroyed me....so we refuse to play with married or attached men or women....on the sly.....and our life us far from being 'black and white'- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Who are we to judge what is right and wrong? I have never known anyone who is truly happy with their life to cheat on a partner. Yes there are those who say "get out of the relationship then", but it is not always so cut and dried.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes it's all good and well to my body my choice and oh but the circumstances and it is not all black and white I know this and pretty much it's all pretty half arsed excuses instead of reasons. Tuscan you will have a wife come for you one day and deserved I would say. What happened to treat others how you wish to be treated? I'm sure if you were the clueless partner you would think differently... Or you have been scalded maybe and seek to destroy others. I only sleep with Singles or open relationship couples. The answers do make me see something's in a different light and its not very bright.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
It is women who like married men that left me and my brother to be raised by a single mother. With a pretty shit relationship with our father even though for many years we had no clue as to why they split. This is what fuels my fire to hate cheaters and cheater enablers.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
I believe age and life experience is teaching us a difference in seeing it black and white as Tuscan said. When we are young we all believe in Fairytale then real life hits us and all the knights in shining armour are just ordinary man and all the princesses are just women. We all have our ups and downs and the castle becomes a little house and the shiny things are not out of gold. But some couples stick together because out of financial or even emotional reasons and it is not my place to judge anyone. No one walks in someone pair of shoes so no one should judge another. Should someone cheat, as we use this word cheating, then he/ she has to live with it. I for myself say this. I am on this site to find my lovers, the lovers I prefer, the lover who compliment me on this sexual journey and when someone cheats on his wife I don't want to know....I just like to be with this person in a beautiful dance for this particular time. I want to enjoy it without any mean or nasty thoughts, I want to be in this moment of bliss without having to think what is tomorrow, I am not forming a relationship with this male, a friendship maybe down the track, but that's later much later, and after many encounters. I am in the NOW, and there is nothing else. When the male comes to my house I will love him when he goes I will stop. So who is out there who says this is wrong.....and why is it wrong......I do no harm......I love......so why is it I can't do that......who makes the rules in life? We all do something wrong on RHP when you look at the standard of sexual behavior in our society.....we all are bad dirty people on here...... I am saying this in a sarcastic way.......we are not living the norm sexual on here.....we are not doing what the good neighbors do.....we defy church rules, we defy sexual rules.......again look at it.....who makes this rules......who says we can or cant do and live how we choose to live???? When someone has the need to cheat he cheats. He will not cheat with me, because I don't form a relationship with him. I am writing it again…everybody who has a moral judgement to make and is on RHP should cancel their membership and go on RSVP and not on dating site which promotes SEX wonderful SEX. Wow my friends I have really had to say a lot this morning, hope you all are happy to be here, I for myself I am. I med some wonderful males and some are married……so now I am a bad, bad woman because I know they are. LITONYA
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RHP User
13 years ago
I suppose.... if you're prepared to go behind someones back....... and you're not challenged if others go behind yours......... is the ledger considered even?!Personally..... I believe there are too many beautiful, intelligent, high value single women out there, rather than to contemplate those in a relationship.DG
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RHP User
13 years ago
It all comes down to peoples standard of morals. I personally wouldn't do it because the guilt would play on my mind to much but hey i guess everyone is different.
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RHP User
13 years ago
We'd never play with someone behind someone else's back. But I can understand why some people would stray. Some people do end up with clearly the wrong person. He/she may be a complete bastard or biatch, or they could be in a loveless marriage, or they could simply have vastly different sex drives and unhappy with what they're getting at home. There are many reasons why people cheat and that's many reasons why we would steer well clear of all that drama! Also doesn't sit ethically with us.
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RHP User
13 years ago
About 7 years ago I was in a sexless relationship that had gradually got worse over time.I didn't know anything different and at the time was feeling really down on myself.I joined this site(different user name different state) and met a couple of lovely ladies who not only helped me sexually but also helped me regain my confidence in myself.Anyway through this I was able to realise that I had to end the relationship.Prior to joining this site I had blamed myself for her not wanting to have sex with me.This is why you can't put everyone in the same category.We do not know what is going on in their private life.Yes some peoples motives maybe wrong others maybe not who are we to judge
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
People in glass houses should never throw stones!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Fully agree Saskia, tuscanred and xFunlovingx.Definitely not here to be judged, but it happens so often, it's disheartening, but, seriously, "people ion glass houses ..."I have my story, I am here to explore my sexual side, which has been denied for a handful of years now.I love and respect my wife - I miss, terribly, the everyday intimacies .I have met some incredible people, and have enjoyed many hot, sexy, erotic, happy email-chat-text-pic-cam exchanges. Learnt a great deal about myself, and others. Raises a lot o questions too, for me, as well as ache to explore for real, skin on skin.Not taken the next step of the physical, with someone other then my wife.Not closed to that possibility, but ...My wife tells me of so many situations of her peers: loveless marriages, where one partner barely tolerates the other, where love has died, where there has been cheating and hopes and dreams of being with someone outside of their marriage. I can only think of one truly happy marriage in our immediate "group" of say a dozen couples. There have also been so many separations, divorces and splits of so many incredible women that we know, and one friend who has been divorced for over 20 years and never been with another man in all that time ... she is shit-scared, she is just a wonderful person.Such a complicated species ... doesn't seem to be a right or wrong answer ... each to their own, and we should all be respected and supported in our choices, right or wrong. As long as we're happy, and desired, and ultimately, loved.
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RHP User
13 years ago
What other people do is not your concern. Everyone has their own journey and lessons to learn. You could choose to forgive your parents and move forward in life with love instead of hate. Your life could be a lot happier if you concentrate on clearing your own issues as YOU are the only person you can change. It's all in your perception. Judge not... xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
More power to you - fully appreciate all you have written, and beautifully so.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I love how you say "you will have a married wife come for you one day"Pretty sure the HUSBAND is the one who took the vows, not the third wheel/mistress.
