F61
Rudeness and arrogance
February 20 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'justjean65' I'm not superwoman. | True...with the invisible rope and that body, you look more like Wonderwoman to me...but then again I disgraced myself but did manage to actually get invited to me you...right? | Damn...say yes or I am going to look like a moron. | PS...Superwoman can't fly even though I saw it in a movie. I have seen Wonderwoman, too...and well, I believe she can do most any damn thing she likes!
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laidbackguy1978
15 years ago
yes rudeness and arrogance can be extremely annoying but it works both ways of the equation. I have messaged ladies on here and have received no reply, not even a no thanks. I have received please send me a message from flirts and then no response. I do not harass with constant emails etc that would be abusive and extremely rude. However a simple reply would be great ladies if you are not interested. I guess you ladies are inundated with messages so some time for a reply is warranted. I guess I am just saying be polite it goes a long way in this life and I think these days is something lost on some of us.
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RHP User
15 years ago
does sending spiteful messages when u dont get your own way actually work for anyone? i would have thought that by showing that nasty side yourself you would blow your chances once and for all. perhaps by simmering down and showing a bit of patience, you will present yourself as the kind of person that someone might actually like to meet.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have to say, I just don't undrstand that attitude from guys. Women get far more flirts/messages from guys and I suspect it can get a bit overwelming at times. I appreciate a response letting me know someone isn'tinterested, but the fact is, I often get nothing. This is normal, not everyone I contact i going to be interested and may not reply to me for a whole lot of reasons. Why should I be offended? I would have thought it was just to be expected and I let it go and move on. Come on guys, grow up,get some balls and stop actig like whining children....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Maybe it's because of your increased presence in the Forums. Regardless, it is very poor form and there is no excuse for such behaviour, and blokes wonder whywomen are disiclined to communicate.Yet another case of the idiots wrecking the experience, for both the ladies and the decent blokes.I think you just need to develop a thick skin and don't let the wally's get you down.Hang in there Chicky, I have been enjoying your contributions as have many others I am sure.Cheers Nev...
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RHP User
15 years ago
just part of the internet experience. sheer ignorance is what grinds my gears the most. fair enough if they are not interested i can take it like a man but my pet hate is just being ignored and getting zero response. simply because i like to get feedback, if im being knocked back for a reason then perhaps can do something bout it. think hands down the population of men on here is much greater than the women and the more attractive you are the greater the attention and thus the greater the volume of undesirable emails =) id almost bet you can make a scientific formulae for it haha
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' does sending spiteful messages when u dont get your own way actually work for anyone? i would have thought that by showing that nasty side yourself you would blow your chances once and for all. Yeah doesnt really work at all Theone. Once i get an email like that i go thankgod i didn't end up meeting the spoilt brat. What would happen if everything didn't go their way in a meet, would it end up verbal abuse in person. They do have the mass flirt replies but that really isn't me to send everyone the same reply when i may not have had a chance to check out everybodys profile. To me that is like brushing everyone off. And i can't use the sorry my dancecard is full, because it isn't, just my email is full lol And what would a mass email be to everyone, sorry i'm a bit busy i will get back to you asap. Your still delaying a proper email so i would still be in the same boat lol.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' but then again I disgraced myself but did manage to actually get invited to you...right? Damn...say yes or I am going to look like a moron. | I wouldn't say you disgraced yourself and i am a forgiving person. And of course you are welcome up here, why are you questioning that lol. But even with our miscommunication i would never have thought to write you an abusive email. I just kept quiet and moved you out of my top friends And good point carlos makes on the forum thing. It did get worse after i started writing on them hmmm.
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RHP User
15 years ago
it takes nothing to reply to an email and say "no thanks" it is both women and men that do it iv had men abuse me in the first email just because i live in Tassie...yeah work that one out in my book there is NO excuse for rudeness...somethings make you say "hell noo" and rudeness is one of them and like Theone id love to know if it actually gets people anywhere too...but im fairly sure no one will own up to sending rude messages il tell you what i do though and RHP hates it when i do this haha...but play with them, have some fun with the morons that send the idiot emails...it puts a smile on your face hahaha Arkengel thanks for that i now know why i dont get as much mail as the other girls hahaha roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well, I can only assume that there are some people who are similar to me in this respect.... the problem is that I'm moody. I mean, sometimes I feel like responding and sometimes I feel it would be more appropriate that I wait to reply when I am in a better frame of mind... I mean to say a pleasant message requires a pleasant reply and I need to be pre-disposed to deliver it. Sorry to say, that's how it is. If I've delayed or not responded to you, that's probably the reason.Having rationalised my own behaviour how can I rationally take offence if someone does the same to me?HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
We cant believe the RUDE people who cant even answer our messages.. how hard is it to say no thanks iam busy or whatever set the example maybe...we try to do so
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RHP User
15 years ago
Whilst there is absolutely no need for a person to respond in abuse should an advance be rejected there is also a courtesy aspect to the need to respond to the initial approach as well (IMO).While there can be little doubt that women will get many more flirts than the average male or couple that should not absolve the ladies from the expectation of common courtesy with a 'no thanks' type of response, albeit a belated one if that is what is required due to time issues etc. Of course, all this is dependent on the approach being from a person whom does indeed meet the profile preferences as where it does not than the sender has in the first place shown a lack of courtesy by approaching when they do not meet the lady's preferences.But, that said there can be again no excuse for a rejected person/couple to feel offended as after all this is (to put it simply) a shop where we are looking for something that suits what we want, and as such we can pass on an opportunity if/when we choose and we should not be judged because of it.Shell and Gaz
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RHP User
15 years ago
I get mail from people who certainly havent read my profile. If they haven't read that much before emailing me, why do I think that a reply mail will also get read? Or then you have the ones that start off bland and peaceful. Then I say something totally mundane and they twist that around, say something sneakily sleazy. Most often they add a LOL trying to be funny, when it isn't. I'm not giving that sort the time of day.And THEN you have the guys that flirt by saying 'message me.' I'm a guest. I cant. Simple. Or there are guys who require a reply flirt that is JUST a plain 'yes' or a plain 'no' - and none of the other reply flirts work. Why not have one for 'lets talk and see how it goes?' In the absence of that, they get a 'thanks.' It really wont get them anywhere, especially when we are both guests, but its a reply.
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RHP User
15 years ago
how dare you have a life outside of this forum.You should be on 24/7 and ensure you message back within a nano second of receiving a mail.In fact, do what the guys do, don't even bother reading it, just assume they are up for it, and message them back pronto!
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RHP User
15 years ago
As I clearly state on my profile.... About Me If you dont fit my age bracket...I will not reply. If I dont fit what YOU say you're looking for...I will not reply. If you dont fit what IM looking for....I will not reply. If your message is crude...I will not reply. If you havent read any of this and ignore the above....I will not reply...hahahhaha! If you still insist on sending me a message....dont complain when I ignore it.And dont get nasty...coz Ive made it as clear as I possibly can!!!JMO...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
*~Whew~*....think I will just stick with begging even if it is a little demoralizing.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm with you, Justjean, the 3 or 4 messages in day asking why you haven't replied , then moving on to the 'you're not serious' bullshit and the name calling is not only rude, it's also giving off a really creepy desperate vibe. ick. . It'd be nice if they'd approach us with the understanding that we're here to satisfy our OWN needs by mutual exchange with likeminded people, we're not here to solve THEIR problem of not having gotten any lately. I like to think Superwoman would pound the little creeps into the pavement. Quoting 'stalky' Well, I can only assume that there are some people who are similar to me in this respect.... the problem is that I'm moody. I mean, sometimes I feel like responding and sometimes I feel it would be more appropriate that I wait to reply when I am in a better frame of mind... I mean to say a pleasant message requires a pleasant reply and I need to be pre-disposed to deliver it. Sorry to say, that's how it is. If I've delayed or not responded to you, that's probably the reason.Having rationalised my own behaviour how can I rationally take offence if someone does the same to me?HugsStalky Same. I might have a lot to say on the forums but personal messages really tax the limited amount of charm i have available to give some days. I'd rather wait til I can give it my full attention and reply properly. Quoting 'laidbackguy1978'I have received please send me a message from flirts and then no response. oops. guilty. In my defense, though, sometimes the message received contains dealbreakers. The problem is that I can't respond nicely and say "sorry you're not what i'm looking for right now" since it was me who did the looking. . What am i supposed to say, "Please disregard that flirt, I had no idea until you messaged me that you were a complete tool, perhaps you should mention it in your profile" ?? so i leave it for a bit, to think about, then i realise i've left it so long that it'd be awkward to contact them to tell them i'm not interested. Then after a few weeks I rationalise that they've probably forgotten about me by now anyway. Hopefully. . xx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
I dont come on here every day so I tend to take a little while to message back sometimes and would think it would be the same for the ladies i chat with. It will be great to meet some sexy women but I know that I wont meet with everyone on here and I'm ok with that. I think some people may think its a "sure thing" that you'll get some on rhp but even though people love chatting sex on here, the normal dating rules still apply-for most ;) people like to get to know people even if all there after is something causal... need to figure out the crazies somehow and exchanging emails can sure do that.
