F65
Single Guys...I Feel For Them...
September 24 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Funloving, As a single guy, THANK YOU but I am afraid that your wonderful manifesto will fall on deaf ears. It is a numbers game here and most women know they can treat men, all men, like bottom dwelling duck shit cos they know they will still get contacted continuously. If RHP practised equality, and made women pay, I would comfortably say 80% of the women would cancel their membership. They don't care if men have to pay, for a lot here it is a game, an exercise in having their ego's stroked cos for some, the attention they get here would never ever (repeat for emphasis) never happen in real life. Fun, I do commend you for having the guts to stand up and say what you did. I know there will be the usual responses from women saying 'I always reply to every message' (cough bloody cough) but I bet we don't get one that will admit that they don't care if they hurt someone's feelings but not replying. Mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Some great points there funloving I do understand that ladies on here get a lot of messages and flirts, and understand why the ruder or more obviously templated ones don't get a reply (and why flirts get nothing too). It can be frustrating to have taken the time to write a decent message and put some thought into it and to not get the slightest response, particularly after taking the time to read a profile and make sure that I fit the criteria they're looking for. It's just polite.The few times I've actually gotten a "thanks but no thanks" reply I've been that surprised that I've replied back thanking them for actually replying. Would be funnier if it wasn't so sad... lolBut at the end of the day the site is a lot of fun, the forums are interesting and I've found some great people to chat to. Makes it all worthwhile WantPeakExp
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RHP User
15 years ago
I personally reply to all messages unless crude and the crude ones are instantly blocked. hehe.. ning nongs ..lol I also reply to all flirts. Now if I have said no thanks a cpl times he still flirts me.. Then I just deleted it. No reply. No means no right! I agree with funloving hope the girls who don't might get off their high horse and reply to the guys. Heck I even send no thanks to the married men! ffss and it is on my profile that I am looking for unattached men ffsss. How nice am I ! lol Manners go a long way in life sweetpetite41 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I always try to put some effort into my messages if for no other reason than it might help me stand out from the crowd. It's very disheartening to send one to a woman who may be local, whose criteria I fit and have similar interests, then a week later see that she hasn't even bothered to read it, let alone reply. If I do get a "thanks but no thanks", I send a brief message thanking them for taking the time to respond and wishing them good luck, then don't bother them again - a simple, well-mannered transaction from both sides. Surely if we send a decent message, our efforts deserve that much? Deaf ears will sadly rule the day though, I'm afraid.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ok, I will admit (red-faced, dammit) to being one of those inconsiderate ones who don't reply to all messages. I think my tendency to be a little verbose, and my not liking to say no to people is behind the procrastination..."oh, i'll respond later, not sure how to word it"...leads to my never getting back. I apologise to any guys I may have offended and say to you Funloving that the point has been taken by this logical Libran. xxJ
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi funloving. you said i was from interstate and you said no thanks lol... But yes i think women should have the courtesy to say no thanks. Mine are not crass and i like to think that i am different as well people say i am. Bit hard to show that on the net.
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RHP User
15 years ago
oops you have set your profile to victoria. that would make sense. my bad well hope to hang out when i am in Melbourne LOL
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sorry...I dont agree.If I put a sign on my letterbox saying "NO JUNK MAIL"and junk mail gets put in...then they cant complain if it doesnt get looked at and goes straight in the bin.I have put quite clearly on my profile that I am NOT looking for guys younger than 35 or older than 50....yet younger guys especially continue to message me...and I will read all messages...if it is a polite hello, like your profile etc kind of message....I WILL reply.But if it's smut, lemme fuck you, suck my big cock kinda message....then fuck him...i WILL NOT reply.He should be thankful he doesnt cop a spray instead.So YES...they have the right to send messages...but NO...they dont have the right of reply...if they dont bother to read my profile....and its up to ME whether i reply or not.JMOBJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Thanks for the entry. I feel for women, as they cop an unending stream of mail from guys who outnumber them 10 to 1. Moreso the women who are genuine, and not spammers or manufactured profiles to fluff the numbers. However, as a single guy looking for some contact i have to say, yes, it sucks. If you don't have the body of an adonis / bogan chode, you have fuck all chance at luck on this site.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well i must Say MissBJ that some younger guys like me can be a little different. People say that to me and i think so myself. But hey everyone to themselves. If you do get a message wouldnt hurt if people had the time to say no thanks lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
as a single guy, the only single guys i feel sorry for are those with no arms. the rest of us can look after ourselves when necessary.
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RHP User
15 years ago
i can girltuesday... very well too! lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Great work Funloving..I understand the woman are well out numbered by us guys..But if we recieve a reply we get closure either way and we wont send a follow up message...It takes as long to reply as it does to read..Thank you in advance..x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'TheRuffles' Well i must Say MissBJ that some younger guys like me can be a little different. People say that to me and i think so myself. But hey everyone to themselves. If you do get a message wouldnt hurt if people had the time to say no thanks lol Oh...dont get me wrong...if it's a polite message...then of course I reply!But if its rude...and especially when they dont fit my criteria...then it doesnt matter their age...they dont get a reply.Just seems to be the younger ones that mostly ignore my parameters.Just saying.I know not all guys are the same...just like all chicks arent.JMO..BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'll keep it short and sweet, SPOT ON!
