F62
Some good advice for a FWB "relationship" - Distracted from Adult Shop - Author being Mal.
October 26 2014
Comments
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MissBishere
11 years ago
I think that covered everything. I still want one.
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RHP User
11 years ago
So when so you start calling your FWB your BF ? :p
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RHP User
11 years ago
yep, me too
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RHP User
11 years ago
Gawd... You mean you have to talk to each other about feelings? Tops. My favourite thing to do.... not!! ⊂(◉‿◉)つ
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RHP User
11 years ago
Worth a read tho if you can bare it. It is on their web site of course. Oh Meeka - When you are BOTH open and honest about your feelings. Boy Friend sounds so young school lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
Jeezuz.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It sounds better than saying my partner. That sounds too serious and grown up. Just reeks of commitment. *shudder*
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RHP User
11 years ago
"My Partner" hahaha I dislike the term as well. I would much rather say "My Bitch"
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RHP User
11 years ago
Communicate... Negotiate... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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MsJonesy
11 years ago
Respect Honesty
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RHP User
11 years ago
You are missing the most important word..........Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex hehe
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think it's human nature to become emotionally attached to someone when you see them for a long period of time. The problem is how do you express these emotions to someone without them thinking you want the whole picket fence and 5 babies thing? I've found that the more time I spend with someone the better I want to get to know them. How many men don't head for the hills when you tell them this? Is a 3 or 4 meet policy the way to go? After that just simply walk away and then no one gets hurt. Something to consider perhaps. I agree with communicate, negotiate, honesty and respect, but that still doesn't guarantee you won't get hurt. Some people just aren't emotionally available.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Paramour.Mon paramor,n'est pas?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why do you have to tell someone that L4Q? Why not just go with the flow and see where things go? It can take a long time to build up trust and feelings with someone.... It's too freaky when someone starts speaking about emotions and questioning where this is going after what 5-6 times? Is that what you are saying? Or even after a few months really. Relax, stop worrying about what is going to happen next week.
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6exxy
11 years ago
Learning here. All news for me as it does seem a minefield. Something I need to learn about! FWB?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't get why we need to label everything... Boyfriend, girlfriend, FB, fwb...? Who cares? if you like sex and hanging out with someone do it... I don't think relationships are linear and I don't think they need to be going anywhere... So then there is no reason to label it and you can just relax, play and enjoy being with the person for any amount of time you may choose to spend together... Xxviolet
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Don't make it any more difficult than it has to be, I easier if you just go with it and enjoy it, whatever it might be........well it's working for me this way......💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
Because I'm a talker, I communicate, I say what I think and feel. That's just part of who I am. FB's are great but every now and again you meet people who have a bigger impact on your life. Maybe I do talk to much, who knows?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I understand. But I was just trying to make the point that some people are not so comfortable talking about it. To be honest if someone starting speaking like that after a few dates that would totally freak me out. It takes a very long time for me to be totally open to someone else. So for me, I would probably pull away and start thinking the other person was too needy. But if they had respected my feelings and given me more time who knows were things could have led.
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RHP User
11 years ago
is it fair to entrap someone with emotions who never had any intention of seeing how things go? As Kissk said, communication and respect go a long way from both parties. I think in FWB arrangement you are obligated to let someone know if you are getting emotionally attached then you can take it from there.
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RHP User
11 years ago
How do you get emotionally attached after 5 dates? You are just in lust.
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6exxy
11 years ago
How do you deal with that?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why Ralf? If you are emotionally attached to someone... What is that supposed to mean? Doesn't change anything. Right? Or are you saying that you wan things to become exclusive?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '6exxy' How do you deal with that? You go with the flow I guess. Though know the boundaries if there are boundaries in place.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Of course you will have a connection, and with some FWB it can become very strong. You may come to care for each other, love each other. That is just normal.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some people mix the two up and some don't. Some do fall in "love" after a few months or in the least develop some kind of feeling. We are all unique in how we perceive life/love/frienships
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Of course you will have a connection, and with some FWB it can become very strong. You may come to care for each other, love each other. That is just normal.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I understand where Meeka is coming from in not overanalysing things. I have recently been told by a fwb that I talk too much and should just enjoy the sex. Fair enough call. However, when you have repeat encounters, it is only natural to build up a rapport. And it is only natural for one person to start thinking that this might be leading to something more than what the other person thinks. Which is where the communication Looking4Quality mentions before there is a misunderstanding of expectations.