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JessicaRabbit
15 years ago
Why should we have to spend our time sending 'courtesy' replies to every Tom, Dick and Harry who messages and CLEARLY hasn't read the profile or looked past the shiny pretty pictures? If the message is something along the lines of 'Hi, wanna fuk?' or if I receive a very obviously template message, I won't bother. If they have seen to put in some effort, then I will return that courtesy. Simple as that. I have never and will never reply to every message I get because if I did i'd be on here 24/7 and I spend enough time procrastinating on here as it is! Further to that, I had one single male message me something that showed he clearly hadn't read my profile and I had gotten to the point where I was getting fed up with it, so I replied something sarcastic back and got something along the lines of "yeah well of course I didn't read your profile, i'm not here to read and yours is a short story.' OF COURSE IT IS GENIUS and men like that are the reason for it. But back to the topic at hand, justjean, I have had the same problem numerous times. You just have to learn to brush it off and not let it get to you. If you know you're not interested, politely say so then just don't bother replying to their emails when they get nasty or can't take the hint. Dida xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi Jean, My hubby and I have just become settled with 2 things: 1) the arrogance of some people makes us think that they are here for the sole purpose of experiencing power over people by not replying to messages, or if heaven forbid they messaged you and you were busy, you get a tirade for not replying in a timely manner, or replying no thank you to their poorly ritten massage (deliberate spelling errors) 2) the genuine people like you are worth the bullshit to get to know. Hope our reply helps. S
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'mumonmum' Hi Jean, My hubby and I have just become settled with 2 things: 1) the arrogance of some people makes us think that they are here for the sole purpose of experiencing power over people by not replying to messages, or if heaven forbid they messaged you and you were busy, you get a tirade for not replying in a timely manner, or replying no thank you to their poorly ritten massage (deliberate spelling errors) 2) the genuine people like you are worth the bullshit to get to know. Hope our reply helps. SWhat she said - yeah
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RHP User
15 years ago
Like, you sent an invitation to a party, an invitation only party at that, to someone who has specifically asked to be included in your list, they read your message and then DO NOTHING. No reply, no 'gee thanks but we are busy/overseas/maybe sick', or 'damn, that's my sock sorting night', nothing but the sounds of silence. Guess who isn't on the next party list.
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RHP User
15 years ago
We are with Perigrine, BJ and Dida when it comes to replies, why should we reply when it is very clear they have not read our profile. We don't spend endless hours on here. So the time we do is spend on RHP is looking for or responding to those who meet our preferences not those who have ignored our preferences. We also have our own profiles and so far (3 weeks) the female profile has blocked 300+ male profiles that have failed to read the very clear print. Prior to changing her "politeness" when she had taken the time to say "No thanks" return comments like "You're a waste of space with your high expectations" made the RHP experience momentarily unpleasant (block and move on). For those who have messaged us either to our couples or individual profiles the ones who match our preferences and have written more than a few words get our time and effort in return. We don't always have an opportunity for the both of us to look at the interested person/couple so we can take up to a week to say YES or NO.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Although I think everyone should be courteous in their communications with each other I really don't think a reply to EVERY message or wink is required. Is there any difference in the "thanks but no thanks" or the non reply? Sure it shows they just haven't missed your message but really, if it's going to happen then it will! I'll shoot off an introductory flirt at first to get someone to have a look at our profile. When we were paid up I might send a short message just to feel people out. I prefer to keep it short and sweet and have others have a look at our profile and decide. I don't have time for original "thanks but no thanks" replies and frankly prefer not to read them in my inbox as well. Again though, there really isn't any need to be nasty, well most of the time anyway!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I was recently seriously abused by a female on here for not responding to her email. I feel I should share the email that I decided not to respond to (disguised appropriately for the sake of her privacy):available 2 chat yes .... available 4 more that wld depend on if after meetin there was attraction on both sides... aaah da probz that cld ensue... 4 eg ... u may get all xcited n go from flaccid 2 rock hard then b in a quandary as 2 whetha it wld all b worthwhile 2 part wit somethin u may have been nurturin a lifetime......can u imagine wat?? yes.... a riddle....lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'GuyLondon34' I was recently seriously abused by a female on here for not responding to her email. I feel I should share the email that I decided not to respond to (disguised appropriately for the sake of her privacy):Are you serious or is that made up?. My brain is hurting just from reading that haha. I doubt i would want to get in a tiff with a guy via email, confrontations aren't really my thing so i doubt i would go and look for one by bringing it on a guy lol. As for all the replies, thankyou to everyone for responding, it seems everyone has their own idea's on responding to emails but we all agree abusive emails aren't called for. And thankyou to mumonmum, i have found you to be very friendly and understanding and someone i can totally relate to on here. As for fitnmature48 well having met you i can definetly say you are someone i will be friends with for quite some time. I really need to update my profile so people are fully aware if i take my time it means i'm not being unpolite just busy..altho to be honest i would love to add in, if i don't reply your just not my type lol. Same as writing i would rather a call than endless emails or trying to juggle you and many others during messenger chats. I cant keep up with 1 let alone half a dozen (figure of speech). And as for rudeness that also applies on the phone and messenger. So does class and first impressions. So if someone is wandering why they got blocked today with no warning. owning racehorses doesn't make me mega rich, so wanting to know me and become great friends with me because you assume i am totally loaded..makes an ass out of you lol. Btw who tells a woman oh im all for the money if you have any..give me a break, heres a $50 go and buy yourself a blow up doll. Altho, they dont spurt out money from their private parts like an atm machine either, sorry lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
LMFAO it could have been a really genuine offer...... but I think you just need to a 12 year old to tell you what it says. :pIf I had to guess, I'd say she was keen to do you with a strap on.HugsS Quoting 'GuyLondon34' available 2 chat yes .... available 4 more that wld depend on if after meetin there was attraction on both sides... aaah da probz that cld ensue... 4 eg ... u may get all xcited n go from flaccid 2 rock hard then b in a quandary as 2 whetha it wld all b worthwhile 2 part wit somethin u may have been nurturin a lifetime......can u imagine wat?? yes.... a riddle....lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
It's simple people just be polite and friendly and you to can have a validation from jean , she is very real : )
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RHP User
15 years ago
... there are things you can do to minimise the problem. If the scenario is that you get a message and crank off a quick reply telling him he seems cool and you'd like to hear more, then he sends you one making a real pitch and it goes unanswered despite seeing that you're often online, I can see him getting cranky. It sounds as though maybe you have too many guys on the hook at once to deal with them effectively - perhaps this is partly a time management problem of your own making? If you're getting 3 or 4 of those messages a day, it sounds as though you're talking to a lot of men, some of whom you'll inevitably disappoint by not eventually meeting up with them anyway.Of course, there's never an excuse for an abusive message - I'm just suggesting that it might be worth considering whether your own approach may be contributing to your problems.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' perhaps this is partly a time management problem of your own making? If you're getting 3 or 4 of those messages a day, it sounds as though you're talking to a lot of men, some of whom you'll inevitably disappoint by not eventually meeting up with them anyway.Glad you said perhaps otherwise i would be mighty pissed at this comment by your suggestion of putting the blame back onto me. Your basically saying if i reply to guys emails to be polite, apparently im talking to too many guys? Most emails are returned only with a thanks for the email and compliment. I don't respond to every email with a thanks for the email want to hook up or chat and then lead them on a merry dance that would lead to nothing. The sheer volume of emails any woman gets from guys is not the ladies fault or a time management problem. I try to do the polite thing and respond because the men have taken the time to respond to me. Unfortunetly many men think once i have responded once or maybe twice that means they are at the top of the list and i will respond to their emails first and in a quick manner. It is then when they find i have other emails to thank that they get rude and arrogant. Maybe men actually think that a woman replying in any fashion means he is about to score and do a touch down..not so. And anyone who has seen me online would notice i'm on to read a few emails, maybe do a forum response and then log off. And even if i am online for an hour, that isnt spent entirely responding or chatting to guys. I also do come to read forums and my time at the end of the day is my time not anyone elses. So what would you suggestion be, leave to keep everyone happy because i seem to be popular enough to warrant a ton of emails or just be rude to everyone and not send responses to their emails. Because if i do respond wouldnt that warrant another one sent back to me and then i am chatting to too many men? Seriously your comment made no sense at all.