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RHP User
13 years ago
How this topic affects our children. I think it is a selfish act regardless of your own beliefs. I know if my youngest son found out about his dads wandering ways he would lose all respect for him. This I wish not to happen. It has already happened with my eldest. There is such a knock on effect that does anyone really understand the damage it causes. At the end of the day it is not about you and him or her....it is about the innocent bystanders who's lives can be destroyed.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'SacralChakra' What other people do is not your concern. Everyone has their own journey and lessons to learn. You could choose to forgive your parents and move forward in life with love instead of hate. Your life could be a lot happier if you concentrate on clearing your own issues as YOU are the only person you can change. It's all in your perception. Judge not... xxx When you are raised in a loving environment and then to have it pulled out form under your feet is NOT an easy task to get over.Tell me Chakra.... what is the lesson here for an innocent child??I do laugh at "your own issues"......"issues" created by a fucking adult who swept away trust.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' How this topic affects our children. I think it is a selfish act regardless of your own beliefs. I know if my youngest son found out about his dads wandering ways he would lose all respect for him. This I wish not to happen. It has already happened with my eldest. There is such a knock on effect that does anyone really understand the damage it causes. At the end of the day it is not about you and him or her....it is about the innocent bystanders who's lives can be destroyed. You read my mind, I expressed concern about the effect on the children in a message not so long ago. Peachy
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Playful2looking
13 years ago
Surely the blame if any has to be on the straying or cheating person. If you are having an affair with a married person you do not know the reason why they are cheating. I know of a woman who had an affair for 14 years she never told her husband or her children only her girl friends knew. why because the sex was better and she loved her husband really loved him didn't want to hurt him. The husband was a good provider the lover was a good sex partner it was just sex. nether her or her lover wanted to rock the boat they just wanted their casual sex.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I haven't been on the site for long,but from talking to people both online and in social settings.from what I've gathered apart from this site oviously been about sex, respect also plays a huge role. I think that people play about on the sly or people that assist this behaviour either don't realise or don't care about the effects their " living in the moment" way of thinking can destroy other people's lives. I believe that if your partner is going to cheat then that's exactly what they are going to do, but serving yourself up on a silver platter for a married person is wrong...in my opinion... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Good for you. I agree. As adults we have a duty of care to our children. I know there are all sorts of reasons why people stay in unhappy marriages, but apart from where one person is sick with an illness, I can't see why you would stay and then end up cheating your whole marriage. Man up, grow some balls and sort your life out. Men and women. I know that is harsh but it's not my problem. :) I know some people will say, but I still love my partner but we want different things sexually. Well doesn't this mean you shouldn't be together?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
'You can't break up a happy marriage.' If someone's going to behind their partner's back then it's a very strong indication that something is very wrong indeed in that relationship - and it's compounded when children are involved. OP, your personal situation you described was truly awful. BUT - and as an example, if the lady hadn't cheated with me, there are extremely good odds she would have done it with someone else, resulting in the same situation. I don't see myself as either selfish or an enabler of any sort - although it would be quite clear that nothing would occur outside of NSA play. Others may have baggage - I do not, and like the other adults here I make my own choices based on values and experience. I don't hold negative opinions on those that disagree with my stance - but it remains a YES from me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Primal_InstinXXX'Yes it's all good and well to my body my choice and oh but the circumstances and it is not all black and white I know this and pretty much it's all pretty half arsed excuses instead of reasons. Tuscan you will have a wife come for you one day and deserved I would say. What happened to treat others how you wish to be treated? I'm sure if you were the clueless partner you would think differently... Or you have been scalded maybe and seek to destroy others. I only sleep with Singles or open relationship couples. The answers do make me see something's in a different light and its not very bright.- Posted from rhpmobile I was cheated on kiddo I took responsibility for that, my husband was not happy he was fifo and I treated him like a walking cheque book the provider and forgot he was more than that yes I gave him sex when he wanted it, but no I did not give him intimacy that he deserved. Like many women I was busy working full time, and raising kids and sick to death of sex if you want to know. she he went to a woman that made him feel like a man, who can blame him. so I have seen both sides of the story and a wife come for me one day, me thinks not I am sixty, she would not believe her hot 32 year old husband would be going with me. thats my disguise you say I deserve what? someone to come and hurt me? I can see you now, with your black long religous gown, foaming at the mouth shouting burn the witch Its so easy to see the hurt people here, they carry the bitter shield up high and mighty. and yes married men can come to my bed, and be themselves with no judgments from me the scarlet woman. nothing like a thin lipped zealot to get my blood boiling
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred' Quoting 'Primal_InstinXXX'Yes it's all good and well to my body my choice and oh but the circumstances and it is not all black and white I know this and pretty much it's all pretty half arsed excuses instead of reasons. Tuscan you will have a wife come for you one day and deserved I would say. What happened to treat others how you wish to be treated? I'm sure if you were the clueless partner you would think differently... Or you have been scalded maybe and seek to destroy others. I only sleep with Singles or open relationship couples. The answers do make me see something's in a different light and its not very bright.- Posted from rhpmobile I was cheated on kiddo I took responsibility for that, my husband was not happy he was fifo and I treated him like a walking cheque book the provider and forgot he was more than that yes I gave him sex when he wanted it, but no I did not give him intimacy that he deserved. Like many women I was busy working full time, and raising kids and sick to death of sex if you want to know. she he went to a woman that made him feel like a man, who can blame him. so I have seen both sides of the story and a wife come for me one day, me thinks not I am sixty, she would not believe her hot 32 year old husband would be going with me. thats my disguise you say I deserve what? someone to come and hurt me? I can see you now, with your black long religous gown, foaming at the mouth shouting burn the witch Its so easy to see the hurt people here, they carry the bitter shield up high and mighty. and yes married men can come to my bed, and be themselves with no judgments from me the scarlet woman. nothing like a thin lipped zealot to get my blood boiling
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Primal_InstinXXX'It is women who like married men that left me and my brother to be raised by a single mother. With a pretty shit relationship with our father even though for many years we had no clue as to why they split. This is what fuels my fire to hate cheaters and cheater enablers.- Posted from rhpmobile I have five siblings as both my paretnts played up and I ended up in an orphanage without knowing my brothers and sisters this is not about being unfaithful its about not being a good parent while my husband and I were divorced and living seperate lives, we still raised our children just as if we were a family who you fuck has nothing to do with that. see my life is not all wine and roses and I am not a home wrecker sweet cheeks, I actually talk a lot of men into not leaving their family. sex is sex is sex , nothing more than that for me. I have to smile at times, people watch so much war and guns and crap and yet a person kills someone they hardly blink but ohhh god fuck a married person and its steam comes out of their ears. I am sure an unfaithful person must have been the second shooter on the grassy knoll, ohh wait he got shot because he was unfaithful...just had a brain snap then. now I want all you married people to stop fucking around, or you will be responsible for the end of the world as we know it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
oh Gooody finaly we have an interesting forum.
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RHP User
13 years ago
''We do not go to bed in simple pairs;even if we choose not to refer to them,we still drag there with us the cultural impedimentia of our social class,our parents' lives,our bank balances,our sexual and emotional expectations,our whole biographies-----all the bits and pieces of our unique existences.'' Angela Carter For some people OP like you,this is a black and white issue.It is sad that you feel your life was ruined by your father's cheating and his leaving your mother and siblings. But everyone has a story,most people have emotional and sometimes physical wounds and scarrs. We are damaged,we can be victims of the damage done to us or we can get on with our lives.Make even better what we have,don't let the past shackle us to our bitterness and pain.We all deserve to be loved,we all deserve to love,we all deserve to be happy,I wish all of that for you.
