M41
Should men have rights when it comes to abortion/termination?
February 23 2013
Comments
-
RHP User
13 years ago
...but in the end, the decision must be that of the woman. Her body, her choice.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
For example as a result of a one night stand where a girl lies and says she is on the pill but she isn't and say the condom split. Should a man be held responsible for her lies? Accidents happen but I am sure there have been a few cases where a woman would get pregnant so as to claim benefits from a guy. On the other hand if a guy could just walk away from a relationship with no responsibility imagine the mayhem that would erupt. There always needs to be blanket rules and laws but there should always be leeway for individual cases.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Tortured,the father of my child decided that when I was five months pregnant he didn't want to have anything to do with either me or our child and married someone else when my daughter was a month old. His financial contribution over the next eighteen years was precisely zero.When she was eight I basically compelled him to meet her because she was desperate to know him.It did not go well.By that time she had a brother who was four. Over the next fifteen years my daughter saw her father and brother during school holidays when she flew down to Melbourne to visit my mother.Eight years ago her father told her she had a sister living in London,a child whose mother he had abondoned thirty years before.Her sister came to Australia and the siblings met for the first time.Their father paid for the two younger ones to go to their sister's wedding in England four years ago,my daughter got to meet uncles,aunts ,cousins and to bond with her father and two siblings.She says it was the best three weeks of her life. The reason I am telling you this story is to point out that there has to be consideration for the child.Regardless of what I felt about her father,I always wanted my daughter to have a relationship with him.To know her family,to feel a sense of belonging,when a mother or a father walks away from a child the child looses so much.And so does that parent.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Let me ask you a question? Your daughter comes home and tells you that she is pregnant ... now I assume that you will help pay for your grandchild for 18 years because according to you...Once a guy gets his dick wet and CHOOSES to leave a pregnant women to fend for herself then it is up to your daughter to raise that child without the fathers help? Right? Am I right? Would you pay for your grandchild because you thnk it is OK for a guy to leave a woman while she is carrying his child? No responsibility should be on him! Right? xFunlovingx
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Why is it her responsibility to be on the pill? You're more the moron for taking a strangers word on the first night! I have been telling my son since he was 10 to always take responsibility for contraception! That unless he sees a girl taking the pill evey day then to always assume that she isn't and WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM! A Condom breaking is NOT her responsibility...it HAPPENS! . When I was 14 I had a blood clot in my leg...I have never been allowed on the pill because of this! . Years later my daughter was born with my IUD in her hand! I believe she was meant to be here! But it still shocked my partner and I! . Benefits? What benefits? Do you even know how much it costs to raise and school a child? I'm guessing you have no idea...I really get pissed off with guys like you that put it on the females and think it is about the Benefits! Yeah sure, you go and live on $750 a fortnight while feeding, clothing, schooling and whatever other activitiies your son/daughter might be into ...You wouldn't last a month! Remember there is mortgage/rent/utilities/food to pay just like someone with a job! So you tell me what they get out of benefits? xFunlovingx
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Sorry havent had early morning frappe yet. This is a a requirement to get Shinas happening for the day Are you saying that if a woman decides to keep a child and the bloke bails before she gives birth - by this action he is not in the least bit responsible in any shape or form towards the child... ...................but he is responsible if he bails after she gives birth ? am I reading this rite ???? Cause if that is how Im interpreting this forum.......Im sorry but I cant see this thread remaining civil........ You both take that risk and responsibility when you both decided to do the horizsontal cha cha....and if anything happens as a result of that liasion being her falling pregnant, a STD - whatever ..so be it. This is a joint venture... Quoting...For example as a result of a one night stand where a girl lies and says she is on the pill but she isn't and say the condom split. Should a man be held responsible for her lies? Accidents happen but I am sure there have been a few cases where a woman would get pregnant so as to claim benefits from a guy. From the moment you decide to bed each other.................then anything that results from that is for both of you to deal with....What about a man that lies and says his had a vasectomy ? ..I know of a such a case and it resulted in a pregnancy................. - stereotyping women as lairs ?? You take a risk in more ways thatn one...when you bed someone....the moral of the story is simple Think long and hard about how who you bed..............now I wonder how many of us truly do that ???? Hugs Freya...