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I'm still semi-in an arrangement that's gone from a casual thing to a living together thing to geography crippling our thing to relocating (if I'm totally homest with myself) to hopefully continue our thing. What was once 3/4 entire nights/wk waking up in each others arms is now maybe once every 6-8wks. I believe there is respect and love between us....maybe a little longing on his part when he allows it; definately on mine but there's nothing I can do about it.....it is what it is. He has always encouraged me to find the love I deserve because he isn't in a position to give that to me. I once asked him to collar me, he wouldn't do that either; and that was the right thing to do for both of us I guess. I've started meeting other people, trying new things; have only had my head turned by one man recently and it's been about 4yrs since any guy besides Him. Unfortunately I've come to the conclusion that single men are a hell of alot more complicated than married ones. Because let's face it a considerable amount of married person's will seek out a FWB arrangement as has been said, to fulfil kinks, famtasies, desires unfulfilled within their current marriage/relationship. I don't really have any advice here other than what has been said about honesty, communication, regular reassessment of your "relationship" because that is exactly what it is especially in excess of 18mths or so. (Sigh) the single gent I was considering has baggage..is younger..perhaps I can help him work through that but I don't see us progressing to anything substantial as he isn't able and well ..... my mind and heart is elsewhere. Thing is when feelings become involved string theory becomes more complex than ever. Talk, share no matter how hard it is, if it freaks them they'll run. If they feel anything for you other than a hard on they'll stand by you as best they can. He and I chat openly about feelings, I know he loves me in his own fashion but I also know he can't love me the way I would like someone to. I think the most important fact to absorb is when your FWB says outright that it will never be the picket fence scenario you BELIEVE THEM.....it's the kindest thing you can do for you and in time letting them go will be the most loving thing to do for BOTH OF YOU. That slow dance is intoxicating though and just because your holding hands now doesn't mean you'll be taking long showers until the wee hours of the morning (soft, humorous, ironic smile) Indy, I'm not "nice" Q just a little naive 😏 despite the "knowing look" I seem to be renowned for 😳
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RHP User
11 years ago
One I developed a very keen fondness of and the other he of me. It certainly made me sit back and take a good look at both situations and I have to say I am totally honest and up front these days. If a potential FWB is not interested in the "go with the flow" and see what happens - I bail or I keep the friendship purely non sexual.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just keep it sexual. Do you do sleep overs Inspirit? I am not a fan of sleepovers myself.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't like to be in their domain. I have done when first joining RHP though they were just one nighters as per-say. (Kid in the candy shop syndrome hehehe) I can't be bothered with the "just sex" trip anymore, I find it boring - Each to their own though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
that killed the moment , the deaths in the detail FWB = f@#!ing why bother...knots
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Just keep it sexual. Do you do sleep overs Inspirit? I am not a fan of sleepovers myself. I have found sleepovers alters the relationship especially when you have +1's as the +1 might do something that your partner normally does and this can cause friction, the issues of the 'play' expanding into normal days was something I had not anticipated.
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RHP User
11 years ago
everything has a use by date, nothing is forever. So what ever you have with someone enjoy it don't think....to much.......just the now counts. When someone wants to see you again or you him tell them....when it is not the same for him....so be it. And what will be will be....we are all so CAREFUL that's not living. I don't like all the words..............lover is it for me......deep sensual respectful lovers. What more can I say.....I enjoy the company of fine males the one who clicks with me......there is no time limit. We share we part, we meet again we part. What happens happens.....that's it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I wait for no one. I am 57, I am here now......and now is NOW......everywhere where I look someone has to leave this earth. When men want to play the waiting game then so be it, I don't play it. I enjoy what is in front of me......and don't think anything more.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Its a bit like Poker. First you have to know who you are playing with, how they react to things.Then you have to work out what you can offer in a situation, as in where on the table are you sitting before you decide what to do. Relationships are a game of strategy and also emotion, a bit like poker. You can get off balance and blow it if you push to much to soon. Sometimes shit happens, we meet someone and find that before long they are taking your heart with them on a ride that can be a bit frightening. I have seen women jump of that moving train, because they are too afraid of getting hurt. Funny that we want love and attachment and someone to care for us, but its also terrifying. How long is a ball of string, depends on who is holding the ends of it. The big danger is for single women. If a man gives you that boyfriend experience if he makes you feel something special, if your nipples get hard when you think that's him calling, then you may find yourself wanting a boyfriend, and he is just wanting a fuck. No matter how hard a guy tries to communicate, he can fail if he too good at what he does. He may say, baby you fuck so good ,and I fucking love your pussy And she will hear, marry me and have my babies. My husband calls this the bonk site, and he laughs when I tell him women do meet guys off here for relationships. But I told him the same woman is on rhp and then on another normal date site, so what is the difference. He just smiled and shakes his head, it is his man speak. So men, I guess do have different ideas of what a fwb is. My be we should all put what fwb means to us as individuals. I have a few they are guys that I can talk to in bed and have great sex with, that I never go out with at all. But that would be a married woman's FWB not a single girls.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' I don't like to be in their domain. I have done when first joining RHP though they were just one nighters as per-say. (Kid in the candy shop syndrome hehehe) I can't be bothered with the "just sex" trip anymore, I find it boring - Each to their own though. I have to agree, its not often I will do a random anymore. I might if a guy picks me up offline as the chemistry just might be right and the timing. But I have changed my profile to now want a regular lover and local. The Candy shop is great, i have had a lot of fun stuffing myself with some amazing experiences, but find that regular partners seem to do it for me now. I can also play all kinds of games with them as we now know what floats each others boat. We can talk in and out of bed and keep in touch so there is that nice human connection as well. New sex is always hot and kinky but its like eating candy floss. Lots of sugar and lots of hot air
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
It's like every thing in life, it's the way you approach/look at things. You need to be honest with yourself first and then to the other person involved. If your going to lie to yourself about your wants, needs, expectations, then you can't expect to be honest with someone else. Lay it all out on the table, know where you both stand, what expectations you have if any, then go from there...... Enjoy it, take a risk, if it's not what you want then move on, but be honest in what you want and what you are looking for..... This is just the way I look at life, I don't have expectation, because with expectations comes disappointment, don't be a woman that needs a man, be a woman that a man needs, take risks, enjoy your experiences, don't make life and all the facets of it more difficult than it already is, be honest, love yourself and own your life, because you are the only one that can make it work for you...... Sorry rant over now.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
Can imagine trying to get a word in and it's just not happening....
