F33
One for the guys: Playing hard to get?
August 06 2025
Comments
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RHP User
10 months ago
It’s not a gender specific problem. Most people on dating apps and sites have very little comprehension of how to form understanding and respect. It’s a human trait. My experience is most women don’t put the requisite effort in to match mine and thus we never meet. Keep being demanding and hold high standards. You’ll meet less people but who will match you much more closely. Keep at it but realise lots of men and women are low effort / high expectation.
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MrandMrsEss
10 months ago
Ah the bratty ones, I find there are some Brats that are just too over the top but if done in a playful manner it’s just another fun way of exploring dynamics. We just cannot do the whambam meets, they di nothing for us, we love the slow burn in whatever form it takes. Currently we have a close friend that Mrs may have been a bit forward with a marking a year ago, so last weekend they both got high and lost a little more control but stoooed just before.,,,well you know! It’s left a sense of frustration, of desire and of respect knowing that it’s getting very hard for them both to hold back. Now I’ve known they are going to fuck each other senseless one day for years but it’s taking them a long time to leap and it’s delicious!
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Brian_Breynolds
10 months ago
Is your version of hard to get similar to your previous forum post? Where you asked a question and then didn’t bother to respond to the 20 people who answered you. Because that might be playing a little too hard to get. I don’t really like the hard to get thing because I’m not a circus animal. I don’t mind putting in effort and waiting, with flirting and building some tension in the meantime. I actually enjoy that. But there has to be reciprocated effort from the other side. If I don’t feel there is, I just stop the conversation. I don’t really feel like putting on a performance and jumping through hoops like a show dog to maybe get a treat someday. It’s dehumanising and, dare I say it, entitled.
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boobsandbusted
10 months ago
Nope after ten minutes trying, I got nothin positive to say on this one ,lol,the force is strong today
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NeoAndTrin
10 months ago
I don't think guys can afford to play hard to get here. Hard enough to get a response as it is.
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Ourmalibu
10 months ago
Maybe we now live in a world of instant gratification…shopping online, social media, finding instant answers on google, Uber eats, sexual needs being met etc etc. We tend to want good things and we want it now!! I’m not a fan of bratty behaviour in adults, I’ve never tolerated with my kids, it’s a turn off for us. Oops! I’m the female, sorry couldn’t help but chime in 💁🏼♀️
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Andrea_Sydney
10 months ago
IRL yes, you can probably find playmates who like some brat taming. It might need to be flagged that that’s what you enjoy. I wonder online, if you just do it in an effort to play hard to get in a bratty manner, would it come across? Men get told off here all the time. I would think you could confuse guys quite a bit if you just act that way. They might conclude you are not into them. If you expect them to see through it and “brat tame” you in their reply messages….check a recent thread of a guy replying in something like that manner. He got blocked and was puzzled why. So - I think you might need to explain what you are after before you can start the game. Just my thoughts…
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Felicitous
10 months ago
I thought this on your last post and I think it applies here also... Your profile doesn't really match your needs and wants. Definitely start there. I'm of the firm belief that if there's an issue with what I'm attracting on some level I'm 50% of that problem - if not more! You can't change them.. however you can define preferences and be more clear. It can also make for those tough conversations ie have you discussed before you meet someone that this is what you like to do ... to see if it resonates with them? If it doesn't - I wouldn't be meeting up. If you specifically wrote, as you've explained above, what you are looking for and what you love.. there would be those on here that are totally into the 'bratty' persona. More importantly it might deter those that don't enjoy it which would be great.. since those connections have been redundant and unfulfilling for you. You're also looking for a FWB that takes you out (not just in a sexual way) - from your last question but your profile indicates that you only meet at clubs and not privately. Seems from the above that's not the case - so why not update that? The more refined your profile is to what you're actually looking for - the more chance you have of actually finding it and them you. Hope that helps. V
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The_Milkman
10 months ago
Look I’m not saying men are simple creatures… but half the blokes on here would probably swipe right on a warm lasagna if it winked at them. Bratty and hard to get isn’t a turnoff, it’s foreplay with a storyline. But yeah, seems like half the guys on here just want fast food vibes - quick, easy, zero effort, and no name remembered. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just playing in a league where most are barely showing up to training 🤌🏽
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Blueflamingo
10 months ago
There's a fine line between playing hard to get, being desperate and chasing. Some like it one way, others another way. If you play hard to get and he keeps chasing you, that might seem a turn-on for you, but others would find it stalkerish. Clear communication is key and your profile should 100% reflect what you are looking for. Then you might even end up finding whose who like a bratty behaviour. Good luck!
