F59
Need help please guys and girls!
June 06 2009
Comments
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RHP User
17 years ago
From your profile photos you appear fine jesus does he want a stick insect? Yes he does sound a little shallow self centred even if he's a so so lover, i'm satisfied thank you. I usually write down all the goods things and bad things about someone and if the good things out number the bad things i'm not doing to badly after all. Don't know if thats been any help at all? E-mail me some other foto's but like i said you look fine on your profile. Good luck...Michael
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RHP User
17 years ago
RENA,you are same height as me,I weigh 72kg,i know i have to loose a few more kilos to be almost the perfect figure for my height. regards.......Mrs LOTUS
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RHP User
17 years ago
Rena sorry to say this but take blinkers off if he is good eough to sleep with u then ur not fat and since when has 80 kgs bn fat. He is real swallow and if i were you would comment on his performance in bedroom and see how he likes it dats my opinion FIREBIRD1967
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RHP User
17 years ago
Rena, you know that you are more than fine, its whats in the book not whats on the cover, and BTW there is nothing wrong with the cover!
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RHP User
17 years ago
If you're good enough to sleep with at 5'1 and 80kgs, then frankly you should be good enough to be girlfriend material at that same dimensions. Either a: He really is an extremely superficial 'man' who cares about what other people think if he's seen walking around with someone who's not a supermodel barbie in his arms. b: He's using any excuse not to take the relationship that step further and attacking where a lot of women are most vulnerable...their physical appearances. Or both. Either way he seriously doesn't want to have a relationship with you other than the current status quo. And yes, from a health perspective, unless that's 80kgs of pure muscle, it is rather on the overweight side, but not dangerously obese. If you want to lose weight, lose weight for the right reasons, your health, not because some arsehole tells you you're too fat to be his girlfriend, but fine for just a sex buddy.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I suppose when you go to his house, your also cleaning and maybe doing his washing? maybe cooking too? Come on Gypsy....take the blinkers off darlin. Your a gorgeous woman and should be treated as such , not taken advantage of. Can you honestly look at him an without a doubt knowing hes the one for you.... sounds all a bit one sided to us. Its easy to get hooked on a guy when youve got low self asteem.....hey think weve all done that on here. If he cant accept you the way you are, which is the way you were when you met no doubt then hes never going now or the future. He doesnt deserve your love, sorry. Save yourself the grief Gypsy darling and in a word NEXT!!!!!! You seem like a smart woman, be honest to your self....theres someone out there for you who will cherish you just the way you are. Leelee xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
Your post touched us a lot, on one hand you have said you are prepared to give it your all in fact you in many ways alraedy have. Then to have weight etc thrown up as an issue is just poor taste in our view. As was stated earlier if you are good enough to bed then you are good enough to be with. The question really here is what is the connection from what you have indicated you may feel more strongly for him than he does for you he just has not got the intestinal fortitude to actually peak his mind for fear of loosing the bed companion that he has in you at present. Sorry if this sounds harsh but this is the way it looks. If weight is an issue has he offered to support you in your desire to loose some more? If not then there is another gauge of his intentons if he really felt strongly for you he would be openly supporting you in everything you are about not closting you away and putting you down. We are sorry but this may be a wake up call get out this is not worth it.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Gyspy girl!!!!!!!!! What a pathetic excuse!!!!! This guy is using your so called "fat" as an excuse not to be a couple????? but he'll still sleep with you????? Tell him to go & get well & truly F*^$d!! Love really is blind! It's making you blind to the fact that this person you are wasting your affection on is an idiot. It's a big wide RHP world out there,, go fishing,, you got the right bait,,lol. I'm sure you'll catch a real winner. you deserve it.