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RHP User
11 years ago
thank god I'm not single....there's more rules and acronyms out there for different types of relationships and the like than I would know what to do with. Does it really matter what you label a relationship? If it's doomed to failure it's doomed to failure, if it's working it's working. And don't jump down my throat and say well why did you label your relationship. It was a mutual decision after spending 7-8 years together and we wanted to take that step. Haven't looked back since we did. All I'm saying is don't mss out on the joys of the relationship by trying to stick it in a neat little box with a nice shiny label. Enjoy it for what it is.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have been with my FWB for eighteen months and all I can say is that for something that's meant to be uncomplicated, this relationship is the most complicated I have ever been in. Having said that, the sex is mind-blowing and I'm still here and loving it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Fantastic post. Will be good to follow for future relationships if they start going stale sexually - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
....what I read.....didn't say 'agreed'. Viva la difference. Yes, I have my opinion.......I think everyone has one on this subject.
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blackbig
11 years ago
I concur with INSIGHT. Many times FWB get muddled.. If there are any other motives besides FWB ...these should be set clearly from the start. I personally enjoy FWB as it offers good sex and companionship without the hassle of commitments, emotional dependence and loss of freedom. I was in FWB relationship for 5 years with one lady. Up to this moment we are still in touch as good friends. I adore FWB..if the intention is to start FWB , then see how things go...this should be stated clearly on the profile. 😍 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
What a load of shit. I have had a very long term lover who is still in love with me in a FWB situation. Lovers and relationships are about connection and respect as simple as that. Any man that can't get that right can go jump!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just because you fall in love with your FWB doesn't have to mean the end of anything. It's wanting monogamy that kills it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree,no guarantee that you dont get hurt in the end,like you want the person to see all the time,that is hard, - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
wth does fwb mean - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
That pretty much does cover all of it . I think myself that going to see a movie , dinner .. hanging out etc .. is all fine because thats part of an fwb arrangement as really , thats what friends would do without the sex anyway he ce the "friends" part of the arrangement . As for emotional attatchment .. it does happen to a certain extent on either the guy/girls part , thats why clear communication & being open & honest with what the other one wants is very important . As for sexual exclusivety .. i agree completely with the post above on that one also . Personally i prefer sexual exclusivety in my fwb arrangements for a number of reasons .. the huge one being because of sti's but , dont care if my fwb wants to play elsewhere ( as long as they keep it to a bare minimum eg : not every night of the week & are being safe when they do ) . Personally .. i dont play with others when in a long term fwb situation ( not unless current fwb is included .. lol ) . Reasons being , i believe it to be disrespectful to our arrangement in part .. and also unfair to the other , unless it is something we'd absoloutely agreed upon . If your not going to at least Respect your fwb by being totally upfront & honest / clear in what you want then .. i dont believe you should even agree to being in that type of arrangement to begin with .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some good advice for the guys wanting an fwb .. Find out exactly what an fwb means from the person you agree to be fwb with ! ive noticed alot of guys .. will agree to an "fwb" type arrangement , just so theyve got a regular fallback root more or less in the event they cant hook up with anyone else .. or just a hookup for the night then they dont bother after that unless they genuinely cant score .... guys but this is my version of what youd call a typical "douche" no matter how "respectful" you present yourself .. & unless the lady your agreeing to being a fwb with is doing the same & has a few fwb's themselves - then please Know that - no lady .. No matter what they are saying to you .. actually likes being the fallback ! No self respecting woman likes to think that they are second best or has to compete .. ! Thats just my opinion though , but i truly believe that you should find out from the get go .. exactly what an fwb means if you are genuinely seeking just the one ongoing / regular one , & what exactly you and the other person in question both think that means , and what the boundaries are for you both . Yes , end of the day its all fun & games but & your both in it for the same reasons more or less but .. nothing is fun when someone gets hurt .
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