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'justjean65'I try to do the polite thing and respond because the men have taken the time to respond to me. Unfortunetly many men think once i have responded once or maybe twice that means they are at the top of the list and i will respond to their emails first and in a quick manner. It is then when they find i have other emails to thank that they get rude and arrogant. Maybe men actually think that a woman replying in any fashion means he is about to score and do a touch down..not so. So what would you suggestion be, leave to keep everyone happy because i seem to be popular enough to warrant a ton of emails or just be rude to everyone and not send responses to their emails. Because if i do respond wouldnt that warrant another one sent back to me and then i am chatting to too many men? Seriously your comment made no sense at all. Yes, if you exchange a couple of messages with a man, he absolutely feels as though he's at the top of your list - at least in the top 5 or so. We men don't get the dozens or hundreds of messages that women do, so when we swap a couple from the same girl, we feel as though we're onto something. Not a touchdown perhaps, but at least a passing thought that meeting for a drink might not be out of the question.Every man here would appreciate you taking the time to respond, but if you're not interested, just tell him thanks, but you don't want to take it any further. If you don't make it that clear and a guy puts a lot of effort into his next messages only to be told eventually, yes, he could become annoyed. Perhaps it just takes you a couple of messages to make up your mind whether you're interested? Fair enough, but I suspect that women who are more decisive suffer less from the problem you describe, so it's still at least within your control.As for my suggestion as to how you might best conduct yourself, I'd go with the following:Initial Contact Rude post - ignore and block if you feel strongly about it. Polite post from uninteresting man - auto-reply with a thanks but no thanks. Polite post from interesting man - ask for more details and resign yourself to the fact that you've engaged in conversation with him.Subsequent Contact Rude post - ignore and block if you feel strongly about it. Polite post from uninteresting man - as this is a subsequent contact, you must have found him interesting previously, so he merits a personalised thanks but no thanks as soon as he becomes uninteresting. I'd hope this didn't happen too often as it can lead to the problem you described. Polite post from interesting man - rock and roll! I'd be thrilled if all the women here took that approach - I can't imagine that any man here would have too many problems with it... except those who post rude messages of course...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Yes, if you exchange a couple of messages with a man, he absolutely feels as though he's at the top of your list - at least in the top 5 or so. We men don't get the dozens or hundreds of messages that women do, so when we swap a couple from the same girl, we feel as though we're onto something. Not a touchdown perhaps, but at least a passing thought that meeting for a drink might not be out of the question.Every man here would appreciate you taking the time to respond, but if you're not interested, just tell him thanks, but you don't want to take it any further. If you don't make it that clear and a guy puts a lot of effort into his next messages only to be told eventually, yes, he could become annoyed. Perhaps it just takes you a couple of messages to make up your mind whether you're interested? Fair enough, but I suspect that women who are more decisive suffer less from the problem you describe, so it's still at least within your control. Not meeting up with every man that I exchange a few nice messages with doesn't make me indecisive, the 'passing thought that meeting for a drink might not be out of the question' occurs within the first couple of messages for me too, but a subsequent polite post from an interesting man still doesn't guarantee any rock n roll. Why should it? . No matter how decisive we are, there's still no way we could or should be held responsible for the disappointment or annoyance felt by those interesting polite men if nothing comes of it. Each individual should be in control of his own reactions, no matter what the circumstance. Nobody 'makes' anyone send a nasty message to someone else, it's a choice they made for themselves.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Yes, if you exchange a couple of messages with a man, he absolutely feels as though he's at the top of your list - at least in the top 5 or so. We men don't get the dozens or hundreds of messages that women do, so when we swap a couple from the same girl, we feel as though we're onto something. Not a touchdown perhaps, but at least a passing thought that meeting for a drink might not be out of the question.If i as a woman thought even for a second that i was in every guys top 5 that has emailed me at least twice, and then spat the dummy when i didnt get a date or laid by them that week, i would be classed a self centred stuck up bitch lol. It is 100% true, most guys on here are not after baggage, stuck up women and most would appreciate a reply to emails. So i do the right thing, they email nice profile your hot and i reply with a thankyou. Oops forgot i was to get out the diary check if i can fit him in and then go yep that one liner sure did work lol. If i met or slept with everyone who has said i am hot, i would never sleep in my lifetime lol. Men cant even figure out from one email if they want to catch up 100% for sure with a woman, unless they are the type that will lay every woman with a pulse lol. Sometimes it does take 2 emails and not replying quick after he has explained a bit more about himself warrants no abuse. Some guys write quick emails the first time because they arent even sure they will get a response and some guys ,it actually takes them some guts to get the nerve to email a woman they think may go no thanks. Being friendly and polite is just me. And the men who have met me, have met me after that 2nd email or chat but alas, is only 7 days in a week and with a job and all, hard to fit in the hundred men who email me even if i was the type to want to do 100 men, which im not btw. If i have replied 2 or 3 times which is only to a very few, it means yes i would like to meet you but it may not be this week or next week but SOON , damn it could even be ok yes tomorrow works that work meeting has been canceled. And if i havent emailed you back asap dont get ya knickers in a knot, it may be im replying to other people and being polite or i have normal life things to attend to or heaven forbid maybe actually spending the night watching a dvd and not wanting to deal with the BS i get here sometimes here lol.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Not meeting up with every man that I exchange a few nice messages with doesn't make me indecisive, the 'passing thought that meeting for a drink might not be out of the question' occurs within the first couple of messages for me too, but a subsequent polite post from an interesting man still doesn't guarantee any rock n roll. Why should it? . No matter how decisive we are, there's still no way we could or should be held responsible for the disappointment or annoyance felt by those interesting polite men if nothing comes of it. Each individual should be in control of his own reactions, no matter what the circumstance. Nobody 'makes' anyone send a nasty message to someone else, it's a choice they made for themselves. Your use of "indecisive" rather than my preferred "less decisive" is a little unfair, I think. A woman who makes up her mind about a guy after one message is more decisive than a woman who requires two or more messages. Indecisive is an emotive word. Rock and roll on the other hand was a bad choice of words by me - that doesn't mean "have sex with the guy", it means "now that all the dud stuff is out of the way, enjoy reading something more top drawer". A lazy choice of words though.As for the disappointment of others, I do feel that we disagree there. I do think that we should hold ourselves responsible for the way we deal with others. At one end, I feel that acknowledging efforts by sending a "thanks but no thanks" - at the other end, I think we have a responsibility to consider the efforts of the people we're talking to. We men have to send out a lot of messages to get a nibble, so sending a woman 3 or 4 decent messages only to find that we weren't ever in the hunt is disappointing. (I'm not saying that's what the OP does, for the record.) Surely we can at least entertain the idea that at least one woman on here is self-indulgent and could be held responsible for toying with a man?
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RHP User
15 years ago
I came across a great looker here last week, exchanged a few messages and sure, they didn't get back immediately but eventually established a two way chat, damned if she then didn't give me her number, we chatted on the phone, met for coffee then a great time at her house. That to me is terribly selfish as she didn't give me any opportunity to be rude to her, I had to hold my tongue and then, we had a great time. Just plain selfish and arrogant of her to be so damned nice and pleasant about the whole thing. What's the world coming to when if you show a little patience it all works out for the better. Bloody liberals.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'justjean65'If i as a woman thought even for a second that i was in every guys top 5 that has emailed me at least twice, and then spat the dummy when i didnt get a date or laid by them that week, i would be classed a self centred stuck up bitch lol. It is 100% true, most guys on here are not after baggage, stuck up women and most would appreciate a reply to emails. So i do the right thing, they email nice profile your hot and i reply with a thankyou.A thank you, or a thanks but no thanks? The difference is significant - if you don't knock him back, he'll assume that you want to engage, so may send you something that might have taken him some effort to write. The issue isn't how many messages he sends you, it's how many you send him that gets his expectation up.I don't mean to sound as though I'm having a go at you - it's just that you seem to be suffering from something that other women don't get in the same quantity. The logical place to look for an answer is in how you conduct yourself - it's nothing personal, I assure you. Have fun!