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RHP User
15 years ago
which is hard for me to get across to girls as well i know im not the same. And people do remind me. So i guess i have to work on that
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RHP User
15 years ago
ahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha although can see the girls POV would be nice fer the fellas to be at least given a look. paid member fer at least 6 months and never bothered sendin messages ta people i didn't connect to in forums so already had a base and they kinda knew where i was comin from. dunno man. from the onset off time we (the fellas) been chasin you (the sheilas) so theres cash to be made from this i guess. personally i don't give a rats fandango but if ya answer back i'll spin a yarn wid ya and have some fun. as yet no message unanswered. although sometimes late. sorry bout that peeps.............. ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Earl
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RHP User
15 years ago
ahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha although can see the girls POV would be nice fer the fellas to be at least given a look. paid member fer at least 6 months and never bothered sendin messages ta people i didn't connect to in forums so already had a base and they kinda knew where i was comin from. dunno man. from the onset off time we (the fellas) been chasin you (the sheilas) so theres cash to be made from this i guess. personally i don't give a rats fandango but if ya answer back i'll spin a yarn wid ya and have some fun. as yet no message unanswered. although sometimes late. sorry bout that peeps.............. ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Earl
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RHP User
15 years ago
i just Mr below average dude. not rich, not well hung, got an ex an my baby (yeah i know, she 12 but she always be my baby), don't have a 300 mm penis, am old (and startin to feel it), but wot the fuck. was thinkin bout chuckin in the membership as not realy usin it that much but need the access ta my family( rhp) if i need it so not an option realy. and these guys will be here for ya man if ya need em. we all friends here really.............. ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaa Earl
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RHP User
15 years ago
I always reply. Even just to reconfirm my purpose of being on here. I have even gotten a message back saying I dont know why you even bothered replying...which i thought...what a tool...i at least replied. But anyway, i will always reply. To me it is common courtesy in my opinion. Sally
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well said! It feels a little familial in here, with the ability to say what you want without fear your family will never talk to you again. It's a wonderful bunch of people who post in here, and thank goodness you are here to keep me sane (well, ok, almost sane). Luv ya all. xxJ
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RHP User
15 years ago
Agreeing with both. If i was female I would not bother with the crass shite. Nobody deserves that, file in bin. I am not a serial messager, but my statistics show an excellent reply rate. So to those ladies thanks a million for taking the time to reply.
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RHP User
15 years ago
That's a pretty vehement message there funloving - full of lots of 'should's and 'they have the RIGHT's - and a whole lot of telling me what I have to do.In truth, there are very few 'rights' in this world - like perhaps, the right to freedom of choice and liberty and a fair trial and other such you know ... important ... things. Which, mind you, aren't rights anyway when you consider that a massive portion of the global population doesn't have access even to these.But here in Australia, mostly we do have such rights. Which means that when I join a site, and it doesn't state ANYWHERE in the rules that one of the conditions of joinging is that I must reply to all messages, AND, the site functionality in fact allows me to not reply and to simply delete messages if I wish, I exercise my freedom of choice to reply, or not, as I wish.To be frank, there's no way on God's fucking earth I'm going to waste a minute, let alone an hour, of my week replying out of some misguided sense of courtesy or even pity to a message that is offensive, spam, waaaaaay off the target of my profile or otherwise just a nuisance. In fact, it might be an awesome message from a seemingly great person ... but if I don't want to, I'm STILL not going to reply. You see, it's the right of the man who sends a message,to send it if he wants to. My right - given that like said man I also have the luxury of choice - is to reply or not. And I exercise that right quite comfortably. In fact, one could argue that a man who knowingly sends a message that is in direct contradiction to what a woman has stated she's looking for in her profile, has given up his 'right' (as it were) to expect anything at all. Gender optional in my example of course - it could be man to man, woman to man etc ... the point remains.Nowhere does it guarantee a paid member of this site that all messages they send will be replied to. And in fact, it's utterly nonsensical to suggest that a site such as this - with such a diverse membership, who are members as part of a social / sexual interest - should ever offer such a guarantee or demand such an expectation from it's members. So ... what do I do ... ?I have an auto-reply. Not a hard thing to do, and something I do to offer a basic courtesy to everyone that messages me. It's entirely my choice to have it though, of course, and I'd feel equally comfortable turning it off and simply ignoring messages if that's what I wanted to do. I also (mostly) don't judge anyone for the messages they send me. What they send is their choice - even if it's bloody awful. That's why, in my view, the RHP gods gave me a delete button.So I'll reiterate ..."there's no way on God's fucking earth I'm going to waste a minute, let alone an hour, of my week replying out of some misguided sense of courtesy or even pity to a message that is offensive ...". Well ... you get the picture!I'll be spending my time (precious little there is of it) doing the things I WANT to do, not things others think I SHOULD do. And I'll be exercising my rights, and supporting others to exercise their rights, to some of the IMPORTANT things in life.As for everyone else, I don't really care what you do ... that's your choice, after all :)lilmiss x
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RHP User
15 years ago
With rights come responsibilities....you have the right to write to anyone...but you also have the responsibility to be courteous...applicable...and respectful.Think of each message as a job application.You wouldn't apply for a job you were not suited to, would you?You wouldn't write "I want to stick my big fat texta in your nice, tight pigeonhole" would you??And you certainly wouldn't expect a reply to every application, would you??Seriously....put a bit of effort in...coz if you can't put some effort into a message...why would we think you would put effort into anything else??JMO....BJxxxYay!!...Fussy is back!! Hope life is treating you well honey...words of wisdom as always...xxxQuoting 'lilmissfussy' That's a pretty vehement message there funloving - full of lots of 'should's and 'they have the RIGHT's - and a whole lot of telling me what I have to do.In truth, there are very few 'rights' in this world - like perhaps, the right to freedom of choice and liberty and a fair trial and other such you know ... important ... things. Which, mind you, aren't rights anyway when you consider that a massive portion of the global population doesn't have access even to these.But here in Australia, mostly we do have such rights. Which means that when I join a site, and it doesn't state ANYWHERE in the rules that one of the conditions of joinging