F106
Rejection
February 08 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think the nicest way to reject me is with a sympathy root.... I mean... after all those nice letters and stuff its the least you can do. :pI understand the ignore technique... it's because you want to be nice about it but haven't got a clue where to start. I know Ive avoided writing before, just because I wanted to find the right words to say what I am feeling.... and that's not ever easy... least of all when you feel you do not want to make anyone feel rejected. In business we reject people's advances all the time.. we have to, otherwise we would have an office filled with ink refills, refrigerated water dispensers and new phone contracts, and not be in business for very long. But private is private.... it comes down to this... how nice can you afford to be with your time when someone cold calls you for a root?HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
if you say Next or Sorry not interested . You feel better and they atleast know Easy Done. I look forward to my Next Message
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have a template that thanks them for their email, states I am not interested and wishes them fun adventures on RHP
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RHP User
15 years ago
This is my rejection letter if I don't want to meet them or have sex with them: Hi (Name). Thanks for your message. I'm sorry but you're not what I'm looking for. Good luck in your search and enjoy xo < If they don't match what I'm looking for, this is my reply: Hi (Name). Thanks for your message. I'm sorry but you don't match what I'm looking for. Good luck in your search and enjoy xo. < I get the nicest replies back thanking me for taking the time to answer their message. xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Oh great! Sample template letters. I think Jeanza was interested in that idea.... here's one I've drafted recently.. "This is not in any way meant to be a criticism.... but you've been wearing those panties around the forum for many weeks now irresponsibility..... (and this is the part I need help with ... should I just blurt it out.. or should I try to be very clever about it)... Can I take them off you?Hugs etc "I mean... how would you reject me .... nicely?HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
am confused now.... . On topic though . I always thank the person for their message..explain that they are not what I am looking for (and usually state reasons as to why) and wish them luck in their search . See I can be a nice kind of girl (sometimes) though I have been known to be a bitch to repeat offenders..those serial message people who dont take no for an answer . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Set up a template with something generic, it makes it less painful to have to decline people who seem nice. . Thank them for the message, politely but CLEARLY decline, i.e. not what i'm looking for right now, sorry I'm looking for something else, etc. I usually don't go into detail because i wouldn't want them to get self-conscious over something that doesn't suit me when it may very well be exactly what someone else is looking for, and wish them well in their search. . Most of the time I've had nice replies thanking me for taking the time to respond, never gotten anything nasty (on this site anyway) . Sarah xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Set up a template with something generic, it makes it less painful to have to decline people who seem nice. . Thank them for the message, politely but CLEARLY decline, i.e. not what i'm looking for right now, sorry I'm looking for something else, etc. I usually don't go into detail because i wouldn't want them to get self-conscious over something that doesn't suit me when it may very well be exactly what someone else is looking for, and wish them well in their search. . Most of the time I've had nice replies thanking me for taking the time to respond, never gotten anything nasty (on this site anyway) . Sarah xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Dont respond is not a bad option: As you dont close the door and your criteria might change in the future. You can blame the computer never recieved your message / wink, otherwise I would have. Reject them: They will remember, and you have shut the door for good?. And you will get an answer like: Good Luck in your search or Your Loss Not Ours! or like today "they blocked us"
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RHP User
15 years ago
And I mean I have been rejected by most ....Venus, no one likes being rejected and this sandpit seems to have some with ego's that would rival a fighter pilot (and evidently no working mirrors to use). Just be polite, be firm, and be brief. If you waffle or give a variety of excuses, that just opens the door for them to reply back trying to justify something. Make a template, and stick with it. If the rejectee writes back, no need to read it, they know where they stand although their msg could just be a thank you. And for that small minority that can't handle a rejection and have to send an abusive reply, just block and sit back knowing you just dodge a bullet!!!Mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
