Us4you

Us4you

M55 F52

Offended by rejections

February 17 2025

In a recent back and forth messaging session, pics were exchanged. My wife looked over them and his profile , decided he wasn’t what she was looking for. I tried to gently let him know she wasn’t feeling it on her end. Then the nasty messages came including the “ I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed her anyway, she’s overweight “. Uncalled for, as that information was already in our profile , so why bother messaging us to start with anyway? My question is, do you just , don’t reply if someone is not of your interest , or do you reply and hope they don’t get offended. It sort of explains now why a lot of people say they just get ghosted. If you can’t handle rejection, then maybe this is not for you.

Comments

  • NeoAndTrin

  • Opalrose

    Opalrose

    a month ago

    The forums are littered with posts about why people get blocked.

    If the original messages were respectful I give the benefit of the doubt, and reply. Often disappointed.

    If they weren’t respectful, then no reply necessary and straight to the block list usually.

    Had a guy last week tell me thin girls were his kink and I’m the absolute best he’s seen. Even offered some sugar just to get his foot in the door. Aww that’s nice, but I said thanks but not looking for guys. Got the old “yeah your face is probably rough anyway and I’m not into fat bitches”. 🤣

  • Flirty2020

    Flirty2020

    a month ago

    That has happened to us often, the way that you have described it.

    Some people clearly cannot take no for an answer, and hurl insults etc if they feel that they have been rejected.

    We report them to admin and then block them.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    a month ago

    Yep, the usual comebacks.....
    You're too old anyway
    You're a bit fat
    You're probably up yourself
    And the semi threatening ones, " How would your family ( friends, workmates etc ) feel if they knew you were on here. 🙄

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    a month ago

    From experience, It's not worth repling- your example is exactly why I support ghosting. Any man that believes has entitlement of a woman's body then throws a hissy fit because he got told NO, is an idiot! A lot of men (I'd say about 95%) don't like being told NO. So therefore it's not worth your time replying, even with well written replies because they'll always come back with some sort of degrading put down.
    I bet if you said YES, they'd do anything to get that root- guaranteed they'd be on their best behavour. Lol!

    Ms Foxy

  • StartingAt40

    StartingAt40

    a month ago

    I'm sorry you had to deal with that Us4you, not a pleasant experience at all.

    While it's part and parcel of immature people online, I know it's not easy to accept because we all know it's inappropriate behaviour online or offline, screen or no screen.

    I hope your next experience is much better!

  • FeistyFatty

    FeistyFatty

    a month ago

    Don't reply, just block. This topic has been debated ad nauseum. Have a read through the archives for other members experiences 👍

  • RachWandered

    RachWandered

    a month ago

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet and if there was any lingering doubt the guy typed himself out of a root…

    Not a bad outcome really…

  • UWCouple

    UWCouple

    a month ago

    Sounds like the wife's intuition was bang on! we have found the best policy is to just delete/block and move on.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    a month ago

    I've blocked a few guys who replied to a polite No thank you with a load of abuse. To be honest, it's not normal behaviour. I wouldn't like to meet someone with that level of anger over trivial things.

  • Andrea_Sydney

    Andrea_Sydney

    a month ago

    I would ask how exactly did you say she isn’t feeling it?
    I noticed from the forums that some people seem to give reasons as to why they are not attracted. If you look at rhetorics/conversation studies - as soon as you tell a person why you don’t like them, you force them into a defensive corner and they will feel the urge to come back with something.
    Not saying you did that!
    Just saying that all I see in the forums is people saying their rejections result in abuse or insults. Especially when people say it happens “regularly “ then I wonder … have they ever read through their way of rejecting to critically check whether they could do it in a more diplomatic way.
    Not saying you did anything wrong! Just food for thought: if instead of saying “my wife doesn’t want you” you had said “you seem a really nice guy, but we are not really feeling the vibe we are looking for. All the best to you though!” … would he still have responded the same way?
    My gut feeling is, you say wife doesn’t like you, he feels offended and in his unsophisticated way responds well I don’t like her either.
    Do you get what I mean?
    Of course, there are also dickheads around who will be an arse even if you are nice. But that’s rare!
    Rejections should be worded in a respectful way without any reasons given. The reasons hurt and put people into a defensive corner and depending on how experienced, self-confident and serene/not serene they are, they might feel the need to come back with something.
    I think, we all need to move away from the stance that because it’s online, we can reject with harsh words or come back with harsh words.
    All you can do is look out for your own conduct, if you still get rude replies, that sucks. But overall I have to say that imagining how you would say something if you had the person in front of you and then say it like that, that seems to work best in terms of keeping everyone kind and civil.
    Your post sounds like you are a friendly person, so I’m hoping you two will find the guy who your wife will feel attracted to and wish you all the best! x

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    a month ago

    Saaay whaaat!
    Look at our own conduct?
    Seriously!
    Pleeease stop making excuses for their shitty behavour. 🙏

    Ms Foxy

  • SweetSerenade

    SweetSerenade

    a month ago

    It seems we miss out on these interesting types of messages, and we ignore most incoming traffic from single guys. If they don't match the description of what we're looking for well generally just ignore. If the6 don't bother to read our profile, why bother reading their message.

