M40
Spirals,bubbles and beauty..........
May 28 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can pin point the 2 times in my life I screwed Up and im positive if I had of taken that road my life would be soooo totally different....but you can't change the past so be happy in the now. Which I am :-) Hugs roxxy
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RHP User
14 years ago
I often think about that film Sliding Doors.It was not a great film, but the premise was.What happens if you turn left,as opposed to what happens if you turn right.How would your life change?Who would you be with now, if you had made a different choice about a partner. The job you didn't take,the person you almost, but didn't meet,the trip you didn't make. I am an opportunist,I try and live my life without fear of change,for me,change is a process not an event. Take the opportunities as they come along.Sometimes as Robert Burns famously said...."The best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft a-gley"...doesn't matter how well we plan ,life happens. Good luck on your journey Irish,and be happy in your choices,whatever they are,and whever they lead you. x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm one of those rational-thinking people who like to carefully weigh up the pros and cons of each respective opportunity before making my decision; its always been a trait of mine, and unfortunately it does mean that I tend to over-analyse matters at times when decisions can be made quite simply. Lately however, I've been taking the more impulsive, irrational choice, and they've been the best I've ever made. Once I've made my decision, there's no point in considering the 'what ifs'...life is too short and we have many more choices to make in the future as it is without dwelling on the past.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've always wanted to have multiple lives. So much I want to do, so little time. I'd love to be an intrepid traveller, wandering from ashram to seaside village with a backpack on my back and no schedule. I'd love to be a corporate high flyer, influencing big business decisions and being paid handsomely for it. I'd love to live in a cute little white timber cottage with a lovely sea view. I love to live in Italy, or Bolivia, or Bali, or all of the above. I'd love to love someone and have them love me like we're the only two people on the earth, living a simple country life, growing organic veggies, with our very own menagerie. I'd love to live in the jungle and volunteer with orang utans. I could go on and on :) Choice is a blessing and a curse. For everything you choose there's something else you might have to miss out on. I've learned that you can live many lives, one after another, if you remain free in your mind and heart. And I've learned that one significant choice now doesn't mean you have to give up all of everything else - you can usually fit a little bit of other adventures into your life while you're having the big one that is your current choice. I try to live with a vision or goal for what I want to experience next in my life, but to be spontaneous and whimsical when opportunities for fun and adventure crop up. I choose to learn rather than regret. Still, in spite of a very full and often exciting life, I've learnt that love is more important than anything else. My heart aches for that but my choices have left my life void of it. In that respect, yes, I took a right where I should have taken a left. And that, seeing as you so kindly asked, is my story :) 26 is a common time to ask these questions - Saturn Returns :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
"Life's what happens while your busy making plans" John Lennon...I think. Though yeah...I have some times pondered what life might of been like at times.If I had a time machine so I could go back and take the other path...would I, Nope....I am actually pretty happy and contented with things as they are, great wife and sons, good job, had a lot of really good experiences, as well as the tough times, ambitions for the future, and a game plan to get us there.Cheers Felonius
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RHP User
14 years ago
i'm a big believer in that, 'things happen for a reason'... even those little coincidences, which for me, i don't find so coincidental actually. Some people push them aside and say "shit, that was weird, or how strange"... i think there's lessons to be learnt in those moments! Obviously we have arrived at this point in our lives because of the choice's we've made, and the knowledge in which we've made these choices which i think is what makes up our present reality, however having said that... some aren't as fortunate as others in that they don't have a choice. Situations prevail. i have a preferred reality also, am i there yet? Nope... am i happy, yes to some extent. I'd be lying if i said i was completely happy, but i have no regrets either. This can only dis-empower you and bring you down. Us humans are so quick to put ourselves down, and very slow in rewarding or praising ourselves i believe. This can, for some, evolve into a self-hate relationship within ourselves. My main gig in life has always been to evolve spiritually and emotionally, so this is what i strive for. Thoughts have a lot of power, as do words, so i try to insert more positive one's than negative. Tricky sometimes but.have you ever made yourself that angry, when everything settles down you have a brief word to yourself and says "shit coodi, that was powerful and out of control don't you think"... and then your softer side says "if you can make yourself that shitty, so easily and so quickly.... imagine how happy you can make yourself too"