is that I have tried the genric thing and have often got the usual 'oh but I am such a nice guy (or girl)/we are a lovely couple/ if you just got to know me/us better i/we could change your mind...or the classic - but I match everything you are looking for so why not???? . by being specific there is no wheedling aorund the facts and if they tell me Oh I/we only say that because...thats says to me they are bullshitting about things and I clearly state honesty upfront...weeds out the idiots and time wasters - well some of them . While I admit I have had some harsh responses to my rejection letters I figure they are the ones as Mooka states that I have dodged a bullet on...most of the time I get a thanks for being so honest and if your circumstances change please look me up . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Oh great! Sample template letters. I think Jeanza was interested in that idea.... here's one I've drafted recently.. "This is not in any way meant to be a criticism.... but you've been wearing those panties around the forum for many weeks now irresponsibility..... (and this is the part I need help with ... should I just blurt it out.. or should I try to be very clever about it)... Can I take them off you?Hugs etc "I mean... how would you reject me .... nicely?HugsStalkyJuust for you I'll go put on another pair... xox
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RHP User
15 years ago
If we have met the person - we use the 'sorry but we did not feel a connection' type of line and wish the person well with their search.If we get a pleasant message, we will always try to reply (admittedly, sometimes we are slow to reply) and we will always try to be courteous and respectful, as the message receives has shown us that respect. Generally we will use something thanking the person for the message as we (genuinely) do appreciate all approaches, but we will go a=on and explain why they may not fit our criteria or what we seek at that time.A pleasant message should always get a pleasant reply, and at times we have received some very well thought replies to our rejections as well.Shebagaz
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RHP User
15 years ago
Interesting that you would take time to ask…and having read your profile and all of the info under the tabs, I have no doubt that you would think the male/female ratio here would be close to 1000:1 It’s not…it’s really one 500:1 but would bet that you have trouble reading the messages faster than they are coming in. I did have to laugh a bit about the “geek” part…if that’s the case, pass me a pair of black horn-rimmed glasses and a pocket protector. Hey…if we end up sharing pens, it’s best not to get any ink stains on your shirt that you can’t get out later, right? | Ignoring notes you receive is not always a bad thing…but you might start getting serial offenders that you will eventually have to either say no to or simply block, which settles the issue once and for all. It is nicer I guess to get a polite “no thanks” if you feel compelled to do so…but what if you put a positive spin on it? There are only three answers to any question….yes, maybe and no, so here is a thought. | There will be messages with content alone that is awful…and that would get a template “Read your note, thank but not interested”. Done…by now you must know the kind, suggestions of how hot they are, what they want to do to you and misspelling everything. That’s a bit curious…if you can’t spell it, how in the hell are you going to do it? And too…like you said, I hate text speak either in a message or on the phone in SMS. “U R Hot BB” is a very lame substitute for “I find you very attractive and would like to know more”. Nuke them…but unfortunately the radiation only seems to make them grow exponentially. | The next, you might have a cursory look at the profile and if there is nothing there that interests you sexually or personally …and you are dead on sure of it, then a “Thanks, read your profile and you are not what I am looking for” should be enough. | Now the hard part…the “maybe” list. It is sometimes hard to tell at first glance on some of these, male or female, if they are interesting or would be a good sexual match. I have learned that my libido has often been in overdrive and once I either send a note or two back and forth…or observe them here say in the forums, my opinion changes and will reverse the decision of either a yes or a no. Your profile does seem like you are a bit of adventurer and a thrill seeker so these may turn out to be the ones that you really like once you get to know them…so maybe a “Read your profile and would like to add you to my friends list and/or can I you get back to me in a couple of weeks”. Nice, not closing the door and gives you time to see if a 3 becomes a 9 or maybe a 9 becomes a 2. It happens on both sides of the street….but that’s part of the fun. Sometimes it’s hard to capture the essence of anyone in a few words (as you can see, not an issue I have) or a few pictures. | The last category…bingo. I doubt you need a bit of help with that but since there were a few pretty blatant shots taken already…try this? “Hi Chasing Midnight…I enjoyed your note and liked what you have in your profile, especially the sexual preferences and that little bit of kink that’s there. Do you happen to wear thick glasses and have a pocket protector? A girl can’t be too careful when studying science or sex…and while I like getting messy and my hands dirty, I don’t like getting the stains off later. Would you like to talk on the phone tomorrow?” | See…too easy, huh? And no typos, not a single bad note out of key. Music too by the way, has been a huge part of my life as have study and sex. Just thought I would throw that in… |…I don’t like rejection either.
