M45

People who don't like sex

February 26 2013

I've been wondering if any of you here have a family member, a friend or someone you know who actually doesn't like sex and hates it? I know I do, my mother comes to mind. Seriously, I'm not kidding. She absoultly hates images of sexuality, be it on television or in print and has no friends who discuss the ins and outs of sexuality. Put simply, they're a boring bunch. She's not interested in men, nor dates men and, I kid you not, very likely hasn't had sex since I was born. Probably explains her often shitty moods and sudden mood swings. As far as I'm concerned, she's not normal. I'm talking about the kinds of people who have tried sex once or never at all and have hated everything about sex since. I'm aware a lot of woman of foreign backgrounds shun sex because, put simply, it's a white person's world. I just find the whole thing creepily odd.

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RHP User

13 years ago

you are her son,you cant be certain of this,as your mother she is hardly likely to talk to you of all people about the S word.For her sake ,I hope she has a secret life.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Don't judge your mum, she will have reasons for her way of thinking. Her experiences may not have been good and she's scared, bored, hasn't found anyone who floats her boat, whatever. It happens. Let her be herself. I hated sex for a long time for a myriad of reasons that I would never tell my children about. As for sex being a 'white person's world', what do you mean? I'm really curious about this OP.

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RHP User

13 years ago

I think there may be more to your mother, her experiences and sexuality than you are aware of.Just give her a squishy hug and let it go

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RHP User

13 years ago

I'm presuming your mother has a foreign background?? and yes i agree to a point that some cultures do not promote sexuality as a positive thing, where women are forced to marry young, to a man they dont love or are even mildly attracted to. If this happened to your mother than can see how her views have evolved over the years, as others have said im sure there are reasons. If she ever had the chance to find a loving partner that she was really attracted to, im sure things would change. However its very racist to label sex as a "white thing", as i know plenty of multi race people having a fun time!!

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RHP User

13 years ago

There are people out there who are asexual, or not attracted to either sex and not very interested in sex at all. They may be attracted to people, just sexual attraction doesn't come easily. Your mother could perhaps be one of those people. Maybe it's a very low sex drive, which is not entirely uncommon for both females and males. What's normal for some is really low or really high for others. That's the beauty of sexualities, so much variety out there! Not knowing much about her, there is also the possibility that her sexual experiences are limited due to having bad experiences (traumatic or not traumatic) initially. Then again maybe like Freya says, she might just not want to discuss them with you (fair nuff).

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RHP User

13 years ago

I don't think i know any males that wouldn't cut their left testicle off for a root BUT i do know several women that tell me they hate sex. I qualify that by saying those women are mostly sex workers and no they are not sex partners of ours, just in case anyone thought, oh never mind. Whats that old joke, why do women make love with their eyes closed? because they hate to see a man enjoying himself.

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RHP User

13 years ago

These Images in my head! All I can imagine now is your mothers "secret life" which isn't bad because I have no idea who she is,but me being me I think of my mother and how she wanted to discuss her sex life with me...those images not so good. Anyone know a good shrink? On another note people can be what they call "Asexual" in animals this means they can mate with themselves(don't worry not your mum) Because in people it is the lack of sexual attraction.I doubt this is your mum though because they have no problem with sex or sex acts it's just none of it appeals to them.- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

13 years ago

Ring very true. Were your parents married. or is your Mum a single mother? What is your nationality? Where was your Mum born? So many factors can influence the love/hate of sex, incest, rape,religion, parental behaviour. Having said all of that, the body needs sexual release, so unless your Mum has an enormous hormonal problem.....

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RHP User

13 years ago

I think it's because they either haven't had satisfying sexual experiences or are stuck in the marriage rut... Sex if fantastic, especially when it's a new relationship and can become a chore if no effort is made to keep the sexual spark alive. OP, I agree with Ms Poppins - I think there maybe a little bit more to your mothers attitude towards sex :(.

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RHP User

13 years ago

My mates wife hates sex....... Yet she is one of teh biggest flirts i know. I say and do NOTHING

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RHP User

13 years ago

Nothing like me when it comes to sex she straight out tells me Sammy I have no interest in it and never will.That to me is a life of pain and her hubby seeks elsewhere which Im not happy about but also understand why men and woman do that.I believe it plays a big part in any relationship if your not getting it your going to go elsewhere.Poor Sis she doesnt realise what she is missing.I dont think your mum is going to want to openly discuss her sexuality or lack of and I love my mum but the thought of her telling me whats going on in her life sexually is enough to turn me off breakfast,lunch and dinner yuk some things are best unknown xx- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

13 years ago

A partner's mother springs to mind from your description, OP. Everything about sex was dirty... including personal grooming, so-called "slutty" dress, and even tattoos (somehow direct sign of low intellect, don't get me started)... all pretty enlightened for a social worker. I tried my all to unwind those prejudices... The root cause wasn't trauma, and they were as white bread as could be. *opens can of worms* I blame religion, somewhere in the cultural or family tree. But, OP, despite all of that experience, and the intense frustration it caused, I wouldn't be so sure that "mood swings" are directly attributable to fear, disinterest or disgust at sex. That sounds more like mental illness or some such. Ms Poppins got it right, give her a hug. Forgiving our parents is one of the most joyous parts of maturation, imho. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

13 years ago

I had a female in-law who was only interested in sex when she wanted to concieve (striving for a girl) after her forth boy hubby had a vasectomy and sex was rare from there and in the end none for years. When he found a new partner she sang praises of his love making and the ex was not shy in admitting thatshe never really enjoyed sex. I think it is also up to the individual to find their sexual satisfaction our mother was open about any questions we had and always told us you get back what you put in. Although I have learnt so much in the last couple of years on the site.

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RHP User

13 years ago

I've often wondered about just this topic......why do some of us love sex....and others tolerate it? I've got friends who couldn't care less if they get sex or not....and there are no past sexual issues, no religious background...in fact nothing that i can put my finger on. Does it just come to down to learning?? Have these women not been taught to enjoy sex?

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RHP User

13 years ago

Been theredone that9 year sentence.Released on good behaviour.... mine was good, hers, went bad.Life as a former inmate of the institution called marriage.... is gooooooooooooodDG

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RHP User

13 years ago

A girlfriend of mine was married for 8 years, she has 2 kids and she's had sex twice in that year. The other is my sister, who is such a prude and doesn't like to have sex. And for about 3 years, my ex didn't want to have sex - with me, apparently, his libido didn't have problems with other women! Oh, and OP, it would be more creepy if your mum sits you down and talks to you all about her sex life!

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captainkaos

13 years ago

Some medication takes away your sex drive. Anti depressants do. Why would you bother with the opposite sex if you have no sex drive? I can understand that. I think that an open relationship with your parents is awesome. My father died late last year but my parents would often talk or joke about sex. It was quite amusing because it would always grose out my sister-in-law. lol. My mum knows about my sex life and why I find some women sexy and why I break up with others. We are fairly open although we have never discussed the ins and outs of what we like sexually. lol.

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