F56
Snooping
August 26 2014
Comments
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JessicaRabbit
11 years ago
Massively disrespectful. I'd be horrified if I knew someone had done it to me - not because they'd find anything incriminating or otherwise, but just because it shows a lack of respect and is dishonest. People have a right to privacy and inviting you into their home then having you snoop through their stuff would be a huge breach of trust. Not cool.Maybe if I had done this in the past I would've caught out one or two dishonest people that didn't treat me very well...but their treatment of me says a lot more about them than it does about me, just as snooping would say a lot about the kind of person that I am. I don't think it's ever justified to 'stoop' to someone else's level to catch them out on dishonest behaviour. Two wrongs don't make a right,and all that jazz.I do love (openly) checking out what people have on their bookshelves and on display, examining the photos and art they have up around the place. Can tell you a lot about a person and give an interesting glimpse into their life and interests etc. Jessxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'JessicaRabbit' Massively disrespectful. I'd be horrified if I knew someone had done it to me - not because they'd find anything incriminating or otherwise, but just because it shows a lack of respect and is dishonest. People have a right to privacy and inviting you into their home then having you snoop through their stuff would be a huge breach of trust. Not cool. Maybe if I had done this in the past I would've caught out one or two dishonest people that didn't treat me very well...but their treatment of me says a lot more about them than it does about me, just as snooping would say a lot about the kind of person that I am. I don't think it's ever justified to 'stoop' to someone else's level to catch them out on dishonest behaviour. Two wrongs don't make a right,and all that jazz. I do love (openly) checking out what people have on their bookshelves and on display, examining the photos and art they have up around the place. Can tell you a lot about a person and give an interesting glimpse into their life and interests etc. Jess xx ...if you 'd ever came to our place, i would definitely make sure i dust!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Im observant.... so if anyone has anything at all on display, I WILL notice. But thats a very different thing to hunting for hidden secrets. After all... if Ive been invited into someones sanctuary, Im not there to look through their stuff..... but to engage with them. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
If I have reason to suspect that a 'committed boyfriend' is being unfaithful, or lying... I will admit to snooping, reading phone messages, & once even hacking into his Facebook & Oasis dating site account. I am well aware that it is dishonest, morally wrong & a n invasion of privacy.. No excuses on my part..Just can't help myself... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'JessicaRabbit' Massively disrespectful. I'd be horrified if I knew someone had done it to me - not because they'd find anything incriminating or otherwise, but just because it shows a lack of respect and is dishonest. People have a right to privacy and inviting you into their home then having you snoop through their stuff would be a huge breach of trust. Not cool. Maybe if I had done this in the past I would've caught out one or two dishonest people that didn't treat me very well...but their treatment of me says a lot more about them than it does about me, just as snooping would say a lot about the kind of person that I am. I don't think it's ever justified to 'stoop' to someone else's level to catch them out on dishonest behaviour. Two wrongs don't make a right,and all that jazz. I do love (openly) checking out what people have on their bookshelves and on display, examining the photos and art they have up around the place. Can tell you a lot about a person and give an interesting glimpse into their life and interests etc. Jess xx I was bought up to respect people's privacy and this has never left me.If someone is dishonest or untrustworthy you find out sooner or later without having to stoop to their level. My ex husband recorded all of my phone calls and also had a program to record all my keystrokes on my PC. I had no privacy at all. I didn't know about it when it was happening and didn't find out until after I left him. It was a waste of time for him anyway. He never caught me doing anything wrong because I wasn't doing anything wrong. It took me a long time to stop feeling violated by that invasion of privacy. So it is not something I would do to another person.
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RHP User
11 years ago
thing out in the open are there to be displayed and I don't mind checking them out, makes for good discussion but snooping into drawers and cupboards is a no go for me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If you are invited into someones home, to me it says that they trust you. And if I had any doubts about them not being truthful in the first place I wouldnt go there. As for checking someones phone, thats a big No for me. I know Im old school, but I think we should have a bit more trust in our fellow human beings, instead of this obsession we have nowadays of "checking people out".