    Although any red or orange flag profiles get immediately blocked. Crass profile names, sending nudes, self entitled written profile, no profile pic, refusing to send a face pic, unverified, fake looking profile, feels like a bot profile.... they all get immediate block.

  • Chico36

    Chico36

    a month ago

    There are some in my personal experience...don't have the decency and respect to others on this site ., In my experience there are some guys who chat , few pic swaps then they block , or delete their msgs , ..I have created a folder for all those guys who deleted their msgs .
    One guy who deleted his msg sent a msg to me recently....when I checked the folder traced back to 8 months ...
    Just told him sorry I'm not interested...
    That way I know who is genuine and who is not .
    I screen their profiles thoroughly these days...you may have a great gym body but if you don't have respect and courtesy for others than " It be a Next please for me "

  • BiPeggyGal

    BiPeggyGal

    a month ago

    These type of websites are not in alignment with people who take things personally. They're not suited for the very lonely or fragile etc.

    I message people, then put it out of my mind and focus on other tasks. A bonus if they reply.

    It's also impossible to respond to every message if you get a few, you'd never get off here.

    I now have to actively detach from here to keep a balance.

    Ego is strong with some, that and/or an unrestrained sexual attachment can make some people behave in disrespectful ways.

    I ignore or block them, and forget about it.

    I'm big on Boundaries.

  • stealthyphoenix

    stealthyphoenix

    a month ago

    The block button is the best thing, in both directions. We'd rather just be instantly blocked if someone doesn't like the look or sound of us, and we do the same. Just keeps the inbox tidy and up to date. It's nothing personal and we don't take it personally either. We're just here for no drama genuine fun and only want to connect with others who are the same. Our 2$ worth.

  • captkirk1981

    captkirk1981

    a month ago

    Reading these makes me understand why I don’t get any responses or replies. Understand that obviously I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I have and never would respond with negativity or abuse to a decline. I can only imagine the messages couples and single women must get on here.

  • Pineapplexchange

    Pineapplexchange

    a month ago

    Rejection is part of this lifestyle, if you cannot take rejection then quite honestly, you shouldn't be here, really sorry to hear you guys were subjected to that, totally uncalled for,

    I host private parties and I get rejected at my own parties, doesn't bother me in the slightest, I still invite the couples back, it doesn't change a thing,

    I once inadvertently started a conversation with a TS, when I realized my mistake, I apologized and said it's not my thing, the torrent of abuse I got back was way over the top, I reported it to RHP, who issued a warning, needles to say I blocked the profile and am much more careful who I messaged!

  • FifoLover

    FifoLover

    a month ago

    If people are getting those replies when they’re not right for someone just goes to show they have no clue about the lifestyle! Just because in your eyes you see an Adonis or supermodel doesn’t mean others do! Personality is a big key too! I just don’t get those who get upset being rejected! Move on or leave the site!

  • Liz1487

    Liz1487

    a month ago

    Fragility and misogyny go hand in hand, with rejection the catalyst. There’s no excuse for abuse. No thanks is pretty clear non-consent.

  • whowasthatcouple

    whowasthatcouple

    a month ago

    Nobody is owed a relationship.

  • aznfgurl

    aznfgurl

    a month ago

    He's a loser who can't laid. His loss :)

  • KandMKinkycouple

    KandMKinkycouple

    a month ago

    I for one look at the profile first and if there not what we are looking for then we don't respond most messages are from single guys that haven't even bothered to look at the profile.
    And all are looking to sleep with my partner we are a bi couple looking for bi people not really that hard hey

  • Blackdontcrack

    Blackdontcrack

    a month ago

    There is alot of pic collection on this app

  • BodynBabe

    BodynBabe

    a month ago

    There is no way to please everyone in here. Some people will get offended by you saying: "Thank you, we are not interested", others will get offended by you not replying at all. Can't win this one haha:) And among couples it happens a lot, when one partner, let's say give other couple a like, but then later other partner checks the profile and there is no vibe. You can be honest, you can block, or you can stop responding. No one will judge you. It's just the way it is here. We put a clause in our profile that if we don't respond, it means we're not interested. When you receive dozens, or in case of single ladies, sometimes hundreds of messages a day, it would be impossible job to reply to everyone. And anyone being rude or wasting our time gets a permanent block. And our block list is loooong:)

  • ValleyMan1

    ValleyMan1

    25 days ago

    I always prefer a polite no thanks, than being ignored. But that's just me.

  • supern0va

    supern0va

    25 days ago

    Some people take it personally. We all have different taste, it doesn't mean you're unattractive, just not that person's type.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    23 days ago

    Don’t be offended ! Set yourself some boundaries and you won’t be offended . I’ve spoken with several people since I joined here , not everyone is going to be into you. It makes me feel more comfortable doing what I need to for me ; I suspect that’s the same for others . Learn it is ok to be yourself.

