M35 F32
Our first swingers party
April 07 2024
What should we know?
Comments
Alexis
7 months ago
I went to my first swingers party all of 24 hours ago and had a fantastic time. So I'll tell you some takeaways that I have that might help and you can see what applies to you.
Keeping in mind this was a private event of around 60 people and I was going as a single male without knowing anyone.
1) There was a group chat for the even and I was quite active in that over the last week. So a few people at the party recognised me from there when I arrived. That was quite good to have some rapport already built with people. I also went to the pre drinks which was a great way to meet people before everything kicked off.
2) Definitely the best thing I did was introduce myself in the group chat and say that it is my first event and I am looking forward to it, but I also have quite a few nerves around it. I asked if anyone would like to chat beforehand so I knew some people when I arrived. I got a really great response and connected with a few people. In particular one lady and another couple really took me under their wing. It was basically like I had a date for the event.
They had been to their first events in the last year and said they were super nervous too so understood how I felt. I'm pretty social and outgoing so I was able to move around and meet a bunch of others but it was really nice to know them beforehand and have a sort of anchor that I could always come back to.
If you're feeling nervous about it I can recommend that. Maybe try to connect with a couple or woman who has been to a few events before.
3) In my head beforehand I had some sort of image that there were going to be a whole lot of "perfect" bodies there. That was causing me a bit of anxiety. As soon as I arrived I realised that nothing could be further from the truth. It was a very diverse crowd with all ages, heights, body shapes, and sexualities. So if you're having any nerves regarding body image there's definitely nothing you need to worry about.
4) For Mr Threesomeseeker, viagra is a miracle worker. I'm roughly the same age as you and have never had any issues before. But in that environment, with the nerves, meeting so many new people, and my senses processing so many new things I don't think my body would have worked without it. Which is apparently very common. With the magic pill everything was fine for the whole night.
So you can look into that if you want and there's no need to feel any shame around it if you take one. My friend gave me one but you do need a prescription for them. Possibly you don't feel comfortable going to a doctor for that, so there is a website called Instant Scripts that you can check out.
I hope some of this helps and you have a great time!
Obi1kenietzsche
7 months ago
The address.
wanderlustQLD
7 months ago
If it's at a dedicated venue (rather than a hotel), I think its great to get the hosts to show you around. They can explain how the rooms etc.. work, some of the 'protocols' and even introduce you to people. Everyone was new once 😉 Have fun!
teamaj2
7 months ago
Alexis’s advice is spot on .
It is fantastic to make connections prior attending if that’s at all possible .
From a couples point of view our advice is communication- before , after and during the event . Communications must be honest without fear of recriminations from your partner .
1- Have a set of boundaries in place that suit you both . Discuss these boundaries at length prior attending . Obviously, you can’t cover all scenarios that may eventuate. During the evening , check in with each other regularly. Our number one priority is always each other . If one of us wanted to leave for whatever reason , we would definitely leave without hesitation. It’s okay to move the goal posts on boundaries, as long as you both agree . Dont just assume your partner will be okay with it . Once again check in with them .
2- After the event , always discuss the evenings events .
3- Just to reiterate what Alexis said , my greatest concern was walking into a room full of ‘supermodels ‘. As he pointed out , that’s far from the truth . It’s a mixed bag .
4- I know it’s difficult but try not to have too many expectations and let the night go where it leads you . If you decide to watch , socialise and not play that’s perfectly okay too .
5- Not wanting to be negative , some parties / events can be a little clicky . Please don’t take it personally , some people are regulars and they stay with the crowd they know . We’ve found most people to friendly and informative in our early days of exploration. Every event varies . Even the same event / party will be different the next time . It’s very crowd dependent.
6- Consent is very important . Make sure your partner is 100% consensual at all times . Obviously, also those you play with . Never just assume because people are at an event they are up for play with anyone .
7- Nerves are normal .
8- Lastly, have fun. It’s a wonderful adventure you are doing together . Have a fabulous night . Ax
Andrea_Sydney
7 months ago
Great list of tips from Alex there!
What I would add as a couple is go without the expectation of playing with someone.
For your first time, go with the expectation of having sex just you - but in front of other people. That’s a barrier to break and very exciting first time thing to do. If you go with the expectation of finding a third immediately, you might go hime disappointed.
But if your barrier is having sex in front of others and anything else is a welcome addition only, then chances of going home exhilarated are much higher.
Another thing I would mention is that make sure you don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to play with you.
Swinging means group sex, yes, but it also means lots of no thank yous, take it the same as you offering to pour a drink to someone and they say no thank you. Don’t dwell on it and definitely don’t ask for reasons.
And lastly - talk! To each other. Prior! Boundaries, feelings. And after! Debrief! How did you each feel about everything. Make it sweet, detailed conversations. If anything gave you a tricky feeling, talk through it without accusations, just listening and gently expressing how you felt. Then you both know for the next time what to avoid. It’s a learning curve and takes time to get to know each other in this new situation.
Enjoy!
Sawadee
7 months ago
Some very informative responses here .. In all my time on rhp l dont recall ever seeing or reading such detail on how it all works and what to expect.. The information provided is invaluable to first timers who otherwise wouldn't know what to expect... Thumbs up....
nightingale8
7 months ago
Single women have the choice pick. They will choose you if you can be both charming and respectful (don’t talk about sex off the bat, if at all unless she asks. Everyone knows why you’re there). Even if your miss is shy, if she can be proactive that will raise your chances. Something I found strange as a female seeking another female on the rare occasion is that many would expect me to chase and charm them as if I were a dude. *yawn* got bored.
The other thing is that for some reason people get much more friendly and randy after midnight. I’m too tired! But it’s the magic hour, usually after which when I’m ready to leave. And so most of the time that’s when I get the most numbers and best conversations. What about 10pm! That’s a whole two hours of romping in multiple positions and combinations and we still have time for beauty sleep. Better yet, let’s make it a morning party and affair…11am!
DMSR1999
7 months ago
Thankyou so much for everyone's great advice. We are hoping to visit a club later in the year and really value the tips everyone has shared here.
threesomeaeekers
7 months ago
If anyone is in town and headed to the party you should hit us up. Might be easier then going alone
Andrea_Sydney
7 months ago
So how was it??
happilymarried22
7 months ago
Did you end up going?
threesomeaeekers
7 months ago
We ended up going. Didn't have any sex play with other couples or singles but had a bit of fun with people all watching. Wife ended up Being strapped to one of those giant X racks and got me to whip and flog her for about 25 mins infront of about 40 people.
She enjoyed herself far more then she was expecting to
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