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am not where I want to be....YET! Yes there are things I should have done differently in the past and things always seem more obvious in hindsight but I cannot go back, I can not undo what has been done, I can only go forward as best I can and without that all important crystal ball....the future will continue to be a struggle as well. . At this age I know what I want and I know how to go about getting it. Vastly different than from when I was in my 20's. . Still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up and stop playing in the sandpit though!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Make a choice back it up...live and learn through the benefit of hindsight and self analysis, don't be too hard on yourself (the first time ;) and regret nothing.Had a couple of those moments but I am an optimist and can draw positives from anything- though it took a while with one of them. I wouldn't be who I am if anything was different so I accept my past and my choices. If there is something I don't like I try to change it either physically or mentally......I believe in adaptation and resilience; there are too many what if's.......what if I left the house 10 min earlier? What if I stayed home? What if I did? What if I didn't? What if I can't? What if I don't? What if I wait? What if I stop what if I start what if I blah blah it's pointless and wasteful try, change, grow :) Use your mind as a guide, your heart as a meter and always give your gut the last word :)Cass xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Oh, the gulf between where I want to be, and where I am, feels massive at the moment. However, I'm doing thing in my life, and working towards certain goals, that will see that gulf dimish rather rapidly once everything starts falling into place.I try not to despair too much about it, and just keep plodding along and doing the little things that make the now enoyable and practical, as well as planning for what is going to make my future fulfilled and worthwhile.I have no regrets other than not taking control of my last relationship and ending it two years earlier, and that's not such a regret, more of a lesson I have learnt.
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RHP User
14 years ago
What if I die tomorrow :)Cass xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
should give you a feeling of something good irish44 - don't think that everyone has this type of reflective thought....at least at your age. Don't think that this that you feel is not a great thing.From my experience - and a saving you from a long story, its is not the choices we make that are as significant as the thought we put into them reflectively - irrespective of the amount of thought we invested in them prior to making them.I truly believe, and through my lens see it reinforced by my journey, that when we make choices we choose paths which are all that we have to work with - these are all that we can know. The rest is just conjecture - but that doesn't make it worthless to reflect. Through reflection we have the ability to change the way we think about anything and therefore enable us to grow as people in the future. Without true reflection we merely tread water and never achieve the profound changes which come from growth.this might sound a bit wanky but i believe it to be true. All we really know is how and what we think about things. There are many choices which i have made or avoided making which have at times made me wonder the "what if..." referred to by multiples. What may feel at a certain point to be the pain of a "wrong" choice previously made, is often the pain which we need to experience to understand ourselves, to explore as we need, to free us to find the us that we seek. To avoid pain is easy....it requires no action, no bravery, no thought and no honesty. To endure the angst which often comes from the hard choices we make takes courage, insight, time and openness. The lens by which we frame things is our unique individuality and the key to our completeness - understanding of our selves takes times, i think - or at least it has for me, but often in hindsight i have been able to see the connections between the choices i have made and the positive repercussions which have connected back to those choices...even the ones which felt "wrong" some point after.I agree with angelic - love is one of the keys - pure love, which if you give unexpectedly, unconditionally and with the power of giving - is returned in spades and magnitudes of swiss mountain proportions :) - sometimes its the love which one gives to oneself to make the choices that one need to make at a given time which is the most profound love of all.See what i mean - Long even without my story! lolNot wanting to give therapy (i gave at the office :) lol), nor wanky patronising babble - but i do come with age and some level of insight...so in short reflect as much as you need - listen to reflections and be kind to yourself in understanding the the reasons for the choices you've made which have got you to this point. I would argue that you will find new understanding which will propel you much higher down the track - but please note, its not easy.Good luck and thank you for posting an interesting topic.2b :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