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Loveknot
17 years ago
My heart goes out to you gypsy but the bottom line is A: he doesn’t want to commit could he say it any clearer? You have to believe him when he says this, its where he is at, its his truth. Its sounds as though this is something that you seek? some sort of intimate connection and commitment. He says no. What part of that don’t you understand? B: He says your too fat, wtf. Does this mean he would commit if you lost kilos? Or maybe you could dye your hair, change your look and start behaving differently, your good enough to be involved in a sexual relationship and acceptable to have around his children and family. Which brings me back to A he doesn’t want to commit! When you accept less than what you want and know you deserve it erodes your feeling of self worth and you find yourself getting less and less of your needs met. The next step is turning it on yourself “oh if I only lost weight, or something he would want me” oh if only! Hence you are posting looking for outside validation that you are ok. Yes gypsy you are perfect just the way you are. The problem here isn’t you or even him for that matter the problem as I see it is that you have different needs at this time in your life. Let him go, tell him you want more and if you cant have it from him free yourself to find it with someone else. You deserve it, your worth it. xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
Short and simple, piss him off. If he's able to say that now, then he's more than capable of being even more cruel down the track. It does just sound like a cop-out too. You'll have the 'honeymoon' stage with someone else, there's plenty more fish...
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RHP User
17 years ago
Honey stop beating yourself up He is just after a friend with benefits its actually sad that the kids are involved The fact that he said your fat is a cop out...honey your just fine the way you are..it is what is under the skin that counts If your after more, than he is not the one...you need to feel special and feel sexy with who your with...FFs Im sure he is not perfect either...its the flores that make us unique and different my god Id love to be 80kgs but Im happy and like me for me sweetheart he is no good for your self confidence..and he will give you insecurities if you stick around its hard but you deserve so much better fuck I hope he reads all these posts..he needs a wake up call chin up and go find yourself a caring sensual lover and friend..plenty on here
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RHP User
17 years ago
Oh he didn't......... Gypsy, just wondering- Say you do lose the weight get fit etc etc, and he turns around and still can't commit-will you be ok with this? I know it is hard with the kids involved and all, but seriously..... the other posters have knocked it on the head. By all means, lose weight, for healths sake, and if need be use this guy as motivation (Only fair as he is using you). Hard as it may be though, i think you already know the answer. BTW- Congratulations on losing so much weight in the first place,Tip's me hat off to ya ; ) Ditch the arsehole and get a real man, we are out there mate good luck
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RHP User
17 years ago
Anybody who makes hurtful comments based on a persons' physical attributes is an arsehole. How can a person love a person who treats them like this? Tell him the truth about how his comment has hurt you and dump him
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RHP User
17 years ago
There's been some very sensible comments made on your predicament already... which ring very true. So what I'm about to say probably has no bearing on the matter... but here goes from a guy whose often the square peg trying to fit in the round hole. Trying to think about this laterally rather than judgmentally. Okay... probably the guy is looking for excuses... and you being a bit cuddly seems a lame one. To my feeble mind, and knowing that this is unlikely, the only credible reason for him asking you to trim down is one of facilitating the sex act better. You say he is not extra large in the downstairs department, so he may have a bit of a penetration problem? The vulva of women vary a bit, and extra padding in that area can add a little distance to your vagina opening. A chap's erection is dependent on how highly stimulated he is sexually, so even a small penis usually stretched that extra bit when very highly aroused. Him not being the romantic type might not be helpful either, if foreplay is minimal? If fat really is the problem, then the extra padding of your vulva can be removed by a little liposuction. But in his case, his mental state contributes to his maximum arousal, so often a little kinkiness contributes greatly in this area, if one is that way inclined. A smaller penis responds well to a penis pump, and use of one regularly is like muscle building for the penis. Over use of a penis pump is not advised. Next there's viagra, which should enhance any erection. Failing all that, then he needs to see a doctor to check his testosterone levels etc. All these factors need to be considered as a guy ages. The old saying... that if a guy does not use it, he'll lose it... holds very true. Now the idea of liposuction on your vulva is a bit drastic and only applies when desperately needed. A lady needs to be really obese for that to apply, and your backside photo looks too cute for that to be the case. Of course there is another reason to ask you to trim down. If he truly loves you, then he may wish for your union to be a long and healthy one. But that scenario seems a bit naive and guileless.
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RHP User
17 years ago
LOSE HIM....seriously what a dickwad to say that you are TOO FAT!! FFS....how could you love someone who can put that shit on you! Life is too short to settle.....keep fishing I say :)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Sorry to say it, but he's obviously making excuses. If he isn't that into you then its not likely to change. Unfortunately 'friends with benefits' can turn sour because one falls for the other. Being seperated I can understand where he's coming from about not wanting to commit just yet, but you can't spend your life waiting for something that may or may not happen. My advice and that of the majority is to give him the flick. It may be hard now that there are kids involved but it doesn't get any easier.
