M38 F39
Some advice for a friend of mine
January 06 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
If you've already expressed your opinion (without being asked, as it appears you have, based on what you have written ) and he has chosen to ignore your advice (no matter how good your intention was behind it was ) then thats it.....to each their own.... His methods may work, they may not...but this is his journey, not yours I believe you should only express your opinion if he blatantly asks you.... .."So where am I going wrong ? " - but you know we are all different and that should be respected....I actually dont agree with his methods but you know I dont believe anyone died and made you the Relationship Guru either - live and let live...he has to find this all out by himself and if this is his approach...... well he will, one way or another. Let him be. Its way too easy to judge people when you are happily coupled yourself....
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't agree with Shinasbabe I think constructive criticism is never a bad thing. But if you and your friends have already told him not sure what else you can do. Eventually all the knock backs might make him stop and reassess his game plan. He will probably have to come to this realization on his own I think. Sounds like he watches too much porn... Why would a guy think this would actually work?. Do you think he uses those lines to try and be funny? Truth is, people usually sense when a person is desperate, whether male or female, and it's a real turn off.
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RHP User
13 years ago
He will eventually realise it's not working as well as he's telling himself it is. You've tried, there's not much more you can say. Should he ask you for advice directly, would he be more comfortable accepting some pointers from women friends, instead of his male buddies?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Is stop being his father...as the other ladies have put it he will wake up eventually. In the meantime, do you really want this guy out with you?? I'm assuming you're either worried he's going to get hurt physically, or you're feeling embarrassed. So perhaps tactfully removing yourself a bit from the partying may wake him up enough to ask.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Why would you say that? This guy is their friend maybe a bit misguided... But is that any reason to shun him? What sort of friend would you be!?! It's called caring for your friends and wanting to help them.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Meeka said it best he is our friend but he just needs a bit of guidance when it comes to talking to girls. He's a good guy but has no idea how to talk to women. Whenever he's out with me and the guys he'll disappear after 5 minutes and go off to try and talk to girls and then if nothing happens for him he goes to a strip club. He just needs to realise that his methods don't work.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Best way is to say, ok keep a written account of what you do see what your batting average is like all sport, indoors and out its the proof you need to show you your swing is to high or to the left or out of the ball park or tell him to get on RHP and meet older women to guide him a little friends never give up on friends we stick our noses in all the time. I open my mouth to change feet when it comes to my friends, they get that I luv em dispite my butting in at times.
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madotara69
13 years ago
I had a work mate a few years back that had a similar approach to the girls, only he just asked if they like to fuck. Us guys used to bag him for his style, he would get slapped on the face, drinks poured over him and a few blokes that wanted to punch on with him.The thing was, he always left with a girl, and to be honest the girls were gorgeous.He was so confidant, i believe was his success rate. He never bragged to us for it either.The last time i saw him was in the supermarket with a fine looking girl, they were in fits of laughter at the counter with a shopping trolley half full of airoplane jelly packets, they told us they were going home to have a bath.In hindsight, i don't think he would have cared what the boys said.Mado
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'HornySACouple69'Whenever he's out with me and the guys he'll disappear after 5 minutes and go off to try and talk to girls and then if nothing happens for him he goes to a strip club. He just needs to realise that his methods don't work. He's just looking for an excuse to go to a strip club. In that case his methods work brilliantly. GB: Harsh, dude. If I dumped all the friends who embarrassed me, I'd be very lonely.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Firstly you said you've tried to talk to him....so...you've tried the "nice" approach...has he changed?? Given that he's still trying the same method, I'd say not. So is being "nice" and caring going to work for someone that's clearly denying he even HAS an issue?? I doubt that too....I have no doubt you wish to see your friend happy, but unless he WANTS it, you can't force help upon him.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm not saying dump him as a friend. I was saying to refrain taking him out with you if this issue of HIS is affecting you personally. He will soon ask the question "what's up with me coming with you?" In which case you've now opened up an opportunity to talk to him when you have his attention, as clearly he hasn't listened in the past..
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RHP User
13 years ago
When you give advice - whether solicited or not - the secret is ALWAYS to let go of any attachment that the other person will accept or follow the advice. Offer it, and then let it go. If you don't like how the other person acts, decide whether or not you want to remove them from your life. If you stay, accept them. Relationships tend to work better when people ask questions rather than make statements. How about asking him why he uses the approach he uses, how successful he finds it, how he's changed it over time etc. You might be surprised at where the conversation leads. But in the end, it's up to you :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Make a bet that you can pick up before he does. The number one rule being you have to stick together (no sneaking off). Then he will both see a different approach and see that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar... (as my gran was fond of saying).that is of course if your lady is up for it too
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hey give him his own ground and let him fall down, just be there to pick him up.... If you don't he may feel you are trying to run his life...... Good friends are hard to find and good friends are always there for you...... JUst my old thoughs...... GT
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was a little offended at first, but he was funny and we had a good conversation before I took him up on it.He was pretty good in bed too LOL
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RHP User
13 years ago
Oh don't worry about your friend he will work it out when he meets a women that doesn't like it. Women these days will soon tell him if they want it or not. Just enjoy your mates company and just remember all those stories about he used to pick up when he realises where he went wrong. Maybe make him a bet one night when you guys are out. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
he wanders off then how do you know what he is saying to women?You can only offer advice a few times before you become annoying.If he is not changing his behaviour then he must be enjoying the rejection.For some people any attention is better than none and you never know one day he might just hit the jackpot. He is lucky to a have a friend who cares though.
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RHP User
13 years ago
He doesn't wonder across a woman like me who'd slap him, or worse break his nose. You've tried to help him, but it sounds like your friend is just a dick. Once he realises its been a year since he has sex without paying for it he might come to his senses.
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