M58 F61
Sexless love or loveless sex..
December 04 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Decided a while back I wasn't going to 'settle' for anything less than happiness, and that involves both sex and love
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have to agree with DGT here. Actually I'll love to do DGT too :-) Errm where were we? Where did that thought come from? Anyway back to the topic, if I had to choose I would pick loveless sex, only because I have the former at the moment. A person has needed and well I think intimacy is one of them.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think its hard when there is love but the sex is not good. You want to be with that person and you love them but in bed its not happening. I think that’s what commitment is about I guess. I also understand that longing for desire that eats away at you. I mean a man walks past and you in the supermarket and you just want to say, excuse me but do you mind if I suck you off in isle three. The measure of a man is not so much about the sex its about his other great qualities, sex is transient and we can live without it, all be it chewing the end of the bedpost in frustration. I have just been talking to a friend who has been with her husband for four nearly five years with no sex and no explanation why no sex. Every time she asks he gets hostile so in the end she has just had to compromise and live life without sex. She cant start her life all over again, its not that easy for women on their own past 50. Plenty of men want to screw you to the floor but not to many to want to go for the hard yards of a relationship and to also support a woman financially. Most older men have a family and commitments already so to hook up with an older women when there are plenty of younger models is not an option these days. She said she just needs to be in a safe place knowing she will not be on the streets. Its easier to order sex on line that get a pizza. Sex without any emotional attachments is the new MC muff burger Its quick and easy and cheap Loveless sex makes RHP function so well. Sexless love is what keeps oldies together when the dick does not rise to the occasion or a woman is dryer than the sahara desert, then that’s when you see true love.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Lovesexy. Believe it or not you can have both. Commit to the ideal partner and not the one who is not. The choice is yours. Always has been, always will be.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred' I think its hard when there is love but the sex is not good. You want to be with that person and you love them but in bed its not happening. I think that’s what commitment is about I guess. I also understand that longing for desire that eats away at you. I mean a man walks past and you in the supermarket and you just want to say, excuse me but do you mind if I suck you off in isle three. The measure of a man is not so much about the sex its about his other great qualities, sex is transient and we can live without it, all be it chewing the end of the bedpost in frustration. I have just been talking to a friend who has been with her husband for four nearly five years with no sex and no explanation why no sex. Every time she asks he gets hostile so in the end she has just had to compromise and live life without sex. She cant start her life all over again, its not that easy for women on their own past 50. Plenty of men want to screw you to the floor but not to many to want to go for the hard yards of a relationship and to also support a woman financially. Most older men have a family and commitments already so to hook up with an older women when there are plenty of younger models is not an option these days. She said she just needs to be in a safe place knowing she will not be on the streets. Its easier to order sex on line that get a pizza. Sex without any emotional attachments is the new MC muff burger Its quick and easy and cheap Loveless sex makes RHP function so well. Sexless love is what keeps oldies together when the dick does not rise to the occasion or a woman is dryer than the sahara desert, then that’s when you see true love. tuscanred: insightful, raw, punchy, heartbreakingly real - well done, just beautiful xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Many years ago, I was in a marriage that was very much "sexless" love (long story as to why it was but it involved the death of a child and unresolved grief) I left that marriage, as I was in my 30's, my partner was 20 years older than me and being younger, I yearned for great passion, lust, fantastic sex, adventure, - yada yada yada, which was so not happening between us due to our unique circumstance and age difference................oh if only I knew then...... Im 47 now..and damn sorry I left...now I would well and truly settle for sexless love...not that I would consider it "settling" ...as you age, your desires and needs alter....it would be wonderful to have both, but many factors enter into this, the main one being a partners health and health problems for both sexes tend to start raising their nasty heads around the late 40's mark.......give me a partner, who stimulates me mentally, is kind, makes me laugh and my god if he can still go for it in the sack, then thats a absolute bonus... Hindsight a wonderful thing...but to each their own..I would never advise anyone to settle in a given situation nor give up being true to themselves.......Im just wating for George Clooney to come to his senses and give me a call...waiting...drumming fingers...........waiting..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T' Decided a while back I wasn't going to 'settle' for anything less than happiness, and that involves both sex and love Couldn't agree more.