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nothing wrong with that but if you have to go looking that is just wrong. Invasion of privacy. If you want to know something just ask. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
But I have a friend who says she always looks in bathroom cupboards to check for any "female" evidence that would indicate that a woman lives there or is there often enough to leave toiletries there. Not sure if she has been lied too or cheated on before? Must ask her one day.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't go snooping. I won't open drawers or cupboards. But if it is out in the open, then I will look but won't touch. One time I noticed a driver's licence left on the dresser, so of course I checked out the birthdate (just to be sure!). My ex used to go through my phone and wanted to go through my emails. Hell no! Where is the trust? So no, I won't do that to anybody else.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Peek not through a keyhole , lest ye be vexed ... GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't snoop in people's places. Or look at their phones. But I've had someone snoop on me. While we were together one of my exes was, unbeknownst to me, monitoring my mobile phone. I don't mean that he looked in my phone...I mean that he was receiving logs of the content of text messages, and of calls made and received. He was *very* tech savvy and I strongly suspect that he also had a friend who worked in the right place, as after the shit hit the fan I also found out that he was monitoring the phone of a female friend of mine. I fully admit that I played a large part in the very messy relationship breakup and for awhile I was so upset over that, that it didn't occur to me until a couple of weeks later that he had probably been monitoring my texts and calls for months, well before we started having issues. He had told me at the beginning of our relationship that he had major trust issues after a bad breakup with an ex of his; that should have rung alarm bells for me at the time but I was pretty naive. It was only after my head cleared after we broke up, that I saw the other things that had indicated those issues for what they were, things like not wanting me to spend time with other guys, and just being quite possessive and jealous in general. It's no wonder we ended as badly as we did. The last I saw he was married, and I admit that I wonder if he's doing the same thing to his wife now, or if he has actually found a way to deal with his issues.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Like a lot of others have said, I like looking at photos, books and other things on display but I would never open cupboards or drawers. Meeka, didn't one male poster say he has "female items" in his house for his daughter? Your friend sounds like she's been bitten to me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
grey area where everyone's line in the sand will be different. It's unlikely that people who do snoop will fess up on here, bar a few brave souls, for fear of being bashed with the usual moral absolutism that runs so freely in the forums. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
You just have to take what comes when you invite a stranger into your house. I had Oxycontin in my bathroom two full packs that I had not taken after a third back operation. In my medical cabinet. I have my suspicions it was a couple that stayed over my house for a night. It did give me the creeps to know someone I had invited into my house was like that. But really I have no idea who did take them, and in reality you have no idea who you invite into your house of this site. there are stories of people snooping around, stealing stuff and getting to much information about you , when all you want to do is share your pink bits. I don't look but then I have only been to a mans house the once, since being on RHP and only with a guy that another woman had been with. she said he was fine and knew I was there. I would much rather get a hotel. My husband is happy with my women friends of RHP staying and once a guy of RHP did a house sit for me. I would only check to see if the guy had a clean loo and bathroom and clean sheets. The rest has nothing to do with me. I have never snooped on anyone, not even my daughters dairy when they left them around. As it would really make me mad as hell if some one did that to me.
