Saying Sorry....

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  ..the damage can only be repaired if the other person is willing for it be repaired. IF they are, then you need to find a time when you are both feeling calm and ASK them how you can repair the damage. IF their answer is acceptable then you do what they want. They have the moral high ground and you have to just suck it up. The time taken for the damage to be repaired is normally dependant on how bad the deed is, but try and agree a time frame. Be prepared for months or even years of sucking up! If things are THAT bad...then there is normally no way back, but everyone had a different breaking point.....imho.... Hope it works out!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  And let them decide if/how/when you can make it up to them xo

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  well Crackup that all depends what you have done and who you have done it too all you can do is appoligise sincerly and hope whoever it is forgives you and accepts it plus remember time heals most things so if its possible give the other person a little time before trying...some people need that time and space and another thing (and this will sound odd) if you have done wrong, let the other person have a go...just stand there and take it...sometimes it helps if you can have a rant at the person that done you wrong, its helps with the healing. believe me its a hard thing to do but sometimes you do what you have to to be forgiven good luck and i hope it all goes well for you roxxy

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  not that i make a lot of mistakes, of course ;) I used to be the kind of person who'd rather argue to the death and wriggle my way around a point than admit i was wrong, then i grew up and stopped letting pride run my life. Saying sorry feels right even though it leads to consequences but owning my mistakes and working through the consequences always leads me to a better place, if that doesn't mean forgiveness from someone else, at least i won't be beating myself up inside with guilt and will be able to start over.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Sorry does not cut it.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'TassieRose' and another thing (and this will sound odd) if you have done wrong, let the other person have a go...just stand there and take it...sometimes it helps if you can have a rant at the person that done you wrong, its helps with the healing. believe me its a hard thing to do but sometimes you do what you have to to be forgivenyou're absolutely right, roxxy. If you hurt someone and they want to hurt you back, being able to just let them rant really moves the healing process along. They might not really mean it and they might even say some things that aren't right but sometimes it's better to just shut up and let someone you've wronged BE wrong while they sort through their emotions. If their forgiveness is that important to you, it's more important than trying to keep your moral high ground.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I have no problem saying sorry for minor misdemenours. But sorry seems so hollow and minimal for a MAJOR stuff up. I think a big sin can only be redeemed by actions. I agree with Tassie in that regard. You need to explain what you did wrong and let the wronged person rant and rave and they'll eventually let you know how the situation can be redeemed - if at all.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It's a well established fact that it's easier to beg for forgiveness than it is to obtain permission. I don't believe in the concept of sin let alone cardinal sins.... but people do sometimes seriously fuck up along the way. That's where a bit of forgiveness goes a long way and turn the other cheek and so on... all that stuff like judge not... I mean you have to agree it's difficult to live that dream but it sure makes living less stressful. If you fuck up... Lift your collar and come clean then weather the storm as best you can Hugs Stalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I am probably the most ill suited person that I can think of to comment on "sin" in a religious context. Most of that went flying out the window when I read a book (painfully...it's in Oxford english) titled "A Variety of Religious Experiences" by William James. As for the nun, it could be that she was a recently converted hottie that steamed the confessional and was offered another stairway to heaven? I simply try to think of what I may have done, who it may have really harmed and ultimately if there is harm or benefit in making amends. It can be a double edged sword and I am cautious of doing more damage simply to make myself feel better. Think it through ...do your nest and let the cards fall where they may.

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