Sexual attraction and your age
November 27 2020
As I'm nearly 40, over the years I've found I've had to gradually increase the listing on my desired partner age, more so in respect to online dating (ie hopefully leading to offline dating).
For example, im my mid 20s my partner listing was probably 18 to 30, in my mid 30s it seemed fair to push the lower age up to say 25+, to maybe around 40 or so. At that time, I wouldn't have really considered a sexual attraction to someone aged say 50+.
However, in no time I'll be in my early 40s, and then mid 40s, and wondering if just because my own age has increased (and perhaps only that too much time has passed while seeking a partner), I will start automatically finding someone aged 50-55 sexually attractive. Obviously they ARE, as many of our local swinger couples at events are that age.
But my question is more about what causes you to become sexually attracted to different age groups. Just getting older yourself? Typically (and yes exceptions apply), someone 30 would not date or find sexual attraction with say, a 60 year old. But what happens when that 30 year old becomes close to 60 themselves. Do they start being interested then because the previous desired age group is more frowned upon, or because they now relate better to someone their own age (which might now be 60).
For people that have spent an extended time searching for a partner, do you worry that it is just the passage of time passing that kind of forces you to have to look for partner types and age ranges that you wouldn't have otherwise considered? Do you worry about whether your sexual energy and libido fades out with age while the time might have passed for searching for your original ideal partner? Or do you take solace in the fact that there are still lots of highly sexed older couples and it is never too late to find someone for your interests?
Comments
FloozieandHim
3 years ago
We have found that we have less and less in common with younger swingers. Especially guys under 30-35.
Girls are slightly different, but we definitely prefer players closer to our age group and slightly above.
RHP User
3 years ago
Maturity and experience are very sexy to me. I've always found older partners more attractive because they have life experience, know themselves, and can hold great conversations. I think it's personality that's important, not the age. And there are certainly highly sexed older couples on here 👌
Tall74nHard9
3 years ago
When you are younger, generally you go for the looks (that go with younger ages). Your own level of maturity still has not reached that of more "aged" people. so you generally don't appreciate the other qualities that can be on offer. As you go through life, you start to understand and appreciate there is more to life than just a magic set of numbers (age related), as Jessica has alluded to. The question is then, though, are you wise enough at those points in time to appreciate what the older generation has to offer, or are you going to continue to be willfully blind ? That is a decision that each has to make on their own. Will you explore what is available, or remain in the land of denial ?
Tall
MsSuperFoxy
3 years ago
Hummm I need to think about this a little more, as it is my birthday next week. See how I feel after that. I'll get back to you OP. 😊
Ms FoxyRHP User
3 years ago
As a person who dates across all age groups from 30-60 I find myself attracted to people’s inner qualities, kindness, sense of humour and empathy. I have found in general that men over 40 are better lovers as they know themselves better. In my twenties and thirties I was not attracted to anyone that fell out of my age group.
Sawadee
3 years ago
As always ' l look at the person first and if im attracted so be it.. That age range has been anywhere between 25 to 60 ' over the years ' so there have always been some younger ladies who dont really mind getting with a older man.. .. l really dont have a preference with age as long as she can hold a decent conversation and the chemistry feels right..
2EssesExploring
3 years ago
It’s an age old problem this ageing 😂
I find many qualities influence my level of attraction to someone and there are also many outside influences that shape my attraction. A big one is the partner I’m with. In my 20’s I was with an Amazonianly tall woman and wouldn’t look sideways at anyone under 5’10”, now I’m with someone that doesn’t reach 5 foot and I find myself looking around the Amazonian to get a glimpse of that little shorty.
Seriously though, I do feel I am more attracted to the whole vibe I have with another person more than physical attributes.
As far as age, I find I have more self imposed limits now, I just feel the younger crowd wouldn’t be interested in an old fart like me. That said, to date our best play times have been with younger couples who seek the older experience.
So judging anyone too soon can mean we miss out on a unique experience. I love being surprised by enjoying something or someone I initially have negative judgements about.RHP User
3 years ago
Never discount a person based on age, I mean some of these the younger ones here probably think a G spot is a club on the Gold Coast, wheres most of us older ones dont even need directions to get there 😜
RHP User
3 years ago
As a 62 yo, I've always found myself attracted to women of similar age range. As I've aged I've seen the beauty in older women.
A few years ago I met a lady 7 years older and had a 2 year affair. She was absolutely gorgeous to me, sexy and intelligent.
So my answer is that my preferences have kept time with my age, and if you look beyond skin deep an intellectual connection enhances the physical attraction greatly.
lewisandtoya
3 years ago
Personally (toya) I think it's less about how someone looks, fit, in shape etc and more about how their mind works. I've found myself more attracted to people my age and older because( from my experience) their minds are filthier, they want to do anything and everything to my body and Iobe that! I think, the older you get , the more authentic you become, the less hung up on what is " socially accepted" you just be you. Cit out the bullshit and just enjoy!!!
PhoeniXandB
3 years ago
My first bf was 10 yrs my senior.. my next was almost 20 yrs my senior. Then..
4yrs + (older)
Same age
8yrs + (hubby 1)
12yrs - (younger, hubby 2)
6yrs - (current partner)
I have exactly zero plans to go back to having relationships with older or even similarly aged men. Also have no plans to end the one I have, im the happiest and most satisfied and in love ive ever been, but if/when i am looking again it wont be for someone who cant keep up. For men, between 0-8 years younger than me is optimal imo. For women, anywhere between 20yrs younger & 10 years older than me is alright, at this point.RHP User
3 years ago
It would seem, women in there 50s 60 are just out of long term relationships and tend to be attracted to younger men.
In saying that outside RHP.
All my partners have been older andcthats a personal choice with less stress in their lives and more time free to enjoy all fruits of life.
Boards
Forum help
Something related with that
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
report