M56 F53
Taking one for the team
September 02 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
My hubby and i have a couples profile and our #1 rule is DON'T TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM!Thats pretty much our only real 'rule' but i think its a very valid one since we went into this together so what is the point of 'taking one for the team' i know i for one wouldn't make my hubby sleep with someone if he wasn't actually into them. It'd make me feel awful!! And im glad he wouldnt put me in that position either!I know its hard for all 4 people to click so sometimes you need to make 'exceptions' but i wouldnt enjoy it completly if my partner wasnt having as much fun!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Sal and I were going through a dry patch about a year ago when we first started swinging. We met up with a couple that I swore I would never play with. There was a very deep discussion about taking one for the team, but neither of us were sure which one of us was worse off. So we played and i have bad memories of wobbly, dangly bits. Damn that moment of clarity after you cum.. we both walked out of there with the same faces and shuffle you do when you know you've just sat through a really crap movie. As Sal put it - they were scooters. Fun to play with, but don't tell your mates. A
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mrs Pup being the lovely, giving soul she is has TOFTT before as she didn't want to upset anyone! This really only made me feel bad as it's something I wouldn't ask of her. Mind you I was very impressed at her acting skills, leaves Meg Ryan's fake big O for dead! She promises me she never fakes it with me haha!
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tamworthguy46
16 years ago
Your lucky to have a lady that will do that for you......ohh yeah, and your definatly going to cop a 6pack, and extra viagra in the future lol isn't revenge grand !
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RHP User
16 years ago
It would happen to us occasionally that my partner would decide "at the last minute" not to play with some couples, just to watch. I respected his decision but it took away from my fun as the thing I really enjoy the most is the participation of all involved. It felt like he was TOFTT even if he assured me he wasn't and that made me uncomfortable, also because I so would NOT TOFTT just to please him. No fun unless everyone's having fun IMO.
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RHP User
16 years ago
That is how it is suposed to go. Andy, At least you came!!!! You see, I do not really care about dry spells, I totally believe I took one for the team there, I think we have had times where I have settled for less for the sake of Andy and play, however, I should point out that he has done the same....It happens when the couple or girl we play with are all over me and Andy feels like I am getting all the attention. This seems to happen when couples settle on play with another couple because they can not get a female, and females are under the misconception poor Andy gets off on watching...Actually I am going to add that to our profile...We do not get off on watching our partner have all the fun! Equal play for all is number one rule and that leads straight to rule number two, not taking one for the team. Lesson learnt there by both of us. x Sal
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RHP User
16 years ago
I reckon it's far more difficult for guys to take one for the team. I mean, my dick knows what it likes. Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thats all to true gazzz ;-)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'tamworthguy38' Your lucky to have a lady that will do that for you......ohh yeah, and your definatly going to cop a 6pack, and extra viagra in the future lol isn't revenge grand ! Meah, that kind of revenge sounds pretty good to me, Mister! :p Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well thanks for the male support there Tamworth and Gazza,NOT.Mrs Pip is laughing her arse off about pay back.But in my defense I was unaware at the time that she was taking one for the team as she's never been big on peoples looks,so I thought it was all good.So I really dont think there should be any pay back,I think we should just let it go. I love you Mrs Pip and truly if I had of known you were TOFTT I would have never let it happen. Thats probably not gonna work guys but it might soften the blow. Mr pip
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RHP User
16 years ago
hehe... lolz... I'm sure you can TOFTT, Mr Pip! Somethings you should try at least once in your life and you know what they say... lube up, open your mind and your legs will follow :p Hugs Gaz
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RHP User
16 years ago
SalAndy : Equal play for all is number one rule and that leads straight to rule number two, not taking one for the team. Lesson learnt there by both of us. We can generally pick the couples profiles that are really only looking for a female, then they decide to play with the couple so they get the female play they desired. Meanwhile the male gets minimal attention and feels like a by stander, not what was expected in couples equal play. TOFTT: This happened to me earlier this year when we met a couple with a very ordinary male physically, which I normally don't focus too much on anyway. A lovely fun personality & personal demeanor is the main attraction for me. After all a picture can be very harsh, chatting on the phone you may warm to them, then on meeting in person you find the persons picture wasn't a flattering one. On play night he showed a truly arrogant & rude side, quite often speaking to his wife in another language and seemed to be competing with my husband sexually. Not an enjoyable evening and I was relieved & glad to hear him climax and leave with his lovely wife. Our motto since that night is "If in doubt, don't". Cheers, Shell
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RHP User
16 years ago
TOFTT.....when it comes to "TOFTT" we dont think anyone should have to do that for their other half and it doesnt have to have anything to do with looks either. We believe that if you are attracted to the person mentally the sex is so much better than doing the deed with someone that you dont like as a person no matter how hot they are. We do have our likes and dislikes ie. age,size etc but they all can be negated if we are attracted to their personality. If their is one thing this site has taught us it is to not judge a book by its cover. I know I wouldnt want to be on the recieving end of someone taking one for the team either... Mr C
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2more4fun
16 years ago
I recall meeting a few couples that were a bit like that but at the end of the day, it has to be about mutual enjoyment, especially if you're hoping for a long term friendship/play friends. How can anyone really be happy having sex with someone who is just going through the motions so that his/her partner can get their rocks off? I guess some people can be better actors than others but we're pretty good at sussing things out these days.I remember fairly early on in the game when we met a couple and we kinda just ended up at their hotel room after dinner (as you do) and did the deed. We discussed afterwards that we both felt half-hearted about it all and it turned out we BOTH took one for the team... Loss-Loss!! We live and learn :)
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piercedfun
16 years ago
offers to buy mrs 6 schooners lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
Sozzy can't do it, defeats the purpose of enhancing your experiences. Anything in this lifestyle "enjoyed" as a married couple should be mutually beneficial and pleasurable, anything else to use is just a no go zone ..... Peace out ....
