M37
Seeing your partner with someone else
July 08 2022
Because of this our limits include a rule that friends are no go. I have no issues with seeing her with another guy and would love to share her with my friends but because of the rule we don’t and I have to respect that.
My question is does this sound normal for one partner to be so adverse to seeing their partner with someone else? I note she has zero issues with me doing it in private and not around her.
Comments
RHP User
2 years ago
Why don't you ask your partner this question? The foundation of swinging (which it appears is what you want) is openness and communication.
Mrs_Deep_Love
2 years ago
Yes, I think it's normal. Everyone is different.
Tyler_9
2 years ago
I’m not interested in meeting anyone who hooks up with my husband. Although I also have no issue if it was someone we both know.
If I meet someone, I prefer to have him know who it is and everything I know about them.
Mostly for my safety.
If it’s a threesome or couple we meet, zero jealousy or worries.
FeistyFatty
2 years ago
Not unusual. I have zero interest in seeing hubby with other women. We have had a few MFFs in the past but I don't enjoy watching him. I have no issue with him playing solo though. I absolutely love our playtime together when it's with other invited males.... Bi MMF and moresomes and find watching him with other men to be my ultimate turn on. Preferences I guess, I wouldn't overthink it.
2EssesExploring
2 years ago
Preferences are like a box of chocolates :)
We are in an open relationship I guess as we are happy for each other to explore whatever it is we want to explore, whether together or apart.
My wife gets excited most by seeing me with someone else and has no interest in going solo. She did try a couple of times and it wasn’t for her. She’s quite happy for me to explore solo and likes to hear about it. I did have one lover that got a little too attached and she didn’t like that at all.
For me, I do like exploring solo as it’s a different vibe and I love exploring other peoples minds and bodies but I’d also say my favourite thing is to watch her really let go and enjoy herself with someone else.
We don’t play often so have gravitated towards same room couples fun to maximise everyone’s enjoyment. We started this to satiate her bi curiousness and of course the perfect unicorn who is into both of us as much as both of us are into her would be our ultimate but there aren’t enough hours in the day to spend unicorn hunting 😂.
Our desires have fluctuated over time and this adds some interest too.
For me/us playing completely separately just wouldn’t suit but if it works for you then that’s all that matters. I am intrigued to know both of your impetuses for only playing apart and also reasons she doesn’t want to see you with someone else. For me this seems like a little disconnected but that’s just my feeling and maybe it’s the disconnect that is the part she enjoys most?RHP User
2 years ago
I agree with above!
We are in an 'open relationship'... My husband's biggest turn on is seeing me with another man - in person or otherwise.
My biggest turn on is that he is pleasured in ways I cannot accommodate for him... & I adore seeing him contented & in the bliss of 'discovery'
I enjoy those fruits directly - I have no said relationship with his lady/(s)
Ultimately we have both realised not one person can fulfill all. Not exclusive to sexual needs... can also transcend into mental & emotional elements.
I do not have the same penchant for seeing him with his gorgeous 'other' nor do I particularly feel inclined to meet (at the moment).
I am thrilled he has found a special person to concurrently explore himself & of course herself.
I am not jealous at all.
Neither is he.
We both want the same things for eachother they just present in different ways.
If I was allowed to be so bold (also considering I do not know all of the nuances of your relationship)
I would suggest embrace your differences. To have an 'open' loving relationship - whatever form it takes is an accomplishment in & of itself & takes much introspection & communication. If your wife is allowing of you to explore others & the best of her capacity means you do this 'exclusively'...
Appreciate her for that! Many do not have such consents & have to hide or lie. She has set that boundary for a reason. It may become fluid at a later date... for now respect her for being able to communicate that with you... Even that is a huge step!
wanderlustQLD
2 years ago
I wonder if the more important question is what motivates you to feel the opposite way? Every relationship and individual is different, so I think the concept of what's "normal" in open relationships is a bit redundant... maybe that should be the basis of the convo with your wife?
Like, *why* do you feel that way and examining why you have the perspective you have (and sharing that eith her). Rather than a conversation about what you want or "think is normal", especiaply if you intend to use external validations to argue your case. Digging a little deeper into what drives your perspectives might enrich your relationship more. Maybe? Just a thought.
Freaky_Fun
2 years ago
Yes.
FeistyFatty
2 years ago
I just noticed your sub category or "Jealous" OP. Not really cool that you've assumed your wife is jealous seeing you with other women. You have an open marriage apparently, so the jealousy issues should have already been dealt with. Maybe there's more to this story.
RHP User
2 years ago
While it’s perfectly ok to reach out to the RHP community to get some guidance on sexual growth and ENM/poly, the best way to deal with issue is to ACCEPT your wife’s response.
It’s purely a ‘comfort’ issue for her. 🥰
For context, the wife of my married lover, never wanted to meet me, but after 12 months of hearing snippets about me, got curious about me and we all met for lunch.
Having a voyeur fetish or a ‘sharing’ fetish is perfectly healthy (for you). And her NOT wanting to watch you, is equally healthy and acceptable.
But as a few in this thread have already pointed out, this conversation really needs to be had with your wife. ❤️
teamaj2
2 years ago
The most amazing wonderful thing about this lifestyle or any relationship is that we all can write our own rule book . We can create whatever boundaries suit US! Boundaries and limits can be shifted but it comes down to respect and listening to your partner . We all have different desires , boundaries , limits and 100% , different things make us aroused.
Personally, I think it’s important to respect your wives limits . I understand you may like to see things unfold differently but u BOTH need to be comfortable.
Listen to her and communicate that you would like to see things evolve differently . If she isn’t interested , let it be . Listening to each other’s wants and needs is so important.
Goodluck . AxRHP User
2 years ago
Appreciate all the thoughts and good to know this is a common thing and that it means there probably isn’t any hidden jealousy she just doesn’t want to see me with other woman and is happy for me to solo.
nightingale8
2 years ago
Meeting any of your partners would that a new social scene is created that she has to interact with. She’s not chosen these friends, you have. So it’s more like blind friend dating, just more complicated! What if she doesn’t like them? Not end of the world just new dynamics to deal with that sometimes it can be easier to keep things separate, simple and everyone happy.
Rising_Phoenix
2 years ago
Funnily enough I was introduced to this site by a long time member who as it turns out is not into the scene at all, couldn’t handle the thought of me actually being with someone else. At least you wife lets you out to play alone, be thankful and not greedy.
RHP User
2 years ago
Quite understandable her not wanting to see you with another woman. I have no desire to watch my husband with someone else nor would I be happyfor him to go solo. Men are visually stimulated whereas women need a connection. Now if you were bi then maybe it would.
My husband rarely gets involved now as he's not the forward type and tended to get left out when we went to parties. He's never minded me getting the attention though. In fact he'd be disappointed if I didn't get a good seeing to. It's not that he can't perform, quite the opposite he's the only one who can get me off with his tongue. But it doesn't appeal watching him with someone else as it just fucks with my head. Hence the solo profile.
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