  • MrandMrsEss

    MrandMrsEss

    23 days ago

    Interesting post. We get contacted often by couples where their desired age range doesn’t match our ages. These days we point this out and are met with “age is but a number” responses but when we show them ourselves in one photo we get the “not feeling it” reply.
    Now with most of these we haven’t been blown away by their photos either but are happy to see if their personality wins us over. I guess their reply lets us dodge a bullet no matter how hot they are but it’s a bit of a downer.
    Have recently changed our initial reply to “we are not what you state you are looking for in your profile so this won’t work sorry”

  • BiPeggyGal

    BiPeggyGal

    23 days ago

    So far I've been very fortunate to have good-natured responses to my not being interested.

    Only one guy sent a slimy message and my response re: an amethyst buttplug for him made him drop off 🤣.

    Otherwise I have a pretty thick skin and have relearnt quickly to not take it all too seriously and to leave my ego at the door, after a few weeks of adjustment.

  • Ozwife

    Ozwife

    23 days ago

    Happens to me often! Eventhough in my profile I state I'm BBW if ur not interested don't pursue! Suddenly I lv been made feel rubbish about myself, by some asshole I'm not even interested in anyway, and IV only responded because manners cost nothing!! It's made me not want to respond now!

  • westsidechick

    westsidechick

    22 days ago

    Some people can be so rude with their replies to you.
    I often get the lifestyle speech from couples, I'm used to it now, But there's no reason to be rude.
    I just move onto the next person I'm talking to.

  • fullofman

    fullofman

    20 days ago

    I really appreciate it when a couple tell me i am not what they are looking for or not a match especially after messages have been exchanged. While disappointed I know where I stand and can move on.

  • Happytohelp

    Happytohelp

    18 days ago

    Hi there beautiful

  • Niccoletta

    Niccoletta

    18 days ago

    There are those men out there who have lost the art of being a gentleman!
    Had one little man give me an ultimatum to contact him by 5pm or else.... luckily I checked in and seen his message at 4.58pm.... had a lol moment and then deleted the idiot!
    Just don't engage with there rubbish, life is too short!!!

  • MarioKartNChill

    MarioKartNChill

    17 days ago

    We can handle rejection. It's being ghosted or being stood up that annoys us here.

  • aimtoplease181

    aimtoplease181

    17 days ago

    I'm a single male and not a real stud yet (trying to lose weight and get back to the gym) but personal I would prefer that a person replies as I take the time and effort to read a profile and think about can I satisfy this person. I believe it's rude not to, I understand that you have had a run in with a let's say a dick head but I believe most people appreciate the truth.
    When someone doesn't reply to my message I understand they could have a lot to go through but when you can see they have read it, it's not a good feeling to be ignored. It builds up hatred with some people.
    I would like to see admin put a thumbs up thumbs down scale for people's interactions then people that ACT like dick heads become known to all.

  • VeryClassy

    VeryClassy

    16 days ago

    It’s not always rejections. We are an experienced couple, don’t live anywhere near a major city and we hooked up with everyone who massaged us we would be playing twice a day. It’s not even about being fussy, it’s about making the hottest choices available when you have the time to play.

  • Ausblack

    Ausblack

    16 days ago

    What a douchebag, I would be keen. Hung bbc here in Brisbane

  • Sly_Fun23

    Sly_Fun23

    16 days ago

    In my opinion if you can't handle rejection it's probably not the scene for you. Everyone has their own likes and tastes.

    Personally I like a message to say "het thanks for the interest but your not what im/we are looking for" which i take on board and reply with " completely understand, I wish you well on your endeavors and find what your looking for"

    Some people just think there gods gift

  • FunPhriend

    FunPhriend

    16 days ago

    @Us4you, that guy must be stupid. Your Mrs has great curves. There is a proverb for people like him- a frustrated cat who can't get up a pole, scratches it.
    Just ignore and block. Not worth your attention.

  • squrting

    squrting

    14 days ago

    Absolutely disgusting and it’s not all about the way someone looks, BLOCKED

  • Itsokdontpanic

    Itsokdontpanic

    11 days ago

    I Take it as a grain of salt
    This isn’t the real world until you have looked someone in the eyes
    Sex without a connection is just exercise
    I’d rather be on my bike or getting dirty other ways 🔧
    Time is precious why waste it wondering 🤔

  • quester

    quester

    9 days ago

    Some prople get pissed off if you don't post full face pics.Given the goings on on internet today i will definetly not post full face pics until i have met someone in person.I have adopted the attitude if you don't like it move on.

  • MartNCourt

    MartNCourt

    9 days ago

    I have worked out that in life we can't please them all.
    This also shows you their character and if you so happen to cross paths, then remember why you passed them by.
    Not everyone matches, an like us we have been interested and have been told no. To us that's perfectly acceptable we aren't for everyone. Politely accept and be grateful for the response.

  • curiousaussie69

    curiousaussie69

    7 days ago

    that guy's behaviour to being told no , huge red flag and maybe dangerous?...jeeeze these are the guys that can ruin this good adult fun people can have. dont reply and block maybe