F52
Should honesty matter in NSA meets?
January 25 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
That you know he is in a relationship? And that you know this because you snooped on him? Does your husband know you're looking for sex elsewhere? If the answer to that one is "no", then who cares about honesty?
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gazpacho
12 years ago
One ought never ask a question of a lover that you don't really want to know the answer to. It makes no difference to you whether or not he is single, so why'd you have to go snooping? You're your own worse enemy. What if your subversive reconnaissance is inaccurate? What if he has a perfectly legitimate and quite personal reason for not telling you about her... Oh, for instance, to prevent you from asking four zillion questions about something which is none of your business? Seriously. You're onto a good thing. Why'd you have to go and fuck it all up? Your bottom needs a spanking! Hugs Gazpacho
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wingman2014
12 years ago
I think you should go with your gut feeling .... It's usually right But as a general rule don't play with someone who has less to loose than you if things go sour. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Clearly this bothers you otherwise you wouldn't have gone to all the trouble to fact check. I'm not going to tell you what to do just pointing out your own reaction.
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Go ahead and enjoy the experience t_i_c_k_l_e! Don't worry about his dishonesty about his relationship, unless you were seeking something serious, which you're not in your case. So, what's stopping you? :-) However, I would suggest you ask yourself what you want to do and follow your first instinct. And please be sure that you can separate your emotion from enjoying the experience. All the best OP :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm a bit of an honesty freak, i'm afraid i'd want to know why he lied, it doesn't really matter in the scheme of whats about to happen, BUT just out of curiosity id want to know why he thought it would matter if he said he was single or not...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Liars give me the heebie geebies. Can't trust them. Trust is important to me otherwise my head does itself in, and the sex is never as fun (actually it doesn't happen). If you can fuck without those 'strings' then have a blast. Good luck tickle, and welcome to the forums.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Discrete relations, can you trust the guy to keep a secret?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Welcome! . If the people I sleep with don't want to tell my about their private life it's one thing, but don't lie to my face. I can't have good sex with someone I don't respect. But that's just me. . If you can get past his lie, then go for it. I am curious to hear why you went looking into his private life though. Obviously his relationship status means something to you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We're big believers of "No smoke or mirrors." Why bullshit to someone that could turn out to be a long term great FWB.. Honesty is a must...Unless that's the way you always roll!
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madotara69
12 years ago
This question has come up several times, I can not find any meanings to make it possible. If you just want a quick and little for emotions root, OK But how can you have a connection to bring the intensity for a good fuck, if there is secrets in the way. They are a stopper, a door, a boundary, a closed entry to deeper introductions. Pretty plain sex if there is secrets, shallow emotions, eyes hazed sort of stuff. Personally, the secret would be better informed and there is no need for a secret if you can respect the matters to it as not your place or business to challenge the meanings, just the moments that belong to you two at that time. Why would there need to be a secret then. A little thing to consider, you have a secret now and how you have conducted yourself to manner of privacies may be the offensive part to all you have put forward. Careful to what an impulse and some gossip is to be considered worthy of a pat on the back. To manipulation becoming the intent. No, not how I/we do things, only answer is throw all cards on the table and hope spades don't come up strong over hearts. Or take your chances and hope the secrets don't apply to your time so they were not worth worry in the first place. Gossip changes the story every time it is spoken Mado tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your married and looking to play. You want honesty from the internet? and the tooth fairy left that money in the jar. The internet is smoke and mirrors honey. People lie to get laid. they also want to protect the ones they really love by not giving out information. quiet frankly if a person that I was bonking checked on me I would think, boil the bunny time. your fucking, its not rocket science if your having a moist old time of it then just lift your legs up and enjoy what he is giving you. Liars thrive on the net, to think other wise is naïve. I lie all the time, its not true that my cunt is made of gold, I just started that rumour so more of the WA minors would come looking.
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RHP User
12 years ago
its amazing what a typo can do its MINERS....sheeeze I will get arrested for that last one.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Seems like you're building something , based on a foundation of Lies ... GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
It must be worrying you to put a post up, let alone your first post. This alone should be telling you not to. It must be an issue for you as you went searching to see if he had a partner. Aren't your actions telling you something or can you gloss over how you feel by reading what other people are saying. As a poster above has said, if your husband doesn't know you are doing this, can you trust this bloke?
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gazpacho
12 years ago
Lol. You are the man! Is there ever any honour amongst thieves? Hugs Gazpacho
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RHP User
12 years ago
You got nothing. The world's too small for liars and thieves.