is that I must reply to all messages, AND, the site functionality in fact allows me to not reply and to simply delete messages if I wish, I exercise my freedom of choice to reply, or not, as I wish.To be frank, there's no way on God's fucking earth I'm going to waste a minute, let alone an hour, of my week replying out of some misguided sense of courtesy or even pity to a message that is offensive, spam, waaaaaay off the target of my profile or otherwise just a nuisance. In fact, it might be an awesome message from a seemingly great person ... but if I don't want to, I'm STILL not going to reply. You see, it's the right of the man who sends a message,to send it if he wants to. My right - given that like said man I also have the luxury of choice - is to reply or not. And I exercise that right quite comfortably. In fact, one could argue that a man who knowingly sends a message that is in direct contradiction to what a woman has stated she's looking for in her profile, has given up his 'right' (as it were) to expect anything at all. Gender optional in my example of course - it could be man to man, woman to man etc ... the point remains.Nowhere does it guarantee a paid member of this site that all messages they send will be replied to. And in fact, it's utterly nonsensical to suggest that a site such as this - with such a diverse membership, who are members as part of a social / sexual interest - should ever offer such a guarantee or demand such an expectation from it's members. So ... what do I do ... ?I have an auto-reply. Not a hard thing to do, and something I do to offer a basic courtesy to everyone that messages me. It's entirely my choice to have it though, of course, and I'd feel equally comfortable turning it off and simply ignoring messages if that's what I wanted to do. I also (mostly) don't judge anyone for the messages they send me. What they send is their choice - even if it's bloody awful. That's why, in my view, the RHP gods gave me a delete button.So I'll reiterate ..."there's no way on God's fucking earth I'm going to waste a minute, let alone an hour, of my week replying out of some misguided sense of courtesy or even pity to a message that is offensive ...". Well ... you get the picture!I'll be spending my time (precious little there is of it) doing the things I WANT to do, not things others think I SHOULD do. And I'll be exercising my rights, and supporting others to exercise their rights, to some of the IMPORTANT things in life.As for everyone else, I don't really care what you do ... that's your choice, after all :)lilmiss x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Totally agree with everything lilmiss has stated.. I too have the right, as does everyone who joins this site, not to reply to crass, offensive and disrespectful emails..just as it would not solicit a reply if these requests were said to me in a social setting..although depending on my mood it might end up with a swift knee in the gonads.. I have been a paid member of this site that enabled me to send 20 emails per day..I probably averaged to send 1-2 a week..I had emails that were not responded to even though I met their criteria...the reason I guess they didn't reply is that they didn't like the look of me..fair enough..not everyone in this world is going to like the look of you..suck it Princess and move on..I paid my money so that I could have the opportunity to email anyone that appealed to me..I did not pay my money with the expectation that those members should be told they have to reply to me.. And if having Confidence, knowing what I do and do not want and expecting men on an adult dating site to be adult and respectful is read as having a self inflated sense of self..then so be it..I am the same in person as I am online...treat me with a little bit of respect and you will receive the same in return..
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RHP User
15 years ago
... as lilmissfussy notes, but surely a polite message that took some effort to write deserves a "no thanks"? It's common courtesy and will often stop men from sending follow-up messages, so might even save you time in the long run.It's not my right to have you not cut into the queue at the bank either, but that doesn't make it okay to do it. The difference? If you cut the queue at the bank, you can be pretty sure that someone will complain about it whereas here, people are able to hide behind relative anonymity. That doesn't make it less impolite, it just means that there are fewer consequences. To the writer of a polite message, it still looks rude.An auto-reply is fine and how long does it take to send that? Two seconds? If you got ten or twenty respectful messages a day, you're looking at about a minute to make ten or twenty men feel as though at least you cared enough to be polite. Surely that's not so onerous?
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RHP User
15 years ago
not a right... but more of an etiquette...
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RHP User
15 years ago
it's about suggesting that I have an OBLIGATION to reply by virtue of being a member, and that you have a RIGHT to receive a reply for the same reason, and moreso because you're a paid member.Both of these ideas are crap and bunkum.You'll write if you want, I'll reply if I want ... it's called free choice. I consider myself very lucky to have it.The question of whether or not my choice makes me courteous is altogether a different one. I've been called a rude bitch before. I can live with it if someone forms that view because I choose no to reply to their message - nicely crafted or not.lilmiss x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Littlemiss, I do understand what you are saying and you are right, no one has an obligation to reply. But consider this, you see someone you want to contact, you like their profile, you fit their criteria, so you send them a flirt, a bit of an ice breaker so to speak. They respond, yes, they are interested and are awaiting a msg from you. So you send one, and nothing happens. You check, you know they have been online, but they haven't even opened your msg. How would you feel, not happy I bet. Specially since you have a very high regard of yourself. You would be angry, you would be pissed off because someone just snubbed you, they thought you are not worth even 5 seconds of their precious time. But of course that could never happen could it ...... To all, does anyone ever wonder why some guys here resort to abusive msgs, maybe they are just so fed up with women acting like they are doing them a favour just by having a profile here. Seriously, some of the women on this site need a reality check, they might be popular on here but in real life they probably lead a very lonely and non-existant life. mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
you're taking my response to a bunch of generalisations, such as:These men have the RIGHT...(yeah I'm going there)....to have their messages replied to, whether you like them or not!! But that first message SHOULD ALWAYS be replied to. They put their hard earned cash into joining Sites like this and it infuriates me that most girls don't even have the decency to reply, and some don't even open the messages at all!!and applying it to a specific (and might I add expanded) scenario, with particular circumstances and characters.Bottom line, we're all free to choose. If you don't like the game, get off the playing field.Personally, I don't now, never have and never will, take offense if someone messages me something filthy and crass or if I message someone and they don't reply.It's a free world ...lilmiss x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Please and thankyou. Your not obliged to, but decent people do, i wonder if all the non repliers and rude bitches have those words in their vocabs.I am sure some people are just so mean spirited that humanity and community mean nothing, the "its all about me baby" brigade.Then again who the hell wants to hear from those types anyway.Cheers Nev........
