M48 F37
STD's and the Scene- What Do You Do?
January 26 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Grab the nearest bull horn and yell it out in the middle of the place! Sorry, I don't have the respect nor the time for people that knowingly infect someone with a disease...it is disgraceful! They don't care about anyone else but their own enjoyment...so why not scream, yell and let EVERYONE know what they have done! xFunlovingx
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DonnaBrett
14 years ago
As much as you'd want to yell it out...that can go bad cos other people there may think.."OK how do you know?" then cast a suspicious eye at you, certainly not the result you want. Also it could cause a major blow up at the party..not a good situation either. Probably the first step is to pull the hosts aside and tell them quietly.... it's up to them to where they take it from there... yes that would be a very sticky situation indeed..and not sticky in a good way..
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RHP User
14 years ago
I ask them directly if they've had that issue seen to. Some of my neatest friends have had at least one STD. It's all out there to catch one way or another. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Did they admit to your friends that they were aware they were infected after the fact? Is it curable? Is it something that a condom would be sufficient barrier to?And most importantly, would the host of the party have the balls and sense to deal with it directly and calmly? If not I'd do it myself.
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RHP User
14 years ago
How can you be sure that your friends got the STD from them? You just never know, so I wouldn't confront them publically. And as Stalky says, they may have had the STD seen too anyway. xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ok...well I know when I post this, it will come out with a holier than thou attitude..thats the problem wit the written word...but it is what it is...but this is what I would do Im a doctor - and in WA - it is jailable offence to have sex with another if you are knowingly carrying a STD - (not sure about the other states of Australia) I would draw them aside (and in complete and total privacy ) ask them about what I know (remembering here that you know that this is a fact..) - I would naturally give them the time and also the rite to justify what they have done about their STD....because they MAY have done something and being treated....and theres nothing stopping them from playing safely except a MORAL obligation......if they have done nothing about their condition, I would inform them of the legalities of their decision (if they were in WA) I would also inform them as a doctor of the risks they are taking and the possible outcome of their decision.. I would also ask them if they wish to discuss this with me , their decision not to do anything confidentially as a doctor ........but I also would tell them how I feel as a fellow swinger.... how disappointed I am with their neglect. they do have the rite to justify their actions and "defend"themselves... If they confided in me as a doctor then I cannot inform anyone else at the party..that is their rite.....however if they didnt confide in me..and were happy to discuss with all and sundry, then I think I would (and Ive thought about this a bit) inform the host/hostess of the party of the situation...(if they didnt know) ..the thing is these people (as much as I personally think it is MORALLY wrong ) have the rite to play...one would ASSUME they would play safely and would tell potential partners..however my own views and feelings cannot be forced onto the couple in question.....You cannot make people morally responsible.....we all come from our own perspectives... Its a moral question...and each one of us will have a different reaction to the core of the story.. ... its a toughie and its the Russian roulette thing that you face everytime you have sex with a new partner...every single time... I guess the bottom line, I would quietly confront...but at the same time.... be respectful of their decision to be at the party.....bottom line is they could be there just to watch...you just dont know...one never truly knows how one will react until one is actually confronted.. Good question Rocker couple...
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RHP User
14 years ago
SLK27 as a doctor you should know that every body lies. I would be careful as you don't know if this couple were the real culprits and you don't know the full situation. So yes, be careful as you might get a punch on the nose if your are wrong.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think it's sometimes impossible to point the finger at any one individual. You can get an Std and not know you have it until you're tested... and by then, you might have your suspicions, but it's difficult to know. It's a mistake to blame anyone but yourself if you find you have an STD. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting Me: would draw them aside (and in complete and total privacy ) ask them about what I know (remembering here that you know that this is a fact..) - I would naturally give them the time and also the rite to justify what they have done about their STD....because they MAY have done something and being treated....and theres nothing stopping them from playing safely except a MORAL obligation......if they have done nothing about their condition, I would inform them of the legalities of their decision (if they were in WA) I would also inform them as a doctor of the risks they are taking and the possible outcome of their decision.. I would also ask them if they wish to discuss this with me , their decision not to do anything confidentially as a doctor ........but I also would tell them how I feel as a fellow swinger.... how disappointed I am with their neglect. they do have the rite to justify their actions and "defend"themselves... AND bottom line is they could be there just to watch...you just dont know...one never truly knows how one will react until one is actually confronted.. Yes people lie ...and not just to doctors !!!!...they could lie to anyone !!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yes SKL but my point is that they may have never even had an STD, the friends of friends may have got it wrong and assumed they caught it from this couple when they may have caught it from some where else.The OP has not given us enough information to say this with any certainty. You say "you know it is a fact" .. but do you really? You are taking it from hearsay which I think is a dangerous thing to do. Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was going on the hypothetical (as stated by the OP) Quote: and you spot a couple that are STD carriers. You know, because they infected friends, and didn't warn them of their infection prior. the "you know" is what I was referring to, as stated by the OP...the Op stated that "you know" and I was following on from that......as a medical scientist ...we deal with fact (not hearsay) however you cant control what people tell you.. Its a hypothetical situation and accordingly Im going with the hypothesis as posted by the OP- In "real" life...the first thing I would ask is have they got a STD or possibley been exposed to one ? ....thats a completely different scenario and is not what the OP asked. And thats rite..the OP needs to give us all a bit more info so we are more informed to comment, however we can only comment on what they have told us.......and as Stalky ritely pointed out Quoting Stalky: You can get an STD and not know you have it until you're tested... and by then, you might have your suspicions, but it's difficult to know. It's a mistake to blame anyone but yourself if you find you have an STD. Many Stds do not make their presence known for weeks, some even months - some up to six months incubation...so we would need to make a more informed decision based on FACTUAL information..but the time being, we can only comment on what we would do know......in the situation the OP suggested. If I confronted ( in private) the couple and they said No after my inital questioning...that they have no STD, then thats that isnt it ? nothing more can be done...up to me then if chose to play with them or not (and of course a lot of other factors would come into that) ...people lie....in fact people lie alot....however my own experience is people tend to be more honest with a medic...but thats my own experience and is not always the case......just at times.......mainly because I am bound by a confidentially agreement and the Oath.. As I stated previously, every partner we decide to be with, is a potential risk...and it is us all to look after our own sexual health..if one choose not to, then that is your rite...but it could have ramifications...and some of those ramifications could by life changing.,...or even threatening........at the end of the day we all have free will regarding our sexual health....and only you can decide who you wish to play with and what kind of protection you will use...... If one ever does a Infection control course - like if you are a medic, nurse, funeral director, dentist, ambo..etc...the first thing they teach you is to assume that every single person you come into contact with has the potential to be infectious..thats why we all wear gloves all the time.....in ase we come into contact with ANY bodily fluid....every single person could be carrying something.....be it a STD or like another disease thats currently rife...yes TB is back and its everywhere....its just that most people again do not know they have it, usually detected by accident when they are complaining of a non related symptom........all this is very cheery news.....still you have more chance of being killed in a auto accident..and most of us still drive every day....Life is random..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Right.
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RHP User
14 years ago
A priest that gives last "Rites"? Am I right? As in correct? Right? Right? Right? Or will you give me my dying Rites? xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
....Did you just write right?
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RHP User
14 years ago
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RHP User
14 years ago
use protection - it's your rite! ;p
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RHP User
14 years ago
Tell us Rocker couple:When your friends found out they had a STD:Did they get in touch with the couple they are accusing to warn them? (a nicer way than saying hey you guys gave us a STD) What was their reaction?We would appreciate that phone call / email.We would not confront them or mention it to others a 10 foot pole comes to mind.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I hate having to assume that my clients are possible walking infectious zones but that's the price we pay for being an open society and being allowed to do my work. That also applies to people who play without protection.Since you personally have no proof that this couple is the source of your friend's infection I would do nothing, frustrating though it may be. If they are stupid enough to have sex without a condom that's their business.
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playfulminx
14 years ago
Not that it makes any difference but is the STI a treatable one or a manageable one? If it's treatable then as someone suggested, perhaps the couple has been treated? If it's not treatable like herpes or HIV then that's a hell of a conundrum.There's two issues here though: a couple having (or had) an STI, and a couple having an STI but still knowingly engages in sex with other people. If it's the former, what can you do? People unfortunately do get STIs (in or out of the scene) no matter how much care is taken sometimes. Chlamydia is easily one STI that can pass on to heaps of people without any of them knowing about it for a long, long time. Hence, regular STI checks ain't a bad idea in this game. You can't count on everyone to be honest (or know that they are definitely STI free) so you do need to do what you can to protect yourselves as much as possible.As for the latter, if a couple is that reckless to have sex with others, knowing they have a STI (and that fact is 100% true) then they should be confronted about it. I think if it's known to them that you know what's up, they probably aren't going to be that active at the party :|PS - Chasing_Midnight - I agree that if one wants to be fully careful, you can't go too wild at a party full of 'randoms' but I'll bet you anything that STIs are transmitted just as easily between two people who purport to have gotten to know each other well. I guess we all take risks but the challenge is to try and minimise that risk.