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RHP User
14 years ago
If this is with a partner, permanent ralationship, I am with DGT. Not settling for anythng less than "the one" Love, sex and the whole enchillada. Until then, I already have sex without love from my "friends" and complete love without sex from my kids and other family members.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Too much analysing and rationalising ruins both. People need to learn to relax, unwind and fuck their brains out, enjoying each other's bodies and exploring new things and acting out their fantacies and fetishes....great kindling for a dying fire.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sexless relationships (when couples are capable of having sex together) strike me as problematic unless they both have the desire not to have sex together. I can't imagine why two people who love each other wouldn't share themselves inimately together if they are capable of doing so.When couples can't communicate about their lack of sex together, there's probably a lot of other things they are not communicating about. Communication is paramount about all things in a relationship. It always worries me to see a friend in that situation - though only they can fix it, and it can be daunting for some people to try.I love the world and all of my experiences in the world and I love all the family and friends in my life so I guess looking at it that way, love is the most important and cherished thing, and I'm a happy man that has sex in my life as well.It's a redundant question, an academic exercise. I'm sure glad I don't have to choose :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's not for us to know at the time... xx SnS
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RHP User
14 years ago
The sex is so much better when you're in love so is sexless love even possible?I mean, there is love for a brother, a child or a partner whom you're stuck with because of a child but have fights with all the time. I'll assume you refer to passionate romantic love.Nobody really wants to answer because we all want both, but our answers are...Nathan: Loveless sexCassie: Sexless love
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RHP User
14 years ago
having lived through both, neither choice is a happy one......i'd choose a solitary life over either of these, and make my own happiness............
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RHP User
14 years ago
If you loved someone, and they got ill and could not have sex , would you love them and stay with them even though you wanted sex badly? Or if you married someone and on the wedding night the sex was crap and it stayed crap and it was just the chemistry was not there. You can be the best lover in the world but if the chemistry is not there no amount of swinging of the shower curtain and whistling Dixie is going to help. It happens a lot in marriage, the passion dies the coals are no longer even warm enough to stoke the fire. You do not leave, because that person has been the best they can be. As with my friend she does not want to throw out the rest of the man just because his dick is not coming to the party and neither is the rest of him Some men just cant feel intimate if they cant get it up, just the way it is So my thing is do not throw out the baby with the bathwater. That is why some people have affairs.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' having lived through both, neither choice is a happy one......i'd choose a solitary life over either of these, and make my own happiness............ I (mrs) would definitely choose to be on my own if I didn't have sex and love combined... its different for men tho I think, they can have loveless sex much easier than a woman can. Our brains work different, and it is also difficult to generalise...I agree that a sexless/loveless marriage/relationship is one of the greatest causes of infidelity !! I know, been there done that !! Karma is a good teacher. When you realise that sex and love are interconnected - if you can talk openly about sex, what you want from a sexual experience and to share that with your partner, that is something quite unique.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'newstart64' Quoting 'mikeandshel' having lived through both, neither choice is a happy one......i'd choose a solitary life over either of these, and make my own happiness............ I (mrs) would definitely choose to be on my own if I didn't have sex and love combined... its different for men tho I think, they can have loveless sex much easier than a woman can. Our brains work different, and it is also difficult to generalise...I agree that a sexless/loveless marriage/relationship is one of the greatest causes of infidelity !!I know, been there done that !! Karma is a good teacher. When you realise that sex and love are interconnected - if you can talk openly about sex, what you want from a sexual experience and to share that with your partner, that is something quite unique. well yea it is different for 'some' men, but not all. i'd choose happiness every time....... Mike.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was in a relationship which was going no where fast. My partner wasnt interested in sex or anything else. He was suffering from depression and was bringing me down with him. It took me a while to realise what was happening. I called it quits and have been having the best time of my life. I have met so many wonderful people from here and other places. Getting out socialising and making new friends, boy life is great. I have fallen in love, been in lust and had some fabulous sex and have also made love. Something I didnt think I would ever do again. I am fortunate that I have always been independant and financially secure, that certainly helps being single at my age easier. I do understand where Tuscan Red is coming from, women need to become more independant and not rely on men to care for them.