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RHP User
15 years ago
LittleMiss, Yes we are all free to choose and I would bet that anyone has read your posts here will think twice now about contacting you. Why should they bother, you have already stated quite emphatically that there is a strong chance not only that they will not get a reply but their message won't even be open. Unfortunately that is a by-product of this site. A woman can treat everyone else with utter distain knowing that some poor bastard will ignore everything and still contact them, often just to inflate the woman ego. Nev, once again I fully agree with your post, it would be nice if karma existed and there was some form of payback or reality check to those types of people. Mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Guys....think of it like this.A woman goes to the trouble of writing a profile that pretty clearly outlines what she is looking for.A man that doesnt fit any of her criteria sends her a crude message.Or a man that DOES fit her criteria sends her a crude message.Or a man sends an ok message but his profile has no pics and is full of "ask me's".Would you say she HAS to reply???Now what if she was your partner? sister? friend?Does she still HAVE to reply??Most women WILL reply to a nice message...even if the answer is negative. But some guys just wont take no for an answer.Is a "fuck off, you dickwad" better than silence??Why does he deserve her respectful "thanks but no thanks" when he has shown her none??JMO...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
and for the record....these are my stats..as you can see....I do indeed reply to messages...just not all of them.Some dont require replies...and some dont warrant them. Mailbox Stats I have sent 602 messages Reply Rate: 272% I have received 1,636 messages I have sent 70 flirts Reply Rate: 3,584% I have received 2,509 flirts JMO....BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'lilmissfussy' The question of whether or not my choice makes me courteous is altogether a different one. I've been called a rude bitch before. I can live with it if someone forms that view because I choose no to reply to their message - nicely crafted or not. With all due respect to your right (that word again) not to respond to a nicely crafted message, you won't be hearing from me.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think many women here do their best to respond, even with a thanks, no thanks. The only ones I rarely respond to are the " I think you are hot" from the Hot or What voting, many dont even realise that a flirt is sent from that unless you untick the box. I agree with funloving....and I also agree with lilmissfussy.... so shoot me, I am a female and prone to changing my mind. Some of the males who have commented on this post may want to ponder on this one though... "Those in glasshouses, shouldnt throw stones" ....there are times when conversations move off this site, eg: to msn....great chats, great 'friends", then the men just disappear into thin air, no explanation, no goodbye, no response to emails....just gone. So please dont attempt to tell me I dont care about hurting someones feelings.... I have experienced it first hand and I know it is done to many women, very often.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Please take notice that in my posts I did not resort to name calling or judgments but simply stated again and again that people are free to choose what they do, and no-one here SHOULD have to do anything ... And yet, without you knowing anything about me you imply that I treat men with utter disdain etc. I think you'll find that in the past I've treated you very decently.And Nev ... if you look at fun's original post, she was quite emphatic that women SHOULD reply to ALL messages from men - or at least always to the first message a man sends. If I add that to your statement that a decent person would do so ... then you'd be saying I SHOULD reply to a man even when he messages me to say he wants to stick his 11 inch cock up my ass while his hands are around my throat choking me. Yeah ... I don't think so, thanks very much.I never said I wouldn't reply to messages. I only ever said it's my right to choose whether I do or don't and that it's completely nonsensical for anyone to suggest it's a right to have your messages replied to or an obligation to reply to messages. I'm curious about just what type of people 'these types of people' that you refer to are Mooka??? I'm pretty sure RHP is a melting pot of all types, just like the world outside of RHP is.And now ... enough on this topic from me. lilmiss x
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RHP User
15 years ago
guys get annoyed as they have shelled out the money to make the contact. But like most things in life you buy things and get nothing in return. So 2 good points there. that is why i consider replying a nice "no" as etiquette of rhp. Although people dont have to follow it :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Unrequited attention breeds contempt. Now if we were all flirty and had it in our heads to make this community feel sexy... there'd be so many more members to pick from! Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Now waits patiently to get responses for my 450 unresponded messages
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RHP User
15 years ago
The assumption has been that men have forked out to send messages, so could someone please tell me that guys don't just flirt with me so that I will open up a dialogue? Some of thee women pay to be members, and receive extra flirts from guys (guests) so far out of our criteria that it is time-consuming and annoying having to respond when they do not take the time to really read what we are after. Ok, so I don't use all my messages, particularly when I have a few guys I am already chatting to, but I will use my messages when I want. If I don't receive a response from someone I have taken the time to 'speak' with, then that is their loss, not mine and I just go on without whining about it. That being said, if you have taken the time to read my profile and comment on it in a reply written just for me, I will respond, unless it is in one of the periods I have been away from the site (which I do on a semi-regular basis). xxJ
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RHP User
15 years ago
Luvtosmile (why aren't you smiling in the pic?)I dont think anyone has complaints when you ignore someone that is obviously totally not your type according to your profile. It is more confusing when you message someone that appears to be after someone exactly like you and then either not get a reply or get a reply saying they aren't after men (when it says they are on their profile), or that you arent their type, left scratching the head on a few of those, especially when their profile says they are up for it with anyone?