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On_Safari
12 years ago
I too would want to know why the person lied? If you're both attached then you should both have equal understanding of the ramifications of what you both stand to lose. I would think this was better grounds for honesty and a platform for mutual respect. As for "snooping" I do this, I'm honest about myself and appreciate honesty in return, people here know I've been burnt badly by a predator and now my "snooping" is nerely because I'd rather be safe than sorry. Sex is all well and good, sex with someone who shares your honesty can be soooooo much better. I guess my final words tickle would be, if you like the way he makes you feel and this is your first foray "go for it" if the chemistry is real and he travels to you regularly you may end up getting the honesty and respect he is hesitant to give now or he may disappear into the ether because he's a "player". I'm nosy so I'd bluntly ask the questions you want answers to, if he won't answer then he's not for me; simple. I mean you are both in the same boat and "lying" to your partners, why not be honest with each other? And yes you may quote me. I've said those exact words to a Lover myself. ~ Indy, nice to make your acquaintance
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RHP User
12 years ago
I agree with Gazpacho actually. I don't the snooping thing. If you are looking for NSA and you had no interest in whether he was attached or not........... why did you go looking? He is obviously looking for an anonymous NSA encounter which will not lead to anything more, I assume, so he may not want divulge his personal life to you. I can get that. He probably wants to say is that it is none of your business. I have a girlfriend who always used to snoop on people, she was very resourceful and managed to find all sorts of information on the men she was talking to online. I find it really distasteful and I would not see someone who did that. Maybe I am just naive but I prefer a person to tell me their story in their own time.
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Lies will lock you up with truth the only key. And I only snoop if that person doesn't ring true what's your gut telling you? Listen to it....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' You got nothing. The world's too small for liars and thieves. Yes... but she is also cheating on her husband... so? People do what they have to do to protect their life and their family. I would always hope people felt they could be honest with me...... but I give them the courtesy of my honesty first.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Can I just say I am a very private person and it takes me quite awhile to feel comfortable with someone.... I would be furious if I found out someone I had started to see was trying to find out things about me behind my back. That is stalker behaviour isn't it? Checking their facebook page, doing drive bys of their house, etc. If you don't feel someone is on the level don't see them any more, don't snoop down to their level. But that is just me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The only way in life any part of it is a no bull shit approach :) honesty goes a long way in normal relationship as it does in NSA
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'gazpacho51' One ought never ask a question of a lover that you don't really want to know the answer to. It makes no difference to you whether or not he is single, so why'd you have to go snooping? You're your own worse enemy. What if your subversive reconnaissance is inaccurate? What if he has a perfectly legitimate and quite personal reason for not telling you about her... Oh, for instance, to prevent you from asking four zillion questions about something which is none of your business? Seriously. You're onto a good thing. Why'd you have to go and fuck it all up? Your bottom needs a spanking! Hugs Gazpacho See your from area 51 too, about time. The young lady hasn't quite fucked it up yet. She can make of what she has and throw it into the conversation, to some here say that has floated through some of the circles some mumbo jumbo silly things said or thought even, that could very well entitle the fellow sheepishly square up and insist she smacks his bottom. Sorry Gazzapaka, the other bloke is probably going to get this lady too. Got to admire the reflex to opportunity seems untameable, like a machine. So it's no secret that Tara is fond of sitting on the machine during spin cycle which is during it being the reason we are in that situation in her on the machine and smacking her bottom , but for no particular reason than enjoyable. Just thought you may feel some comfort even comradely satisfactions to see how enjoyable a time you are having, noticed. And! now you have us talking about orgasmic throws of the passionate woman gyrating through the rhythmic pulses of a machine driving torque horsepower and the clitoris being harmonic centre of all vibration wave energy. Back on topic, deep and romantic feelings begin to get into what rooting is all about when fucking comes into it. Ditch the stress and worries, for a NSA by making the strings it comes with all about the confirmation and location of the destination being the place to sort everything out whilst spin cycle is underway. NSA no strings, no questions that require answers to be mandatory for a prescribed answer. Talk about silly sexy stuff and vibrate to the rhythm of the night, Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender Turn your face away from the garish light of day Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light And listen to the music of the nightClose your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar And you'll live as you've never lived before Phantom of the washing machine. Mado, Tara xx
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On_Safari
12 years ago