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RHP User
17 years ago
What Casava said..... You deserve better!
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RHP User
17 years ago
I understand that you love him and that it hurts, but sometimes a horrible ending is better than horrors without end. Gary & Renay
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RHP User
17 years ago
Mwahs Rena, I read your profile, perused your pics, re-read your post & the great advice given by fellow rhper's!!! Not too much more I could add to their sound advice! Several points I would like you to ponder............... Inner Beauty is a quality you definetly have in abundance! You have a Beautiful body, functioning & sustaining you thru Life, including the womanly curves you have currently! You are an Intelligent, Articulate, Sensual & Passionate Woman, appreciate yourself! You are an INDIVIDUAL!!! Uniquely YOU!!! Inner Beauty overflows from wihin you, appreciate it in its abundance!! Live your life FULLY each day knowing you live in a state of Grace!! Time is Precious!!!! You have an Incredible Life Journey ahead of you!!! Step up Gurl & take the Challenges!!! Move FORWARD NOW!!! Dont LOOK BACK!!! UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO DISCOVER IT!!!! Go Gurl n Achieve your Dreams!! Huggles, Dom xoxoxox btw............ Throw back the "Sardine" that John West rejected, grab a "Marlin" n feel the thrill of a big fish babe!!! Cos you sure got the right "bait" to land one!!! Enjoy your RHP Journey!!!
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RHP User
17 years ago
The fact that you've had the determination to lose 27kg and the courage to post this post makes you as sexy as hell. Some guys just don't know when they got it good.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Just mulling over CaptJackSparrow's sensible reply, and more thoughts descended regarding the above mentioned guy's desire not to take his friendship with benefits further at this time. If by chance he's divorced and finds his wealth has been halved, then the present arrangement may suit him. People who are well lubricated with funds are going to see them dry up if they enter too many unions that aren't going to last forever. But then an honorable person should tell the truth, lame excuses are usually indicative of people grasping at straws. Sorry for being apologetic for this chap's apparent poor form.
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RHP User
17 years ago
He just aint into ya ! Sorry...
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RHP User
17 years ago
Sorry to be so blunt about this but I'm surprised at the age of 42 you haven't figured it out yet. A Pastor told me this once at a christian camp; His not going to buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free. I know that hurts, but you need to wake up to yourself and stop the sex until he puts a ring on your finger or you'll never get one.
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RHP User
17 years ago
gypsy take it from someone who was 100kilos and thought most of years as a young woman that men had the right to speak down to us because r suppose to be the strong sex WRONG Something i also have learn if u dont love your body in all its glory then u give permission to others to hurt u and u letting this man do this Gypsy raise the bar walk away dont settle second best i use to and now well the men i meet respect my body my mind and my feeling if u dont have the 3 then his not the man for u End of the day u make the the choice stay and get tatto on your back welcome doormat or shout I AM WOMAN HEAR M ROAR be proud your choice good luck
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RHP User
17 years ago
Was a bit alarmed to read sarahfun's recommendation... Turning off the sex seems like bribery to me? Surely the sex is being had because both are benefitting from it... as in carnal pleasure. Though people meet on RHP and marry... I'm not aware of RHP's prime purpose being a matrimonial agency? That surely is a bonus. If people initially meet to enjoy a mutual bonk, then at what point in the game is it permissible to move the goals? That then begs the question, "Are people coming to RHP with the wrong expectations?" I expect that the fantasy of many who frequent here is the wish for unlimited and unbridled sex without unnecessary consequences... if they are healthy and use contraception. This does not only apply to men but also women. My experience is that many here are serial bonkers. Sampling the goods, then moving on. If they are not doing it, then it's highly likely that they are lusting after it. Many do just that. Call it greedy or call it a sexual addiction. Some even partake in dogging and gang bangs. Even the married ones. 'Friends with Benefits' makes it a bit less impersonal. But not everyone makes this an exclusive practice involving a sense of ownership. The tricky bit is escaping the honey trap once it is set.
