M42
Sex vs. Self-Worth
January 31 2024
Comments
MrandMrsEss
3 months ago
Definitely! As a couple we are here with a combined and discussed idea of what we are looking for but as individuals there is variance in these desires. What draws us here is positive and the discussions we have with each other enrich our connection. But the reality of the interactions with others here doesn’t often match our intentions and does bring some negativity. It’s challenging for sure but isn’t it true that to achieve greatness takes great risk and effort?
RHP User
3 months ago
I think your self worth has to be high to be okay in here otherwise it can be brought down fairly quickly. I wrote on another post that your mental side as well needs to be healthy or things can go bad. Especially as a male as we struggle for replies to messages and being one of so very many
MajekMonkey
3 months ago
Well most guys are only going to harm their self worth by using dating apps. It's a constant reminder that you have no value as a sexual being.
PerthVixen
3 months ago
Do you mean “here” as in
* RHP? 🤔
OR
* alternative sex life? 🤔
OR
* the Forums? 🤔
If you mean RHP
. . . the connection between our self worth and RHP is pretty fraught for most people. Lack of ‘success’ is easy to attribute to a person’s own “attractiveness” and therefore ‘value’ or ‘worth’. I’d say most people have a love:hate relationship with RHP, directly as a result of how it challenges their self worth.
Stereotypically ‘good looking’ Narcissists have a huge success rate on RHP. They have honed their grooming techniques and attribute an unimaginable high worth on their value because of that success.
Generally, people who are seen as stereotypically ‘good looking’, also have a high success rate on RHP. And depending on how much they attribute their own worth to that success, depends on who they are as a person.
People with ‘baggage’ that manifests as sexism, homophobia and ageism (etc) will be extremely challenged by places like RHP, because it’s cutthroat and they have very little leverage. They will blame everyone else for their lack of success, and will illogically elevate their own self worth.
People with low self esteem will struggle badly, as there is an obvious disparity between ‘success’ and genuinely ‘valuable’ people, online. Our society rewards ‘beautiful’, at the expense of substance.
People with stereotypically ‘unattractive’ societal traits (body/age/height/race) will also have a battle between their self worth and RHP. RHP can be brutal when it comes to ‘physicality’ and how ‘successful’ you are.
And everyone else? The self worth of anyone is dependent on how much REAL introspection and healing they’ve done, in respect to the life they have experienced. There isn’t a single person on RHP, who doesn’t have SOME baggage. But in healing and learning about our mindset, and then opening our minds to a sexual life that is very non-vanilla, we have already attributed the self worth . . . that we deserve some level of happiness. And coming onto RHP is our search for the grail . . . sexual adventures that allow us that happiness. .
Ultimately, unless a person already believes in their genuine ‘worth’ before they come on the Pie, most people will find their ‘worth’ diminish.
😢
Kokoflamingo
3 months ago
You need to be fairly confident in yourself because you can get a few knock backs on here which can be demoralisiing and cut down your self esteem. Im older, not a size 8 are looks wise, average, so I dont have big expectations. I prefer to meet people through meet and greet events. Guys, you are not the only ones to encounter hurtful messages. Ive had messages from men who are very angry or depressed about their experience on here. It is what you make it,
Libertine001
3 months ago
In my opinion, self worth is up to the individual which is built by confidence and life experiences.
I dont think it has anything to do with a dating app although the dating apps can deteriorate one's self confidence if you think a dating app is the only place to meet someone.
There is many in relationships that due to comfort zone and fear of changing the status quo, live a life that is devoid of any confidence due to the partner they are with, especially when it has been withered away over time.
Then that relationship ends for one reason or another and they end up on a dating site which I'm sure everyone here agrees it is a massive learning curve regardless of gender.
I consider myself to be very lucky to have found a needle in a haystack on this site which as many have stated happens when you least expect it.
Confidence is a difficult one as it only comes from doing something that exceeds your own expectations or acceptance from others you didn't see coming. Very difficult to have any self worth when facing constant rejection.
Good post OP.
Libertine
JustStephTuls
3 months ago
No.
If it affects my self worth I don’t do it.
I’m here. It’s good. If that changes, I won’t be. 🙂💖
fun2behere
3 months ago
I get my self-worth from being really, really, ridiculously good looking. Is there any more to life than that?
nightingale8
3 months ago
When my ego takes a bashing I’m more likely to be found sinking into the couch with my bowl of popcorn!
I don’t see any problem building self worth based partly on one’s sexual prowess and energy. At my sexual peak I think that was me. Sex is only destructive if that’s all there is, which I think can happen easily post break up when your pillars of normalcy are gone.
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