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QLDtwo4fun
11 years ago
If it's on display it is there to be viewed, if it's in a drawer or cupboard it is private. As for checking partners phones and computers, no I wouldn't; if you need to check you have a problem.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If it's not on show then I don't go snooping. That's just a big no no. And I would feel violated if anyone did snoop through my stuff. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have heard of someone who hacked into their cheating partners facebook account and put a message on their wall to tell everyone what a cheating lying scumbag they were, I think they made it sound like they were confessing. Someone I would not want to cross let me tell you but that did kind of shock me though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Like a lot of others have said, I like looking at photos, books and other things on display but I would never open cupboards or drawers. Meeka, didn't one male poster say he has "female items" in his house for his daughter? Your friend sounds like she's been bitten to me. Possibly, you know what they say. Once bitten, twice shy. Or maybe she is just a suspicious type?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is looking in a bathroom cabinet really that bad though? A bathroom is almost like a public space, people that come into your home will go in there.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Burning_Love is right though..... who is to say that if you were in a serious committed relationship and you new something was wrong but they wouldn't tell you or maybe you suspected they were cheating. Then who can really say what they would do in those circumstances.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If there was no toilet paper I would look through their bathroom cupboard, but I think I'd just scream out for some lol And isn't hacking into someone's account or phone a criminal offence? That could be considered worse than breaking into someone's home :/ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' But I have a friend who says she always looks in bathroom cupboards to check for any "female" evidence that would indicate that a woman lives there or is there often enough to leave toiletries there. Not sure if she has been lied too or cheated on before? Must ask her one day. I'd hate to live my life with that level of distrust. Not to mention that level of distrust in my own instincts about someone.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think your "friend" is a creep.
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RHP User
11 years ago
any one bathroom is not a public place any one that would snoop in my bathroom would not be ask back
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am a victim of a previous ex snooping and hacking so I have very strong opinions on this subject. I currently have a very open and honest partner who shares everything with me, why would I jeopardise that by snooping..... In general I agree that if it is on display it is there to look at. - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
11 years ago
If they have pictures on display I feel free to look at them. As for going through drawers, bathroom cabinets and that sort of thing....no. Invasion of privacy. I still like to think the people I interact with are going to be as bluntly honest as I try to be, if not; they'll eventually fuck it up for themselves. I have no time for subterfuge when it's me who's being deceived or taken for a fool. I wouldn't expect anyone to do it to me. 😝 Facebook stalking however doesn't count. Lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's exactly the situation I have twice been in....Just KNOWING without a doubt that my long term 'loyal' partner was cheating on me, but having no evidence...And then being told obvious bullshit. The choice is to be miserable, defensive & suspicious, or to find the truth, then whip his sorry lying arse..!!!! Yes, I have snooped, read emails, opened cyber accounts, & even followed in a car....hahaha..!!! BUT....both times I was right, & I told the untarnished truth of ALL of my snooping activities... Then weellllll......That's a different story, & one kept private.... Can you all truly put yr hand on yr heart & say you have NEVER checked yr partners pH, wallet or paper work...?? Even if you were suspicious, but knew damn well it was morallisticaly wrong, & could possibly ruin the relationship if the partner found out..? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
To start Three New Forum Posts within the last week that either start with or end with : * What are your thoughts on the subject ? (Confidentiality & RHP emails) * A question for everyone ? (Snooping) * Over to you ? (You know you are kinky and dirty when.....) Vouyeristic ? Vicarious ? But, to answer your opening question, I have never "snooped". I've seen kitchens that made me cringe when I made coffee after. I've seen bathrooms that made me leave before. Both of which had lots of "Personal Information" on display, but, I've never snooped. When someone comes to my home, personal photos etc get put in the cupboard and we shower together after, or at least watch each other after, so I know they're not snooping.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If they checked through my bathroom or drawers they would swear a woman was living there. I only had the will to dispose of my wife's clothes last weekend and she died 7 years ago. I still can't bring myself to get rid of her make up and perfume in the bathroom. Sometimes it is dangerous to jump to conclusions.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I know we are all very emotionally intelligent and have high EQs and we wouldn't dream of invading anyone's privacy. But you know what ..... sometimes that green eyed monster has us doing crazy things some times. Jealousy is a absolute bitch. I know I have succumbed to jealous before particularly when I was younger and I acted like a crazy biatch. Absolutely. Now fess up people. I know you aren't all saints!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100 Now fess up people. I know you aren't all saints! I snooped once when I was 19 and found letters between my boyfriend and his ex, from before we met. They made me suspect he wasn't over her yet, but I couldn't raise the topic without confessing I had gone through his personal stuff.Catch 22! I quickly decided never to snoop again.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Is looking in a bathroom cabinet really that bad though? A bathroom is almost like a public space, people that come into your home will go in there. A bathroom cabinet usually has doors, which means the things kept in it are not on display. IMO.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't like controlling people and that indicates to me that they might be like that. If I go to someone's house I'm lucky to remember and find the toilet let alone worry about cupboards, what is in them or anything else... Although if I am hungry I do notice contents of the fridge... Xxviolet
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
To check then I ask, who has the problem?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Violetincredible'Although if I am hungry I do notice contents of the fridge... The fridge is fair game.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Smilingwithfun' To check then I ask, who has the problem? Well my friend has also said that she wouldn't live with anyone unless they had a legal contract stating that neither of them would be entitled to each other's assets if they split. She has worked hard for what she has and she doesn't want to share it with someone if they split up.