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mrs PHot, how bout i make it up to ya, he only thinking about himself at the time, he can have my boyfriend (taking one for the team) while we enjoy each other. xxoo
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RHP User
16 years ago
my ex and I did this soo many times ...the joys of being young means u can easily be manipulated I bet the old geazers loved it!!word of advise DONT DO IT and if ur partner is pressuring u to then he or she is not worth it either that just means they r dam selfish!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting HotAzIce: " taking one for the team... my ex and I did this soo many times ...the joys of being young means u can easily be manipulated I bet the old geazers loved it!!"You are very negative in the forums about being older... which reminded me that Mr P and I were talking with friends the other day about how much faster the clock starts ticking down after you turn 21. I thought you should realise that you're well on the way to being an old geezer (ask any teenager roflmfao) and that, as Judge Judy would say, "beauty fades... dumb is forever" On the topic of taking one for the team... we got ourselves into the position where one of us was more interested in the idea of playing with someone than the other. It didn't work out and caused hurt. We wouldn't consider play without equal interest on both our parts now! Cheers MrsP
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RHP User
16 years ago
lmfao Mrs P.. "Beauty fades but dumb is forever" ~ I gotta watch more mid-day TV... hehe.... On the subject of the inevitable old geezer... that's a relative situation. I met an ol' geezer yesterday while I was having dinner... and of course, he thought I was a dumb kid. If you ever read the bible you see that for some reason, back there, lots of ol' geezers lived for 800 years or something.... and there's some story about people only living to 125 years from then forth... "Only" 125 years...... but really, if you take those old stories and consider that we have lost many technologies through flood, fire or famine... e.g. The entombed warriors, some of them were buried 2000 years ago with electroplated swords.. technology we thought we invented last century (google it) ... but the great fire that destroyed the Ancient Roman Library at Alexandria .. within those walls for example, might have been the organic recipe for the chemical trigger that enables mankind to live to 800... just imagine if that chemical trigger was rediscovered... imagine how trite this discussion about being 21 - 60 year old would sound to the 800 year old modern day Noah! In our lifetime there's a fair bet that we will all live longer than our parents... that's the age we live in... Viagra is going to be very useful in future! If an old geiser having sex is 40 years old.... what's it going to be like having sex with a double centenarian!! I mean put your teeth back in and fashion me a new penis bebe cause I'm gonna be worn out by then! Warm hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
Lol Gaz...Hmm, being taken for a ride or taken advantage of by old geezers? That is further proof of why I do not like to play with the youngins! Maturity!!! Now perhaps at 21 you are too young to be playing with such ideas as swinging if you are unable to take responsibility for your actions... Andy and I have both taken one for the team at some point I am sure, but it wont happen again. Not the fault of our playmates, our fault for not being honest or not speaking up...lesson learnt and we move on. xx Sal
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RHP User
16 years ago
you carnt take one for the team lee and i spoke about this when we started and it has worked if one is not happy than we say thanks for a good nite and leave get the ground rules down before you start and you will have a better nite barry and leah
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RHP User
16 years ago
yes we too have done it , but it will never happen again, our rule now is , if we both dont agree, it dont happen. no discussion is entered into, if its not fun, dont do it. there were reasons why we did do it , but we should have stayed just friends, the chemistry in play mode just wasnt there. communication is very inportant.we have now moved to the dark side, bdsm & communication is more important than ever. all cpls should have rules or signals if you wish for when to cut & run or when enough is enough. the rules you make with each other , should never be broken for anybody if you want to keep your other half happy & keep on playing.