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Mr_MrsJones
14 years ago
There seems to be a plethora of forum threads about STIs, safe sex and transmission of STI around at the moment. Typically there are a lot of opinions being offered. So here is mine. After a pretty open and frank discussion with my GP on this topic and a whole lot of reading I have come to the conclusion that condoms are just as much of a security blanket as a protection method. They fail if; they are used on more than one vagina, they are not put on properly, they don't fit the wearer, they have been carried around in a wallet or pocket for a few months. Furthermore oral sex without a dental dam or condom is just as risky for transmission of most STI's as intercourse without a condom. In fact getting any of anyones cum or precum on you is downright dangerous. Don't any of you people condemming STI transmitters try to tell me that you have a barrier between you and your partners AT ALL TIMES and you haven't slipped at some point. Now I am not here to say that people should not be more responsible because they should. I am here to say that if you want to play in this pool then STIs are a fact of life. As Mistress T said you have to assume that everyone is infected and act accordingly. If you can't deal with that then perhaps this lifestyle is not for you. As adults the best thing we can do is be informed from reliable sources you trust. We also need to be a bit pragmatic about the consequences of some things. Putting Herpes into the same category as HIV and Hepatitis is a little bit of an overreaction. Kind of like lumping the common cold into the same category as full blown tuberculosis. In response to the original question. Unless you are in possession of all of the facts and not just your friend's accusations then you should keep your mouth shut and avoid contact with said person. Otherwise you risk looking like just as much of a fool as them. Think of this. If they are at a party and you KNOW they are infected just because of some information you came accross who else at the party is infected and you just don't know because you aren't in their loop? I have another question for you. Now that you know your friends have the STI do you play with them? Do you warn all their prospective partners for them? Do you treat them differently?
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RHP User
14 years ago
I would..... use a condom
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RHP User
14 years ago
We use condoms with other people (girl here: I carry my own at parties) so I'd probably just continue that practice, and try and set a good example? :) It's your choice to use one or not, so unless someone held you down, then it's kinda hard to blame anyone else.Mrs Blacktastic
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quietly attach a sign to their backs reading... . DIS-INFECT
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RHP User
14 years ago
The question was put as a hypothetical so the happy rockers have nothing to answer. It's a good question. Knowing that people with HIV + can happily live in a sexual relationship with someone without infecting them by being careful..... One of my hypothetical friends is Poz and while it's his choice that we no longer play, he is sexually active. Who he tells and who he doesn't tell is entirely his business as far as I'm concerned. hypothetically, I would never enter a party and yell out to the crowd "hey, that guy is Poz". The onus of responsibility is obviously on him to take precautions and tell whoever he thinks ought to know. Trouble for him is because he is a pozman it makes him more susceptible to anything and everything going. The virus is well understood these days. People are more risk to him than he is to them! Those diseases can kill him, whereas they might make you feel unwell until the pennecilin cuts in. I don't think you can blame anyone but yourself if you contract an StD. That's the risk you take by sexual contact without precaution. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Below is copied from the couples section, as we would have thought if you positive to any STD by law you need to advise others that you have sex with. Its not optional.Quote couples section 29/1/12Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) not a nice thing to catch especially when the person knows they have STD but still go ahead and have sex without telling you they are effected, what a lot of people don’t know is that the person who effect you can sue up wards of 30 thousand to 250 thousand dollars in the courts, as Australian law states that someone that’s carrying STD must inform sex partners of their disease... In cases such as HIV a person can be charge with man-slaughter as this disease can be fatal. As for herpes and some of the lesser STD you can be sued for all medical and ongoing treatment of this disease... The only reason you don’t see people taking action is they are ashamed of it, if more people would take action when they find that the person they had sex with, new they had STD this might make people who have STD to tell their potential partners of it.... I am not telling people they can’t have sex, just that people without STD should have that choice on whether they have sex with a person who infected...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ahem. The reason more people don't sue is because the law in this country is all fucked up. Firstly, and rightly so, the burdon of proof that an Std comes from a certain individual is mighty difficult to prove. Secondly, let's say you prove negligence, the legal cost of doing so will be high, and a good chunk of that cannot be recovered from the other side, because lawyers fees paid more often far exceed the reasonable costs recoverable from the other side.... and won't compensate you for the years of angst it takes to have your dispute decided. Easier to buy your own damn Zovirax! Hugs Stalky
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