M60
Softness = Weakness ???
December 12 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I read all the forums and cannot remember the things you mentioned being named as weaknesses. And: "It seems to me that many females expect man to be : emotionally closed, not very communicative, hard, arrogant, afraid of intimacy and overall a bit of a hard case when it comes to emotional issues." I absolutely do not expect men to be like this at all. Unless they're incarcerated maybe?
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RHP User
13 years ago
A man has a hairy ass,rides a motor bike and shoots shit.
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RHP User
13 years ago
No Fuzz,The guy you are describing sounds annoying and miserable to me !Cheers,W.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Harden the fuck up!! :p
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ms D,I don't remember reading anything in the forums saying that this is what women want or expect.Perhaps some women have said that they have found men act in this way....emotionally closed etc. There has probably been a tradition in this country that men,real men don't cry but this is changing,polititians and sportsmen for instance, have been known to cry in public and this is now seen as a positive rather than a negative. Some men possibly do find it difficult to express their emotions and this can be confusing and hard to fathom for the women in their lives. However I doubt that many, if any women want to be with a man who is ''a hard case'',arrogance is an unattractive trait in my opinion and not evidence of a ''real man''.Real men do eat quiche,laugh,love ,cry and communicate their feelings wants and needs.To the ''treat 'em mean,keep 'em keen'' element, I say meh....make that a double meh.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Please move to Perth ASAP Sincerely Shinas x
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Everyone is different n none of us know what some ppl have been through - some men are brought up to be 'hard, no fuss, tough men, show no emotion' and other men have been brought up in a more 'open communication, tell all, tears n emotion lifestyle' No men are not weak if they show emotion! It is alot easier to talk to a man who is a 'softer person' which in no way means he is feminine in any way! I hope my boys turn out to be good communicators and be able to express themselves however they can. Blah blah blah xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Shinasbabe27' Please move to Perth ASAP Sincerely Shinas x Shinas, Is that an open invitation to move to Perth. Hell I can even catch the Mandurah to Perth train and you can practice the hair flick x W.
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RHP User
13 years ago
This is obviously in relation to my Man up comment. A joke that has been going around the forums for awhile now. You obviously missed the reference, the Man Up comment was a generalisation on my part and in no way directed at you specifically NoFuzz. I didn't like your comment to me as I felt you were being a bit patronising so I responded. I didn't think you would get your panties in a knot about it. So I will clarify, when I said Man up I meant that many men are so polite these days when it comes to the lead up to the bedroom that I often feel as if I am taking the lead. I know this is a very hard balance to achieve as you don't want to appear pushy, etc but yes I want a man to sweep me off my feet straight into the bedroom or against the wall. Whatever is closer. But then again maybe I am meeting the wrong men lately? You will have to ask Mischievouslad as it is his theory. As for emotions everyone woman knows that emotions are not weak. Look at women... we are full of emotions and we are the stronger sex after all. Don't you agree?
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RHP User
13 years ago
You are screwed if you do screwed if you dont.... I am quite proud of my manners, I always try and be polite, friendly and well spoken. I find women love this but often regard me as a walk over, when the need arises to show them the opposite is true, they are usually upset by the fact that I am just like every other guy.............HELLO!!! Blokes on the other hand consider manners to be weakness..........only to be offended by the sting of my tongue or fist if need be( why call me a prick when you forced me to be one, I was only being polite)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hardtruckin I have thought about what you said about me on another thread and you are right. Maybe I do mother people I care about. And I love it when lovers (men) open up to me and tell me all their "stuff". In no way do I find emotions weak as it takes a strong person to show them. Over and out. Meeka
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RHP User
13 years ago
PS are you all looking at my tits?
