F26

Safe, real and experienced

April 09 2023

First time posting in here, I never really knew how hard it was to find kink. Kink feels like its all around us and advertised everywhere but finding genuine is so hard. I think 50 shades of grey, porn and a few other factors have brought in so many fake doms and abusive people not respecting consent, boundaries or anything along those lines.

My own experiences being a dom, I've seen the abuse that so many subs have experienced. I'd been wanting to try to switch but It just doesn't feel safe to do so or even being able to find the right person.

Never felt so lost in the community at the moment :(

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FeistyFatty
2 years ago
FetLife
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Libertine001
2 years ago
Consent is a major issue atm...pretending to be a Dom and taking advantage of a situation can mentally scar someone for life which these 'pretenders' have absolutely no grasp of.

Libertine
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RHP User
2 years ago
The key factors are communication and consent. Ive dommed before a long time ago and some subs do like to take it to the extremes of abuse and humiliation. Nothing wrong with that if that's what they desire. for others its more about the direction rather than the physical aspect. again good communication is key along with good after care when play ends.
As someone else has mentioned you'll probably be better off checking out Fetlife. Redhotpie is more catered towards swinging rather than kinks. There was a huge BDSM scene in the UK where I'm from and I've heard it's pretty big over here also.
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madotara69
2 years ago
Could you consider finding the right person’s to feel safe with?
Passionately curious is us lovebird’s, Tara is the mischievous one out of the two of us and has a wide range of kinky “ likes it all, nearly all anyhow and boundaries she calls the goldy locks zone, loves equilibrium and everything it means, every single choice she makes, she makes, I’ll see them through, we are both lucky and 30 years still safe and in love, no secrets, no lies, nothing we can’t speak to or about, including you and we would very much like to together if you perhaps choose us two, and then we may have the privilege of safely in respects learn what mean’s’ either of us is safe with yourself and thoughts within the goldy locks zone, and principles protecting friendships as one would expect as not only safe, self, equilibrium and everything it means, is to belong, to share and care and into altered state of mind where kink rolls with intensity’s limits each in their own Intensions in trust with who the choices include to wherever intended, safe in care of friendship and true discipline to maintain, unconditional then you may feel safe to switch, tell a joke, cry of trauma hurting, laugh and lift spirits, care and aftercare and listen. Teach and learn passionately and simply comfortable and being one’s self discipline’s intuition.
Some things can’t be told, somethings can only be shown.
So yeah, or we will sit out on this one,sadly.

Mado
Mado Tara xx
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hardmacca2
2 years ago
In my experience being a bi bottom, the hardest thing is finding a Dom/cpl who listens to me when I say stop or slow. As a rule of thumb if anyone is uncomfortable at any point then stop or change. The key is that everyone involved should be having fun & not at someone else's expense.
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funtimes1978
2 years ago
I just want to say Be careful on fetlife don’t do meet ups unless you meet first at a munch or a kink event
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MzPenelope
2 years ago
It can be really hard to find places to talk clearly and openly about the kind of sexual experiences that we'd like to have, and *especially so* for kink. Sometimes I swear it's like the excitement gets in the way of the communication!

If you'd like to have a chat about some great screening and negotiating tools, or if you'd like to check someone's references, you are welcome to send me a message.
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