I will ask every inappropriate question IF I'm interested enough to want to know. I will encourage you to be honest with me by being bluntly honest in return. I do not facebook stalk I just google. Mind you I have to be very interested and not believe you before I go this far. Generally I take people at face value, if I know nothing is going to progress between us you will be told in no uncertain terms. I will not snoop until I think you've lied to me, I loathe liars but I will also ask you directly for the truth first to try and understand where you are at and hopefully via open discussion the shit can be sorted. Mind you.....most of this filtering takes place through discussions well before we met. You will know if I look into you because I will tell you and I will say thank you for your time and goodbye.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'gazpacho51'One ought never ask a question of a lover that you don't really want to know the answer to. . If I ask, I want to know the answer or I wouldn't ask. I would say don't ask the question unless you are prepared to hear an answer you may not like.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E'I will ask every inappropriate question IF I'm interested enough to want to know. I will encourage you to be honest with me by being bluntly honest in return. . Sounds just like me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am probably weird then.... I was seeing this guy once and he thought my name was Meeka for the first three months.... I didn't even tell him my real name. LOL He was less than impressed when I piped up one day with... by the way my name is actually X. I don't like nosey people, I don't like talking about myself.... In fact talking about myself bores me to tears. I know I must seem a bit weird, but I am happy to talk about sex, about things I have got up too, talk about anal sex on the first date... lol. But ask me where I live or what I do for a living........ I almost freeze up. I don't want to talk about that, I don't want to tell you that until we know each other a little better. So, I am not saying anything about what other people do.... but for me that gross invasion of my privacy would be a deal break for me I think. I would never trust them again. I also never ask people these questions either. It blows my mind how some people tell you their whole life story. I have dates where I know the persons life story... things that happened to them as a child, about their last relationship, etc. Yet they wouldn't know the first thing about me and that is how I like it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My name is the only thing I ever lie about.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'LadyTuscan' its amazing what a typo can do its MINERS....sheeeze I will get arrested for that last one. Well the good news is you'll get to meet a nice policeman...or policewoman if your luck is out.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I didn't say I lied, in fact I see not point in lying as I have nothing to hide. I just don't talk about myself...and to be honest Meeka is very similar to my knickname that if you called me that in front of my family they wouldn't think anything of it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Meeka is very similar to my knickname that if you called me that in front of my family they wouldn't think anything of it. Same.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I normally keep my mouth closed on such issues, but read into it what you will.
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RHP User
12 years ago
First off she's married? It's all blank there on the profile so is that a telling sign? They who want to know, hide more? *shrugs* Now if the two of you met at a bar, how many lie about their status? You both could have your rings off, flirt as singles, grab a hotel and fuck. After it you'll agree to see each other or thank each other for a great night and that's that (if you don't leave right after the fucking). There would be no snooping around afterwards would there? Plus I know many people who never use their real first name when out both males and females. Who's to say he isn't one of them. People will lie - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
12 years ago
I can't stand liars. But I also think it depends on the situation. If I was having a random fly in fly out never see you again fuck, I wouldn't be focussing on your honesty or spending alot of time asking you questions to be perfectly honest I would be fixate on my pleasure and yours. But if it was a regular fb, I think really if you can't be honest with a fb who can you be honest with? But again I'm not going to be asking you a lot of questions. One I will always ask though is are you single, cause if you are attached in anyway I'm not interested in screwing you. If I find you lied about this I will be pissed but will just end it and say NEXT. Now if it was fwb honesty is very important. How would I ever trust you to experiment and be completely open with you if you are not honest with me. And I have to say being a Scorpio you only get one chance with me, lie to me once and we are done. But take the time to build the trust and you get to reap the reward of one of the most passionate, sensual, sexual beings there is that is very keen to experiment and to bring your fantasies to life. (Was that too much self advertising lol) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
The reason I dug deeper on this is because I was straight up in the beginning. I want unattached and no kids involved. I am comfortable with my situation but don't want to risk someone else's relationship or family being broken. It was discussed also that I don't want to go bed hopping and only want one every now and then meet with the same person. He is free to do as he wishes anytime, with anyone and cut ties with no argument from me when ever he chooses. He slipped up in conversation and then when asked directly covered up the slip. That is why I went in search of the truth. My profile has nothing on it now because I thought I'd found what I was looking for so removed all my info to stop messages coming in. Tried to delete profile but couldn't. I guess some of you are right and have answered my question. How can I open up and relax enough to enjoy the sex when I know he is lying to me. I am lying to my husband, yes, but in my secret other life, I want to be honest and want that in return. That may be hypercritical of me but it is what is is. Thanks to all your opinions. An interesting read indeed!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
12 years ago
"How can I open up and relax enough to enjoy the sex when I know he is lying to me. I am lying to my husband, yes, but in my secret other life, I want to be honest and want that in return. That may be hypocritical of me but it is what is is." YUP it is what it is.