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RHP User
13 years ago
I honestly love a woman that does mother her man. It shows a truly caring and beautiful woman. It encourages a man like me, that does have trouble in opening up and sharing the massive build up of emotion that can plague his heart, through worry(if this is the right word, im not too sure). This worry of is he man enough for the beautiful woman is blessing him with her heart. The thoughts of his kids, and even just feeling an overwhelming flood of attraction for his lady. And yes Meeks...I AM indeed looking at your tits, and pondering the many chocolatey options :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes, I do come off sometimes as abrasive, and unforgiving, not an intention of mine, but sometimes it IS hard to verbalise and rationalise what emotion it is EXACTLY that's being felt. I don't know if other men find it difficult or not, as sometimes it's all very muddled up and feels like a bowl of spaghetti inside ones mind. But it doesn't mean, that we as men don't WANT to share it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
for a man to display "signs of softness, openness, expression and communication". These are the qualities I value in a man and find very attractive. Very easy to relax with someone who is open to emotions. Unfortunately, the reality is that many Aussie men are "emotionally closed, not very communicative, hard, arrogant, afraid of intimacy and overall a bit of a hard case when it comes to emotional issues." I can only speculate its because they never learnt how to share feelings and emotions, or they carry too much baggage and are afraid to open up. Either way, they are missing out on a lot of happiness. Just my opinion and I'm happy to be proven wrong. SFxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' I honestly love a woman that does mother her man. It shows a truly caring and beautiful woman. It encourages a man like me, that does have trouble in opening up and sharing the massive build up of emotion that can plague his heart, through worry(if this is the right word, im not too sure). This worry of is he man enough for the beautiful woman is blessing him with her heart. The thoughts of his kids, and even just feeling an overwhelming flood of attraction for his lady. And yes Meeks...I AM indeed looking at your tits, and pondering the many chocolatey options :) Just to add to that HT, to me that doesn't make him less of a man to me. Strangely I still see my lover as dominant even when I just want to smother him with kisses. I like a man to make me feel like a girly woman but I am fiercely protective of him at the same time. Yep you are right, I am mothering him... or is that smothering him? LOL Stop looking at my tits! And hands off your gear stick young man.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sorry my main point was that I am protective over people I care about but I don't mother them in the sense that I treat them like a child. My sister does this for her husband... gives me the heeby jeebies. But as they say different strokes for different folks.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I couldn't agree more with both of those statements.
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RHP User
13 years ago
So HT are we going to solve world hunger while we are on a role ? ;-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
At 0127?? Hmmmm...we could try...are we using string?? Strap ons or something I've never heard of?? :p
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RHP User
13 years ago
For me it is important for a man to have a nice balance of Yin and Yang, ie, able to show his softer side when it counts. To be able to show one's softer side when it counts without being sooky la la or whinge when things go wrong, to be able to see and admit they are wrong and apologise to shows how much of a man they really are. But that is just my perspective
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RHP User
13 years ago
Get a room you two ! Op.It's simple mate, we're dealing with women, people, and you won't satisfy all with one position.In a nutshell you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, some are going to love the open man and some will condemn him.Just be yourself whatever that may be.
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RHP User
13 years ago
You can come visit me anytime Need to get back into my pole dancing :) Xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'So HT are we going to solve world hunger while we are on a role ? ;-) ...and a bit of breastfeeding woul be a good start.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks for your comments....I did not get my "panties in a knot" It just got me thinking .....that s all. Maybe I should not have made reference to the previous post........it was just a trigger for me.I do enjoy being open and I make a point at practising that......but I am of Latin descendant after all, so there is no problems in leading and being passionate at the same time.......Two different things.Shinas, Perth is a bit out of the way....but if I am ever there, will be happy to have a drink Meeka, Yes your tits makes me want to nibble and suck them Mischevious, Yes I do agree agree with your definition of strengthHardtrucking, I find that the practice of being open and communicate on a daily basis becomes easier over time. Definitely improving my relationships and interactions....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Please move to Perth ASAP Sincerely Shinas
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RHP User
13 years ago
I guess there is different kinds of softness. Just because a man can express his feelings isn't what makes a man weak or strong it's what he does about it that counts IMHO. A weak man would whine and complain about things and never do anything about it. A strong man would recognise his feelings and do something about it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Because, my experiences are that the minute you do open up, let your feelings go, lay it all out on the table, it's been met with a barrage of dismissive responses, such as"well what do you want me to do about it? How can I make it all better for you?? Cos I don't have the time or the energy for this right now!!" Well....pardon me for giving a toss about this relationships communication failures. Then on the other hand, you're asked "how do you feel about xyz??" Do what you like love, I don't really care as long as you're happy. Then, from what I'm reading here, we're supposed to open up, cry like babies, have an opinion etc. is it honestly any wonder why so many men just throw their hands up and say ahhh screw it, you're all too confusing??
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RHP User
13 years ago
For what???
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think it depends on the woman and maybe timing.There is no easy answer but sometimes another's issues can be overwhelming if you are trying to deal with a lot yourself....or cooking dinner...or cleaning the house...getting the kid's ready for school...perhaps the solution is to find a woman who is emotionally open and compatible with you HT....OR park that truck in Siddonie for a while.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Because in my view, issues pertaining to the relationship, be it fwb or something more committed, should be dealt with and discussed as it presents itself. By no means am I saying though these issues should be discussed in front of any children, but laying in bed ?? On a date?? While watching tv together?? And should the man broach the topic as I do, or wait until ones partner has an issue and THEN lay it all out?? It is my view, that by waiting the issue manifests into something of a mountain instead of molehill it started off as.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Is a tricky business.....It is very easy to lay it all out and lay it onto somebody else......The straighter way, requires more discipline and a strong sense of self.To communicate feeling should be (if done correctly ) all about how YOU are feeling and what is happening within you, with no judgement towards the outside, no blaming others for how you are feeling, no blaming situations or people.Of course they will always be events and people that provoke your feeling and reactions.But the trick is recognising that the feelings arising are yours, and are independent of the external situation.I find that when I can own all my shit, people around me feel more trusting and open themselves up more easily and happily .....