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RHP User
15 years ago
yeah i never get replys...which i guess just means they aren't interested which is totally up to them. keeps me wondering though.....has she read it??? maybe shes too busy? did i word the message right? did i offend her without meaning to?did it come across as too desperate.i often tend to over exaggerate somethings somethings lol etc....hard to tell without a reply :)although if its been a few days and no reply its pretty safe to say its a no go for mebris
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RHP User
15 years ago
I was too busy concentrating on taking the pic to bother smiling for the camera. I will say though, if you have me crawl up between your naked legs I'll be smiling widely(or should that be wildly)...before you are!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
the fact of the matter is...most women can pick and choose at will...and will go for the one that most appeals to them...no matter how much their type you think you are.And before you go saying im wrong...think of this.100 women in a room...ALL fitting your criteria for the most part.Are you gonna go up to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM and say....sorry....you're not my type...sorry...you have obviously lied on your profile...sorry...your looks aren't what I expected...sorry....you look NOTHING like your photos...sorry...your tits are too small....blah blah blah..ad nauseum.No...you're not.You may reply to the first few....then meet one you like...and suddenly..you forget all about all the others.Your attention is now elsewhere.We all have differing ideas on what is proper etiquette...but making the attacks personal is not a good idea anywhere.JMO...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'MissBJ' the fact of the matter is...most women can pick and choose at will...and will go for the one that most appeals to them...no matter how much their type you think you are.Totally Agree.Its a cryin' shame, and i envy your position, but i totally agree
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'iluvtosmile' I was too busy concentrating on taking the pic to bother smiling for the camera. I will say though, if you have me crawl up between your naked legs I'll be smiling widely(or should that be wildly)...before you are!!! Well if that was the case I know I'd be smiling
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RHP User
15 years ago
So I have read all the replies and some I must say actually were contradicting themselves. What constitutes a "Crass message"? Is it as Lilmiss said "I want to stick my cock up your arse and choke you"? (Never received one of them myself)! Or is it such messages as what they would like to do to you sexually? Umm does your profile state anything sexual? Did you fill in the "Sexual Interests" or "Fetish" boxes? Did you expect messages like..."I like to take you for a walk in the park hand in hand and to gaze into each others eyes as the sun sets"?? Sorry to break this to you...but it's an ADULT site...not a dating site....an adult site!! And I stick by the fact that people's messages should be replied too. I have men contact me that are out of my age range or don't fit into my lengthy criteria...but at least they still get a "Quick Reply" if nothing else. That way I either don't hear from them again or they send me a message back thanking me for my reply!! The amount of messages I get thanking me for my reply is amazing!! They usually state how rare (if ever) it is for them to get any kind of reply! In the end it is just manners...and you either have them or you don't. Thanks to my parents...I have always had them and never lost them along lifes journey! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'rick2428' Quoting 'MissBJ' the fact of the matter is...most women can pick and choose at will...and will go for the one that most appeals to them...no matter how much their type you think you are.Totally Agree.Its a cryin' shame, and i envy your position, but i totally agree Don't envy my position...I am not one of the "most".JMO...BJxxx
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wannabyummymummy
15 years ago
I have to say that i LOVE this one, the single guys on here cop such a bad wrap and not always with good reason.I think that a basic reply regardless of if it is a 'yes' or 'no' is not that hard to manage (you can create templates after all), lets face it, if a guy got up the courage to come up to you in a club/bar to ask you to dance or to buy you a drink, would you just turn your back and say nothing??? (mmmm perhaps some would) I certainly wouldn't, it takes guts to approach a girl in person or on a site like this and it can really knock a guys confidence to get ignored and really i think it is just plain rude.I do have a policy to reply to all flirts and messages and i am sure i have missed the odd one here and there ( i know i am not perfect) and at the moment i am not replying to flirts because i have clearly stated on my profile that i am taking a break at the moment and have asked for no flirts and messages at the moment, and you know what?? i have only had the odd random flirt/message from guys i don't know which indicates that guys actually CAN read (contrary to popular belief)I must say that I myself have been guilty in the past of complaining about guys and couples who don't read profiles completely but have since changed my views to think that if they haven't read completely doesn't mean they dont deserve a reply, after all, profiles can be misleading, and misread and sometimes it is the ones you think that are not a match that you have the most fun with Anyway in the end EVERYONE has the right to choose for themselves what is right for them, but i think that it is important to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a second and think how you would feel being ignored??
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' So I have read all the replies and some I must say actually were contradicting themselves. Funloving - My apologies, I know I contradicted myself...it's this Libran sitting on the fence and seeing both sides of an argument. I realise I should be better about returning messages...the other side pushing it back on the whinging men was just a PMS thing!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'wannabyummymummy' I have to say that i LOVE this one, the single guys on here cop such a bad wrap and not always with good reason.I think that a basic reply regardless of if it is a 'yes' or 'no' is not that hard to manage (you can create templates after all), lets face it, if a guy got up the courage to come up to you in a club/bar to ask you to dance or to buy you a drink, would you just turn your back and say nothing??? (mmmm perhaps some would) I certainly wouldn't, it takes guts to approach a girl in person or on a site like this and it can really knock a guys confidence to get ignored and really i think it is just plain rude.I do have a policy to reply to all flirts and messages and i am sure i have missed the odd one here and there ( i know i am not perfect) and at the moment i am not replying to flirts because i have clearly stated on my profile that i am taking a break at the moment and have asked for no flirts and messages at the moment, and you know what?? i have only had the odd random flirt/message from guys i don't know which indicates that guys actually CAN read (contrary to popular belief)I must say that I myself have been guilty in the past of complaining about guys and couples who don't read profiles completely but have since changed my views to think that if they haven't read completely doesn't mean they dont deserve a reply, after all, profiles can be misleading, and misread and sometimes it is the ones you think that are not a match that you have the most fun with Anyway in the end EVERYONE has the right to choose for themselves what is right for them, but i think that it is important to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a second and think how you would feel being ignored?? I would say no...I wouldn't turn my back and say nothing.BUT...if said guy came up to me in a bar and said..."fucking bend over so i can stick my big fat cock in your wet fucking pussy"then he should be thankful if all i do is turn my back on him.It's not the fact the guy is single...or married...or whatever that leads me to not reply.It's the CONTENT of the message...the tone...the language...Don't talk to me like you think I'm a dirty slut...and i wont ignore you like a rude bitch.JMO...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Does it matter that much? Simply leave and do something else if you've had enough. Every once in a while I pay to message someone who has caught my attention. Sometimes they reply then after my membership has expired, I'll usually go away for a number of months before curiosity takes ahold and I pop in here again to see who is around. If someone catches my attention then I'll contact them. If not, I go away again. On sites like these, some reply and a lot don't. That's just the way it is.Quoting 'mooka' Littlemiss, I do understand what you are saying and you are right, no one has an obligation to reply. But consider this, you see someone you want to contact, you like their profile, you fit their criteria, so you send them a flirt, a bit of an ice breaker so to speak. They respond, yes, they are interested and are awaiting a msg from you. So you send one, and nothing happens. You check, you know they have been online, but they haven't even opened your msg. How would you feel, not happy I bet. Specially since you have a very high regard of yourself. You would be angry, you would be pissed off because someone just snubbed you, they thought you are not worth even 5 seconds of their precious time. But of course that could never happen could it ...... To all, does anyone ever wonder why some guys here resort to abusive msgs, maybe they are just so fed up with women acting like they are doing them a favour just by having a profile here. Seriously, some of the women on this site need a reality check, they might be popular on here but in real life they probably lead a very lonely and non-existant life. mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'GirlTuesday' I shall endeavour to lift my game and improve my manners from now on. I shall never be fond of the really creepy messages though, so those people will probably wait longer for a response.... I think that messages that are creepy or crass definitely don't deserve a reply. The ideal outcome in my opinion would be that every woman would decide on a minimum standards for messages - above which, she answers and below, she doesn't. I think that by answering all messages you encourage the creepy guys, which doesn't lift the quality of the site overall.A reply to a decent message will encourage a man to keep up the quality - no answer will tell him that his message didn't merit a response. Every woman is entitled to decide for herself what constitutes quality. Does this not suit everyone reasonably well?