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RHP User
15 years ago
If the message is nice so is my reply. The "Lets fuck baby" messages get simply told "No". Abusive messages get reported and blocked. Most guys would rather get a "thanks but no thanks and good luck" type of message than nothing at all.
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RHP User
15 years ago
The sorts of responses listed earlier are fine. I wouldn't be hurt by them and I'd definitely get the message. Not that it'd be easy to hurt me in this sort of situation. I only really get hurt by rejection when I've got a lot invested. If I've just sent a message or met up for coffee and it hasn't worked out, that's really not going to cause me much grief. So go for it, ladies, all guns blazing! :P . I'd really like to say that ignoring is not the best way to go about it. Ignoring isn't saying "no", it's saying nothing at all. It can even send the message: "try harder". Or at least it can to me. :S So, take a moment to be clear, use a template, whatever. But ignoring is neither nice nor helpful.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Now you only need mirrors to see how good you look and what good are they in a fighter jet anyway we have cameras for that kinda shit Mooka ! Brae .............. just getting my wings back on the ground !
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RHP User
15 years ago
Now I admit we have been incredably lucky on RHP. We get rejected very few times. Why ? I think comes down to miss sarah delightful arse ......... and my inability to look in mirrors! The other day we got REJECTED ..................faaaaaaaaaaark me ! It wasnt the rejection it was the complete rudeness of it ! Went on like a 17 year old and then when we apologised.....they did it again .............. Is it that hard to say thanks but no thanks ? SO it became very clear to us what all this fuss was about. Lets all be nice. I agree with the above, a thanks but no thanks is sufficent not a tirad of trollop juice ! Now off you all go, hug each other (poke if you will) hold hands and sit round the campfire singing "he's got the whole world !" Brae .....really just venting and adding little if anything today !
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RHP User
15 years ago
i should spank you mister . please if you send a nice message to someone and they abuse you like that...never ever appoligise, they dont deserve anything apart from a block from you (unless your me, then abuse them back cause they deserve it...but i know your nicer than me)...dont give them the time of day hun, you can do a lot better than someone like that plus if that person rejects you and the beautiful Miss Sarah then they have rocks in their head...dumbarse that they are . Venus hun just write a nice letter saying thanks but no thanks...if you get abuse back, then its up to you what you do with that, i find abusing back works well lol, but a lot of people find blocking works better a lot of men appreciate the fact that you respond even if it is a no thanks...so send something that goes for the men aswell...the last two messages i have sent out i have recieved nothing back...dumbfucks they are and they whinge about us girls lol . roxxy roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'irresponsibility' Quoting 'stalky' Oh great! Sample template letters. I think Jeanza was interested in that idea.... here's one I've drafted recently.. "This is not in any way meant to be a criticism.... but you've been wearing those panties around the forum for many weeks now irresponsibility..... (and this is the part I need help with ... should I just blurt it out.. or should I try to be very clever about it)... Can I take them off you?Hugs etc "I mean... how would you reject me .... nicely?HugsStalkyJuust for you I'll go put on another pair... xox shouldn't we put this to a vote, i mean i LOVE the pink bra but i LOOOOOVE the white panties!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Quoting 'irresponsibility' Quoting 'stalky' Oh great! Sample template letters. I think Jeanza was interested in that idea.... here's one I've drafted recently.. "This is not in any way meant to be a criticism.... but you've been wearing those panties around the forum for many weeks now irresponsibility..... (and this is the part I need help with ... should I just blurt it out.. or should I try to be very clever about it)... Can I take them off you?Hugs etc "I mean... how would you reject me .... nicely?HugsStalkyJuust for you I'll go put on another pair... xox shouldn't we put this to a vote, i mean i LOVE the pink bra but i LOOOOOVE the white panties! I feel a photoshoot coming on... green maybe? or I have these interesting tartan and white ones with tassles? No blue unfortunately
