M45
Thankyou forum people
September 28 2022
Thanks for your advice and input in the forum and in the chat.
I’ve decided to come off RHP and refocus. Counselling/psychology etc.
Lots of people deal with what I’m dealing with. I’m not going to be a manchild about it any more and grow up.
I was impressed by the welcoming and empathic response to a guy who was teetering on the edge of cliched self (and other) destruction.
Someday I will come on and tell the story of things work out well.
Good luck, and keep. Keep being great people
Comments
RHP User
2 years ago
@swiperight btw
RHP User
2 years ago
Will miss our chats mate , best of luck
FeistyFatty
2 years ago
Oh no. I'll miss you SwipeR🥹. Enjoyed our chats. My heart still goes out to you and yours. You're doing a really healthy positive thing seeking help. Please report back and don't forget is. Take care of you 💗
MsSuperFoxy
2 years ago
Please come back and report back.
I'd love to hear.
You kind words means alot.
Best of luck.
Ms Foxy 😘Sawadee
2 years ago
Youre very welcome... If l posted something that made sense and you benifitted from it ' l'm happy.. im looking forward to the day we can once again swap our experiences ... take care... 😊.
FeistyFatty
2 years ago
Thankyou 🙏
2EssesExploring
2 years ago
Ah mate, you’ve got your head screwed on right and I’m betting you’ll be back to tell us your successes some time in the not too distant future.
Thoroughly enjoyed chatting to you and will miss the chats.RHP User
2 years ago
❤️🙏
RHP User
2 years ago
It’s a pity the original thread/topic was deleted as it would have been helpful to alot of people , I for one .
teamaj2
2 years ago
Seeking professional help is such a brave good step in the right direction . Life is short , if we need a helping hand to navigate things why not . I found it so helpful whilst my marriage was crumbling around me . It often takes time to find the right practitioner that suits you and one you trust .
Good luck . I’m sure we all wish you the best and look forward to seeing you return to RHP .
AxRHP User
2 years ago
I’m back sooner than I thought.
I have a question. I have the rather wonderful honour of planning a very rare night away for my wife and I. Can I ask some advice. Particularly from the women, how can I build a night which offers the opportunity for exploration, without generating any pressure that this has to happen.
Can we assume that, the place we stay will be pleasant and private. The lead up will involve attention to life in general and that I will pull my weight (or more so). I am not going to immediately whip out a bunch of sex toys and say “how about it then darlin’?” and she is a very smart woman, and will spot “moves” a mile off.
I don’t expect her to turn into a freak overnight, but would like to offer the safety to explore what she wants.teamaj2
2 years ago
Welcome back Solong
I didn’t see your original post but I’m guessing your wife isn’t on the same page as yourself regarding exploration and experiences.
My number one piece of advice is baby steps . My husband had/ has the patience of a saint ( a naughty saint perhaps ) . He made suggestions , planted many seeds , we went toy shopping together , lingerie shopping , he spoke of his wish lists without putting me under any pressure to agree to proceed ,lots of titillating suggestions to arouse my interest .This was a slow slow burn . It took 10 years of being together to really get the show on the road seeing us be with others . Lots of naughty exploration with just us and our imagination along the way .
My point of all the above information? It takes time , patience , trust , honesty to get to where we are . Going away is a great start , getting away from the mundane everyday of home life is important. It may not spark any great exploration or experience but spending time together is a good beginning.
If your wife is a romantic, taking candles with you , having her favourite play list ready to go is good , run her a bath , give her a massage , look at porn together encouraging her to let her imagination go . Obviously it is important to let her progress at her own pace with recriminations or put downs .
I’m uncertain I’ve responded to the exact question with the information at hand . I wish you good luck and lots of fun . AxRHP User
2 years ago
Even reading and writing these posts is helpful, gives some clarity.
RHP User
2 years ago
I'm a huge fan of Esther Perel... she has a great Ted Talk- it's under 20mins... 'The secret to desire in a long-term relationship'.
I really think you'll find the way she frames questions & concepts helpful on such matters.
I don't want to be presumptuous, however speaking from experience sometimes the lack of intimacy stems from a loss of identity.
Ie It isn't always that we are seeking another person but another version of ourselves.
I would suggest... search for the sorts of activities that she naturally loves & gravitates towards. Hopefully in that rekindled place of feeling 'alive' again - desire can spark.
Sorry a little vague but I do hope helpful in some way.
ValerieRHP User
2 years ago
My wife just sat down with me and said, “you know I think we’d be a lot happier if we had more sex!” 🥂 😍
2EssesExploring
2 years ago
Good to see you’re in your way mate!
I’d be sitting down with your wife and discussing what you both want out of the weekend and come up with some ideas together and maybe leave some room to surprise each other as well.
Something simple could be a nice couples massage in your room to relax you both from the start. You could go all erotic with the massage but Knowing what I know so far is opt for just a lovely gentle therapeutic one, this will be enough to get your endorphins flowing as well as some much needed mutual relaxation.
Next?
Well we will drop by around 9pm to see how you’re going 😂RHP User
2 years ago
😂
RHP User
2 years ago
So we had a really shitty attempt at sex the other night. Won’t go into the details, but suffice to say it didn’t leave anyone satisfied. The brilliant thing is we were able to laugh about it the next day. It feels like this is real progress, takes the pressure off a bit. Hopefully next time is more successful!
RHP User
2 years ago
That’s a positive start mate
RHP User
2 years ago
That’s a positive start mate
nightingale8
2 years ago
This isn’t PC. Your special night away? You don’t need to spend it communicating more or cautiously approaching her with a nice massage. The emotionally sensitive man is not the one she wants to f*ck.
Plan the activities, own the space and direct her in it. Tell her she’s beautiful, stroke her and enjoy touch her for the sake of touch. When you kiss her stop short and let her come to you. Decide in yourself you don’t need her to give you permission to approach for sex. You simply create the conditions in which you take care of her and she is not taking care of you. If you want something - a kiss, a rub, hand on her pubic bone - ask her with certainty, in words or actions. You don’t need her to give it to you; you are enough.RHP User
2 years ago
There’s a lot in your post. Thank you for taking the time to reply. I’ll spend some time thinking about it, I may have some questions!
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