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RHP User
15 years ago
hmm... you can spend ages writing paragraphs about how popular you are and how men are rude and annoying ..zzzzz but your too busy to spend 10 secs clicking a reply that says "thanks your not what iam looking for" when men or couples message you. again ..set the example i say..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'AdventureTime' hmm... you can spend ages writing paragraphs about how popular you are and how men are rude and annoying ..zzzzz but your too busy to spend 10 secs clicking a reply that says "thanks your not what iam looking for" when men or couples message you. again ..set the example i say.. If you read the thread it says i do respond to them. never once have i said i don't respond to people. the problem is when i respond they email back, and then again and when i cant keep up with emails then they throw a hissy fit. And never have i said i'm more popular than others, i don't go having chit chats with other women to find out who gets more emails. i was stating i get alot and assumed so do other women. Hence i wanted to know if other women had come across the same problem. Others in this forum said i was popular by the amount i get, not me. did anyone actually read the topic in context? I'm starting to wonder how it got turned around from me responding to emails and flirts and not being quick enough on follow up replies to i don't reply to people
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'AdventureTime' hmm... you can spend ages writing paragraphs about how popular you are and how men are rude and annoying ..zzzzz but your too busy to spend 10 secs clicking a reply that says "thanks your not what iam looking for" when men or couples message you. again ..set the example i say.. she's talking about people who get impolite when they don't get an answer soon enough. ie BEFORE she's had a chance to decide if she's interested. rudeness is rudeness, no matter what provokes it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'justjean65'If you read the thread it says i do respond to them. never once have i said i don't respond to people. the problem is when i respond they email back, and then again and when i cant keep up with emails then they throw a hissy fit. Unless you intend to go further with them, don't ever respond with anything but a "thanks but no thanks". That should solve your problem.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'justjean65'If you read the thread it says i do respond to them. never once have i said i don't respond to people. the problem is when i respond they email back, and then again and when i cant keep up with emails then they throw a hissy fit. Unless you intend to go further with them, don't ever respond with anything but a "thanks but no thanks". That should solve your problem.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Guess I have been lucky but then again I am a guy,I will say not once have i ever not replied to an email or flirt,not that i get a lot of either but hey thats my situation i guess. Have heard plenty of different comments on this over the time i have been on here but I will say that i have been ignored a lot and would have a list of non replied emails and even unread ones sitting in my out box as long as my arm ! All i would expect is a "thanks but no thanks" at the very least or one of those flirts that says a similar thing. I guess some girls and couples get heaps of mail but i sort of figure surely you could reply to all of them eventually ? Will wait on a comment here i guess.I have emailed plenty of couples or girls that are not suited to me and just left a nice comment about their pic and it has been nice to get a thank you.Zeek
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have the same issue with arrogance... My profile clearly states that i am only looking for a female. But i STILL get males sending me messages saying how awesome they are..and flirts. Im sorry but that is arrogance if they think they are an exception to what i have specified and unfortunately they dont give up either :/
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RHP User
15 years ago
and this has led me to writing in my profile a nasty message to these men... I dont mind getting viewed, but when they think they are all that and want to meet up when i have already said im only looking for women...then i have no other choice than to post that nasty message in hopes that it stops the idiot group of some males who just dont give up when you tell them no.
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RHP User
15 years ago
why would anyone think these things exist here?.......... omg, just read a few forum posts and see the absolute arrogance and self centered points of view that some people have.............the name calling, the insults,the abuse........all here all over..... most of it comes from people who then say 'oh no, i didnt mean it that way'.when we all know they did.....others call it 'self defense' .......from what? then theres the trolls.....who follow you from forum to forum topic, just to bait and goad you into saying something angry or challenging, or even to leave in disgust................but the worst of all are those who flirt and message you, in spite of being so far from what you want, and then get nasty and abusive when you tell them they aren't what you seek, or choose to not respond to because you have 27 others far more worthy to look at...........FFS we thought this was an adult site.... it appears more like a "juvenile-wanting-to-be-an adult site " most days.............
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RHP User
15 years ago
We dont really care if we dont get a responce from a message sent, it just does not matter. Our current thoughts are, it is a advantage not to respond with a no thanks. Because your options are kept open for the future. We are not so set in our ways to believe what we rule out today, we may very much enjoy in the future. Swinging is a journey with no ending we think!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Your use of "indecisive" rather than my preferred "less decisive" is a little unfair, I think. A woman who makes up her mind about a guy after one message is more decisive than a woman who requires two or more messages. Indecisive is an emotive word. Rock and roll on the other hand was a bad choice of words by me - that doesn't mean "have sex with the guy", it means "now that all the dud stuff is out of the way, enjoy reading something more top drawer". A lazy choice of words though.As for the disappointment of others, I do feel that we disagree there. I do think that we should hold ourselves responsible for the way we deal with others. At one end, I feel that acknowledging efforts by sending a "thanks but no thanks" - at the other end, I think we have a responsibility to consider the efforts of the people we're talking to. We men have to send out a lot of messages to get a nibble, so sending a woman 3 or 4 decent messages only to find that we weren't ever in the hunt is disappointing. (I'm not saying that's what the OP does, for the record.) Surely we can at least entertain the idea that at least one woman on here is self-indulgent and could be held responsible for toying with a man? I think in most cases the only 'decisive' answer to a first message is NO. How is that better than engaging in a little get-to-know-you? . Yes it may take a couple more messages to make a 'decision' but if that decision is ultimately "No" that doesn't for one minute mean that the sender was never in the hunt to begin with. Putting in a bit of effort and maybe holding out a bit of hope may lead to disappointment in the end but it's still the sender's decision as to whether or not he's going to be a dick about it if that nibble doesn't end up leading anywhere. . I agree that a politely worded response to a politely worded message is a reasonable expectation but the OPs topic was related to rudeness caused by impatience, not by lack of response or rudeness on her part. I can concede that there are probably some self-indulgent people out there who really do like toying with someone (it's the internet, after all), but it really sounds like you're suggesting that any woman who doesn't say "thanks but no thanks" in the first message then takes on responsibility for the senders feelings if she wants to know more about him but doesn't end up meeting him after a couple of nice messages. No matter how much effort you expend, there are no guarantees. Ever.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Romancefor4' We dont really care if we dont get a responce from a message sent, it just does not matter. Our current thoughts are, it is a advantage not to respond with a no thanks. Because your options are kept open for the future. We are not so set in our ways to believe what we rule out today, we may very much enjoy in the future. Swinging is a journey with no ending we think! Never thought of it that way ! Brilliant ! Love your thinking !!
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Playfullstud
15 years ago
If everyone took the time to respond even with a "thanks but no thanks" the place would be a much happier place to interact.I can not count the amount of thoughtfull messages I have sent to women over the years to receive absolutely nothing in return. We can all see when someone has read our message, so why is it so hard to send a quick message back.If someone came up and spoke to you in a bar, you wouldn't stand there and listen to them for 5 minutes and then give them a blank stare, say nothing and walk off. You'd be called a nutbag or Psycho. The fact is women get way more messages than men 1. There is way more men on the site than available women 2. 95% of women do not even take the time to respond with a no thanks and when a red blooded male sees someone he likes, if he has any testicles will pursue her until he is given the big N O. So a simple click of the mouse on select all to respond and "thanks but no thanks" and your done, and everyone should be a little happier knowing they have been acknowledged. 4. Ignoring someone the first time leads to multiple messages or winks until we get some sort of response. This I know as my friend uses this site and she mentions the same thing, as well as meeting with other users of the site, I know most of the time our messages are overlooked in the massive conglomerate of trash you get in your inbox. So part of the males thought process is I have just been overlooked, ill message again in case she didnt notice mine. In years gone by a man pursuing a woman he had an attraction to was called chivalrous and gentlemanly. Nowadays its called stalking or pestering. 3. The fact that women do not take the time to respond, from personal experience is why you receive the generic Template message, because why should we keep writing messages with personal references to your own Profile, when 95% of the time we get no response. Someone has taken the time to write to you personally, and yes you do get hundreds and hundreds of messages and winks, but as mentioned a quick click of the mouse and you have everyone selected, then go through and unselect the ones you would like to give a genuine reply to based on their age, looks your prerequisites so to speak, then flick all the ones you dont want the quick Thank, but no thanks response. Or similar. This has worked for me for years and hopefully helps othersUnderstandably there are some fruitcakes and hopefull wannabes who are shooting way outside of their league, and rude and defamatory messages do not help theirs or anyone elses cause, but the self sustaining funk that is exacerbated by the fact that noone takes the time anymore, will only endeavour to make it worse and worse, as more and more messages are ignored. Take some time the first time, and you hopefully wont get the next 95 winks and messages from the same guy.Frustrated genuine guy here.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Could it be that these Guys ( and couples) have to PAY to send messages and access various parts of this site and therefore are serious, where Single female guest profiles can get it for free (chat for example). This leads us to question the validity and sincerity of Female guest profiles especially if they are not verified. We've found that most encounters with these profiles are purely for their own ego stroking. This bit will probably be edited out by RHP but as a couple looking for single females we've not had a great deal of luck on the site. We've actually had a better hit rate going to events like Hellfire Club in Sydney- everyone pays to get in and we're all there for sexy fun. Our suggestion to Guest profiles is if you're serious fork over some cash.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well guys in or near Brissie, lets all get along to CI on Saturday for the Toga night and we will see who is serious and who isnt. With bells on thank you
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RHP User
15 years ago