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Women are undying romantics. We love the idea of Being In Love and to be loved by another being is a wonderful feeling. Makes your heart and mind singgg... I am most fortunate in finding a man that loves me and is amazing in bed : ) I've been married 3 times and sex was pretty dismal with the 1st hubby. A little better with the 2nd one but no love, 3rd performed well and there was love...of sorts. Now, since joining RHP, I have found both Love and a variety of lovers. If. God forbid, that my partner can't perform, I'd still love him as we have so many other interests to keep us together. Sex is just a small albeit sensorial pumping stuff, a slice of a whole cake. Can't beat the love of a good man. Loveless sex after a while is so empty. It fills maybe an hour or 2 out of your day. The rest of your day is spent with your life partner, your work, going to theatres, dinners, the Arts, travel. At my age, I have become a little selfish. I want everything!! And I can say, now, I do have everything I need in life to make me happy. Sue
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think that as we grow older and hopefully wiser, we understand what love is and what makes us happy. If a couple can jump the hurdles of a relationship and grow old together, with great sex shared along the way then to me that would be the perfect scenario. I would choose being single over being unloved and/or bad sex in a r/ship. I agree with you Mike....... there are some men who break the mold.cheers,Claire
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RHP User
14 years ago
well I can not have one with out the other, Impossable to say what could be. If the body/looks was hot and perfect sex with no love I could live with that, if we were in love and the sex was bad I could live with that. Dont think it could work anyother way. But I havent been thier. Ive got both, hot sex good looking bird, I still go for secounds most nights after 25 years :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
one can actually live without both
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RHP User
14 years ago
just answer the question.. you only have 2 choices.. none of this other faffing about and postulating please.. we all know what we'd ALL LIKE.. but that was not the question was it?no..so choose..i think i'd like sexless love. (and a firm right wrist)LRE
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am going for loveless sex. Yes folks, love I can get from the kids, the cat, the dog, siblings, friends and other family members. BUT That dont help me sleep at night....and after a while, doing it for yourself is only a temporary fix and the need...no the absolute craving to feel that hot hard body pulsating deep inside you becomes just a little too much to handle and will start to take over your every waking thought.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Neither ... I'm sure the first is possible, the latter however appears impossible for me. xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
As long as I have Jennylee, I have an abundance of both.
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RHP User
14 years ago
We all do have needs and after a long time of sexless love I am on Rhp looking for loveless sex.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Commitment - Yep that is the hard bit. Fuck. Hurts all over again. Of course, next time I see a spunk in aisle 3 I'm going to get the shivers. What is she thinking? Probably about meat, maybe sausages. Maybe I can get an 'As seen on RHP!' sticker to compete with those 'As seen on MKR!' ones and stick it on my pants. Quoting 'tuscanred' I think its hard when there is love but the sex is not good. You want to be with that person and you love them but in bed its not happening. I think that’s what commitment is about I guess. I also understand that longing for desire that eats away at you. I mean a man walks past and you in the supermarket and you just want to say, excuse me but do you mind if I suck you off in isle three.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Coming up to ten years of the first. Five years of separate beds. Not even a kiss on the lips. Do you blow away thirty years of shared things, even 60% of them involving infrequent contact? All of our family, all of the children of our siblings know us as aunt and uncle. We have a lot of shared things, I do care for my wife and do not want to see her hurt. I've tried all the suggestions - I already cook, clean all the clothes, change the beds, as well as the bloke stuff like gardening, leave her in peace with her quiet hobbies as she seems to like. Tried the romantic stuff, dinners, cuddling, late Sundays when we're relaxed, lost weight, improved grooking etc. There is no magic I can see. She cares for me, I care for her. She is kind to the family, looks after all the social things like making cakes, knitting, food for the olds, remembering birthdays and anniversaries and everyone loves her and thinks highly of her. I do, too. When I drop of the perch she is my super and belongings beneficiary. I've asked for counselling - she is not interested and went so far as to say there is nothing wrong with her and she is happy.At the same time, she was shattered to discover me having an affair. So I don't have any sort of leave pass and my activity is furtive and conflicts. It seems love and lust just don't always go together. I am a highly sexually-driven person and just can't ignore it, even if she can/does. For five years I fumed inwardly, then gave in. Not a sob story, not an excuse, not suggesting it for anyone else. Just the way it is for us. Make your bed, lie in it. If you are fortunate to have someone to love and who likes having great, giving sex longterm: count your lucky stars and make sure they know how special they are. It's rare in my experience and amongst all my acquaintance.
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