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blondes6365
17 years ago
this guy should grow up were not all ken and barbie
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RHP User
17 years ago
sorry to read ur post i remember when u first joined rhp i was probably one of the first to ask u out(unfortunally she turned ne down folks)and i asked u out because i likeed what i saw in ur profile not how much u weighed and then when i spoke 2 u the cutest voice and the sexiest i didnt question"what weight u where"futhermore didnt care i was captivated the only thing thats wrong here is how u feel about yourself hes a loser he doesnt mind shagging u and my guess is if u were a supermodel he'd say u were 2 skinny as long as u stay with him u'll keep feeling that ur never good enough for him hes never going to change his mind tell u what lose min pretty quick and look over in the corner i'll be there with my hand raised stillllll lol maxwell xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
i bet there is a gazzillion blokes and ladies out there that wish thier partner looked different for a whole host of reasons.. do they say anything about it? NO.. so you're lucky the bloke appears to be honest with you. being honest with somone about somthing difficult shows quite a bit of respect i think.. so that's a plus. and people... why do we scorn those who are prepared to put their hand up and say this or that is not atractive? can't we just accept that some people don't find other people atractive.. what he does find atractive is the other bits of you (soul)... so that's a plus too. and why do we seem to have the opinion that all people in love should commit/shack up.. one size does not fit all. i totaly love a few ladies.. but would i live with any of them.. or anyone.. nope. i just like my own space etc... and any woman who tried to live with me would go mad... i'm very sure of this.. so maybe what you have is not so bad?? but i think all these people calling him a looser because he does not fit the "standard beige person mold" is a bit hard core. he may well be a looser, but being honest with you about not wanting to have a commited relationship and your physique is a bit harsh. LRE (who values honest comunication, and not spell checkers)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hi Gypsy, really listen to what you are saying. If a friend of your approached you with the same dilema you would tell her to snap out of it and get rid of him. So why the difference?? Only because you have developed unrealistic idea of what the relationship has been maybe??. Realisticly from a male point of view you would never say that to a partner even if that was what you felt. You would only say that to someone where it would not matter if they stayed or left. So the reality is just that. No one should make any individual feel inadequate so please for your own sanity GET THE F@** OUT OF THERE AND FIND SOMEONE WHO ADORES you for who and what you are. We all have minor faults but his attitude is to great to ignore and stay.. Marc
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RHP User
17 years ago
i should also say.. well done on the wieght loss. and to answer your question is 80 kgs to heavy. i think that's for you to answer. what we all think should be irrelevant to you. personaly i think shape is more important than weight.. but that is only me. one insignificant drop in the sea. sorry for not adressing your initial before, i just wanted to comment on all the "judge judies". LRE (glad you measure in metric.. mostly)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hey there, When I read your post, it occurred to me, that if he cared about you and your feelings, he wouldn't have made the fat remark, wouldn't the fact that he isn't ready be enough? Congrats on the weight loss...
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RHP User
17 years ago
"i don't want to go into details..." what the hell did you leave out? on the one hand it may seem a bit shallow but there are other issues too. Obesity is costing us millions of dollars in health care and some people don't want their kids growing up with that sort oif influence. that probably isn't his issue but i do know several people like that....
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RHP User
17 years ago
I don't think I can add anything to this post, everyone speaks the truth here; but at the end of the day go with your heart. I do agree with the holding out on him bit, a guy has nothing to lose in the situation you're giving him, sounds to me too that the kids will give him a hard time! well done on the 27kg loss! Have you triend gaining about 7 inches in height? lol get platform shoes? or maybe stand on his dick?
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RHP User
17 years ago
I cant thank you guys enough! you've all given me bloody awesome advice...(ummm...but there's no wayyyyy in hell I'm gettin my bits liposucked!) :p Can I just add tho....I'M NOT OBESE! but thank you anyhow for your concern whatever your name was!?!?!?!? I deep down already know it's just a lame ass excuse of his...and that's cool...coz he's got a few little problems of his own....so it's easier to hurt someone else, than deal with your own issues I think!?!?! Anyhow!...thank you allllllllll so much..I really appreciated all of this!...but it's over now :) Rena xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
Shallow is one word for it! If you read properly all the 'details', you'd be able to work out that this man is not rejecting this woman because he wants to set a good example for his children.