I joined five days ago, and really had no idea how to cull, until now. So, I deleted every one of my messages, and am starting again (I had four pages of them, which is just ridiculous, I don't even have a profile pic up, for that reason). Having said that, I shall be diligent in my responses because it is rude not to reply, but it is also rude to msg someone when you are outside what they are looking for, and expecting them to reply back immediately.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78'I think in most cases the only 'decisive' answer to a first message is NO. How is that better than engaging in a little get-to-know-you? . Yes it may take a couple more messages to make a 'decision' but if that decision is ultimately "No" that doesn't for one minute mean that the sender was never in the hunt to begin with. Putting in a bit of effort and maybe holding out a bit of hope may lead to disappointment in the end but it's still the sender's decision as to whether or not he's going to be a dick about it if that nibble doesn't end up leading anywhere. . I agree that a politely worded response to a politely worded message is a reasonable expectation but the OPs topic was related to rudeness caused by impatience, not by lack of response or rudeness on her part. I can concede that there are probably some self-indulgent people out there who really do like toying with someone (it's the internet, after all), but it really sounds like you're suggesting that any woman who doesn't say "thanks but no thanks" in the first message then takes on responsibility for the senders feelings if she wants to know more about him but doesn't end up meeting him after a couple of nice messages. No matter how much effort you expend, there are no guarantees. Ever. I'm on a bit of a hiding with this topic and was very reluctant to even take it on, but your well-measured responses have been keeping me in it. I actually feel that we're reasonably close to agreement.Getting a "No" from the start isn't the worst answer for a man. There are four possibilities when the Send button gets pressed - in order from worst to best, the message will be:Read but not replied to - Did she not like it? Are we not as suited as I'd thought? Has she not been able to get around to answering? Has she checked out my profile? This is worst-case scenario, as the sender is completely in the dark.Not read - plenty of times this is the case. I don't know if I'm lost in the mailbox, not sure whether to send another in a couple of weeks, etc. Annoying, if I've bothered to put some effort into it, but not uncommon enough to get worked up about.Replied to with a No - I immediately send a "Thanks for taking the time to reply". I also know that she's not interested, so I have no reason to pursue things further. It's disappointing, but the tidiness of the transaction is vaguely satisfying.Replied to without a No - of course, this is what we're all hoping for.The decisiveness of a No is far from the worst answer. I completely agree that there are cases that will fall between No and not-No and that people are entitled to take the time to figure out whether they're interested. I also agree that the sender has to bear full responsibility for their own feelings in this case. We're pretty much on song up to now, right?The crux of the matter for me, is how many of these fringe cases can one justify? If the OP is getting 3-4 unsavoury messages a day from disappointed men and we assume that say, only half of them can be bothered to complain, how many fringe cases is she managing? Is it unfair to suggest that it may be too many? The question that the OP asked was whether other people copped the same thing and I haven't seen a lot of women saying that they have...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Life is short, I can totally understand why women and couples don’t get back to all messages and flirts they receive. Guys should just get over it, as far as im concerned no reply or a negative response makes not difference, the outcome is the same. Leave the beautiful ladies alone guys, im sure they all do there best with what time they have and they don’t deserve any abuse and / or rudeness just because your ego is damaged a little.
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bondage_reality
15 years ago
I saw the tread n thought ....oh ok lets read thisThen I started reading it n saw the essays being written...n just scrolled n looked at the pretty pictures of some of the people on here.Ohhh I must stop now or I will be writing my own essay
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RHP User
15 years ago
I agree totally with comengetsome,and if they do persist ignore them they not worth it anyway....lol though I love the way this thread turned into a bitchfest haha....Oh BTW Justjean I flirted with you 5 mins ago where's my reply??? WTF!!!LOL
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RHP User
15 years ago
Justjean geezus, people should take a chill pill ffs Alot of guys who message me, I take my time in responding particularly if I quite take an interest in them...others who msg or flirt who I am not interested in I quickly reply mmmm thanks but no thanks, worlds colliding and all that stuff. I have often got back to guys and couples who I would like to absorb their profile and really find out what they are seeking before I respond...that's a good thing I promise you. If you get a quick response, I am totally not interested. I like to take the time to respond to the ones I like. Food for thought. If a guy gets all freaken ancy and pesty well shit geez, still take your time. I have a rule of not blocking anyone just encourages angst... Although I did tell a guy the other day, ummmm sorry love thats a cut n paste job and I deserve a more personalised message....he blocked me lol pmsl fark off!!!!! xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
If you want rudeness and arrogance then Forums is the place for you!They've cornered the market here!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well said BlackStilettoes and lol...I'd block you too if I could remember my name...I owe you one ...when is the next night hopefully not so big night out?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' We're pretty much on song up to now, right?The crux of the matter for me, is how many of these fringe cases can one justify? If the OP is getting 3-4 unsavoury messages a day from disappointed men and we assume that say, only half of them can be bothered to complain, how many fringe cases is she managing? Is it unfair to suggest that it may be too many? The question that the OP asked was whether other people copped the same thing and I haven't seen a lot of women saying that they have... I must admit I find it refreshing to have a discussion on a forum that hasn't disintegrated into name calling (I'll have to find someone else and call them a cocksmoker before the universe imbalances and collapses upon itself) and I do think we are on the same page up until that part above. The spot where we go in different directions stems from the OP saying 3-4 messages a day. Now I understood it as 3-4 unsavoury messages from ONE guy in ONE day bleating about how he's not getting a reply. . I've had the same thing happen to me on another site once with a guy (and one day even from a couple!), you get a message and you might read it and have a little think about what you're going to say in return but you don't even get the chance to write a considered reply before you head back to the inbox and it's full of messages from the same person. It starts with "so are you not interested then?" and the next message moves on to "you must not be serious about meeting" and gets more spiteful and ridiculous as you open each subsequent message. . Yes, they're being a dick and yes they're definitely going to get the KA-BLOCK! but it was still unprovoked rudeness/arrogance (ok and maybe a few too many rums or too few valiums) on the part of the sender. Nobody's patience for that kind of crap is infinite, if it happened again I'd probably rant about it too. (or does this count as a rant? surely not, i've barely used any exclamation points...) . Now, if it IS a case of having 3-4 fringe cases on the go at once, well I'm still not seeing a problem there (but i'm not getting a lot of nasty messages from different people so there's that, i guess...) What if one or two or ten of them are very promising and it's just a case of bad timing that they all happened to initiate contact at the same time? If one gets pissy about not getting enough attention then he's out of the running and the ones who CAN control their reactions in a more socially acceptable manner get the reward of 1/10 more attention being given to them. WIN-WIN, right? xx sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
I haven't been into the online thing long, and my experience is around the 5% response rate. I do spend the time to read the profile, do try and write something half decent, and am not rude or crude. I haven't bothered sending a second email, but thought about, then thought what's the point.I'm all grown up and can handle rejection, but silence really isn't fun, and it does make it a little bit harder to maintain the enthusiasm for writing emails of any real content.So in short I agree with Playfullstud.
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RHP User
15 years ago
well as newby here I'm not sure if I'm inspired. Based on sending only a few emails and yes they were polite, I got about a 10% "no thanks" response, 70% read and 20% unread. So I'm debating the effort to reward ratio, not in terms of success, but in terms of bothering to spend time writing a tailored email. I figure if 90% of women don't respond, and then75% are "no thanks" I'm going to have to send a lot of emails out into the void, maybe I should shout out my profile while standing in Fed Square?
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rupamohan
15 years ago
We believe courtesy is a privilege not a right. We all have some difference in what to expect and what to deliver. -We believe no initial reply is not being rude. Though it is bit upsetting at times when we have high expectation. -We also believe it is bit rude to try to read PPL's mind and guess reason for no reply. It is OK to wonder.. -We also believe it is bit rude to be in contact nd then stop responding all of a sudden without making your situation a bit clear..one can simply say, not interested any more...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' I must admit I find it refreshing to have a discussion on a forum that hasn't disintegrated into name calling (I'll have to find someone else and call them a cocksmoker before the universe imbalances and collapses upon itself) and I do think we are on the same page up until that part above. The spot where we go in different directions stems from the OP saying 3-4 messages a day. Now I understood it as 3-4 unsavoury messages from ONE guy in ONE day bleating about how he's not getting a reply. . .... Now, if it IS a case of having 3-4 fringe cases on the go at once, well I'm still not seeing a problem there (but i'm not getting a lot of nasty messages from different people so there's that, i guess...) What if one or two or ten of them are very promising and it's just a case of bad timing that they all happened to initiate contact at the same time? If one gets pissy about not getting enough attention then he's out of the running and the ones who CAN control their reactions in a more socially acceptable manner get the reward of 1/10 more attention being given to them. WIN-WIN, right? Ah, I read it as 3-4 guys each sending a message saying the same sort of thing. If it's the case of one guy sending 3-4 then I completely agree with you - he's a loon and shouldn't be tolerated.I suppose some of the reason that we don't see entirely eye to eye on having too many fringe cases on the go at once is that from my own experience, that doesn't happen. If I'm talking with two or three women at a time, I'm pretty happy with the way things are going - ten is simply inconceivable. Given the numbers here and the direction of flow of messages, I'd suggest that this may be the case for many men. If my perceptions of life on the other side are incorrect, I'm happy to put my hand up as being wrong.Like you, I'm really happy with the way this thread has gone. It would have been easy for anyone to have cast me as the defenders of the dickheads, but nothing could be further from the truth. I always send personalised messages, don't use templates or serial-message women. I appreciate your patience and admire your desire for meaningful discussion. Well done!Two "Posting Failed" messages - apologies if this comes through more than once.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Lot of good points raised here, all I can say is, it's good to be a girl. I don't doubt that virtually any female here would have 100's of requests ranging from polite to insane in a week, as opposed to guys ( speaking for myself here) who can count the interactions with my left hand. I can understand where the frustration comes from when waiting for replies but as people have said, it's no excuse.