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RHP User
16 years ago
When we do a swap it's always important that she wants to do it as well as me. I'm concerned my partner won't speak up if she's not attacted to the man.
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RHP User
16 years ago
TEAM stand for together everyone achieves more
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'HotazIce' my ex and I did this soo many times ...the joys of being young means u can easily be manipulated I bet the old geazers loved it!!word of advise DONT DO IT and if ur partner is pressuring u to then he or she is not worth it either that just means they r dam selfish!!Good advice HotazIce - you shouldn't be pressured into it but if you are happy to accomodate your partner as he/she is really keen then that's ok. I've 'taken one for the team' because I knew how keen my ex was to do this older guy - so while I was with his wife I spent most of my time watching my ex enjoy herself so in an indirect way I enjoyed it too.By the way, how old were these 'old geazers' you accommodated? ?The couple we did were in their late 50's, while we were both 20.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I couldn't agree more with Sal on this... a fact we all need to be aware of is that this site is a place we're likely to come across 'players' of many ages and profile types seeking anything from friendship to relationships. It is up to us to work out what is and isn't working for us asap and take control so that we at least know we're putting in the effort to make the most of our time on RHP... Quoting 'jonnysilver69' Quoting 'HotazIce' my ex and I did this soo many times ...the joys of being young means u can easily be manipulated I bet the old geazers loved it!!word of advise DONT DO IT and if ur partner is pressuring u to then he or she is not worth it either that just means they r dam selfish!!Good advice HotazIce - you shouldn't be pressured into it but if you are happy to accomodate your partner as he/she is really keen then that's ok. I've 'taken one for the team' because I knew how keen my ex was to do this older guy - so while I was with his wife I spent most of my time watching my ex enjoy herself so in an indirect way I enjoyed it too.By the way, how old were these 'old geazers' you accommodated? ?The couple we did were in their late 50's, while we were both 20. Quoting 'SalAndy' Lol Gaz...Hmm, being taken for a ride or taken advantage of by old geezers? That is further proof of why I do not like to play with the youngins! Maturity!!! Now perhaps at 21 you are too young to be playing with such ideas as swinging if you are unable to take responsibility for your actions... Andy and I have both taken one for the team at some point I am sure, but it wont happen again. Not the fault of our playmates, our fault for not being honest or not speaking up...lesson learnt and we move on. xx Sal
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RHP User
16 years ago
Why oh why hasn’t someone invented a time machine yet. Yep we have taken one for the team ...when I say we I mean msamoueux. When we ventured into swinging ...gosh a couple of years ago now, we did so with eagerness, bright eyes, shaved tails and a whopping dose of naivety. Surely everyone we are going to meet will be like us.... footloose carefree and fun to be with (translation functioning, angst free, and GOOD AT SEX). Our first few forays into our new chosen sport were met with dysfunction both physically and emotionally, it was only third time lucky we met a couple that restored our faith in the scene. So without even agreeing to it msa had taken one for the team, for us we hadn’t even recognized it as that yet. It wasn’t until we had spent a few unpleasant hours with a couple where msa was basically abused by a guy who was supposed to be rocking her world that it hit home to me what was going on. (yeah I’m a bit slow...most blokes are). I must add that msa has the acting skills similar to puppy post “Mind you I was very impressed at her acting skills, leaves Meg Ryan's fake big O for dead! She promises me she never fakes it with me ha-ha!” This is a team sport ...you play as a team ie in your own division both weight age and skill level, learn to pass the ball, look out for each other and play to win. Everything else is golf.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Never ever should either partner be asked to participate with anyone they dont find attractive, just so the other partner can get their rocks off!!... It makes a mockery of what a partnership is all about, as well as usually making the person whos taking the "hit", feel like an unpaid hooker.We had the situation once where I (mrsb) had to do just that and it changed my whole perception of the "swing" life. I cant presume to know why other couples take up this lifestyle, but for us it was about finding "fantasy" playmates and seeing/sharing the enjoyment that each other obtained from these liaisons.If you do end up in a "play" situation and your partner isnt doing it for you then tell them and end the session. I have had to do that before too. And sadly there a lot of people out there that are lousy in the sack lol.To feel like we have to compromise why we started this lifestyle, would really just take away the whole reason we do it. It should be something that enhances and strengthens an already good sex life. NOT just an excuse to shag anything that moves.
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