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RHP User
13 years ago
...they would react differently. My first wife had affairs and I didn't do my nut or judge her harshly. I realised that our relationship wasn't working and couldn't blame her. When I strayed, some time later, we had been living in seperate rooms for over a year. We led seperate lives. Neither one of us would leave our infant son to the other so we grudgingly stayed together. After my affairs, in which I found no satisfaction, I returned to try again with my marriage. We had another son but we still could not make the relationship work and divorced many years later, when the boys were older, and shared custody. The boys were never effected by my affairs and were never aware of them until after their mother and I had divorced. I explained what had happened to them myself. They are understanding of my circumstance and we remain very close. I don't know whether their mother ever told them about her own affairs but I never will. It's not my place to do so. Having been on both sides of the equation and being aware of the circumstances of dozens of other affairs, I know how easy it is to find yourself in such a situation. I applaud a person's decision not to become involved in an extramarital affair but that does not give that person the right to be judgemental of another who does.
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RHP User
13 years ago
...although I'm well aware that it can but let's face it, when a relationship fails, there is always fall out. In a bad relationship, you have several choices. You can stick with it and try to make it work, sometimes this is successful and sometimes things just get worse. You can look for comfort outside the relationship or you can leave your spouse. Both of these options are against the marriage vows and either one can cause pain and damage. There is no right or wrong there are only choices. For all those who insist that leaving your spouse is always the right thing to do, let me remind you that people take their own lives or turn violent towards others due to being deserted as well as being "cheated on". As an example, this is an exerpt from a news article just a few weeks ago, Wife killer jailed for 16 years in Sydney 2:06pm February 4, 2013 A Sydney man who beat and stabbed his wife of 28 years to death after she asked for a divorce has been sentenced to at least 16 years in prison. Dragi Maglovski was found guilty of murdering his wife Rosa Maglovski, 48, on October 8, 2011 in their Hurstville home in Sydney's south as their adult son Daniel lay oblivious upstairs. In sentencing the 60-year-old in the NSW Supreme Court on Monday, Justice Robert Beech-Jones said Maglovski had stabbed his wife at least 10 times as well as slashing and beating her.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Quoting 'SacralChakra' What other people do is not your concern. Everyone has their own journey and lessons to learn. You could choose to forgive your parents and move forward in life with love instead of hate. Your life could be a lot happier if you concentrate on clearing your own issues as YOU are the only person you can change. It's all in your perception. Judge not... xxx When you are raised in a loving environment and then to have it pulled out form under your feet is NOT an easy task to get over.Tell me Chakra.... what is the lesson here for an innocent child??I do laugh at "your own issues"......"issues" created by a fucking adult who swept away trust. We are all responsible for ourselves. Life is full of lessons and we all get hurt. The lessons, and how we deal with them, shape who we become. What we CAN change is our perception of things so we don't take them as personal insults. Hanging onto hate, resentment and fear is only preventing us from letting go and moving on with our lives. It is a choice whether or not to forgive. Each person makes that choice for themselves. We often tend to teach our children the lessons we learned from our parents. Who learned from their parents, who learned from their parents, and so on. What many people fail to realise is that what is right for one person is not necessarily right for another, but we take those lessons learned and hang onto them way longer than we need to. Its up to each individual to break the cycle. Having a victim mentality clouds a persons perspective. I'm happy to talk to anyone who needs help finding a different way to look at things...
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RHP User
13 years ago
we operate on the premise that no one here has the 'right' to inject themselves into anyone elses relationship....without the full knowledge and consent of all parties involved...that means the 'unknowing' partner as well...for us to think otherwise is overstepping the marks of decency, of honesty, and of both compassion and empathy. so if some guy regales us with a tale of sadness and woe, of neglect and even of abuse, inviting him into our bed isnt going to solve even one small thing in his life...if anything, it actually has the potential to do much more and far worse damage. if his relationship is in trouble, or its 'lacking' in any way, its up to him, or his wife, to fix that, in whatever way he or she can, but they need to fix it within the realms and confines of the relationship...and if they cant....they either seek professional, thoughtful and constructive guidance, or go seperate ways...not escalate the issue by dragging others in... people dont die for lack of sex...but they are assaulted, abused and even worse, as a result of how sex 'drives' some...then theres this idea that sex...and its 'availability' is a 'given' within a relationship...but thats an archaic idea, no one is under any 'obligation' spoken or otherwise, because they are married to another...sex is a gift, and should be treated as such. none of us has any 'right' to sex, and no one of us can be taken to task...for choosing to either not indulge or not share , sex with their partner...i'd say...'welcome to the world of adulthood.....where we dont always get what we want'.... realiistically...the tools are all there, to fix just about any relationship issue, but we dont use them...its 'too hard' or 'too slow' or its 'too messy'.....so what do we do? we take a quick fix of 'happiness', we look for the 'high' that sex gives us, and everythings ok...except that its not, all we've done is sweep the issue further under the mat, complicated things more by adding a thrid, fourth, fifth and even sixth or more person to the equation, and dug an even deeper hole to crawl from by telling more lies, fabricated more excuses and created more deceptions and illusions... none of which do anything except make it more and more impossible for a relationship to recover .....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Let people make their own choices. Feeling guilty as a third party for an affair is akin to feeling guilty as a paramedic because someone was injured in a drunk driving incident.Actually, that's a terrible simile. I'll try again.It's akin to feeling responsible for someone else's decisions and personal circumstances. Someone who readily cheats on their partner doesn't do it because you were some sort of vampire "glamming" them under a hypnotic spell, they do it because they desperately crave lust beyond what their inhibitions allow.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Unfortunately when a couple do split up due to infidelity, it is often the children who suffer due to the fact that one or both of the parties vent their anger in front of the children. This is simply not on and in the longe term has the possibilty to fracture parent/child relations. As for judging people and what they choose to do with their lives, that is not my place. My Nan used to tell me to go and look in the mirror before judging anyone else. Everyone is different and evryones situations are different. Its when you wake up in the morning and look in that mirror and you dont like what you see because of what you have been doing, you need to reasses your life and how you are living it. I cant remember the names of the comedians who coined the phrase, 'Go and look in the mirror and take a good long hard look at yourself' LOL
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sakal, Tuscan, Freya...you all make good points and everyone is going to have a view on this issue, which time and time again shows it is a divisive issue.I subscribe to the each to their own doctrine and that we are big boys and girls and can make our own decisions about the choices we make, but believe that none of us is any position to make judgement calls on others. We can choose not to interact with certain people and leave it at that, as what's ok for me may not be ok for you but that doesn't make either of us a better or lesser person than the other.My attitude may be arse up, who is to say, but it still surprises me the level of judgement and/or the expression of surprise/shock/horror of people that there may be people playing without their partners' consent or knowledge, that exists on a site such as this. Sure some might be here to make friends only or contribute to lively debates in forums and such, but the site is promoted and used primarily as a sex/swingers/lifestyle (whatever you want to call it) site for liberal and open minded adult to meet for a bit of good old fashioned consensual and rumpty bumpty within whatever end of the saucy and debauchery spectrum that entails. We can all choose ultimately who we interact with and if it becomes evident their relationship status is not quite true or they are prepared to tell you about it up front, you still have a choice to move on or get on with it and have some fun.