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wannabyummymummy
15 years ago
Quoting 'MissBJ' Quoting 'wannabyummymummy' I have to say that i LOVE this one, the single guys on here cop such a bad wrap and not always with good reason.I think that a basic reply regardless of if it is a 'yes' or 'no' is not that hard to manage (you can create templates after all), lets face it, if a guy got up the courage to come up to you in a club/bar to ask you to dance or to buy you a drink, would you just turn your back and say nothing??? (mmmm perhaps some would) I certainly wouldn't, it takes guts to approach a girl in person or on a site like this and it can really knock a guys confidence to get ignored and really i think it is just plain rude.I do have a policy to reply to all flirts and messages and i am sure i have missed the odd one here and there ( i know i am not perfect) and at the moment i am not replying to flirts because i have clearly stated on my profile that i am taking a break at the moment and have asked for no flirts and messages at the moment, and you know what?? i have only had the odd random flirt/message from guys i don't know which indicates that guys actually CAN read (contrary to popular belief)I must say that I myself have been guilty in the past of complaining about guys and couples who don't read profiles completely but have since changed my views to think that if they haven't read completely doesn't mean they dont deserve a reply, after all, profiles can be misleading, and misread and sometimes it is the ones you think that are not a match that you have the most fun with Anyway in the end EVERYONE has the right to choose for themselves what is right for them, but i think that it is important to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a second and think how you would feel being ignored?? I would say no...I wouldn't turn my back and say nothing.BUT...if said guy came up to me in a bar and said..."fucking bend over so i can stick my big fat cock in your wet fucking pussy"then he should be thankful if all i do is turn my back on him.It's not the fact the guy is single...or married...or whatever that leads me to not reply.It's the CONTENT of the message...the tone...the language...Don't talk to me like you think I'm a dirty slut...and i wont ignore you like a rude bitch.JMO...BJxxx Fair call as always Miss BJ, i agree it does depend on content and I have been known to reply to the crass ones in a not so nice manner myself in an effort to show them light to the error of thier ways only to be called a number of names (sticks and stones really) the trouble i think is that mostly as a society we have lost basic communication skills and manners and sadly there are some guys (and couples and come to think of it ladies too) who are not capable of structuring a decent message and so resort to rudeness and really that is sad for them and they really have no one to blame but themselves if people don't reply, but i think that the original point to the post was to highlight those that don't even bother to open a message let alone reply to one,it makes you wonder what they are here for in the first place really????
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RHP User
15 years ago
yes woman should pay the same as guys. its an outrage that men are discriminated in 2010?? however...if half the single guys had backbones and werent woosy lapdogs, and learnt how to speak to women past ..."man your hot will you please let me lick you?" The women would have to work harder and again would apreciate a nice flirt or heavens above , have to send flirts themselves , because the single guys STOPPED spending out flirts to anyone with a pulse!! come on guys...wake up here..YOU are setting the standard for yourselves. Make the girls work for it...dont just give it away... :> Neo ps. great answers Mooka and sweetypie
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'NeoAndTrinity' yes woman should pay the same as guys. its an outrage that men are discriminated in 2010?? however...if half the single guys had backbones and werent woosy lapdogs, and learnt how to speak to women past ..."man your hot will you please let me lick you?" The women would have to work harder and again would apreciate a nice flirt or heavens above , have to send flirts themselves , because the single guys STOPPED spending out flirts to anyone with a pulse!! come on guys...wake up here..YOU are setting the standard for yourselves. Make the girls work for it...dont just give it away... :> Neo ps. great answers Mooka and sweetypie ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (sorry bout title, don't speak french, man) never send msg or flirts less ta catch up with mates or to reply. exception bein when the new stream started, thought i'd won lotto an noone had told me. even sent a friends request to a nice couple who had a KILLER ute man. got a VERY polite reply something bout not knowin me so were sorry to decline my request.... ahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha LOVE this place man....... ahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahha Earl
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RHP User
15 years ago
i find that this tends to happen a lot on most adult/sex sites/dating sites in general,now i do agree with most of you.but everytime i go the effort of making a well thought out message i always end up being snubbed and yes its quite annoying,i mean is really that hard to say i'm not interested or no or thanks for the message or something?
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RHP User
15 years ago
I let my wife meet single guys if they match her needs. So she meets this Ameican guy and they find a a very hot sexual relationship. It extends to overnights saturday into sunday. Then he wants it to be EVERY weekend. Why can't he realise that if he is sharing a married woman, he can't take her away from her family all the time. I feel like stopping it if he can't be more aware of my needs. Every woman needs a bit of freedom, but in the single guy has to be less selfish.