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RHP User
10 months ago
There is bratty and playing hard to get that is a real turn on. Then there is bratty and playing hard to get that just pisses you off. One is a kind of foreplay the other is just a plain look at me, look at me annoyance
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MsSuperFoxy
10 months ago
I understand what you're saying OP - I get it. Why do guys not like this? IMO: Reality is they (not all, just some - I'd say more vanilla types/whambamthankyoumam) are uneducated and will never understand the kink dynamic in the BDSM scene. Ms Foxy
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Notice_Me
10 months ago
Perhaps learn to say 'yes' more than 'no' ... unless it's CNC play, but that's another story (option) 😇
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Brisbloke4006
10 months ago
I get the ‘lifestyle’ is a broad church and different role playing scenarios are part of the mosaic. However for me, one of the great appeals of the lifestyle is not having to deal with the ‘hard to get’ games that are played in the ‘vanilla’ dating world. I like it when people are transparent and honest with their intentions from the get go and if there is no mutual attraction we all respectfully move on. To me casual doesn’t equate with disrespectful whether a one off or ongoing.
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Beachbod
10 months ago
A lot of guys have to face rejection on a regular basis. The older we get we generally get over the chase. It gets old and tiring and now that ghosting has dramatically increased, so has our patience to chase a girl. If misconstrued, chasing can come off as annoying or harassing too. Many guys don't want this to be the case. Personally, I love a girl who is cheeky, has good banter though appreciate if she likes me to let me know.. I'm older now and would like a girl like yourself for regular NSA fun, but finding a girl like that is hard. I'd be interested if you are local..
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Lookng_4_fun
10 months ago
In our experience so far there are so many different layers to what you want to get from the LS, some enjoy a quick hook up to the other side of social fun first. The joy in being a couple in this is you have a partner in crime to enjoy whatever is your collective bag, ours is social, connection and continued fun that may come first meet or over time. Relating this to the question is we love the banter, games and flirt as much as the deed be the brat and the right people will love it!
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RandR4U
10 months ago
Its about being respectful towards yourself. Playing hard to get can build that respect from others also. If you're a person that "ghosts" a conversation, then comes back later, then that's crap. Playing hard to get can be a good thing, you eventually learn the hidden agenda behinds ones actions. We believe that there are many people on here that are not being completely truthful, and this can be a deal breaker in so many ways. For us, it's all about the TRUST, knowing you can enjoy someone for the person they really are, and not being placed at any risk whether it be physically or health-wise.
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RHP User
10 months ago
If you are an older guy, the norm is no reply, ghosting and rejection. You have to expect that and either handle it or get out of the dating apps. If someone is playing hard to get, I'm not going to put the effort into chasing them, only to be rejected . So for me bratty behaviour is a turn off and a quick block
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flipzta
9 months ago
@wetleg ANTICIPATION IS THE HOTTEST THING ABOUT sites LIKE RHP…everyone loves a nsa random fuck, but come on..? I want it to lead up to something mind blowing…I’ve had enough of the 2minutes of meh
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Lustie
8 months ago
It's not so much about being hard to get, There is absolutely nothing wrong with it , it can create an anticipation that a foreplay in it's own right. Having said that, As a Older single bloke , EVERYONE is hard to get, we, All single blokes experience and know this. It's the effort made when a message is sent. Yes, I have been guilty of sending utterly Shite messages, even sent one to another commenter here and, admittedly, deservedly got NO reply, I have learned from this and changed how I write and approach, this has led to a much more, shall we say, successful time for me. What I find difficult to stomach is the profiles saying must be able to hold a conversation, only to receive 1 or two word replies, every reply, throughout an entire conversation , um, I am I having a conversation? Or carrying it, give us Something back, or better yet Ignore us altogether, it's easier to deal with. Or profiles that say one thing but the author is after something else, how are we supposed to know if we suit what you want if it isn't stated upfronted? If you love to play hard to get , you also must love the chase, I can't see why you would be having a problem other than the slightly unclear profile, but if you are, what or who is the common denominator, Yep, You , So how do you reply to his/their approach ? Do you encourage the chase or is it a 1-2 word reply that leads to total boredom for the whomsoever is trying to attract your interest and so they simply then lose interest ?
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