on the cusp of turning 40 - this has only become a realisation to me relatively recently - the last couple of years...the result of some pretty nuclear level life decisions which had wider fallout than just my life...life - its called journey fro a reason!2b :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
a quote from one of my fav movies, it's deep, and out there.... but relevant to the topic"What is the greatest necromancer that haunts people that no one has given him the permission to look at and to become.The hated, the despised, the despicable, the fornicator, the con artist, the liar, the deceiver..... and yet, because it is so depressed, and suppressed..... It is the one faculty that never became... and that, is closer to who we are, than the fictitious valentines of love that we have collected like old pages that are rotting out of our book of life... we can't even remember who wrote them. So... does hate, of self, self-incrimination, bring us nearer to a vassal called truth..... Yes it does.... cause it tells us who we really are, because that's the one aspect of our self, that we have never, ever been able to adorn. And unless we analogically become that, we cannot succeed to the throne of enlightenment"
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RHP User
14 years ago
does that quote mean that until one wears their hate and understands the drivers for their hate - i.e. sits in and explores it - one can't move past that hate? Hence through hate comes true enlightenment of self?if so - i'd tend to argue that the place past hate is pure love - love can't be pure without the absence of hate and hate can only be silenced by true understanding - understanding of self.if thats what it means then i free - if not, then im clearly not getting it...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'coodi_yowie' a quote from one of my fav movies, it's deep, and out there.... but relevant to the topic"What is the greatest necromancer that haunts people that no one has given him the permission to look at and to become.The hated, the despised, the despicable, the fornicator, the con artist, the liar, the deceiver..... and yet, because it is so depressed, and suppressed..... It is the one faculty that never became... and that, is closer to who we are, than the fictitious valentines of love that we have collected like old pages that are rotting out of our book of life... we can't even remember who wrote them. So... does hate, of self, self-incrimination, bring us nearer to a vassal called truth..... Yes it does.... cause it tells us who we really are, because that's the one aspect of our self, that we have never, ever been able to adorn. And unless we analogically become that, we cannot succeed to the throne of enlightenment"Im glad you out that Quote up,i think about those words a lot.And its a very,very good Documentary.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting '2balloons' does that quote mean that until one wears their hate and understands the drivers for their hate - i.e. sits in and explores it - one can't move past that hate? Hence through hate comes true enlightenment of self?if so - i'd tend to argue that the place past hate is pure love - love can't be pure without the absence of hate and hate can only be silenced by true understanding - understanding of self.if thats what it means then i free - if not, then im clearly not getting it... i like your definition very much...... that's what i get out of it too
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'irish44you' Quoting 'coodi_yowie' a quote from one of my fav movies, it's deep, and out there.... but relevant to the topic"What is the greatest necromancer that haunts people that no one has given him the permission to look at and to become.The hated, the despised, the despicable, the fornicator, the con artist, the liar, the deceiver..... and yet, because it is so depressed, and suppressed..... It is the one faculty that never became... and that, is closer to who we are, than the fictitious valentines of love that we have collected like old pages that are rotting out of our book of life... we can't even remember who wrote them. So... does hate, of self, self-incrimination, bring us nearer to a vassal called truth..... Yes it does.... cause it tells us who we really are, because that's the one aspect of our self, that we have never, ever been able to adorn. And unless we analogically become that, we cannot succeed to the throne of enlightenment"Im glad you out that Quote up,i think about those words a lot.And its a very,very good Documentary. ... it should be taught in schools
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RHP User
14 years ago
Actually, I'm pretty happy with were I am path wise. Life is interesting and that makes me smile.There are sure things I'd like to work on. But I'm not far off where I'd like to be as far as who I am. As far as life's path is concerned, maybe i'd like just a little more money.. But wouldn't we all? :-)But I'll go away and think about this question more.. It's a good one..