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RHP User
15 years ago
WTF Broncos87? Yeah....its awesome being all grown up and still being referred to by the sexually immature term of 'girl', because objectification and disparity in pay is sooooo my cup of tea. Not to mention having to tolerate sleazy overtures and when I reject them, all of a sudden I'm a slut? Cause I didn't put out.......ummmmm. And apparently sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Pfft Perhaps fellas who don't like being disappointed should be a little more realistic. If you msg me and you obviously haven't read my profile and its all suck this and fuck that, there's only one thing you will be fucking, and thats yourself. Capiche? Ye this may be a sex site, but why does that have to mean precluding basic manners?
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RHP User
15 years ago
You are an extremely attractive woman on a site largely overrun with horny men. I dont think I have ever had an email here, and only even bother coming here for the forums now. Unfortunately the internet allows people to act how they want without fear of real world repurcussions, and no matter what anyone says, these sites are full of lonely, desperate, weird and frustrated people which makes it almost impossible to find the great ones. The ones who reply with insults are the ones who would not even approach you in the real world.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Do any of you use auto reply. It might be worth stating in there that your hardly here, don't need to keep sending messages or flirts or even abusive messages as you will get back to them as soon as you can. Just a thought.
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RHP User
15 years ago
it's all 'boys' and 'girls' for me, no matter how old we are. it's a state of mind.
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RHP User
15 years ago
wow, my bad LilDevLish, to me girl is just a word, the majority of females I talk to in my age group would look at me weird if I referred to them as a woman. For me it's just a habit thing, it has no negative connotations despite the fact it seems to have cut you deeply. I guess I should be more careful when posting my opinion... or send you a draft first.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Snowshoe everytime I come to the forums its just pages and pages of your ramblings, fair enough have your say but jeeez no one wants to see the same person hogging half of the forums, put a sock in it for a bit hun :-p
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RHP User
15 years ago
we have found that in many cases its the younger ones who are the rudest and most arrogant..... its a shame really that most are not equipped to interact with 'adults' of our age. its not really appropriate to drop into name calling and foul language when you dont get your way, or to hurl insult and rude comments if you disagree on a forum posting. we don't accept this behavior at any time, and certainly not here at what is supposed to be an 'adult' site catering for play , not some insult site aimed at confrontation etc.. people should read profiles and really give proper consideration as to whether they are whats being looked for..... we have asked for 35 plus but get 100 flirts or messages a week from 20 somethings...... and ask for locals but get guys from all over the country...and state Saturday evening are best, but get asked over and over if Tuesday lunchtime or similar is OK............but hey, if we say 'no' or that they don't suit, apparently we are scum, or worse...whats with this?? we try and answer those who have at least appeared as though they have read our profile properly, but for those who send us flirt after flirt and a dozen messages even though we said a polite 'no thanks' right at first contact...........you will only ever get a rude and eventually nasty reply from us.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Broncos87' wow, my bad LilDevLish, to me girl is just a word, the majority of females I talk to in my age group would look at me weird if I referred to them as a woman. For me it's just a habit thing, it has no negative connotations despite the fact it seems to have cut you deeply. I guess I should be more careful when posting my opinion... or send you a draft first. hehe.... brilliantly grovelled. I called this bloke "boy" once... holy shit did that cause a problem... I mean, I had absolutely no sensitivity to the connotations put on that word by people from South Carolina or sommat.... boy oh boy I had to bring out the fast talk to turn that one around.HUgsS
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Broncos87'Lot of good points raised here, all I can say is, it's good to be a girl. I don't doubt that virtually any female here would have 100's of requests ranging from polite to insane in a week, as opposed to guys ( speaking for myself here) who can count the interactions with my left hand. I can understand where the frustration comes from when waiting for replies but as people have said, it's no excuse. bronco's what are you saying that only gets a handful of replies back? Sorry to hear of your lack of responses, i would probably be frustrated if i was you. Now there are two sides to this forum, those who stated guys should be patient and there is no excuse for any abuse, others have stated i should have no excuse for not replying back asap. So to put things into prospective and no i am not big noting myself in any way but it will give people a better understanding of how it is IMPOSSIBLE to reply to everyone in a timely manner. I have been here a little over a month and in that time i have received 2213 emails, sent 1250 now they are not all oh thanks and tell me more replies, alot are simple courtesy thankyou emails, or a no thanks or would you like to chat. Considering i actually end up chatting with only a handful of guys on a regular basis, i have obviously not led all those emails on lol. Everyone has said they would like a reply of some sort back so yes that is what i do, reply as much as i can. They took the time to email me, a courtesy one back is the least i can do. as for my flirts ok i do lag on those, 2057 flirts and i've only sent 34. Why because with 2000 odd emails im lucky if i can even make it to my flirts page hence i have an auto reply that states, im busy lol. So if people have sent flirts and got annoyed at me, understandable. As i stated right at the beginning, i do try my best to respond as quick as i can, but i do have other things to do other than sitting here all day emailing people. And nor can i possibly meet even 1/3rd of the people who email me. And i can tell you out of all the people who contact me, i am not going to rush and just go yep you sound perfect because quite simply..there are so many guys on rhp i can afford to be fussy and take my time to find who i think is the best for me. But as most agree they would like a response, i think i have done pretty good so far..hence i started the topic on why the abuse from guys. I would love to see the guys around here sitting in a womans position, because then it would have been a guy who started this forum, not me lol. And guys don't normally type as fast as women so would love to see you men keep up lol. The only thing i have gathered from this forum is...you cant win. You email back and then apparently your talking to too many guys leading them on, or if you dont reply it's rude lol.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'hellokitty777' Snowshoe everytime I come to the forums its just pages and pages of your ramblings, fair enough have your say but jeeez no one wants to see the same person hogging half of the forums, put a sock in it for a bit hun :-p Put a what where?Apologies for... taking up so many of your valuable pixels.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I know what it feels like to get ignored, i am gay and yeah looking for some nice guys to hang out with, but always find the good looking/althetic dont want anything to do with me. I am nice looking but not a model, i agree i think take the time to be honest if your not interested then say so, I always let people know if they are not my type just being ignored if frustrating and sometimes hurtful. Being rejected is part of life but doesnt have to mean being totally ignored
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RHP User
15 years ago
Settle.....I do have the capacity to be awfully droll when it comes to how we use language. Yes, I am a grammar nazi. But in particular, as language is the chief instrument of thought, the character of a person's mind can be judged from his or her use of language. I was perplexed to read that Bronco87's perception is that he would get weird looks from the majority of females if he used the term woman. I beg to differ. I think it may possibly come down to the calibre of female you are associating with - are you hanging around school girls love? There in that way danger lies....... As for cut me deeply......ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Only someone of juvenile years would surmise my response as a deep cut. And LMAO at Stalky.....seriously, you used the word 'boy' in the Deep South. Are you a frickin lunatic? May as well start shouting out the 'N' word in Crenshaw while you're at it. To get back on topic, I certainly would not reply to any messages that infantilised me. I am a woman. Not a girl.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'justjean65'But as most agree they would like a response, i think i have done pretty good so far..hence i started the topic on why the abuse from guys. I would love to see the guys around here sitting in a womans position, because then it would have been a guy who started this forum, not me lol. And guys don't normally type as fast as women so would love to see you men keep up lol. The only thing i have gathered from this forum is...you cant win. You email back and then apparently your talking to too many guys leading them on, or if you dont reply it's rude lol. Based on your numbers, I certainly understand why it's such a load. As you're reasonably new, maybe you're on a "Suggested New Members" list, contributing to your problems - perhaps it'll settle down over time. For the record, I didn't mean to say that you were leading men on - you asked a question and I was looking for a reasonable and logical answer.Switch places so that I was getting 2000 messages a month from women who wanted sex with me? I'd wear a lot of abuse for that...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'justjean65'But as most agree they would like a response, i think i have done pretty good so far..hence i started the topic on why the abuse from guys. I would love to see the guys around here sitting in a womans position, because then it would have been a guy who started this forum, not me lol. And guys don't normally type as fast as women so would love to see you men keep up lol. The only thing i have gathered from this forum is...you cant win. You email back and then apparently your talking to too many guys leading them on, or if you dont reply it's rude lol. Based on your numbers, I certainly understand why it's such a load. As you're reasonably new, maybe you're on a "Suggested New Members" list, contributing to your problems - perhaps it'll settle down over time. For the record, I didn't mean to say that you were leading men on - you asked a question and I was looking for a reasonable and logical answer.Switch places so that I was getting 2000 messages a month from women who wanted sex with me? I'd wear a lot of abuse for that...