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RHP User
17 years ago
how do feel in yourself what did you end up deciding to do anyway which ever way you go you need to feel special......hell we all do....hope all works out cheers
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hey Rena, glad to here you've moved on, I was going to post earlier to say you should. I just read your initial post again and I notice that confidence was the big thing you said was lacking. If I can make a suggestion here; I think you should join a gym and do some group classes and take up at least one team sport. The Les Mills classes are great, it's mostly women in the classes and I've seen girls develop a lot of confidence through group fitness. And as for a team sport, try a unisex sport like mixed netball or touch footy, it's a great way to meet some hot guys. cheers, RHG
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RHP User
17 years ago
Like everyone else has said... its nothing to do with your weight, he's looking for an excuse. If he's been happy to sleep with you for 6 months then obviously he doesn't find your weight unattractive... yet somehow it stops him from committing to anything more?? Maybe if you weighed 50kg he'd then think you need put on a few?
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RHP User
17 years ago
Personally, you are right, he is SHALLOW & seriously not worthy of your attentions let alone love !!! I know of a similar scenario with someone I know on here, not well, but she became smitten after 3 weeks with someone who was totally NOT her type. I won't go into any details - not fair on either party - but suffice to say her profile is now hidden while he is actively on here 24/7 gathering up a harem, or so it seems. She is utterly heartbroken & I don't blame her. So..........as to the shallow guy ?? Seriously, if after this amount of time he decides you're not worthy of being in a "relationship" with because of your looks...........dump the bastard. A week or 10 of crying would be way better than 6 months down the track waking up & realising he's probably been seeing/flirting with a skinny shallow chick online
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RHP User
17 years ago
When it all boils down to it, is there honestly any future in guys you meet off dating/sex sites ???? Sure, there are a minority of genuine guys on here, but aren't the majority just looking for cheap thrills ??? Don't they just tell you what you want to hear to keep you interested ??? It's hard, you meet who you think is the perfect person, but what are they really doing on here ??? Looking for sex. They could meet their soul mate on here, but will probably continually look for something better - especially divorced guys !!! They're single for a reason and have no intention of settling down - been there, done that and want to experience as many women as possible. Are they truthful with what they're doing ??? Not on your nelly !! I know who hotblonde52 is referring to and I feel honestly sorry for her. She didn't ask to feel that way and she is a very reserved person who has put up with a lot in her past from idiotic males who seriously cannot tell the difference between truth and fiction. So if that was me in that situation, I wouldn't hesitate to put up with the heartache and move on. It's hard enough being judged for what hair colour we have let alone our size. Move on sweetheart, he is so not worthy of your attentions
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RHP User
17 years ago
somone says "hey i've enjoyed your company but i don't find you attractive enough to go any further" and he's shallow? what's wrong with having oppinions about what's atractive? surely you lot would not marry somone you found unatractive if they were the nicest person in the universe? but you may want to still be freinds with them and enjoy their company right? or even be intimate occasionaly if it felt right? and sodd the bugger for actualy sharing his thoughts and being honest. no no.. much better to lie to gypsyblue and hang in there playing her for all she's worth. really? your kidding me... LRE (hates tar and feathers)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Im with LRE on this one, at least the guy is being honest, would you much prefer he lie to you or do things behind your back. Toughen up, we all hear things that we dont like now and then, thats life. shy
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RHP User
17 years ago
He sounds like a jackass to me and here's what I'd do. Next time you're sucking the cock, right before he blows get up and walk away. Tell him he's a bit underendowed for your tastes. Wait a bit to see his reaction. You can then tell him you're not serious but at least he knows what it feels like. If he'g going to be embarrassed to be seen with you, then you don't want to be around him. Going by the pics and your weight, I don't think you're fat. He, most of us gain a few pounds and they lose their hair. Better to find out he's a jack now than later.