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gazpacho
12 years ago
If any guy had started this topic all the die hards would be slapping his face for being a dirty, rotten, cheating liar and male chauvinist pig... there'd be banners running down the side of the forum page and people heard chanting.. "kill the pig.. kill the pig.. kill the pig".... A dude really faces an up hill battle posting in this matriarchal little clique called "HOT TOPICS". none the less, I'm not judgmental. I know people have urges outside of marriage and that even NSA sex requires some kind of connection to be half decent at all. It's easier though to be less intellectual about it. Can't you just cut loose on the dude? I mean, what if he speaks a totally different language to you (e.g... he speaks MALE) and you do not understand a word of it. Just go with that idea and enjoy the NSA sex, the intimacy, the cuddling, the smoochiness, the dirty sweaty smeariness of it.. and as t happens in this instance, the thrill of not being caught by your husband... or the prospect of being caught in some instances... this little blemish in his character from your perspective is being made into something it is not. The guy is equally dishonest as you are. think of it that way and ride like the wind! HugsGazpacho
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Sounds to me too many "strings" in this scenario.. Time to cut some off. Have consequences haven't been thought through thoroughly?? I do believe when one lies and deceit others to get what they want, eventually guilt will creep in. Just another "string" to have a think about. Good Luck making the right healthy choice for you. FOXY xx
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
ment to say.. "Have consequences been thought through thoroughly??" Foxy
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Missed you girlfriend. Very balid points about the "guilt" thing. And Gaz, appreciate your view too, I'm gonna ride him like the wind 😍 lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
How would the cheaters feel if they found out their betrothed were fucking someone behind their back? Would they hide behind "I wouldn't care", or would they be devestated? Perhaps the OP can respond? It's not a judgemental question ( I'm sure the flamers will flame it as such), it's a genuine curiosity.
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gazpacho
12 years ago
Quoting 'ApolloThirteen' How would the cheaters feel if they found out their betrothed were fucking someone behind their back? Would they hide behind "I wouldn't care", or would they be devestated? Perhaps the OP can respond? It's not a judgemental question ( I'm sure the flamers will flame it as such), it's a genuine curiosity. This is an old chestnut that people often raise. Fact is, people cheat on their spouses for an abundance of self serving reasons. Some do it because they have a secret hope that they get caught, for instance, so yes, they really do not care, in fact they're counting on it. Similarly, people are quick to judge other's relationships based on their own relationships. We cannot know, but maybe their partner also cheats. Why would you need to know? Not everyone is a jealousy freak. This community gives clear evidence of that phenomenon. also, there are guys out there who love being held cuckold by their lovers... they love the self humiliation of it all. They do not want to know for certain, but love to smell another man on their wife. It turns them on that she can be such a slut... lol. Cheating doesn't always lead to devastation. People live complicated lives, and marriage can survive anything you want to chuck at it if both partners really want to stay together. Personally I think society places too much demand on relationships. Nobody was really meant to be monogamous... so couples deal with it however they can. Some draw a line in the sand on monogamy. Some don't. As for your statement that they are hiding behind "I wouldn't care".. that's more a reflection of your attitude if you were in a relationship where your partner slips up. My thoughts are that just because you are married doesn't make you the owner of your spouse's affections... liberty applies. Two people in love, co-habitating, married, with children, building wealth, friends, and family together..... in time some directions they seek as individuals will divert one from the other. A lasting relationship is one involving tolerance and forgiveness and understanding. It would be a great pity to let a little wanton passion for some one night stand fuck it all up. don't you agree? HugsGazpacho
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RHP User
12 years ago
I would be devastated. Yes. However, I do everything that my other half wants and needs in the bedroom, unfortunately that is not reciprocated. The discussion of my wants and needs has been repeated many times only to fall on deaf ears. It is because of this that i now search to find those wants and needs satisfied elsewhere. As I'm sure other attached people do for similar reasons. Again thanks to all your open opinions :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Sooooo dam spot on! I was about to post something similar. I reckon you said it all!! Very well said. FOXY
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' Sooooo dam spot on! I was about to post something similar. I reckon you said it all!! Very well said. FOXY ( Miss Superfoxy) Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
So I won't go into it all other than to say a couple of things. Cheaters will always find a way, a reason to justify their cheating, They are masters of trying to intellectualise why their need requires meeting in lieu of honesty. If you take a marriage vow to "forsake all others" then it's not negotiable. Passionless marriages / partnerships are not worth being in (IMO). I applaud anyone chasing passion - just not the way some go about it. I'll always remember the ad for Sean Johns fragrance "Unforgivable". "A life without passion is unforgivable". So very true.
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Plain280
12 years ago
All things aside, the original need for wanting to hook up is to get a bit of pleasure and passion in your life, by the by neither of these have scruples attached, as they are intense feelings. Then you thought about it and forgot why you sought out this person. Whoops.WHY WHY WHY???Obviously the chemistry is there for a bit of passion and pleasure if thats what you wanted, and thats where the Chinese wall should stop you from crossing that line.Chinese wall is a barrier of thought of principles not to be crossed into in order to gain advantage or in this case snoop to stop a possible rendevous.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Personally I think it is, yeah. Then again I'm new to this whole thing and maybe I'm being really naive. But if I was going to get into something casually with someone I'd like to know that what they have told me about themselves is true. I'd say go with whatever you're feeling - if you don't feel good about it, don't do it. If it doesn't bother you, then go for it. It's good to get other people's thoughts on the matter, but ultimately you personally will know what does or doesn't feel okay.
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