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playfulminx
13 years ago
I think the replies so far have mainly touched on why people cheat when I felt Primal was asking why people would knowingly get involved with a cheating spouse? I think a few people have answered the actual question but mostly this seems to have turned into yet another discussion into why people cheat. Sorry if I'm mistaken.I personally prefer unattached play friends but the one thing I do agree on is that every situation is different and no one should judge another person's view on the matter. Some acts may be unanimously regarded as downright despicable (eg - when you're seeing your best friend's husband) while other situations involve irresistible attraction or just plain pragmatism where having a FWB who is married removes relationship headaches. And yes, there are people who simply don't care.Peachy's questions was asking for a black and white answer when in reality you'll find those who said yes may say no under other circumstances, and vice versa. Some people may say 'yes' under any circumstance but so be it. You don't have to be friends with them. Just keep an open-mind as to why some people do what they do.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think i'm in love with you OP... where are all the people like you? I don't take the high ground but i agree that many people would not want this to happen to them but are prepared to be the ones that put themselves in that situation. Always ask the question" how would i feel if i was the other person?'
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have never slept with a person in a relationship and never will, but I will not judge those who do.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' My body .. my choice! xFunlovingx gota love that lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ok, now these type of post will always come up and continue to go round and round,,,,,it can be never ending. Just so so many different opinions,feelings and circumstances.
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RHP User
13 years ago
You are correct and thank you for your input. No it does not always destroy lives however it does many. It did not destroy my life and I will say I stayed in my marriage for a number of years thereafter of my partners infidelity. I do not begrudge him for the affairs at all. He worked overseas for long stints at a time. I get that and always new though he was never honest about it and I understood as well why he wasn't. No one in here knows or understands my circumstances at the time.. However Jensman there was nothing wrong with our marriage. What happened to us was something I wish no one to ever go through. The worst fall out however from the breakdown was my son losing respect for his dad. Since though through many talks with him, listening to his feelings and validating them he is getting back on track to becoming close to his dad again. This Jensman is what is important to me. Think about the ramifications on children that's all. It takes a lot of work to build trust and respect and in a second it is gone.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'How_Far'I have never slept with a person in a relationship and never will, but I will not judge those who do. pulls up her panties and stops off
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RHP User
13 years ago
it is not always black and white, there are some grey areas that yo will find out as you get older. Different circumstances drive people to do things they would not normally do. it could be some medical probleb that partner has and he or she does not want out of the marriage, but they have needs as well so its very difficult to put it onto a black and white catergory
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RHP User
13 years ago
...I understand completely. If you check, you'll see that I wrote that "it's a pretty good sign" not that it's a given that there is something wrong with the relationship. It just reinforces the stance that each situation should be viewed independently. No two situations are the same. There has in fact been many recorded instances where an affair has actually saved a relationship. All these assertions that it is always harmful or that the children will always be harmed are clearly false and keep getting tossed about as propaganda. Children can be harmed by infidelities. They can also be harmed by a marriage breakdown in which infidelity is not a contributing factor and also by couples that stay together but fight incessantly. The thing is, you just never know. All a person can do is weigh up the options, make a choice and prepare for the consequences. The only safe route is to not marry the wrong person to begin with.
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RHP User
13 years ago
is why do you think it's anyone else's business who i choose to sleep with....or if i choose to use contraception ....or have an abortion...or anything else to do with me!! i am a grown up and can make choices as can my partner/s.... as xfunlovingsx stated "my body my choice" FFJ
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RHP User
13 years ago
...speaking for myself, the affairs that I did have were, with one exception, with bored, lonely, attached women. For one thing, there was less chance of strings developing as we knew what we were getting into. For another, from my own experience I knew that married people can be in need of intimacy too. ................................................................................... I would never betray Jennylee as I am very happily married and very satisfied. For my part no one could come between us. I'm comfortable enough in our relationship to believe her when she tells me she feels the same way. If I were to lose her, I would recognise that I was unable to keep her happy and accept that I had my share in the failure of the relationship. If I discovered that she was having an affair, I would try to find out where things went wrong between us and see if it could be rectified. I would not turn venomous and vindictive.
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RHP User
13 years ago
what a spineless bunch of lovey dovey feel-good cop-outs! "It's not my place to judge others."Well, maybe if you realised that sometimes it is, folks, the world would be a better place.When somebody engages in a self-centred activity that has a very high likelihood of causing further pain and anguish to another human being, that's a bad thing™. This is not some crazy, holier-than-though, glass-housed hypocritical moral high ground - this is basic human decency that we've been learning and supposedly aspiring to since we were toddlers. Jensman, no, cheating is rarely the cause of a break-up. But it almost always makes the situation worse for the other party. To be the person somebody cheats with, you are making a decision, conscious or otherwise, that you do not regard the feelings of another person as highly as you do having sex with their partner.It doesn't get much more straightforward than that. Enlighten me how that's a grey area?You can fuck as many people as you want in this world as you like, and nothing I or anyone says should make you feel ashamed of that because that in itself doesn't hurt anybody. But if you fuck somebody else's partner without them knowing and it's likely to make them very upset if they find out, you might not feel ashamed, but I believe you probably should.As for the argument "if not me then somebody else", I think it's the moral equivalent of saying that if you find a wallet on the street you may as well keep the money, because if you don't somebody else will come along who will. Geez, whatever helps you sleep at night.Yes, sometimes moral situations ARE mostly black and white. There are always exceptions, but we're not entirely living in some post-modern morass of ethical relativity. Sometimes that surprises even me.