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RHP User
15 years ago
...a hot sexy voluptuous man...luv ya babe, gave up on these sites because of what you posted. Only a rainy boring Saturday bought me here again for some reason...seeing yr pic made it much more worthwhile though, then reading yr post *gasp*, i love you, yr awesome
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RHP User
15 years ago
If they dont reply to the first message, even if its a No thank you, i consider them a FAKE/TIMEWASTER and notify as much men and women out there as possible.Thats right. Its a community of singles here. We look out for each other. We help each other find partners. We black list those that deserve it, and green list those that are real and honest (even if they replied "no thanks")The best guys out there (or in this site) never bothered to send messages.. why? cos its wasting thier time and money with so many timewasters and fakes. And what they left you with? millions of messages of dickheads .. the ones you DONT want.So, think about it.. :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
xFunlovingx ...if we did not already have a woman running this country, I would be happy to help form an independent party, fund your campaign and ensure that you got the swing votes (pardon the intentional pun) to put you in office! You have always been in the big league in my books for what it's worth...welcome to the "Hall of Fame"!! Hey...what if we were to stage a coup d'état and just put you in office? Let's face it....Julia is only there by lack of choices and has no children because NO man in Australia has ever been THAT drunk! Well said...you rock!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Will usually respond to a msg with a msg and a flirt with a flirt - only takes two or a few cliks :)
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boots_69
15 years ago
I know my the number of answers to messages sent ratio for me is about 8 to 1 and of those most would be along the lines of thanks but no thanks. Being brought up to be polite I will then send a reply of thankyou and hope you find what your looking for and haas resulted in several good conversations.Unfortunately it is a sign of todays society where the put down is funny and abusive is supposed to be good (if you don't believe me watch the tele) Mabe if we turn this around then you ladies wouldn't get the messages you so dislike and would have more time to answer those with a little thought.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'twoactive'Will usually respond to a msg with a msg and a flirt with a flirt - only takes two or a few cliks :) It's not that hard to give a "Quick Reply" to a message...as you said two click!! But some of the flirts I must admit are hard to answer to...If someone says "I just want to say I loved your profile"...there really is not reply to that! I used to reply with "Thanks, flattery gets you everywhere"...but it then had the guys wasting their messages on me as they thought that I was interested. I also don't reply to "Damn, your hot, what do you think of me"...as I find that most of these come from when guys Rate me and it automatically sends a flirt unless they untick the box. We really do need better replies I feel. Like, "You live too far away" or just a plain "Thank you". xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have sent 151 messages Reply Rate: 44% I have received 67 messages I have sent 162 flirts Reply Rate: 4%
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'tallone1979' I have sent 151 messages Reply Rate: 44% I have received 67 messages I have sent 162 flirts Reply Rate: 4% It depends on how you interpret the numbers and how you actually arrived at them. If you sent a single message to 151 women and 67 of those women replied, then yes, you would have a 44% reply rate. If you sent a single message to 85 women and subsequently swapped 66 messages with one of them, you'd have less than a 1.2% reply rate.Raw numbers don't really cut it - they can mean whatever we want them to. Lies, damned lies... and statistics...
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RHP User
15 years ago
All I can say is treat others how you would like to be treated. What happenned to common decency. Fair enough girls if the guy is sending you constant unwanted messages or is being crude. These guys make it hard for the rest of us genuine people. Is this what society has come to where we just are so self involved in ourselves and no-one else matters. No wonder the world is going down hill in a hurry. Common courtesy can have a butterfly effect. As Human beings we have an obligation to give each other a fair go. Personally it is no skin off my nose if I get a reply or not as it says alot about the person anyway if they choose to reply or not. Having said that these guys that constantly Harass girls well that's another subject, but thats not on either.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Been reading this thread and been on this site for around a few weeks. Like most said it's hard for a genuine single guy on a site like this. Most of us are the gentleman and try to show respect when trying to contact someone we're interested in. Unfortunately there's not enough women compared to men or the women are looking for couples which makes our search even tougher. So every woman would obviously get annoyed when they get 100 msgs/flirts a day which is understandable. That happening doesn't give the nice guys looking for a partner a chance because they don't even take the time to respond. I personally have sent messages and flirts and don't expect a reply. When I do I'm happy someone took the time to read or respond even if it were a rejection or "sorry you're not my type". I've had some compliments too about myself from some nice ladies here which made me feel good about myself even if we didn't get passed the meeting stage. Though sometimes I feel if we actually did meet and they took the time to get to know me we really could hit it off. Though being an adult dating site we all have the ability to just judge based on pictures and short infos on what we're looking for but in real life we're all different or act different out in the world. ***sorry for wall of text*** as you can see I'm a very highly opinionated person :P
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RHP User
15 years ago
Yes well said indeed! I was once a paid member but just a guest at the mo because I got frustrated from all the un-replied messages. And I can assure you they were not crass or rude. Its just a matter of courtesy and being polite to reply to messages. Of course, if the message was downright rude then it doesn't deserve a reply. I don't think replying to message is a right as such but more being courteous to one another! I just hope that things will improve after this post. Thanks, randy...
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RHP User
15 years ago
In a nut shell you have to be patient or end up being one. You have to Hang in there, out there or on there as the moment decrees. Happy daze Ken
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RHP User
15 years ago
There seems to be a fair sense of female entitlement in whether to respond or not to respond to the advances of men on here. I agree that most of it boils down to personal choice and your views, personal experiences and up bringing. That said, I don't blame women for not responding to men when you consider what your reaction would be in a "real world" situation with a potentially offensive or crass approach. Some of the things I've seen/heard from guys attempting to pick up my female friends leave me gobsmacked at the best of times, let alone some of the propositions women have thrown my way. I haven't been listed with this site for to long and joined on the recommendation of a female friend who loves RHP. Curiosity got the better of me and even though I consider myself a bit of a naughty type, there's always a right way and a wrong way to go about your business. Acting from the comfort of your own home provides an unneeded dose of Dutch courage for some and they exploit that to the chagrin of all involved. I assume most people are here for a good time, to meet/chat with interesting individuals and see what else happens. I suggest that if you are that pent up on getting a response from someone either rightly or wrongly then perhaps you should change your tune from "that rude bitch" to "well she's missing out on a good time with a cool person" then. What some ladies need to realize is some single guys are single by choice and use this website as a little value add to already busy and interesting personal lives and careers.