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RHP User
15 years ago
That's the evolution of the online dating male. . They join sites like this one full of hope, fuelled by the lure of "Thousands of women online now waiting to talk to you" and "Get laid tonight in your area". A quick bit of profile builder later (with the personalised "I love going down for hours" and promises to rock your world) and they are off into the world of RHP, with no warning given to the unsuspecting women and couples out there. Flirts are free for guests so those are fired of at anything and everything. No response? Send another one... and another. . If they don't give up after a week of this behaviour with no responses then that's where the smarter, more desperate ones evolve. They pony up for membership. Now messages are used instead of flirts but with the same limited content and often consisting of only two words, "Wanna fuk?". Unfortunately some people take no heed of the warning signs posted in the forums and encourage these less evolved creatures because they look nice or perhaps cute. Others encourage them due to being facinated by physical abnormalities that some may posess. Those that receive encouragement have no need to evolve and as such will continue with what works for them. Unfortunately some of them will find their most creative two or three word message rebuffed and upon being rejected they lash out in a juvinile tanty. Others simply refuse to accept that anyone can resist their... um... "charms" and proceed to send message after message, saying "You know you want it and you won't regret it". . Now the next stage of evolution occurs around about here, earlier for some and later for others, with a large number never reaching this enlightened state. For those who advance, the growth rate seen in the size of vocabularies and the advancements in proper grammatical structure are astounding. Some of these creatures can actually become interesting, considerate and respectful. . Alas there are still a few who, despite advancing to this stage, simply have no idea of civilised communication and behaviour. These few, emboldened by the anonymity of the internet, will allow the penises that grow upon their foreheads to dictate their actions. Despite making many advances these "dickheads" still have thought processes that never really evolved from the original creature who first signed up. . As for how to deal with or prevent such creatures interacting with those more highly evolved? That, at the moment is entirely up to the individual. There are many tools and options available to help one dismiss such throwbacks but as for stopping them all together, well we can only dream. . Unfortunately it's an ongoing process where the ones that fall by the wayside are replaced by newcomers, often not unlike the mythical Hydra. . Not much help here I'm sorry but maybe we could get David Attenborough to look into this remarkable story of hope, desperation and intelligence. . Cheers Rusty
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Broncos87' wow, my bad LilDevLish, to me girl is just a word, the majority of females I talk to in my age group would look at me weird if I referred to them as a woman. For me it's just a habit thing, it has no negative connotations despite the fact it seems to have cut you deeply. I guess I should be more careful when posting my opinion... or send you a draft first. hey dont fret it mate... i call my 49 year old wife 'girl' and 'baby'. .........and any 'woman' younger than us is automatically 'girl' regardless of how arrogant or rude they are...........
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RHP User
15 years ago
Interesting read this one, JJ...started out just talking about your thoughts on rude and/or arrogant people and seems like you have been given advice from the podiums of a few that have put themselves there and then been Judged by Judy...(I know, but half of us on here don't use our real names until we get to know someone) so how about a very simple solution? | Do it your way. | This place is supposed to be fun and is, if you let it. I will save my armchair analysis of how you are "supposed to" do it when I actually watch you.....do it. Personally, I don't care if I get a response to anything I send out and eventually you figure out you really only care about the ones that say "yes". | Now that said...I have had some very fun and funny chats with a few of the delightful ladies who have said "no...but I like the way you asked" and that's fun too. Thanks for that...you know who you are. | Other than that...only pay the debts you owe and don't let anyone write your biography for you. I have enjoyed sharing a bit of the real version of the story and in the end... | ...that's all that matters.
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RHP User
15 years ago
i guess the internet can bring out the true character in some people.if you are going to act silly behind a keyboard - there is no point meeting you in real life!never take offence by this stuff - it's their loss, not yours! :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'mrboom68'Well said BlackStilettoes and lol...I'd block you too if I could remember my name...I owe you one ...when is the next night hopefully not so big night out? lawl mrboom68, If you send a cut n paste I may consider the autodelete button lawl...The next night is in Melbourne, drinks night 9th April woot woot, I thought I sent you a message about that perhaps not, my bad! Careful blackstilettoes you may get blocked....... Fantastic to read what alot of men and boys well all males have written geezus I have learned alot.. Great post xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have no issue with people who don't reply to unsolicited flirts & emails, after all while I will reply to most people (who send an email), even if only to politely thank them for the message but let them know they're not quite what I'm looking for, BUT what I don't get is the people who initiate messages/flirts and when you reply they don't respond. That's not just rude it's stupid.As I say if someone chooses not to reply that's fine, as I won't reply to people who obviously haven't read my profile, or are quite frankly just not vaguely attractive or "in my league". I mean some of them "you can't be serious".Plus if you can't be bothered writing more than 3 words, 2 of which are spelt incorrectly...forget it. I can go to any bar & pick up, I'm seeking something more than just average thanks very much.And don't get me started on people with nothing written or just the profile builder thing! Hello!?!? Get a personality FFS!Over the years I've met heaps of great people via Pie, but probably the rudest & stupidest people I've ever encountered was just recently:- They sent me a flirt (so they're too cheap to pay for membership first off!)- I replied with an email- They want to see my PG before they show me theirs (fine, whatever)- They want to meet up (fine)- Oh, bye the way, we're not actually in Melbourne like our profile says, we're 3 hours drive away...- AND we don't travel so you have to come to us...- AND we don't host so we need a hotel...- AND YOU have to pay...Hello?!?! How selfish & only concerned with your needs are you? So I politely say I think all of the above is a bit rich, and get a huge pile of abuse back...My reply was "fuck off". Blocked.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'LilDevLish' Settle.....I do have the capacity to be awfully droll when it comes to how we use language. Yes, I am a grammar nazi. But in particular, as language is the chief instrument of thought, the character of a person's mind can be judged from his or her use of language. I was perplexed to read that Bronco87's perception is that he would get weird looks from the majority of females if he used the term woman. I beg to differ. I think it may possibly come down to the calibre of female you are associating with - are you hanging around school girls love? There in that way danger lies....... As for cut me deeply......ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Only someone of juvenile years would surmise my response as a deep cut. And LMAO at Stalky.....seriously, you used the word 'boy' in the Deep South. Are you a frickin lunatic? May as well start shouting out the 'N' word in Crenshaw while you're at it. To get back on topic, I certainly would not reply to any messages that infantilised me. I am a woman. Not a girl. I think this forum might be a little too full on for me. My first post on RHP in which I said nothing negative or offensive leads to my apparent immaturity because some women don't enjoy being referred to as "girls". As for me hanging around school girls, I don't. Would be great if I did, but I just don't. If I was recounting a night out with my mates and said I met a woman at the bar they would automatically assume she was 30+ because like it or not LilDevLish, girls in my age bracket aren't referred to as woman by the majority of people. Also that being said I don't think that 23 years old is juvenile, I'm definitely getting too old for clubbing as it is, I guess your extra 10 years has given you the wisdom to badger younger people
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RHP User
15 years ago
To be mature and intellectual for a moment, I think most of us would agree that this country, like many others, has significant gender equality issues. You just need to look at average salary statistics and flexitime options.But lets not bring that into this forum. This is one of those wonderful places where men and women can spar fairly and with no holds barred! Let's not politicize it!OK, so to get onto lighter topics, who is hooking up this weekend? I'm working so no fun for me.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Broncos87' My first post on RHP in which I said nothing negative or offensive leads to my apparent immaturity because some women don't enjoy being referred to as "girls". As for me hanging around school girls, I don't. Would be great if I did, but I just don't. If I was recounting a night out with my mates and said I met a woman at the bar they would automatically assume she was 30+ because like it or not LilDevLish, girls in my age bracket aren't referred to as woman by the majority of people. Also that being said I don't think that 23 years old is juvenile, I'm definitely getting too old for clubbing as it is, I guess your extra 10 years has given you the wisdom to badger younger people Maybe i am wrong also then. Because i always say "I am going to hang with the girls", if i am talking about my younger friends, even those aged in their 30's I don't think i have ever said i am going to hang with the women/ladies. But if i was talking about meeting one person i would say, i'm going to meet up with a lady. I totally get what your talking about Broncos. To me younger guys always say girls and older men call us women or ladies. People can call me whatever suits their age bracket or they feel comfortable with, it's really not worth fussing over. Someone saying hey girl to me is not offensive at all, infact i may even take it as a compliment lol.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'GuyLondon34'To be mature and intellectual for a moment, I think most of us would agree that this country, like many others, has significant gender equality issues. You just need to look at average salary statistics and flexitime options. I also don't think that making snarky assumptions about someone's character and disparaging every female they know based on the use of an inoffensive word is going to go a long way toward fixing any of those issues. . Broncos87, don't let one person's 'hot button' issue drive you away. there are a lot of fun topics and lovely people to be found on the forums. Skip around the soapboxes of the preachy judgy types and enjoy. xx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