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erotictouch4u
13 years ago
Quoting 'Saskia72' Who are we to judge what is right and wrong? I have never known anyone who is truly happy with their life to cheat on a partner. Yes there are those who say "get out of the relationship then", but it is not always so cut and dried. ...children...precious people who will be damaged far more by getting out of the relationship and growing up without one parent while young and impressionable, always being fed hatred about the parent who left. ...finances...especially a concern for a single parent trying to provide sometimes just the essentials. ...career...trying to obtain that balance between hours spent earning and hours spent with the children nurturing them. As has been said it is not as black and white as you may think to leave a relationship which has failed, sometimes being a more hoourable decision to stay finding solaice outside the main relationship to keep the family unit together for the better good until a later time when children grow up and can understand. ET xox
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'playfulminx' I think the replies so far have mainly touched on why people cheat when I felt Primal was asking why people would knowingly get involved with a cheating spouse? I think a few people have answered the actual question but mostly this seems to have turned into yet another discussion into why people cheat. Sorry if I'm mistaken.I personally prefer unattached play friends but the one thing I do agree on is that every situation is different and no one should judge another person's view on the matter. Some acts may be unanimously regarded as downright despicable (eg - when you're seeing your best friend's husband) while other situations involve irresistible attraction or just plain pragmatism where having a FWB who is married removes relationship headaches. And yes, there are people who simply don't care.Peachy's questions was asking for a black and white answer when in reality you'll find those who said yes may say no under other circumstances, and vice versa. Some people may say 'yes' under any circumstance but so be it. You don't have to be friends with them. Just keep an open-mind as to why some people do what they do. I agree with you that this topic does seem to have wandered off it's intended path. I iknow I have my reasons for why I don't want to get involved which includes as I mentioned already, children (they are my number 1 concern). I don't believe everything I'm told, so I'd want confirmation which is not going to be happening. I've had boyfriends cheat on me way bach when, cheated myself, had cheaters lie to me and I don't need the angst. About my thread, I wished I'd added a maybe later Minx, but it was too late and I was not allowed to add a post saying that which was fair enough. I accepted that and took it though that no is no, and maybe allows the idea of yes the possibility is open, still I wish I had added it. I suppose I could change my count to include maybes/yes & nos lol but I didn't want to confuse the thread now. Maybe someone else would like to look into that on another thread, I'd understand if so. It really is terribly complicated and I have too many friends I respect to not understand that. PeachyDares
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'playfulminx'I think the replies so far have mainly touched on why people cheat when I felt Primal was asking why people would knowingly get involved with a cheating spouse? I think a few people have answered the actual question but mostly this seems to have turned into yet another discussion into why people cheat. Sorry if I'm mistaken. I personally prefer unattached play friends but the one thing I do agree on is that every situation is different and no one should judge another person's view on the matter. Some acts may be unanimously regarded as downright despicable (eg - when you're seeing your best friend's husband) while other situations involve irresistible attraction or just plain pragmatism where having a FWB who is married removes relationship headaches. And yes, there are people who simply don't care. Peachy's questions was asking for a black and white answer when in reality you'll find those who said yes may say no under other circumstances, and vice versa. Some people may say 'yes' under any circumstance but so be it. You don't have to be friends with them. Just keep an open-mind as to why some people do what they do. Will I sleep with a married man? Yes Would I sleep with a friend or even acquaintances husband/partner? Never Woulld I sleep with a colleagues husband/partner? Never . Just because I have had affairs and may do so in the future (you never know what tomorrow brings) ...I wouldn't sleep with a married man for the hell of it! If he is single -fine...if he is married -fine! As I said...My body...my choice! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
13 years ago
My mate committed suicide by gassing himself with his car.. I HATE cars. Another mate got thrown off his motorbike and died.. I HATE motorbikes. My favourite uncles wife played up on him and he turned into an alcoholic... I HATE WOMEN.. AND Beer.. WTF?? Let me give you a little medical advise... It has already been said.. exactly what I am about to tell you.. but in differnt terms.. "A properly oxygenated cell, will never become cancerous" Now.. If your wife is going to play up.. she is going to do it.. WITH OR WITHOUT me. YOU are her problem.. rightfully OR wrongfully so! I, on the other hand.. am her medicine.. either as a band aid.. or a cure :) GOD !!! sometimes I SCARE myself with my perspicacity!! ... Now Primal.. CHANGE your name.. you are NOT primal.. and, as Tuscan said.. lose the colour in your photos.. You are black and white only.
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RHP User
13 years ago
"WHY would someone KNOWINGLY get involved with a cheating partner?" Fck!! EASY Mate.. EASY.. because our worlds collided.. and the fact that she was married.. or partnered does NOT FCKN Matter.. Shot, stabbed, beaten, poisoned... Threatened..and STILL to this day.. by a husband, refered to as "Red Cord" And those of you who know what "Red cord" is.. will understand what he reckons to do with it.. Arrogant, oppinionated, biased and totally unreservedly unrepentant.. "THAT" OP.. is why THIS person would knowingly have sex with a person - behind their partners back.. Of course.. I cannot speak for the others who would do it... ESPECIALLY those who SWEAR they wouldn't, but.. WHEN the time comes.. WILL
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Playful2looking
13 years ago
I Guess because they want to. Oh yes i have been cheated on if you all want to know. I am married for the second time. I did not bag my ex to the kids. I had respect for their relationship with their mother.The kids are now in their twenties and have made up their own minds about their mother. It has taken me twenty years for me to repair my relationship with my kids. Why because seeing them twice a month and in school hoildays as well as fighting aunties and gran mother's for access to you own kids wasn't enough to bridge the gap. Because everyone around me believed the old saying if a woman wants to leave her husband he must be a bastard. So I know the pain. Do I have a chip on my shoulder; no. Having anger about a situation that I cannot change is wasted energy. Like everyone has said before. cheating can hurt the kids. if they truly know that they are loved by both parents they can adapt. cheating is an adult problem not to be used as a tool to hurt the kids so you can get some sort of revenge. Dont put you kids in the middle thay dont deserve it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'cavey50' My mate committed suicide by gassing himself with his car.. I HATE cars. Another mate got thrown off his motorbike and died.. I HATE motorbikes. My favourite uncles wife played up on him and he turned into an alcoholic... I HATE WOMEN.. AND Beer..WTF?? As a lover of both beer and women, but not a huge fan of depression, unsafe or drunk drivers, or infidelity, I don't think there's any inherent contradiction.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Gee mate, tell us how you really feel? You can fuck married women. Good for you. And I can judge you based on that. Good for me. :-/- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Who are you to judge the life I live? I am not perfect and I don't have to be! Before you start pointing fingers... Make sure YOUR hands are clean By Bob Marley
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RHP User
13 years ago
Why the hell would the children need to know?? What kind of self involved idiot would want them dragged into it?My children, even the adult ones, DO NOT know all the reasons why our marriage broke down, and why would they need to know? Many of the reasons are way beyond their grasp and NONE of them have anything to do with them. They deserve and need to love and respect their parents and they need to know that they are loved by both parents. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
I MIGHT come out of the closet one day and fck married men too... It seems I MAY have impossed my unwanted "Thoughts" on some here...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Everyone has an opinion and everyone has reasons behind that opinion. I don't think primal's opinion is any less valid than yours. Is it? Seems to me the paintings in your cave are black and white. Your way or the highway. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Brilliant. I agree. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Only because I have charcoal to paint and write with... SURELY??? Or.. is my biased self showing so clearly? *grins* Of COURSE Primal has totally "as valid" notions and beliefs. As does everyone else.. The world would SURELY be a dark and inhospitable place if everyone were to live in MY head... We do however, become entrenched in the SPIRIT of discussion sometimes..and somewhat deeper then we intend .. Mostly.. I TRY to maintain.. "Tongue-in-cheek" And.. Meeks.. the CHEEK you are showing..... .. VERY MUCH SHOULD BE HOLDING the Tongue idea.