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RHP User
17 years ago
honey i am exactly the same dimensions hahaha, i get told im beautiful all the time, by my husband and others. i would not wait, he will never change and clearly is using you. i was always under the impression if they dont love you for who u are fuck them. babe kick him to the curb, you deserve better.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Gypsy, sounds like you and I have been going through the same things of late and I can really relate to every word you wrote... all i can say is LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY ( which by the sounds of things you have ...bravo) It is extremely hard to do when the person in question knows how to push your emotional buttons... but for your sanity's sake DON'T LOOK BACK.... as given the chance, he will just try new buttons. Before you know it you have wasted years on someone that was never worthy of what you were offering in the first place. To address the actual question weither 80kg is too fat?... hunny if i was 80kg I would be jumping for joy and loving every minute of it!!!! Embrace what you have Gypsy (which i might add is a very pretty package... not that i am into girls lol ) Congrats on the weight you have lost already, and if you haven't already, then please consider adding his mass onto your weight loss goal chart ... you will be very pleasantly surprised by how much lighter still you will feel in your heart once you rid yourself of his emotional baggage. Honest or not there are other ways to tell someone you are concerned about something so personal, sounds like a cop out to me, if your weight was THAT much of an issue you wouldn't have become intimate in the first place. Hope you heal quickly, for there are far prettier horizons ahead =)
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RHP User
16 years ago
i thought i had it rough .... but seriously his excuse for not commiting is that you were fat ... ummm but he is quite happy to use u as a cumbucket ? ( with very crappy sex at that ) hunny you are not fat ... i myself am 5 foot 3 and im pretty sure i weigh the same if not more ... and i deff dont think im fat sure i can lose a few kilo and firm a few bits up ... but i am wearing average sized ( NORMAL SIZE) clothing ... 14 all round ... maybe even smaller sizes up top ive had ONE ex first tell me i woz the biggest chick he had slept with (i woz size 14 when i met him) and then say i woz too fat to fuck anymore (after about a year of living together and i had gotten to a size 16 tetering on 18) and his best mate had to tell me why we werent romantic anymore .... that cut deep ... gave him 6 months ( and convinced myself he woz a tosser and making me very unhappy) and got rid of him ... i lost tons of weight (in no time) that i had gained while i woz with him and the loser stalked me for 2 years begging for me back ive never turned back tried being adult and be friends with him ( as we work at the same factory) but he couldnt grow up and he woz 8 years older than me .... it woz the best thing i have ever done hence why i joined this site and a few others when i moved back into my folks 6 years ago .... ive attracted assholes all my life and still occ. do but this way i c an be choosy YOU DESERVE BETTER and by the way if it woz just a f-buddy situation u would have never met his kids or his friends or his family i believe it woz a relationship u were in and he just wanted to still be free to fuck who he likes and keep u on the bench
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RHP User
16 years ago
Rena, I know you could probably not bear to part with your man, I am sure that he has seduced you with his words. Now it is okay to be with a man, whether he is good in bed or not, as long as you are satisfied emotionally and mentally. This is plain to see that you are not. But, before you can break away from him, you need a support system in place, lots of friends, because this is going to be one drug that is hard to break. And with regards to your weight, it is not how someone else sees you, it is how you see yourself. You are to be congratulated on losing 1/5 of your body weight already. WELL DONE!! Good luck Rena
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RHP User
16 years ago
Okay I will take the bait! Let me get this straight. You are too fat for him to 'be with' but not too fat for him to fuck? (as long as you don't get seen together?) You know that saying "he is not really into you", well guess what? I and many other guys prefer fuller figured women (which I think your height and weight indicates rather than 'obese') but one guys full figured is another guys too fat. I think you got the shallow part right! If you are happy with a 'friend with benefits' then okay stick with it and enjoy it for what it is, but if you want something a little more serious everything says this is not the guy for you and to move on before you are hurt. Sorry to be blunt but sounds like you deserve better, good luck with your search Rena.