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ultimately it is the other person's perogative to treat an approach how they choose because if you put an approach out there I think its wrong to have expectations of how it will be received. Just have the balls to put it out there and take what ever response you get and treat a positive one as a bonus. That said it is nice to get a polite no thank you, which to my mind shows a bit of class.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' shouldn't we put this to a vote, i mean i LOVE the pink bra but i LOOOOOVE the white panties! I only wanted to borrow them for 3 or 4 minutes... jeese. :pHugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'irresponsibility' Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Quoting 'irresponsibility' Quoting 'stalky' Oh great! Sample template letters. I think Jeanza was interested in that idea.... here's one I've drafted recently.. "This is not in any way meant to be a criticism.... but you've been wearing those panties around the forum for many weeks now irresponsibility..... (and this is the part I need help with ... should I just blurt it out.. or should I try to be very clever about it)... Can I take them off you?Hugs etc "I mean... how would you reject me .... nicely?HugsStalkyJuust for you I'll go put on another pair... xox shouldn't we put this to a vote, i mean i LOVE the pink bra but i LOOOOOVE the white panties! I feel a photoshoot coming on... green maybe? or I have these interesting tartan and white ones with tassles? No blue unfortunately can i please vote for the tartan and white with the tassles, they sound cute and Stalky can i take them off her and put them on you...im getting good at that roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
There is nothing wrong with the ignore. If you feel etiquette requires a response that is fine. But to feel obligated is not right, this is a social networking site, the rules are the same as to strangers on the street. Who here as not ignored the inquisitive glance of a stranger for what ever reason? Must we smile or wave at anyone that smiles or waves at us? Whats more, I am paying to be a member, giving anyone a chance to flirt me. If i am not interested, why should I have to make time for some polite response. They can see if I have read the message or flirt, do I need to change their diapers and pat them on the back.. No.....The only time I have felt the need to respond to total strangers is when caravaning Australia. A car with caravan or a RV needs to have a wave as you pass, I have felt guilty for missing a wave. I think its because you may well meet up at some spot some future time, share a camping ground, and no one ever denies a helping hand in the great outback.RHP is not the dusty road, someones desire for sex or companionship is not life threating, and circumstance does not force us to share resources. Never feel guilty for ignoring a stranger on a social networking site.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Rejection seems to imply some feeling, at least that's how I see it. Even with the ratio of males to females on this site, we all have the right to say no or no thanks (if the person was polite). It's a choice, we are all (well I am) here to have fun. No thanks is not rejection, it's just no. So, if you have the time to send a note saying thanks but no thanks that's wonderful.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT' If the message is nice so is my reply. The "Lets fuck baby" messages get simply told "No". Abusive messages get reported and blocked. Most guys would rather get a "thanks but no thanks and good luck" type of message than nothing at all. You summed up my position beautifully. A rude message merits a curt reply, or even none at all. A message that shows that the writer read the profile and put in some effort deserves a polite reply, even if it is from a template. Some would argue with the use of "deserves", but as one who has many decent messages go unanswered because the recipient couldn't be bothered spending 5 seconds to reply, I stand by it.Besides, a reply means that the only other message you'll get from me is a "thanks for taking the time to reply". I won't keep trying, so you're saving yourself time in the long run by sending a polite rejection.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Just keep it simple and be honest, say " I appreciate the e-mail but you're not what I'm looking for atm. "
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'TassieRose' Quoting 'irresponsibility' Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Quoting 'irresponsibility' Quoting 'stalky' Oh great! Sample template letters. I think Jeanza was interested in that idea.... here's one I've drafted recently.. "This is not in any way meant to be a criticism.... but you've been wearing those panties around the forum for many weeks now irresponsibility..... (and this is the part I need help with ... should I just blurt it out.. or should I try to be very clever about it)... Can I take them off you?Hugs etc "I mean... how would you reject me .... nicely?HugsStalkyJuust for you I'll go put on another pair... xox shouldn't we put this to a vote, i mean i LOVE the pink bra but i LOOOOOVE the white panties! I feel a photoshoot coming on... green maybe? or I have these interesting tartan and white ones with tassles? No blue unfortunately can i please vote for the tartan and white with the tassles, they sound cute and Stalky can i take them off her and put them on you...im getting good at that roxxyI second this.
