Pre-nuptials & co-habitation agreements

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  For me is a damn fine excuse to change the locks lol :p - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I would most definitely arrange some sort of agreement if I ever lived with anyone again. I am currently in property settlement negotiations with my ex. And it is messy, the things he's done....... Some may think it is pessimistic, setting something up to fail. But I don't see it that way at all. I am protecting my ability to continue providing my kids with a home and the financial responsibilities that come with raising them. I would never want to "profit" from the demise of a relationship but protecting my home and kids' futures is paramount. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  idea

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I am not moving in with anyone until our lawyers have had and raised our children, squandered our life's saving, and dug our graves.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I dont know anyone who has either of these things but i read an article a while ago that such arrangements were not recognized in a court of law in australia.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I have never heard of a co-habitation agreement either. As for a pre-nup, well they really do make sense if you have any significant assets or money before getting involved with anyone. There are a lot of gold diggers out there and one has to protect oneself, however not being a person who is money focused, I would probably be insulted if I was asked to sign one. I am not the sort of person who would take someone to the cleaners if things get nasty, I just couldn't be bothered with the drama but I do understand that many do. I don't think I could ask someone to sign one however I don't have money so maybe I would think twice if I did, I don't know. I would't like to ask someone to sign one, it sounds very impersonal and untrusting but when it comes to money, you can't trust a lot of people.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  My first question would be are they legally binding?......to be so would it have to go thru court system?....if so kinda dampens things, planning for a bad ending....or even just an ending... However that said....... Suppose Wills do not need to go to court to be legally binding. If it could be done nicely I would be a big fan........so long as the dynamics could be sufficiently defined.....for wage and salary earners with even asset pool at beginning then should be more easily worked thru..... The topic is thought provoking....and well worth exploartion...as some of us know an unplanned end can be more difficult.........next time im talking to my solicitor which wont be that long unfortunately - ill ask a few questions..... Ill stay tuned in to this one...

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  nattyocean

  11 years ago

  Absolutely for me going forward this would be a requirement. I am a very generous person in many ways and find myself in a situation where I've been taken advantage of by my ex husband who I have essentially supported financially for 6 years now, which if there was contribution otherwise or at least an active attempt to change his employment status I wouldn't be feeling taken for granted and used. Potentially he is walking away with a sum of cash, shares and maybe some of my super simply by default of having married me whilst not making any real contribution for this I.e shares were investments I made prior to the marriage and cash is because I have always tucked away 10% of my salary religiously. We have no children so there's no caretaker situation either. So I'm going forward with working on the acceptance I may have to simply pay him out to have a clean break and learn from my this without holding onto any anger or bitterness and that any future relationships will have the boundaries well defined and known by all parties and formalised (I think)? - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Didn't work though. My story is one of having substancial assest before meeting my now ex. We spoke about what would happen should we part ways. I had indicated that we should have an agreement between us but she was cold to the idea. Life goes on, next thing we are seperated going through a property settlement. To her credit she didn't take me to the cleaners, still talk to one and other. Unfortunatly my next serious relationship it will be a requirement. Hopefully she will understand once bitten twice shy. I look at it as a safegaurd for both parties. You know what it could cost you and also what she is going to get. Can save a lot of time and money going to solictors and letters going back and forth. If you can do it upfront, you will not regret it. Just my 2 cents worth. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  beebs

  11 years ago

  Sign away your rights. Even with property, if one partner had a pre-existing mortgage that the new partner assists in paying off and then 20 years later they go their separate ways a pre-nup won't stop the new partner having some partial claim over the property. And nor should it imho.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'SensualAries' My first question would be are they legally binding?......to be so would it have to go thru court system?....if so kinda dampens things, planning for a bad ending....or even just an ending... However that said....... Suppose Wills do not need to go to court to be legally binding. If it could be done nicely I would be a big fan........so long as the dynamics could be sufficiently defined.....for wage and salary earners with even asset pool at beginning then should be more easily worked thru..... The topic is thought provoking....and well worth exploartion...as some of us know an unplanned end can be more difficult.........next time im talking to my solicitor which wont be that long unfortunately - ill ask a few questions..... Ill stay tuned in to this one... Since a lawyer was the one who actually told me about co-habitation agreements I would say yes they are legally binding. In some cases a handshake can be legally binding for business agreements. Although if the terms of your agreement are onerous, or illegal, or maybe found to be grossly unfair to one party you could always contest the agreement through a court of law. You could also argue that you were forced or under duress when you signed the agreement and argue the contract/agreement is not valid. That is from memory from my law studies 20 years ago. I am sure more knowledgeable people can speak about the validity of pre-nups and cohabitation agreements than I can.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Surely a pre-nup must be legally binding, there has certainly been enough hype and controversy about them in the press in previous years. Whilst my partner and I don't have one, his third wife took him to the cleaners but in my view she deserved half (or just under half of their assets as she had been with him for a considerable period of time). I probably would have been insulted if he had suggested that we have one but he did put me in his will as a beneficiary a short time after we started living together. He has instructed me that if anything happens to him I am not to live with anyone because I may be taken advantage of. Haha. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Meeka100 Since a lawyer was the one who actually told me about co-habitation agreements I would say yes they are legally binding. In some cases a handshake can be legally binding for business agreements. Although if the terms of your agreement are onerous, or illegal, or maybe found to be grossly unfair to one party you could always contest the agreement through a court of law. You could also argue that you were forced or under duress when you signed the agreement and argue the contract/agreement is not valid. That is from memory from my law studies 20 years ago. I am sure more knowledgeable people can speak about the validity of pre-nups and cohabitation agreements than I can. Like some said earlier we can not sign away our rights, & as you said if The Agreement was proved to be onerous insufficiently based on legal principle or in my current case if you are parting company with a highly intelligent Narcissist anything is possible.... So Yep agree the challenges to it would be something id consider before suggesting it to a new serious partner. My experience tells me if u were going ahead with one get the very best solicitor you can afford and have them conduct it as water tight as possible... Then cross ur fingers... - Posted from rhpmobile

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  rootratandlady

  11 years ago

  I asked for one coming into our relationship. I also made sure our wills were fair as well. He had assets and I didn't. It was a protection thing I want to give him. Depending on the exact agreement, some it only shows the court intention and during reconciliation the negotiator takes it into account. Others are more binding. Things can go from awesome to hell with relationship breakdowns. People who you would never have thought would do nasty things can get truly evil. I don't think pre-nups and co-habitation agreements deserve the bad brush they have been tarred with. You have have house and car insurance for just in case something bad happens, why not insurance for your pre-relationship assets?

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  6exxy

  11 years ago

  I have assists here and abroad and certainly who I cohabitat with financial position is a consideration. How to manage that? What do both parties agree on? These are question you don't want to ask but you need to have an understanding of to protect yourself.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Mrs Denials agreed never to come between me and a motorcycle...I agreed to stay away from the motorcycle clubs.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Been cleaned out twice... Thought things were going well and then out of the blue !.Not going down that path again anytime soon !. lost the first house and had to pay for the kids. Second time I sold the house and I got the kids !!.No not any time soon for me.. There is no security in marriage these days.It may change in the future but for now.. Single and enjoying the kids.

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