M37
Selfish or not????
December 09 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
HEHE MY EX PUT ME ON A LIMIT OF 3 TIMES A WEEK..........BOOOO LETS JUST SAY WE DIDNT MAKE IT TO FOR YEARS THATS FOR SURE ;) ok enough from me xx buy ya mate some porn and a blow up doll for xmas......
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RHP User
16 years ago
But i would also add, that Libidos naturally wax and wane, and unfortunately mostly out of sync with your significant other. Cheers Nev
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RHP User
16 years ago
Maybe she's just not that into him anymore. Sometimes staying in a relationship is more out of habit than still having that spark there and "wanting" eachother. If the affection and attention stop in a relationship.........Perhaps it's run it's course. Not everything is set in stone.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Once every 5 days is not enough for an old fart like me, let alone a 20 something buck.....ffs...I would be doing something about it. Mars
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RHP User
16 years ago
Man he is lucky. I am lucky if I get some once a fortnight. Try going out with someone who works for the education dept. lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
Who can say? We are all individual and like Nev said... libidos can naturally wax and wane... and of course there are many other factors that can affect it including medication, mood, health, relationships etc etc Cheers n 'ugs... Mrs P'
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RHP User
16 years ago
You stud you!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Everyone is different. I was with a woman and went over 3 weeks before even getting sex then over the following 6 months with her we only had it about 7 times. So much for the start of a relationship being the best. Needless to say I ended that relationship. Funny thing was she knew my idea of a reasonable amount was at least 4 times a week, and when we did it she always said she reckoned we should do it more often but then would knock it back constantly. Basically she was a bit messed up in the head I think. Straight after her I met a woman and we went more than 7 times over the first 4 days she was with me. I was with a woman for 5 years and the last 12 months we only had sex 13 times. That was enough to end that relationship. Would have ended sooner however there was a child involved. Just to clarify it wasn't just the lack of sex that caused the breakup but that was a big part of it.So maybe it is just her. Once every 5 days is more than some people get but obviously he isn't happy so maybe needs to d osomething about it.
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RHP User
16 years ago
good advice already given, second the wax and waning - the rest of life can play in the levels of libido too.Also maybe the guy isn't growing and learning what things really make his girl feel sexy.If girl feels sex, girl wants more sex.A very easy equation to deal with.
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RHP User
16 years ago
he ain't any good in the sack :O
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mr Tri here.We keep talking about sex like it's a contractual obligation. But for many it's a very emotional thing and not entered into lightly.We all understand foreplay is a bit more than squeezing her knee and saying 'brace yaself' but what about before foreplay? Is the relationship going well? Are all needs being met? Do we wake with a smile on our face and love in our hearts?These are the foundations of a good relationship and as a result, rewarding sex life. It's frequently said that a person is not happy because of their sex life, but maybe it's the other way around. The sex life ain't great because someone ain't happy.Tell your mate to buy her some chocolates, not spend all weekend watching the cricket and pay some attention to her. I'm betting his sex life will improve drastically. That's all from me, gotta spend some time with the Mrs. :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Trust, respect and understanding are often painted as the cornerstones of a successful relationship. But there's a underlying issue with many relationships that's rarely articulated... and that's sex.I think it depends on the person. But if one partner has a disproportionately high labido in comparison to the other and its not seriously discussed between them, then it's safe to say there's going to be tough times ahead. Just look at Tiger! The 'word is' that he's been in a sexless marriage. If he does have such a high labido and his wife doesn't, then this is a pretty strong case in point.If two people have started with all the fire and passion and things after four years are a little pedestrian in the sex department, then maybe its time to talk about it. People often become so distracted with the grind of day-to-day living that they seem to neglect the importance of being intimate and sexual with their partner on a 'regular' basis. I would think that if the relationship has gone four years, there must be trust, respect and understanding... so use those cornerstones to talk about the issue and see if you can't 'reinvigorate' the sex life through reconnecting with them. I don't think it's selfish to be wanting or needing for that matter, sex on a daily basis. If you have a high labido... great... just work at helping your partner find that same feeling. What we don't know is whether 'this person' who's only getting sex once every 5 days is actually making their partner feel good about themselves, making them feel sexy and alive, to articulate those feelings in a sexual manner. I'm no expert, but woman like to feel sexual, they like to feel good before, 'feeling good', if you get my drift. If he's just on autopilot and neglecting his partner, I don't think it's unusual for them to 'turn off' sexually.Bottom line, take her out more, listen to her more, do what she wants a bit more, laugh with her more... make her feel better about herself... and maybe the 'love tap' will gradually turn on again.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Once a week is certainly no world record but it is down from the national average of 2. See, here's a theory... some women use sex to bag a hubbie. They'll come on strong and once he's hooked... it's a trickle feed system .. just enough to keep control. A form of empowerment.. engaging the power of the pussy... This might be difficult to understand for those women who do have a very strong libido, but for some women, they'll take or leave sex, when it's there on tap, day or night, available on a whimsical murmer in the bed next to them. It's taking you rman for granted. One day, a man who has lived this way, takes control and cures his own sexual frustrations, by whatever means and quickly learns that her holding back is easily circumvented outside the relationship. Using sex as a reward destroys relationships. Sex is every bit as much something given by him as it is given to him. Some women don't ever seem to get that. Anyway.... I once tried to test this theory when I was being a complete idiot.. what I did was, I decided to hold back until she was begging me for it. LMFAO can you imagine it... well, after 24 hours she didnt even notice! And I'm like WTF this woman has zero sex drive... so I banged her good the next morning.. phew .. that was such a relief... what a dumb idea. Hugs Gaz
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'XS'he ain't any good in the sack :O maybe she is a frigid bitch! ??? ~off to work on my wild generalisations~
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RHP User
16 years ago
My estranged husband would get the sh**ts if to go with sex out for two days, Yet there are times i couldnt handle being touched ( the day he went with out) but he knew my reason.early on in ourrelationship....so i made a pack with myself..that id whole heartedly give him a bj balls included yet i got pleasure from thatYet he wasnt content...wtf...he'd say im only doing it out of duty....sheeeesh..it did it to please him!!!!Cause to my way of thinking...it was better than nothing...he'd rather go with out all together.Now when the shoe was on the other foot...well!! i didnt get any sex ( he slept in our yougest girls bed)while she shared ours with me......Did i whinge or cheat. for 12 mths...NO.....Double stantards..??? xoxoxheymumma
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks everyone for your helpful advice my mate was still complaining the other day so i told him to come on RHP with me and there would be some advice for him. he sat at my computer for about 20mins read all your wonderful posts and said how helpful they had been!!! thanks for helping out everyone
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RHP User
16 years ago
There has been a lot of suggestion that maybe your mate needs to domore around the house etc etcMake her feel special etc etcWhat if he is already doing all that??What if he works a 12 hour day while she sits at homeWhat if he then cooks the meals, does his fair share of cleanig around the house, pays he attention, buys her flowers, and takes her to see crap girly flicks?What if he does all that has been suggested and still doesn't get any????Women are wired VERY differently to guys!Most guys are dicks on legs and a quick tit flash will get us going.Women are such complex creatures that even if you do all of the things stated here, you could still be hard up! Why??Because she doesn't feel good abot herself! Period. If that is where your mates girl is at the moment, then he is fucked. SimpleBitter? maybe! Prove me wrong
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RHP User
16 years ago
I thought that was exactly what they did Trish.Maybe there is a reason this happens, cause if you were to do all the things you just mentioned and i were your partner, then we would never be banned from-colesservice stationsrestaurantsclubspubsbloody hell may even be banned from homeso maybe this urning off the supply has its merits!naaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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