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I thought you were suggesting that a man should be allowed to insist on an abortion to avoid involvement. What your suggesting is different, ofcourse. A man does not have to maintain a union with a woman he does not want to be with but he should still offer support to a child he helped create. Twenty seven years ago, I was seeing a girl but the relationship really wasn't going anywhere so we split up. I found out sometime later that the girl had a child seven or eight months after we split up. I tried to locate her but she had moved, leaving no forwarding address and hadn't returned to her job. They told me she had never returned after maternity leave. We had no mutual friends. I got word to her through one of her work colleagues that I would like to see her but she wasn't interested. I would have liked to have helped where ever I could but this was denied me. Whether the child was male or female and whether I am trully the father, I just don't know. I may well be a Grandfather. I did all I could for my boys when I divorced their mother. I always gave more than was required by the Centrelink calculations. They are my kids and deserve the best I can provide regardless of my feelings towards my ex. So, still the woman's choice, I guess. If you put your seed inside her and she chooses to carry the child to term, you have a responsibilit to the child if not the mother.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Freya, when staring at a two dimensional computer screen, it always amazes me that your personality, more than anyone one else on RHP, shines through with so much depth. Your sensitivity, compassion, spirituality, humour and intelligence always makes me pause and take notice. You are a very special woman. Lots of love, Paul.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
This is a hypothetical, I certainly don't agree that a guy should leave, but on the other hand I don't believe a guy should be trapped either. This is more about the type of woman who uses abortion as a contraceptive rather than the women/couple who uses proper protection and gets pregnant accidentally, again many grey areas. I would support my daughter/grandchild in any way I could. To give you an idea, my ex and I split 5 weeks before my daughter was born. I chose to be a part of our daughters life regardless of the messed up situation that I found myself in. Having said that, I certainly understand why a person would want to get as far away as possible from such a situation.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Shinas- I disagree with a guy bailing period, but the fact is there are some women out there (and men) who use the fact that they have a child to someone in order to trap them. And there is no leeway in that situation for the guy in particular, whereas a woman has the option to abort if they decide that the relationship is no good, if they couldn't support the child etc etc. and I agree on the insistence of wearing protection. I also agree that we should be far more strict/controlled about who we decide to sleep with, sadly it's not the case in many cases.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I am coming into this discussion with another point of view - what happens when you are married and the father leaves when the child is 3 years old and won't have anything to do with said child. My son was brought up by a step father who adored him because his paternal father refused to acknowledge him or me. I received no payment from the father to support us. My point is that it isn't only single guys that can/try/do walk out when there is a child involved
-
RHP User
13 years ago
thank you both xx
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Torturedcliche'Shinas- I disagree with a guy bailing period, but the fact is there are some women out there (and men) who use the fact that they have a child to someone in order to trap them. And there is no leeway in that situation for the guy in particular, whereas a woman has the option to abort if they decide that the relationship is no good, if they couldn't support the child etc etc. and I agree on the insistence of wearing protection. I also agree that we should be far more strict/controlled about who we decide to sleep with, sadly it's not the case in many cases. And will continue to do so.....society will never change...yes women are very capable of knowing when they are at their most fertile and can "trap" a man- but thats the risk you take isnt it ? - all a man can do is ensure his is responsible for his own protection (condom) as best he can, when he comes to the table........or he abstains...(pretty sure theres no AK47 pointed at his head - he makes choices ) ...these are your only two options......in this matter yes women to a degree have the upper hand...its about the only thing we ever have the upper hand on.. !!! I was told over 20 odd years ago I would never have children - as I was sterile due to chemotherpy treatment for AML - accordingly I never used contraception........bang (and yes there was a bang) I fell pregnant 2 years ago ..it was like the Immaculate bloody Conception ( I had fallen sick again with AML and somehow this triggered off my ability to reproduce again ) - my partner was beyond stunned and so was I...........for all of mans cockiness when it comes to controling contraception - sometimes Mother Nature says simply FUCK YOU MEDICINE ...sadly I lost the baby at 17 weeks......due to the AML - yes my partner was relieved....and to a degree so was I..I was 46 and too old and by then sick....but that didnt mean I was shattered... My mother had all daughters (3) - my parents fostered my brother years later Once, a friend of my moms who had two sons, said to her (like this was 1972 or something) ...I pity you, you having all daughters - you know they can all get pregnant.!!! ..........she was quite smug My mother replied..... I pity you having all sons..my daughters will always know who the true father is !!!! Thank god for DNA - 800 bucks and a quick swab around the cheeks and the answers are known within a week................ IMHO the extraction of DNA was and is the greatest medical advancement of all time..especially in these matters (not to mention the solving of cold cases) However you will never change human nature When you bed someone...you take a risk on many levels - physically, emotionally , reproductively, pyschologically etc etc..Im sorry did you think it was just a quick shag/rumble tumble for a hour or so???? and lets throw in the whole STD debate ..fuck me why would you ever fuck ????????????? ...and as poster RSJ57 ritely points..for all the CSA stuff that goes on.......I know a shit load of men who still get away with not paying ..........and before you start decrying....I know of a case where the man has the children and she doesnt pay..........it works both ways.......and that is tragic..you bring a child into the world who btw doesn't asked to be born..and then when one party gets sick ot the responsibility and bails..the other is literally left holding the baby !!! My hat goes off to all parents.....more so those singles ones.........who are just doing the best they can with what they have, under the circumstances. And I come back to my original statement...........think long and hard about who you shag...........cause my god..cant you pay for a single bonk... in so so many ways for such a long time...but lets face it.. do you ? do you think about it ? REALLY think about it ????????????????????? Nope...hormones and lust tends to get in the way Im thinking about who Id like to bonk rite now
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Is the only thing that matters. both my parents bailed on me and my sister we ended up in an orphanage dad had two more sons but married again and raised them as a dad should mum had several lovers and had three more children, two went to foster homes and one was adopted out sow your seeds and pay the price , no matter who the mother is or what you feel about her if you put your seed into a woman, then you own what comes of that its called being a man
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Like button
-
Paradisepair
13 years ago
..
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I have 2 children of my own so I know only too well how much it costs to bring up two children. That being said I think it is naive of you to think that people don't Rort the benefits system. For an example my ex works 2 - 3 days a week cash in hand, no tax and this means she gets more benefits from centerlink and from me in the form of child support. I don't particularly begrudge her even though she gets more money now than when we were together and i was the sole income earner. but there are many more, men and women alike, rorting the welfare system. I was just making one example where there needs to be some form of safeguard for men from people like that. Im not saying that the majority of women would do it but there are some put there who would and i know of 2 cases where it happened. Just as there is safeguards for women aka child support for men who decide they don't want to perform their parental responsibilities. $750 a fortnight for a single mum is definitely not easy I would never think that but you are assuming that mums don't work with that figure.. Most women do these days.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I am with you that if they accidentally fall pregnant and a father doesn't want the child for what ever reasons he should be able to leave and not be obligated to put his life on hold and be under the thumb of the law to financially support it for 18 years. If you give a child up for adoption you are void from that child and obligations to support it so should there be something there when the woman wants it and the man doesn't to take him out of the equation? I do not think its right to do such a thing morally but I still think the option should be there. My father paid maintenance for years and for years he took mum to court to pay less and less,whenever I was sent to visit him he would go on "how my proxy mother was bleeding him dry and I would have to pay him back when I'm older" He how ever left when I was 7 so he agree to keep me and my brother but it didn't work. I know this will get flak but,if you choose to not want a child for your reasons and the woman had just got pregnant you should be able to vanish instead of be trapped for 18 years. That child will be much better off being raised by a step father. What happens down the track I don't know.- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
13 years ago
If you got your dick wet, deal with it. I don't care if she said she was barren or told you she was trying to get pregnant all along. You made that beautiful life. Support, nuture and love it. No ifs or buts, no grey areas. If you don't wanna be a parent, manage contraception yourself and know there are no certainties in life, bar abstinence. If you want to have nothing personal to do with the poor child that didn't ask to get born, so be it, but you better keep your hand in your pocket! Don't worry, the CSA doesn't ask for much. This perspective coming from someone whose ex is financially supportive (on the CSA minimum) but who has watched so many friends left to hold all the cards with only one hand. It's an impossible life and I detest the assumption women 'trapped' men, especially when they walk and the woman is left trapped.