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madotara69
13 years ago
We value our friends, for who they are, and why they are. As to the swinging environment we are new, yet we have done lots of new things and all with the same set of values.We are a happy couple and have kids. Our kids have lived with the grown ups, as home has been the venue. And we have partied, to our knowledge sex was not a open affair. Flirting yes, everyone gets toe'y, sneak out they try, but went off to root. Great nights, great people with the trust for being comfortable for honesty being respected, well respected. There is times where honesty in friendship is counted on, and backed up, no hesitation. Decisions are made to it. Choices aswell.In my book, (not speaking for Tara, yet we agree) If you are a mate, you would not ask me to help cheat. We might not play by the rules, what rules other than values. But we don,t cheat at it. If I were to disrespect one friend, then I have payed disrespect to them all.My opinion, is do what you like, If it questions the values, I don't want to know.Then only you can call to it right or wrong. I hope you would have it right. Things that are wrong can have people act without fear of consequence. (Crime with the act of passion), is considered a matter for, His Honor presiding. In consideration to find leniency for a (reason) if it be so. Nothing of this is influenced to anything written within these post's, or as reference. Certainly not an argument.I believe Primal is honurable, he would be a good mate, if it is a thing with a mate, Questioning values can be tough, so can standing by them. If you were to help a cheat happen, and things turn to shit? don't cheat it., make it a reason, then things may differ. Plenty people have reasons for lots of things. Reasoning is to consider what may, Cheating is hiding from what may.Not that there is anything with hiding, if you have been naughty. Easy to cop a smack from our respected ones, if there's no embarrassment. Mado
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'karynb' Why the hell would the children need to know?? What kind of self involved idiot would want them dragged into it?My children, even the adult ones, DO NOT know all the reasons why our marriage broke down, and why would they need to know? Many of the reasons are way beyond their grasp and NONE of them have anything to do with them. They deserve and need to love and respect their parents and they need to know that they are loved by both parents. - Posted from rhpmobile my dear my son heard us arguing unfortunate as it was. He deserved an explanation.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'cavey50' I MIGHT come out of the closet one day and fck married men too... It seems I MAY have impossed my unwanted "Thoughts" on some here... shut the fuck up and fuck my ex.... promise ill set it up..... he is a lovely closet Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Who are you to judge the life I live? I am not perfect and I don't have to be! Before you start pointing fingers... Make sure YOUR hands are clean By Bob Marley Beautiful quote fun xxx I do not believe i have judged any one. I have just viewed my own thoughts on the matter.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'neptune_drift'what a spineless bunch of lovey dovey feel-good cop-outs! "It's not my place to judge others." Well, maybe if you realised that sometimes it is, folks, the world would be a better place. When somebody engages in a self-centred activity that has a very high likelihood of causing further pain and anguish to another human being, that's a bad thing™. This is not some crazy, holier-than-though, glass-housed hypocritical moral high ground - this is basic human decency that we've been learning and supposedly aspiring to since we were toddlers. Jensman, no, cheating is rarely the cause of a break-up. But it almost always makes the situation worse for the other party. To be the person somebody cheats with, you are making a decision, conscious or otherwise, that you do not regard the feelings of another person as highly as you do having sex with their partner. It doesn't get much more straightforward than that. Enlighten me how that's a grey area? You can fuck as many people as you want in this world as you like, and nothing I or anyone says should make you feel ashamed of that because that in itself doesn't hurt anybody. But if you fuck somebody else's partner without them knowing and it's likely to make them very upset if they find out, you might not feel ashamed, but I believe you probably should. As for the argument "if not me then somebody else", I think it's the moral equivalent of saying that if you find a wallet on the street you may as well keep the money, because if you don't somebody else will come along who will. Geez, whatever helps you sleep at night. Yes, sometimes moral situations ARE mostly black and white. There are always exceptions, but we're not entirely living in some post-modern morass of ethical relativity. Sometimes that surprises even me. Morals are not mores , your smart enough to know the difference. your sexual behaviours can hurt others and thats not just being unfaitful think long and hard at the things you do in life. Moral situations are not black and white, all over the world or between genders as you say its ethical relativity. your fine to have your own views, but I notice the ones that have fixed views have either never been married and are often young or are bitter as hell because of how it affected them thats fine, but it makes for a cyclops view of situations If you dont like it then dont do it...like any other activity Were on RHP, not in sunday school
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi Primal Instinct. I just wanted to say (as others have noted) - its not always that simple. I'm single and I avoid people who are obviously in relationships (eg. "attached" status on here where its obvious from their profile that what they are doing isn't by agreement. wedding rings in real life). But these things are fallible and some people set out to deceive, that isn't my fault and I refuse to take the rap for it. The person in the relationship has the responsibility to be honest and not cheat on their partner.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Its an amazing thing human nature. Or at least the perception of it... Our very westernized world dictates the way we react to these situations... Ultimately its quite a simple proposition. One most people wont allow themselves to admit. People be it male or female, do it because they want to. Not for any other forced reason. Its a choice. Like everything else you do in life. Now i'm probably going to get ridiculed by many for this statement. But whom am i to care. Monogamy isn't natural. Its taught not instinctive. At least thats my 2c- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
My dad did it and just happened to do it with one of my closest mate's mum when I was about 14 years old. Pretty average effort I accept, but I understand it to a degree. She was hot physically and personality wise and even at a very naive 14 years old I recognised that there was something intriguing about her. She was very attractive, fun to be around and very easy to talk to and can see why the old boy was tempted. I am practically a carbon copy of my dad so I think I can understand his mindset at the time as I am roughly the age now as he was when it all happened. It was just an attraction between two people who got along very well that led to sex on a few occasions. It was just that...sex...sex sex. Shit given an invite I would have loved a chance to have sex with her back then also. Wouldnt have had a clue what I was doing but it would have been the greatest 15 and a half seconds of my life to that point. In any case they obviously both still loved their respective wife/husband as both couples are still together and seem all very happy. I know it tore up my mum for a while and that was hard to watch but I got a lesson in the intensity of the rage of a woman scorned and she was brutal on him for a while but they worked thru it and are still together roughly 30 years later. My mates mum and dad are still together and both couples still socialise together as part of a larger group of friends. To their credit as far as any impact on my brother (3 years younger) and I it was pretty negligible really. Sure we felt for mum and were probably a bit pissed off at him for a while but but they explained to us what had happened and when they had to talk/argue they used to leave the house for a while in the car so we wouldn't have to witness what I am sure would have been some very colourful conversations. I talk with my brother about it sometimes and we both reckon in the same situation in his boots we would have faltered with her as well. I think the biggest impact was probably between my mate and I. Things definitely changed between us around that time. We never ever spoke of it and still haven't and probably never knew how to but I think it created a distance between us that is still there to this day but then again it could have happened anyway because we are very different personalities in any case. What did I learn....my parents truly loved and protected my brother and I, how to find forgiveness of others when they make a huge blunder, sex and love can be quite separate things, the amazing strength of women even when they are in so much pain, the rare allure of a sexy cougar and when your lady is angry at you, so angry she wants to tear your testicles right through the base of your scrotum, if you love her and she loves you, give her the space and time she needs and she will forgive....she won't forget, but she will forgive.