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RHP User
13 years ago
if it's soft, it's too weak to force into an arsehole.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sweetheart I have a soft on for you! Lucky I have my reliable 10" strapon which will fit quite nicely Jensman. Now bend over. And the beauty is I can feed you afterwards. >_>
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' Because, my experiences are that the minute you do open up, let your feelings go, lay it all out on the table, it's been met with a barrage of dismissive responses, such as"well what do you want me to do about it? How can I make it all better for you?? Cos I don't have the time or the energy for this right now!!" Well....pardon me for giving a toss about this relationships communication failures. Then on the other hand, you're asked "how do you feel about xyz??" Do what you like love, I don't really care as long as you're happy. Then, from what I'm reading here, we're supposed to open up, cry like babies, have an opinion etc. is it honestly any wonder why so many men just throw their hands up and say ahhh screw it, you're all too confusing?? with expressing and communicating how you feel. Whats the alternative, not saying anything then expecting things to built up until the shit hits the ... Freya, yes it could just be bad timing but HT am thinking give it a couple of tries as if it is bad timing 5 times in a row then you know you have done what you can to put things out there and the issue is with the other party.ML - liked you 1-5's on strength and DDW agree its is no use having a whinge then not doing anything about it yourself.Cheers,W
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RHP User
13 years ago
Interesting food for thought....Meeks said something similar in our little private chat about it too...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Sweetheart I have a soft on for you! Lucky I have my reliable 10" strapon which will fit quite nicely Jensman. Now bend over. And the beauty is I can feed you afterwards. >_> Uh oh.
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RHP User
13 years ago
A guy needs emotional intelligence and communication skills- otherwise i want to whack him over the head and scream "do you have any opinions/thoughts at all!!". I tend to feel that a guy is weak if he cant communicate using words- if he cant do that i may as well be dating an ape...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi! No Fuzz Thanks for the Topic However it seems MS.D, Freya, Meeka have covered this area very well.. However i'll add My view too.. By No stretch of the Imagination do I feel a Man who's secure in Himself as a Person and his Sexuality ,isn't affraid to express His emotions Openly and show affection in every way .etc. is Weak It takes a strong Man to share what he feels openly, show a Woman too and not be affraid of doing so. I adore Men Like that and am very attracted to them especially If Their Younger, Fun, Intelligent Sexy . .mmmm YUM!! ha!ha! Cheers Lu :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
I put it down to timing. If someones opening up straight away, I dont really see it as weakness, but more an extroversion, which I personally dont like too much. That said, I dont expect men to be like that, but it is a common stereotype, and as much as I find it endearing and good to be open and amotional, I still dont know what to do if I see a man cry.
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RHP User
13 years ago
To be honest id rather be a softy whos emotional when the time n issues require it than hard and arrogant and in a loony bin cause i cant handle whats going on.....Im not afraid to admit that i have the occasional cry when im feelin bad about something, the problem is when you chose to do it in an innaproprite place or time. It depends also on what youre after - if you are looking for a fun time then its a no-no, but if you are looking for an FWB or more then it is appropriate as long as its not all the time. if you want to be someones friend then you have to be able to deal with them sometimes being hurt and feeling down and be willing to help them pick themselves up and move on, if not then your not looking to be a freind so be honest from the start and say you are just looking to hook up....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi no fuzz, I agree with you 100% as I know my hubby would too, it actually takes a real true man Alfa or not to be completely and utterly open with his feelings,emotions, thoughts, desires needs n wants etc as well as openly be able to have a cry if that's what he needs, there's nothing wrong with it and really I think it's rather sad that in today's world that men still has to portray the marcho side n not show his softer more sensual side still and is still looked down upon, really it's society that is still keeping that ancient way going, society needs to evolve with today's times and lighten the hell up on these issues as well as many others xx it's actually such a turn on for a man to show his more sensual and softer side I think!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
..with your feelings seems to scare the shit out of some women.Possibly some men give up on it after a few bad experiences?
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have to have a very high level of trust in someone. I don't let just anyone get that close to me anymore.....been kicked in the nads too often.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Some men just communicate it differently. Some will never complain and just get on with things. Others will communicate their feelings, cry about things etc but still get on with it. Does that make one weaker or softer than the other? I'm not embarressed to say I've had quite a few good cries lately but then I firmly believe that most people in my situation would do the same. Is that weak? I don't think so, but others might think it is, depends what you classify as weakness or strength.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes being emotionally mature and open with your feelings is great - in a relationship, even a fwb with some time on it.But in the first few dates with someone, open up, talk about emotions and doubts etc, your history ! Bye bye sex hello good friend.Yeah yeah they will say otherwise but thats not who they shag.Emotion= drama and for those looking for NSA thats the last thing they want.
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