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RHP User
11 years ago
she isn't the only female friend who has said that to me either. Prior to that it wasn't something that had even occurred to me before. A contract between a couple who want to live together that is.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You ask who has the problem if there is a need to snoop?? Well, in my case, the bloody men had the problem, as they couldn't keep their dick in their pants... That is not MY problem...!!! And if some men were better at hiding their lying, & cheating,evidence, OR of being loyal & faithful (as I was). then there would NOT have been a problem in the first place...Amen..xxx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just couldn't do it I have been entrusted to enter someone's house, that alone is respect - sorry this really is a big no for me - any items regardless of what they are, pictures on the wall, fruit in a basket, they are that person's possession immaterial of what it is. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I started going out with this girl, she seemed nice enough until I left for work and she stayed in my bed, she went through all my stuff and she thought it was completely ok, I didn't have anything to hide but I thought it was quite rude, she went through all my paperwork and everything. I ended it pretty quick
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RHP User
11 years ago
My sister in law is shocking and when they visit we see she has looked through our bathroom cabinet , nothing to hide but annoying at the intrusion . Last time they visited hubby put as many marbles in there as he could and shut the door , when she went to the toilet and came back all red hubby asked are you ok knowing full well what had happened making her more embarrassed I went to the bathroom and saw marbles everywhere she met me at the door on the way out babbling about bumping it lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I scan a house quickly but I think thats because that alas job related, I can see you didnt clean your Bathroom fan since month....lol. But I never ever go and look at peoples stuff. I would find it very disrespectful to go through an others belongings, or the idea to do this to someone else s. I had only one time this feeling in my home it was a friend of my youngest boy. Each time this young man was in my house my hair was standing up my body......I didn't trust him at all. And when someone says I only do this to see is he /she married, fuck of that's not why you do it, you are a snoop and you are untrustworthy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Chat_Meet_Touch'Why The Constant Need Meeka ?To start Three New Forum Posts within the last week that either start with or end with : * What are your thoughts on the subject ? (Confidentiality & RHP emails) * A question for everyone ? (Snooping) * Over to you ? (You know you are kinky and dirty when.....) Vouyeristic ? Vicarious ? I think Meeka momentarily forgot the forums aren't the place to post an honest question and hope for answers and possibly even (dare I say it?) a discussion. Meeks, pull yourself up will you?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Well my friend has also said that she wouldn't live with anyone unless they had a legal contract stating that neither of them would be entitled to each other's assets if they split. I wouldn't live with a partner without a Cohabitation Agreement, why would that be unusual?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nothing wrong with it, but I was shocked at the time as I hadn't heard of such a thing before and I doubt it would be something that would occur to me.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
I agree with Jessica. No way. Not the medicine cabinet (unless am bleeding and needing a bandaid and I will ask him first and not take liberties), dressers nor their FB or anything else. Totally disrespectful. If they leave out things for display, it means they want to share something of themselves to any visitors. Else, none of my business and rather play with him. Like Koko. Am old-school and been brought up that way too. I hate people butting their nose into my business uninvited so I do not do it to them. Simple.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Smilingwithfun' To check then I ask, who has the problem? Well my friend has also said that she wouldn't live with anyone unless they had a legal contract stating that neither of them would be entitled to each other's assets if they split. She has worked hard for what she has and she doesn't want to share it with someone if they split up. yes, I heard it is getting to be more common place, pre-nupts in Australia. But that is a different issue altogether right?