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RHP User
13 years ago
As someone who was cheated on... which ended a 26 yr marriage... i could never fuck with another woman's family and life... i, like so many others have experienced the pain... i couldn't do that to another woman...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Never stick your hand in another mans fridge without asking first. I don't judge those that cheat, it's their life and their choice. I wouldn't do it but that's my choice. Each choice should be respected- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
I disagree TR. Nothing is black & white as you all keep saying. But you are all missing the point here. I can sympathize when someone is in a bad situation. Yep sometimes life sucks. But that doesn't mean it's okay to contribute to their situation is it? I can offer my friendship and support... Doesn't mean I have to sleep with them. You & Cavey, and others are basically saying that you don't really care what their situation is, you don't care about the other stakeholders and you don't care if your actions help to contribute to that marriage breaking down or that family falling apart. Because if it wasn't me it would be somebody else. You have absolved yourself from all responsibility by saying life is not black and white. Well you will pardon me if I politely cough *bullshit* You don't see anything wrong with what you are doing. Fair enough. But you will have to accept that many do. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
when this particular topic comes up to note the judgements that are being made.Many people here would definitely be ''judged '' in RL for the choices they make regarding their sexual proclivities and behaviours. The world needs more judging people Drift,really?Well my friend ,that statement will surely bite you on the bum one day. Perhaps it would make it easier for the stoning if all of us found guilty of moral turpitude just had a big S tattoed on our foreheads.Then let the stonking begin.At least you will know who exactly to target.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Do I blame some people for cheating. No I don't.. How is this for a doozy. Good friend of mine will only see married men. She enjoys the sneaking around and clandestine nature of it all. Recently she was talking to a man online and he revealed that he had been unfaithful more than twice. Well she says to me. How disgusting I don't want to see a serial cheater! Lol. And yes she is aware of the irony. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Everyone is judged. We have rules and regulations and spiritual commandments or whatever for a reason. Same way that you judge a marriage before you ask if its okay to sleep with a married person. The same way you are judging the "other" partner. You stand up for what you believe in and others will do the same. :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
I also see someone who is married and has a "don't ask don't tell" arrangement with his wife. Am I completely comfortable with that no. Will people judge me for that. Most likely and they have every right too. I own up to my actions, yes people will see me as hypocritical and I accept that. But NOT EVERYTHInG IS BLACK AND WHITE. (Lol) same as my opinion there are shades of grey. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
hypocrisy is alive and well here.If someone goes to a sex club or private party,where is the guarantee that the people you are engaging with are not married or attached?Do they bring wriiten permission with verification from their partners?If you have sex with a married person and they say they have permission from their spouse,do you verify that with the spouse? It seems to me that if you espouse the ''lifestyle'' there are no guarantees you aren't gonna fall onto a married cock or tongue inadvertently. Indeed I have a lot of compassion for those that it happens to,because it is an awful thing to happen,and causes a lot of hurt and pain.
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RHP User
13 years ago
You are right. I don't know if they are married that is true. But I still wouldn't knowingly do it. I take full responsibility that yes, I sometimes will fall on a cock that may be married. Seems like a very personal topic to you. :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
What I am try to say is own up to the fact that what you are doing is wrong. We are taught that lying is wrong and cheating is wrong. And it is regardless of the circumstances... That doesn't always mean I think less of the person. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Intercourse bonking fucking and all the other things we do with the body. I need to sort something out in my mind. And please don’t punish me its just thoughts which run around in my mind and have been there and want to have answers. We are human, what ever this means……we have a inner animal instinct to fuck what ever comes our way…..we evolved from being this animal to being a thinking moral judgmental human. We change the rules how we go…..one generation this is right and another it is wrong. Someone lays down the rule in sexual behaviour …..And they can change them also they are in each country different…..because of religion and all this stuff. So what is right……where are we right……are we right to FUCK……are we wrong to fuck? Some tell us we can only have intercourse to make babies?????? To procreate otherwise sex is dirty, filthy, yukky. I know I was thinking so much different as I was a young woman, because I had in my mind all the moral standing from my parents. But later when I got older and saw what I shouldn’t have seen and I recognize that even the parents not liveing up to the morals they had to preach, you find its all a lie. So what is the truth? Look at us……we making babies more and more and we are not anymore married…….how disgusting some would say…….how can we do this, (this is a sarcastic statement)???????? For a young religious person this is so bad for another it is not. So what is right and what is wrong. Our moral standards are changed, we changed our views on many things sexually during the last 100 years When I look around me and maybe because I am older and have made my own experiences……there is no right and wrong anymore. It’s between this two people who choose to be together or not. Again we all defy the rules on RHP, we are living outside the rules, all of us on RHP, the moment we choose to be a guest or a paying member. Sex rules our lives whether we accept it or not, it’s a fact of being a human. I SAY IT AGAIN ALL OF US ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG BY BEING ON HERE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ON HERE. Pffffff PFFFFF what a hard one is this one. I am so happy to found RHP, no bullshit, or mostly no bullshit sex, poor and simple its sex I found. I know when a man contacts me he is thinking of a FUCK, yes of a FUCK simple I think, isn’t it. Whether we at the end get to have a fuck is a different ballgame. With some you do with others never. It tickles my ego, ohh God I have one, to have men knocking on my RHP door and shout let me in to lick you. It’s a big turn-on to hear the male say all this things. I tell you what all women out there, I would not like to be a male……they have such a hard time to get laid, much harder then me or all of us. I could have a fuck from Monday to Sunday so many men are knocking, starved out of the bloody minds for a fuck, a hug, a cuddle, a kind word, a kiss and, and, and, I think only a hand full of males on here could say they have it all and in such a quantity the women have on here. Sex rules our world and that’s that. When I have sex I am happy, I am happy without it yes, but I am more complete with it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Freya13' when this particular topic comes up to note the judgements that are being made.Many people here would definitely be ''judged '' in RL for the choices they make regarding their sexual proclivities and behaviours. The world needs more judging people Drift,really?Well my friend ,that statement will surely bite you on the bum one day. Perhaps it would make it easier for the stoning if all of us found guilty of moral turpitude just had a big S tattoed on our foreheads.Then let the stonking begin.At least you will know who exactly to target. You'll note, my dear Freya, I said "SOMETIMES" the world needs more judging people. If people are getting hurt, if people are suffering from injustice, if what people are doing is causing harm, then yes, I believe it's reasonable to say something. I feel people saying "I'm not political" is a similar sort of cop-out (but that's besides the point.)I ALSO said that having sex with as many people as possible doesn't IN ITSELF harm anyone, and no-one should make you feel bad about that. However, there's a very clear distinction between saying that, and saying that certain kinds of sexual behaviours ARE USUALLY damaging. Deceiving people into having sex with you by leading them on when they want a relationship is bad. Not taking responsibility for your sexual health by not using protection and/or not getting yourself regularly checked out is bad. Cheating with someone in the knowledge that if their partner finds out it will create considerable hurt is usually bad.It's about getting to the substance of the moral judgement. If you judge someone because they have many sexual partners based on some archaic Judeo-Christian set of values, then no, I don't agree with you. If you judge somebody because their actions are (or are part of) a deception and very likely to exacerbate hurt and pain then yes, there's a good chance if I agree with the premise (that it's likely to cause hurt and pain) then I'll agree with your judgement.Freya, the 'guarantee they're not married' at all has nothing to do with what I'm talking about - its about once you do know they are in a relationship and their partner isn't aware of what they're doing, making a conscious decision and taking responsibility for it.TR, I don't agree with your dismissal of the 'young' and 'experienced' as one-sided. If anything, I would especially hope those 'bitter' people would make you stop and actually think about the consequences of your actions.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Like I have always said...People cheat/lie/ deceive called it what ever to go behind their partners backs.The Simple answer I can honestly say to you.. is because THEY CAN and THEY WILL!There is never ever going to be a right answer - People see things differently to others due to their cultural backgrounds.As humans life can become crap sometimes and we tend to question our morals because of that. Each person 'OWNS' their own morals, dignity and self worth - if they want to cheat let them go for it - it says a lot to me about their self-worth and makes me question their REAL integrity and engenders.If I have to question ones integrity and morals they for one are not for me - however in saying that I will not judge people for their "own behavior"... Behavior and Integrity are two different things..People OWN them and need to take responsibly of them.I hope you find the answers to what you are seeking. :)FOXYPS- As someone just recently said to me.."Yes stick to that thinking and you will be more than ok."