@ justjean65 and curiousnewgirl78I guess it's just the internet, there will always be people who don't see eye to eye, either way thanks for the lively discussion and inputs. It definitely helps a new-comer to be aware of the other side of the fence and that no responses aren't always the cold shoulder.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'LilDevLish' WTF Broncos87? Yeah....its awesome being all grown up and still being referred to by the sexually immature term of 'girl', because objectification and disparity in pay is sooooo my cup of tea. Not to mention having to tolerate sleazy overtures and when I reject them, all of a sudden I'm a slut? Cause I didn't put out.......ummmmm. And apparently sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Pfft Perhaps fellas who don't like being disappointed should be a little more realistic. If you msg me and you obviously haven't read my profile and its all suck this and fuck that, there's only one thing you will be fucking, and thats yourself. Capiche? Ye this may be a sex site, but why does that have to mean precluding basic manners? WTF lilddevlish are you serious ?? Your not a girl, your a baby, get off your high horse. Oh, and how dare you refer to men as “fellas” we should all be called “gentlemen” lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Broncos87' Quoting 'LilDevLish' Settle.....I do have the capacity to be awfully droll when it comes to how we use language. Yes, I am a grammar nazi. But in particular, as language is the chief instrument of thought, the character of a person's mind can be judged from his or her use of language. I was perplexed to read that Bronco87's perception is that he would get weird looks from the majority of females if he used the term woman. I beg to differ. I think it may possibly come down to the calibre of female you are associating with - are you hanging around school girls love? There in that way danger lies....... As for cut me deeply......ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Only someone of juvenile years would surmise my response as a deep cut. And LMAO at Stalky.....seriously, you used the word 'boy' in the Deep South. Are you a frickin lunatic? May as well start shouting out the 'N' word in Crenshaw while you're at it. To get back on topic, I certainly would not reply to any messages that infantilised me. I am a woman. Not a girl. I think this forum might be a little too full on for me. My first post on RHP in which I said nothing negative or offensive leads to my apparent immaturity because some women don't enjoy being referred to as "girls". As for me hanging around school girls, I don't. Would be great if I did, but I just don't. If I was recounting a night out with my mates and said I met a woman at the bar they would automatically assume she was 30+ because like it or not LilDevLish, girls in my age bracket aren't referred to as woman by the majority of people. Also that being said I don't think that 23 years old is juvenile, I'm definitely getting too old for clubbing as it is, I guess your extra 10 years has given you the wisdom to badger younger people I don't think you said anything wrong or disrespectful at all! I think you are owed an apology by LilDev...what she said was uncalled for! Gee, I am with JJ on this one...I always say I'm going out with "the girls" and I am talking about women that are 30+ too. I wouldn't let one bad tempered person chase you off the Forums. And to be honest, I doubt it that the wisdom gets them to badger younger people....just younger guys! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't understand about these messages that you get, I never get abused...even when I tell them or send them a "Quick Reply" that they don't match what I'm looking for. I actually get alot of return emails thanking me for even replying at all! < If I get the complimentary messages where the guy tells me that he loves my pics and profile...I always send them a thank you in return...but at the end of my thank you, I wish them well in their search! Maybe that is the difference...by wishing them well...they know that I am not interested in taking it further with them. < As for Flirts...I only reply to the ones that ask me to message them or they ask if they message me would I reply. I don't answer to the "I just want to say that I love your profile" as I don't find an appropriate response to that and if they send me a Flirt that says "Damn, you sure are hot what do you think of me" as I figure that they rated my profile and it is an automatically sent Flirt! < I have a system for my messages. If I am not interested at all...I reply straight away...even if I hit the "Quick Reply" it will automatically reply to them and then shuts the message down. If I am sitting on the fence it will take me longer to reply and I wait until I get some good free quiet time to sit and really study their profiles or I let them know that I am sitting on the fence and ask them anything I want to know. If it is just friendly chat...that takes me longer to answer as well...that is all it is...friendly chat. If I am interested though, I will let them know ASAP...after all...I don't like playing games and if he catches my eye...then I will let him know there and then! If it is a 2 worded message I get like "What's up" or "Hi"..then I let them know that the message really has no reply and that they should make the message longer if they want girls to reply! (Dang, I used the dreaded "GIRLS" word lol....goes and sits on the Naughty Couch with Broncos)! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' I don't understand about these messages that you get, I never get abused...even when I tell them or send them a "Quick Reply" that they don't match what I'm looking for. I actually get alot of return emails thanking me for even replying at all! < If I get the complimentary messages where the guy tells me that he loves my pics and profile...I always send them a thank you in return...but at the end of my thank you, I wish them well in their search! Maybe that is the difference...by wishing them well...they know that I am not interested in taking it further with them.Perfect! As OP is relatively new to RHP, this is exactly the sort of practical advice that may help her out. Despite my apparently looking like Judge Judy and making posts that contained too many words, that's the sort of thing I was getting at too. From my perspective, your approach is ideal. Perhaps it will hold more water coming from a woman... sadly.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'MrnMrsVI'Could it be that these Guys ( and couples) have to PAY to send messages and access various parts of this site and therefore are serious, where Single female guest profiles can get it for free (chat for example). This leads us to question the validity and sincerity of Female guest profiles especially if they are not verified. hi all, i'm only new here and am still "feeling" my way around this site. Whilst there are good arguments on both sides of this coin, i believe that it all comes down to common courtesy from both the sender and reciever...The fact that there is a price to pay ( not only monetary), for the privilige to make meaningful contact between members, there is an expectation that an effort will be made to acknowledge the sender's request for contact.However,That does not excuse or give the anyone the right for abusive behaviour.
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RHP User
15 years ago
we cant count the number of times we've been abused for 'daring' to say no. some of the single guys and even couples have behaved like absolute pigs in their responses, or flooded us with flirts to the point of being far more than just a simple nuisance. people need to grow up and behave like adults. no is no, and always will be, just as too young is too young or too old is etc.........we are here to satisfy fantasy, not indulge in sex with those we find less than attractive or desirable....so...if you cant read our profile properly, we wont respond to you......
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RHP User
15 years ago
Open forums with little or no mediation are prone to becoming off point and deteriorating into name calling and pettiness. I may have been a little off base for posting such a vociferous reply, but I will not apologise for indicating that I do not like being infantilised. Perhaps only those who like being called "girl" should have been responding to this forum, although I seemed to have missed that in the fine print, and have been defamed and villified because of it. Thats quite alright though, my mother taught me to never argue with idiots. Back to the point - I am still in total agreement with JustJean. There is no possible way I could respond to all contacts I am sent, and attempting to do so would result in me avoiding this site in its entirety. Which makes the entire communication process redundant. The only thing to do really, if you like the man or woman, is persist. Be patient. And use respectful language. If they're worth it, they're worth the wait.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Well, I can only assume that there are some people who are similar to me in this respect.... the problem is that I'm moody. I mean, sometimes I feel like responding and sometimes I feel it would be more appropriate that I wait to reply when I am in a better frame of mind... I mean to say a pleasant message requires a pleasant reply and I need to be pre-disposed to deliver it. Sorry to say, that's how it is. If I've delayed or not responded to you, that's probably the reason.Having rationalised my own behaviour how can I rationally take offence if someone does the same to me?HugsStalky I agree with you Stalky..........with all that goes on in our busy lives, responding straight away is often not possible. I usually wait until I am in the right mood to write a message. I don't always feel like it. We also have had our share of "please message me i'm interested but only a guest" So you message them and they never reply. No issue with rejection..... just give us direct n honest answer! We understanding that not everyone is right for everyone but WE TRY to say no thanks to all those we dont want to pursue contact wth. Sometimes I (the female) am a bit slack n forgetful
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