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Another brilliant post by xFunlovingx where again you're sticking up for the guys, (i think i've read 2 today?).I don't know about the other blokes, but I never send a message expecting a reply, as I (maybe wrongly) assumed that part of the appeal of these types of sites to women was the ability to be selective and altogether avoid unwanted advances & contact. Once or twice I've seen the other side and the absolute bombardment some women get, and I can see how responding to all of them could seem pointless, or overwhelming depending which way you look at it.However, girls, just because I don't expect a response, more specifically when I know perfectly well I don't quite fit the seeking criteria, but am either trying to entice you with my sexual textual jibber jabber, (or possibly an obligation free compliment) , doesn't mean that receiving one isn't appreciated.Even though xFunlovingx has mentioned that she does have a default reply template, IMO it's a breath of fresh air to see someone displaying courtesy to a person unknown, for no other reason than it's a nice thing to do. Also guys, ignore the hypocrisy for a moment because to be honest, I've sent some farkt up lewd, rude, or just rambling senseless messages at times, but it is still worth us holding our end of the courtesy bargain too because here has been times when I've put just that little bit of thought into what I'm typing, and I have actually read the profile in it's entirity, and in the same message as the polite decline, there'll be a sentence or question that leads to a few more messages.Not unwarranted, persistent, or stalkerish replies from myself, nor firmer go-aways from her, but just a couple of things about me to her, and to me about her. Did it make me a friend? No. Did I marry her? No. Did I at least get my end in? No.It's just that 30 seconds of thought, maybe a giggle and a pleasant few words between 2 strangers through a phoneline just makes me smile for a second and think that there are still some polite, friendly people around, unlike the bloke who walked past my front fence with a frown and ignored my G'day.Maybe the world isn't such a bad place, manners aren't extinct and the internet hasn't yet turned us all into instant gratification seeking narcissistic social retards like the media keeps trying to tell me.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Im 19 and have on my profile 18-25 saying that if a decent 26-28 yr old guy msgs me sure i'll reply....But im not going to reply to ANYONE over 30
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RHP User
15 years ago
Your profile is quite clear, so I wouldn't likely send you a message. Some women will put a preferred age range on though, but then say that they're up for basically anything from anyone. Under those circumstances, men will ignore the age preference and send a speculator anyway.I would suggest that part of the reason that you get so many messages from guys outside your range is that many women are not as unambiguous as you are. There are actually quite a number of girls your age interested in older men - unfortunately, you end up carrying the load for them. Bad luck, but I wouldn't change it even if I could...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting '280177' Quoting 'steph91' Im 19 and have on my profile 18-25 saying that if a decent 26-28 yr old guy msgs me sure i'll reply....But im not going to reply to ANYONE over 30 Can I ask..what the hell is with the stigma of "30"??? Is it just a nice round number to cut guys off at? As far as I'm concerned...I'm exactly the same guy I was when I was say 25-26, just have more life experience and probably a little more jaded about things. but physically I've not changed in 5-7 years...so why are women hot in their "dirty 30's" but men are suddenly taken out to the back paddock and shot the moment they hit 30?? *****Warning, overdue rant follows Numbers, are you for real, honestly, do you ever read what you type? Steph is well within her rights to choose who she meets, and what age she prefers. She is 19, to her anyone 30+ is probably ancient. I knew as soon as I read her post that it would irk you. I could imagine you sitting there, steam coming from your ears and you bleat (yet again) about some young girl not throwing herself at your feet. It seems that the only person that can have an ideal partner is YOU!!! Now let me see if I have this right, you have specified the criteria so many times anyway: Under 30, slim, childless, sexy, perperually horny (hopefully Bi), oh highly educated and probably blonde - in other words a Barbie Doll to your Ken. I never checked young Steph's profile but god help her if she has friends who possess a 6 pack, but then we would have heard of that bleat too. Seriously Numbers, I have never seen someone commit cyber suicide so adeptly before, you could walk around with $100 bills tied to your cock in a whore house and you wouldn't get laid with the negative attitude you have. FFS lighten up, stop bitching and maybe, if it isn't too late, women might take you seriously here. At present I can't see any woman who has read any of your posts being willing to meet you. **** End of rant Steph, well done to you for sticking to your guns. You have stated your preferred age group, no one is forcing you to meet someone you evidently don't want to meet or even correspond to. All I can suggest is make a auto reply stating "Thanks but you are outside of my age criteria" and just send that to anyone who doesn't read your profile properly. Mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Tears of laughter running down my face..... Quoting Mooka: "Seriously Numbers, I have never seen someone commit cyber suicide so adeptly before, you could walk around with $100 bills tied to your cock in a whore house and you wouldn't get laid with the negative attitude you have" That's Gold Mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'mooka' I never checked young Steph's profile but god help her if she has friends who possess a 6 pack, but then we would have heard of that bleat too. lol, I did.. she does .. thankfuly we didn't get it :)280177: I can 'kinda' see where you're coming from - I look young, if I ran into Steph while out n about she wouldn't know I was 31 - most people usually assume I'm anything from 21 upto about 24, 25 if I haven't shaved in a long while. But I'm not going to get all bent out of shape about it.It is her choice - most people's age cutoffs probably leave out some smoking hot people they'd love to play with - Teri Hatcher is 45, Kim Cattrall is 54 - if they (or lookalikes) checked my profile and then didn't message me cause they were outside the age range, damn right I'd be kicking myself (Kim, Teri, msg me ok :) ). You have a cutoff at 45, why exclude older? is it a hard cutoff or just a rough guideline?Steph: I think the problem is that while you do give an age range, in the "who you're looking for" it says "everyone"... so changing that might make it a bit clearer and people over the age range won't contact you.
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RHP User
15 years ago
you say that you don't want men that are 30 or over contacting you?? But yet, you have 8 men 30 and above on your friends list as well as one guy over 40!! So, if men look at that (as some do) do you blame them for trying?? You really are sending mixed messages with your profile. While you state the age at the top of your profile you do say "Everyone" under "What I am looking for". Maybe if you put down what you ACTUALLY are after (age group, height, looks, etc), then they might take a bit more notice! Doesn't hurt to send a "Quick Reply"...."Sorry, but you don't match what I'm looking for"! That will then close the message down for you. Good luck xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Yeah well there were heaps of profiles with whom I was a 90% compatible match and after sending them the most basic and decent message asking them "how were they doing" or " I hope to have a chat with you some time" or "your profile seems really nice I hope I catch your attention" etc......99% of them have chosen not to reply me back it got me thinking may be I was being too nice...may I should have stick to those indecent to the point messages and shown a grave sense of disrespect to all those beautiful women......but the truth is that I know that still wouldnt help......women here on this site have the privilege and luxury of being noticed by dozens and dozens everyday and they do choose to be total snob about it because they can.......there isnt any other explanation....I think....
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