Never Swung What To Expect

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  jandv

  16 years ago

  Swinging is great and has brought us so much fun over the years. I remember our first time, we didnt even meet for a drink, we just jumped straight in LOL Our advice is just go with the flow. Have no expectations and just have fun. All the best. jandv

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I would strongly suggest that if the two of you have not sorted all this stuff out between you  before you swing that perhaps this may not be for you. There is no rule book....you can ask for advice from other people but they dont know you, your relationship and the special circumstances for bring you to this point.... Good on you for dipping your toe in the water but if I may I suggest that you just go with the flow and see what develops,,,, the only rider to this is to clearly define the don't.....for example no sex without a condom or no anal etc.... Perhaps look to start with a couple in a similar situation.....or conversely an reasonably experienced couple.....be honest and be clear ! Remember, if it's not sexy and it's not fun,,,,why are you doing it ? Hav fun. Dog.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Is it better to just go for it first, or chat to other couple for awhile when we meet, then pair up to  play with them. As we have never done it before and any help would be good. We are both will to try as being with other people turn us on.  Couples or Female replay, need help please

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Well its abvious you guys have a relatively open mind coming into this sort of thing which is one thing everyone in this game needs to have to even begin. Our first time was with one of my mans best friends who we had both known for a very long time and so the trust issues there were fine as well as our comfort level with each other, we had all seen eachother naked at one point or other long before we decided to play. This step just seemed natural and was alot of fun and there was no bad taste left afterwards and we are all still great friends. Is this sort of thing an option for u be it with her friend or yours?   If not probably as BBD said your best bet is either going to be complete beginners like yourself as you are all going to have the same questions, nerves etc. and you may find it fun to ask eachother what thir thoughts are. This is a great way to break the ice on the topic and the other couple will probably have just as many questions, fears etc as you do. Or you can go the other way and talk to a very experianced couple. These couples tend to be alot more laid back and accepting as they have "been there done that" and nothing much will surprise them. Our second time at playing was with a couple like this and they made the night an absolute ball. we were very relaxed and comfortable with them as they are not pushy and respect your need to take things as they come.   The main thing would be to be honest straight from the word go when meeting new ppl. explain how you started talking about this option and what your ideas are and go from there.   There are no real unwritten rules as each individual and couple are all different and want different things. about the only thing i can think of is to not do or say anything that is not invited of you. dont cross ppls boundaries and respect their relationship with you is either purely sexual or friendship with benifets, and work out what kind of relationship with them u want and find ppl that are after the same.   Dont be afraid to ask questions no matter how stupid u think u may look or feel...its better to ask a silly question and get an answer then to take a chance and make a complete fool of yourselves.   As far as jealousy creeping up....thats a tough one...are you or you partner  a naturally jealous person? if you are why not try and visit a strip club a few times together you may be surprised at how seeing you partners reaction can be more of a turn on then a jealousy trigger...   Anyway i hope some of this helps u a bit.   Best advise is really to set your own boundaries with your partner and make sure you both stick to them "in the moment" unless you are both happy to shake those boundaries.   Hope you find the right couple and have a great first experiance! best of luck

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  provocativeparty

  16 years ago

  ADIDAS09 has summed it up in ONE great work.... just remember its all about having fun...

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Thank you Adida509 you make some good points

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Rules as far as I see it …………    I believe that there is the need for Rules and that they are established purely to suit individual couples.    When created with honesty they play an extremely important part in make your experience a successful and enjoyable one.    I have seen way too many times relationships being irreversibly affected by rushing into adding someone into the bedroom.   So take the time to talk to your lover about what it is you want to get out of adding someone into your bed.    Believe me, there is great pleasure in this, however it can stir insecurities and doubts very easily, so speak up and be sure you know what each other wants.   This is not for everyone, but also doesn’t need to be harmful either.  Be safe, love and trust each other and enjoy the ride!

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Adida509 has definately given a good over view of things to consider. While the thought of inviting other people into your sex life is a fantasy that many people entertain, you must honestly assess whether you and your partner has the head space to deal with making fantasy a reality.  The first and most important thing to ask yourself is "Can you draw a clear line between love and sex?" Swinging should be nothing more than good sexy fun, and if the sight of your partner enjoying themselves with someone other than you is something you could not cope with then don't do it. No fantasy is worth losing the one you love.When things get started, remember to pay attention to your partner as well as your new found freind. Nothing will upset your partner more than feeling like he/she is not even in the room. If your new to the scene, a quiet whisper while kissing your partner to check if they are ok with the way things are proceeding can be a good idea. Communicate during the proceedings, tell your partner how turned on you are by what you are seeing etc.When choosing playpals make a list of the type of characteristtics your ideal playpals would have, and stick to it. Guy's, if your partner is not a size 8 bikini model it might not be a good idea to continually suggest you play with younger hotter beachbabes. Ladies, the same goes for you, don't make your man feel inferior by always suggesting you meet with couples where the guy is hung like John Holmes paricularly if he is Mr avererage or smaller. Yes its nice to see your wife being fucked by a huge cock once in a while or hubby getiing a headjob from a hot babe on occasion, but keep an eye on the frequency you suggest these things. COMMUNICATION is above all the most important thing. Be totally honest with eachother about what you want from the experience. Remember not to over analize things, it's meant to be uncomplicated, good fun sex. If one of you is not comfortable with prospective playpals when you meet them, say so.Never "take one for the team" just because your partner is keen if you are not.  Set your rules before the games begin. It does not have to be as clinical as that sounds, but if there are some things you wish to leave sacred to your personal relationship then let your play pals know. Keep in mind that these rules may change as you get more comfortable with swinging and your  inhibitions fade. So good luck if you take the plunge, it's not as scarey as it may seem as long as you are honest with yourself and your partner. On a personal level it has made our relationship even stronger, allowing Bad Kitty to be who she really is (a super sexy bi girl) has made our personal conection so much closer. Above all HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN!

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  The idea of having sex with another partner is very very horny and this feeling will not go away if you have been thinking about it. Often men suggest wife swapping and get their women to follow then some get shitty because their woman "enjoyed it". You don't want any of that. If you have a male friend ask him to take your wife in the spare bedroom and see how you feel about that. Or, just meet up with a couple over drinks and take it from there.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  hear hear sexual_healing2.  I've never understood why a married couple would introduce a 3rd partner into the bed, but each to their own.with the rules, stick to them or people get hurt.  i know someone now who sees a single guy - he's seeing the female of a couple - feelings got involved & he's actively having what I deem an "affair" with this woman. someone always gets hurt when you can't keep the zipper up & frankly why the fuck did the couples get married to start with?just my opinion

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