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RHP User
15 years ago
and it is never easy to do or to be on the receiving end of, but not replying at all (while effective) is not really a good way to go, you only have to be on the forums for a few minutes to see all the posts about 'no replies' and how the majority feel about that.The thing is that when someone has taken the time to write you a message that is a HUGE compliment and while they may be lovely people you are not always going to want to have sex with them and a 'decline of offer' is required. I am usually the 'bad girl' and write the messages and i do tend to keep them brief, 'thanks for your interest in our profile and for taking the time to message us at this time you are not what we are looking for/sorry i don't see us being compatible best of luck in your search'. We often get a response back thanking us, one guy even messaged me back saying it was the nicest knock back he had gotten in a while which i thought was lovely.we had a rather nice 'rejection' once and so we responded with a 'thanks no worries, understand your thinking' kind of message and as it turned out they came back some months later and apologized saying that they think they may be interested after all and being the forgiving souls we are we gave them a shot and met for dinner, they were a lovely couple and we enjoyed their company so i don't think a rejection 'closes the door for good' if you go about it the right way and if you don't get personal then they tend to not get too offended. The only time i will mention specifics for not being a match is if it is something that we CLEARLY state in our profile such as smoking.Of course there is always those who no matter what you do or say will get offended and rant and rave at you and in these instances i suggest use of the 'BLOCK' feature, thank goodness you dodged the bullet and move on.Anyway that is my 2 cents worth,Mrs GC
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RHP User
15 years ago
Just say something like"Hey thanks for the message! it was really sincere, but i'm sorry i don't think you're my type"i can always rationalise a rejection if i think i just don't coincide with an individuals personal preference...~Aaron
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Quoting 'TassieRose' Quoting 'irresponsibility' Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Quoting 'irresponsibility' Quoting 'stalky' Oh great! Sample template letters. I think Jeanza was interested in that idea.... here's one I've drafted recently.. "This is not in any way meant to be a criticism.... but you've been wearing those panties around the forum for many weeks now irresponsibility..... (and this is the part I need help with ... should I just blurt it out.. or should I try to be very clever about it)... Can I take them off you?Hugs etc "I mean... how would you reject me .... nicely?HugsStalkyJuust for you I'll go put on another pair... xox shouldn't we put this to a vote, i mean i LOVE the pink bra but i LOOOOOVE the white panties! I feel a photoshoot coming on... green maybe? or I have these interesting tartan and white ones with tassles? No blue unfortunately can i please vote for the tartan and white with the tassles, they sound cute and Stalky can i take them off her and put them on you...im getting good at that roxxyI second this. bring your cameras. I'll make vol au vents and party pies :-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
WELL... if it was me being rejected, I think i would cope much better with the whole situation after a good ol fashioned face ride or simple and "grass-roots" BJ. Followed by a clear and concise parting of ways, with contact never to be made again... :o)Alternatively, the friend approach (whilst much care must be taken here folks) is always the nice and right thing to do - as we all have our paces here on earth, just some of us should be rolling in different circles - eitherway, a fair go should be given to all and common sense prevail.Then again a fat0gram should do it or claim to be gay and the point will be made
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RHP User
15 years ago
xFunlovingx says it all I think. Can't argue with it really, doesn't leave room for reply, (except a Thanks Anyway, which seems polite to me.) Nice to wish good luck as well. Don't mind if it's a template or if it even have my name. it's the thought that counts. :o)
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