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RHP User
14 years ago
i believe that things tend to happen for a reason...even if we can't see it at the time...often a while down the track we realize, why things turned out, the way they did...it's a bit of morbid example...but it's a little, like when you get pissed off, cause you missed your bus...then you run into someone, who is/or becomes very important...never would have happened, if you got on that bus...lolwe are where we are in life, because of the choices we made...and most of the time, we try to make the best choices with the knowledge we have/had at the time....so why second guess our selves a year down the track...?there are no coincidences...and we are all part of/connected to something bigger, than our selves ...i am not talking about religion here...just that sense, that we are all connected...there is an interesting book, called the "illusions" by Richard Bach....a few of my favourite quotes...." What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. ""Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you. ""Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a false messiah. "
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've never thought too much about decisions made along the way, even when they were wrong, and even when I was unhappy. There's no point being any other way. Past decisions made simply lead us to where we are. We are here, so we were always going to make them that way.What's important is the decisions made from here on, because from here there are any number of paths we can travel. Of course, if you don't know where you are going, then any road will get you there (thanks Lewis Carroll).If you understand where you want to be, then you can evaluate the path most likely to get you there and take it. Inevitably there will be some wrong turns. No problem, just try to make sure they are short - fail fast and try again.The only real failure is a failure to make a decision and take a path. Everything else is either a step towards your goal or a failed experiment to learn from.So not sure what you are thinking Irish, but don't think about it too much. No choice is the worst choice when at a crossroads.Cheers,Mr C
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'coodi_yowie' Quoting '2balloons' does that quote mean that until one wears their hate and understands the drivers for their hate - i.e. sits in and explores it - one can't move past that hate? Hence through hate comes true enlightenment of self?if so - i'd tend to argue that the place past hate is pure love - love can't be pure without the absence of hate and hate can only be silenced by true understanding - understanding of self.if thats what it means then i free - if not, then im clearly not getting it... i like your definition very much...... that's what i get out of it too coodi - good quote - what's it from?PS "...I free" was meant to be "...I agree.." but the wisdom of RHP auto correct saw it differently lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
the movie is 'What the bleep... down the rabbit hole' (orange cover)the original was 'What the bleep do we know' (blue cover).... get the one mentioned above though. It's basically an extended version of the first movie
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RHP User
14 years ago
This is indeed a fantastic movie.I think we have so many artifices,so many attachments to material things , to negative emotions,to our status,to spending time doing rather than contemplating and being still,that we have no idea who we are. When all of this is stripped away ,what is left ?Who are we? Shakumuni Buddha went on a journey to discover truth.He left everything,his life of priviledge,his family,to arrive at a place where he realized emptiness,that truth is to believe in everything,and to believe in nothing.x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
This is indeed a fantastic movie.I think we have so many artifices,so many attachments to material things , to negative emotions,to our status,to spending time doing rather than contemplating and being still,that we have no idea who we are. When all of this is stripped away ,what is left ?Who are we? Shakumuni Buddha went on a journey to discover truth.He left everything,his life of priviledge,his family,to arrive at a place where he realized emptiness,that truth is to believe in everything,and to believe in nothing.x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
1. Cheers Coodie - will check it out.....sounds interesting 2. Hesione - I agree. Our western capitalism model required ever growing growth - to fuel that growth we must either: a) consume more b) consume the same at ever increasing prices c) consume the same at the same prices - but increase the number of consumers * d) all of the aboveFact not criticism.But....to my mind this is more a symptom and outcome rather than the core issue.Without going on and on and on about it :) - its more the thinking we ascribe to as a society. We are only human - so its not that we should feel bad about this - hence we consume more and satiate (even if just in the moment) or consumptive, easy fix weaknesses. We're only human - it was inevitable!Before I digress too far, i liked your post. I believe - and linked to above - all we are left with is the truth we believe....all we have and i feel have ever have is what we think - literally!. Our journey, i think, is to come to terms with our thinking and when we truly do - we achieve what buddha sought and found. The process along the way is our learning and growth - these are the towns in our respective journeys.* The most efficient tool for this is debt. This explains a lot of things (either by conscious intent or unconscious consequences) - wars of ideology and frameworks (middle east); the gfc; European markets; China, india - even africa, soon.Now to anyone who want to whinge that this is a sex site and this shouldn't be here - please feel free, but note the following...I might be 2broad in my definition - but economics meets philosophy plus thinking ....That is sexy!2b :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
I agree x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'coodi_yowie' the movie is 'What the bleep... down the rabbit hole' (orange cover)the original was 'What the bleep do we know' (blue cover).... get the one mentioned above though. It's basically an extended version of the first movie I would second that motion with bells attached....
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