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I disagree TR. Nothing is black & white as you all keep saying. But you are all missing the point here. I can sympathize when someone is in a bad situation. Yep sometimes life sucks. But that doesn't mean it's okay to contribute to their situation is it? I can offer my friendship and support... Doesn't mean I have to sleep with them. You & Cavey, and others are basically saying that you don't really care what their situation is, you don't care about the other stakeholders and you don't care if your actions help to contribute to that marriage breaking down or that family falling apart. Because if it wasn't me it would be somebody else. You have absolved yourself from all responsibility by saying life is not black and white. Well you will pardon me if I politely cough *bullshit* You don't see anything wrong with what you are doing. Fair enough. But you will have to accept that many do. - Posted from rhpmobile I never said every thing was black and white? re read that and You are sleeping with a married man whose wife does not know about you? You posted that yourself a while back, I believe when you did the Is that a chick question thing. Or am I mistaken in this? When you go to swingers, you are sleeping with married men who have not told their wife. I saw men there with women who were not their wife, some of those women were hookers. I ask one believe it or not. I bet that some people on here have slept with a married person , well a lot of you may have without even knowing. By your actions by sleeping around, you know the odds are increased that you will sleep with a married person. If you do not want to hurt anyone , with this lifestyle then its best to walk away. The only way to be sure is NOT to fuck anyone unless your in a relationship with them and then keep it between yourselves or have an open honest relationship The most deceptive relationship your all having on here, is with yourselves at times. I am no different, its the nature of our human side. We are blind to things when we want our own way, no matter what the circumstance. we are selective when we look in that magic mirror of self awareness. I know this as the pictures people put up here are not the reality of who they really are. Showing just part of you, the part you think is sexy or just part of your personality or building up a false sense of self, is just as harmful to others as fucking a married person. In the end its the lie of omission that does the damage. some of you put yourselves up as saints, and the rest are sinners I get that you do not approve of people who want to fuck a married person, but to put down those people for their choices is the part that makes me think your feet are made of clay. and some words taste very sour when you have to eat them one day. I find it so ironic that people on a sex date site, who hide behind a computer want to be judge and jury to all the others. Your not even meeting people of this site, your here to pontificate with a cyber based fan club. Its based on a profile of a mythical creature , I am here to actually meet and have sex with people. Perhaps that is why our views differ so much. I have been married, I have been cheated on, I have had sex with married men, I have had a life of reality and its not always been a pretty life. Perhaps that is why I do not judge others, my views my horizons are broader than some. and my actions have NEVER contributed to a breakdown of a persons marriage, quiet the opposite in fact. and please do not go runny to mumy RHP this is a debate, and you have to cop it on the chin like the rest of us. Its a heated debate, I am answering all the points you made about me and about cavey. I am on topic , and I think my question about you and a married man are valid.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'simplicity2'As someone who was cheated on... which ended a 26 yr marriage... i could never fuck with another woman's family and life... i, like so many others have experienced the pain... i couldn't do that to another woman... and this is our point of view too....i couldnt, as a responsible, intelligent and feeling adult, do to another man, what i had done to me....i lost everything, and i dont mean just possessions...they are replaceable... i lost a life, a future and all the plans we had made together...because in her words...it was 'her body...her choice'. my wife is the same...her guy betrayed her over and over, but instead of being discrete and secretive with it...he tortured her with it all....and she cant do to another what was done to her...it left her alone and broken, which is where i found her a decade ago, people are careless with other peoples lives, and thats just not good enough..how many really consider the potential damage they do when they allow someone else some 'favours'? none i guess....they'd be thinking of themselves only...sex is like that...its very 'me me me'...........
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred'I know this as the pictures people put up here are not the reality of who they really are. Showing just part of you, the part you think is sexy or just part of your personality or building up a false sense of self, is just as harmful to others as fucking a married person. In the end its the lie of omission that does the damage. This, right here, is the bait and switch that I have a problem with. It's not "just as harmful." Not by any stretch. Given the choice, I would much rather discover someone was not as great as they said they were than to discover my partner was cheating on me behind my back.Sure, in the most simplistic sense both might involve deception and a sense of betrayal, but one is far more serious than the other. And this is the problem with the "shades of grey" argument.People like to think that because it's not a black and white world then the 'greyness' means you can't say things are generally right or generally wrong. All you're doing though is replacing a flawed two-tone model (right or wrong) with a three-toned one (totally right, totally wrong, or totally neither.)That's just as flawed. If you're truly talking about a complex world with shades of grey where everything's relative, then you're talking about situations for instance where there's very dark grey or very light grey, and infinite shades in between.It's entirely possible to say some things are more damaging than others, even though superficially they might be based on the same principle.Ps. this got a bit more abstract than I intended, but I hope it's clear enough to follow.
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RHP User
13 years ago
And you don't have to say it. I am admitting the fact I am probably not doing the right thing but I do it anyway. This probably makes me a bad person. :'(- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'What I am saying is that knowingly sleeping with a married person isn't right. I have the balls to admit that I am not doing the right thing and maybe one day I will have to account for that, regardless of their marital agreement. I think saying everyone is doing it, or someone else would do it if I don't is an excuse for the fact that people do it because it suits them too. And that is the reason why I almost never contribute to these discussions as I don't feel I have a right too. As they say, If I was a better person....... I agree that I probably seem hypocritical. Absolutely! I don't think it is hypocritical if you're prepared to acknowledge it in yourself. Samuel Johnson wrote:"Nothing is more unjust, however common, than to charge with hypocrisy him that expresses zeal for those virtues which he neglects to practice; since he may be sincerely convinced of the advantages of conquering his passions, without having yet obtained the victory, as a man may be confident of the advantages of a voyage, or a journey, without having courage or industry to undertake it, and may honestly recommend to others, those attempts which he neglects himself."We're all flawed creatures, but we can still evaluate right from wrong, even if we don't always make the correct choice ourselves.
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