-
Paradisepair
13 years ago
Kids are better off in the company of people who want them there. I think the earlier the parents work out that the relationship's not working the better.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
an option for men who don't want children is the snip,and then if you change your mind have it reversed. The snip would take away any anxiety that you may have, that those swimmers of yours are goin' for gold. Another option of course OP, is to only have sex with post menopausal women,no possibility of beebies then.However ya may have to ask 'em for a Doctor's certificate just to be certain,how embarrassment to father a child to a granny when you are under 30. But maybe the only certainty is that you adopt the contemplative life and join a monastery...no possibility at all of babies then.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
manage contraception yourself- I think a vasectomy and wearing condoms have me covered. Hotdiggety- I know of 3 women who try to have kids approximately 5 years apart. That way they don't have to work once the first child is at school. All 3 survive on centrelink and cash work. I also know for a fact that my ex works 6 days a week, 2 days of which are for cash. I have 50/50 custody and I still have to pay out my ass for child support- why? Because without those cash days she's earning much less than me. Then she has the cheek to borrow money off me for milk, bread and I've even had to give her money for food shopping and rent. I couldn't say no for my daughters sake of course.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Is different, each set of circumstances is unique. There is no cut and dried area in this debate at all and this could get very emtional very fast as it will push many buttons. We all have the sob stories (including my own). We can all sing our S/He done me wrong song and there are as many stories from both genders. I have had my ids, raised two and late in life was blessed with another. Never one skerrick of support have I asked for or received and worked my arse off to raise my babies. Big deal. It is what you do as a mother. On the other hand I know of three generations unemployed living in a housing commission house and the fourth generation in the belly now. I know of 17 year olds having thier 2nd baby....in care. I know of 16 year olds who have given birth and managed to raise great kids while working....me included. Each to thier own and no two cases are the same. Just because one man stuffs up......does not mean ALL men will stuff up. Just because one woman is a lazy biatch who takes advantage of the system...does not mean all are. . . If it is the mans rights to insist on an abortion.......no he has none. If it is the mans right to insist that she doesnt......no he has none. Her body, her choice.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Who have posted on this topic are some of he most Ill never want to meet. Honestly you guys really need to grow up.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I know what you are saying there, I would definitely never turn my ex in for the cash in hand job she is doing because, lets face it, we both only want what's best for the kids. I know this is a touchy subject for a lot of women and if I run the risk of being shot down as immature or selfish then so be it. I only want the best for my kids and if it meant looking after a child who was conceived in a one night stand by accident then so be it. the child support system has come a long way over the last few years as men are now theoretically equal part of their children's lives but unless you have been through it there is no way you could claim that the whole system has become equal. I'm only looking at this from the male perspective because that is what I am and I'm sure women look at abortion differently to a man.. I see a lot of people saying its a woman's body and her choice, well that is true. I am not talking about Being in a relationship here I am talking about those instances where a man has been taken for a ride. He has no choice in the abortion side of things why should she not be solely responsible for her choice if she did it on purpose. It seems to me to be a case of women wanting the decision but not wanting to take sole responsibility of that decision.
-
madotara69
13 years ago
I agree with the point, Freya expressed. I also agree with the point, Jensman expressed'Some people will come to these forums in search of answers for serious questions. Lonely single mothers with a child, for example.When Freya presents a message to the forums, people can count on her honesty and wisdom. Some people selflessly devote their selves to the well being for all. They are the truth.Thanks Freya, yes we all need to belong.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
what if the women decides to walk away after giving birth, the guy has no say but still liable for that child or children to the age of 18..what if that mother can sue doctor for mal-practise because he messed up sterilisation precedure and gets big payout to raise the children.. this has happened to me..not only do i not get to see my children grow,financialy im stuffed and now due to wage mis calulations over the years,, 13 grand of the workers comp pay out im receiving in the next couple of weeks for being injuried on the job is going to that mother..dont get me wrong i love kids but i wish i could have made her have an abortion in stead of saying .yeah i'll support you
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I'm in a much similar predicament to our lovely TC. However, I don't believe in changing the system. I love my daughters, and I love seeing them. But, once pregnant, it's never about the parents wants, needs, it's about the kids. It's about nurturing them, and teaching them, while interacting with them, making them laugh, preparing them for life. While I disagree with some of the things my ex does, and yes, at times she hurts me to no end, but I have the power as a single father to create the balance needed in their lives. To show them right from wrong, and to never close my heart to them in spite of my feelings....I can also choose if I give her money on top of what I already pay. But I think so many parents lose sight of the fact that being a parent is not the same as being in a relationship.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88163
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10229
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2521 Comments: 11677
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9759
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1009 Comments: 5267
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share