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RHP User
11 years ago
There should be a contract for pretty much any official relationship with people- it gives you all a clear ground of reference... And takes a bit of the emotion and drama out of most situations. And allows civilised argument over different reference points... Although possibly I would not go into quite as much detail as sheldon 👾 Xxviolet
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RHP User
11 years ago
To me if it's in sight fair game ,piccys etc! Starting to go thru cupboards ,drawers I think you have trust issues! Everyone has a past up to them what they divulge in there sweet time !
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madotara69
11 years ago
We are fond of having guests at our home, for years our house has been full of people, we have a band and often jam. First thing we offer guests, is too make them selves feel at home. Same applies if we invite a playmate or any friends from this joint. If someone feels the need to snoop, well so be it. The question is how would they feel.....@?, if they were caught out snooping Strictly speaking, we have given them the option too snoop if it tickles the fancy. Some probably have. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'girlguyhavingfun' Last time they visited hubby put as many marbles in there as he could and shut the door , when she went to the toilet and came back all red hubby asked are you ok knowing full well what had happened making her more embarrassed Love it!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Nothing wrong with it, but I was shocked at the time as I hadn't heard of such a thing before and I doubt it would be something that would occur to me. I had never heard of this either! I'm entirely too trusting about such things ... but I think I'll be writing up a cohab agreement in future.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'girlguyhavingfun' My sister in law is shocking and when they visit we see she has looked through our bathroom cabinet , nothing to hide but annoying at the intrusion . Last time they visited hubby put as many marbles in there as he could and shut the door , when she went to the toilet and came back all red hubby asked are you ok knowing full well what had happened making her more embarrassed I went to the bathroom and saw marbles everywhere she met me at the door on the way out babbling about bumping it lol - Posted from rhpmobile :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
i would feel terrible if i knew someone was looking through my personal belongings that were in closets and cabinets. I've been tempted to do it when i felt that i didn't trust someone but decided to ask them instead and watch their reactions. I like to think people are basically good, but can have bad moments. i know I've had my own bad moments but i would never snoop in someones house that they have trusted me to go into.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm single but you'd find tampons in my bathroom cupboard..They are my daughter's for when she sleeps over..Snooping is mistrust. Best ask hey?
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RHP User
11 years ago
If you think your partner is cheating on you and they are behaving in ways that make you suspicious then either they are, OR perhaps you are insecure (with or without reason). Either way it's not a healthy state of being and the only way to control the situation, to right it, is to leave it or to do some work on yourself. Insecurity and jealousy (irrespective of why it exists in you) is cancerous. It's like having lung cancer and then smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. However I do understand that some people need to have proof, the phone bill with a suspected lovers number on it so they hack into an account or rifle through belongings. But why do that, it creates so much anxiety and stress. The alternative might be to ASK to see the phone bill and if they say no, then you need to deal with that together. At least then it's a conversation you can have with them. The former approach of snooping prevents you from discussing the "phone bill" with integrity or credibility and remember, that which was seen cannot be unseen. What if you find folders and folders of porn and that porn is of women who look completely different to you. ie hair colour - Will you die your hair? skin tone - Will you start whitening your face. How might that effect sexual intimacy from that point on? Is that enough to break up with them, and if not, how does that effect your self esteem and the relationship..? If you snoop, be prepared to ruin your own life over something that may not even exist.
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