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RHP User
16 years ago
As a man, what this so called man is doing and saying to you is nasty and cruel. Do not be his victum, do not accept this treatment from him. I know of men like him, they are USERS, dont be his Greg
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RHP User
16 years ago
Rena you are silly if you think that he is worth waiting for he is just here on this site for the sex. you need to keep yor mind on the target "LOVE OR SEX" if love then look else where if sex then stay
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well all I am going to say about that is... IF HE REALLY LOVED YOU, YOUR SIZE WOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE..... My wife's weight goes up and down all the time and you know what?!! She is always beautiful to me and I always love making love to her. Put it this way, If as you say, he is NOT that good in bed and NOT that well built, then maybe he is using you cos he can't get anyone else to put up with his selfishness and inadequacies. Trust me, as a male, there are alot more mature, sensitive, caring and "Better" in bed men out there for you to build your life with.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Rena: You deserve better. Be truthful to yourself you are beautiful and worthy of a considerate, respectful friend/lover who, maybe at some stage is prepared to commit to you whole heartedly. I have a friend whose partner is about your size andyou could not find a better person. it is about character and personality when you get to the stage of a more seriously than a f/b or fwb situation. Tell this so called male who is lousey in bed to go forth and multiply as soon as you can and find find someone who is worthy of you. DO NOT TRY AND MEET SOME ELSES IDEALS.... BE YOU AND NO ONE ESLE. pegasus8
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi, commend you for putting yourself out there! I'm 6'2" and weigh 91 kgs, and I ant NO male model. In all honesty, I like the thinner lady. It takes 28 days (or 32, depends on your sources. lol) to change a habit. Slowly work your way up a diet that suits YOUR life style. Not someone else's who has written a best seller cook book!!!! TRY THIS........ Think of the days/ weight of when you were happy, grab the knuckle of a finger (any finger) and with the opposite hand, squeeze the skin above it whilst thinking of those days/ weight. Now do this each and every time you go to eat something. Remember, NOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, think of the 'goood ole days' of how you NOW want to look! Do this EACH and EVERY time you go to eat. Cheaper than gyms, easier than dieting! This advise is free and offers a 100% money back guarantee!!! lol. And best of all... it WORKS! Let me know how you go, that goes for anyone on here! R
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RHP User
16 years ago
Not good in bed Not romantic mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that should make u think for starters And says you too big ** BULLSHIT ** Excuse me!! You was good enough in th beginning why not now ?? It's NOT u 80 kg is nothing Your a Plus Size Lady so what It's INSIDE what counts INSIDE YOUR BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE YOUR BEAUTIFUL DONT let anyone tell you DIFFERENT
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RHP User
16 years ago
Move on with your life WITH OUT HIM I had a lover for 28years and was never promised anything sadly his wife passed away unexpected 21/2 Years ago during those 28years I was always there when he had troubles, re his children work domestic issues ect in june this year he told me he had found someone else and wanted to be just friends.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Honestly, at that weight you are medically overweight, but, are you happy with the size you are? Do you feel sexy and womanly and pretty and all of those things. I know they are nice to hear from others but you have to feel it yourself, If you do, and you are in good health then what you weigh really is not the problem or any one elses business. Your post reads as though you may consider losing weight to be with this guy and even if you try to, if it is for this reason it wont work because you wont be doing it for yourself. He is happy to sleep with you, but if he feels you are too fat he is saying he is embarrassed by it, he does not want others to know. You deserve to be with someone better than that. You say yourself he is shallow and not that good in bed, if you were together could you live with that long term? I understand you are saying you love the guy and I am not going to tell you what to do, but I hate to hear you are suffering like you are with this as he does not seem very worthy of your time. A bit of soul searching is what you need, more than you need our opinions, but if you do decide the give him the flick then you know you have the support of so many behind you, and if you hang in there then I wish you all the best. Be true to yourself and be strong. x Sal
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RHP User
16 years ago
been in the exact same spot gypsy and have recently walked away from it.u deserve better and best to find someone who feels the same.u cant make someone love u trust me.ive tried and it doesnt work.all the best.ox.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hello I read your note here and you sound like a very normal person and you look fineI would say if a person is good enough to have a relationship with then they weight is not a problem It may be hard but you just have to move on.He is lonely using your weight as an excuse.For me I would be much more interested in the person than there figure YOU do not live with a figure its the person who you move in with Good luck move on you will find some one who cares its only a matter of timeRob
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RHP User
16 years ago
how hard is it, go on a diet
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RHP User
16 years ago
Gypsy... I hope you've worked out your dilemma Quoting 'Blue_Movies' how hard is it, go on a dietDo you really think that's going to help AND respectfully, I can't imagine you 'going on a diet' for any fella!HugsMrsP
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RHP User
16 years ago
Rena, this is what's known as a smokescren objection.....if he's happy enough to jump your bones on a regular basis, meet the folks and the kids etc then your weight should not be an issue. You have said that it's over and perhaps that's for the best. I know it hurts but sound like it wasnt meant to be. You deserve (and so do we all) someone who loves you for who you are. True love transcends things like being a bit overweight....you sound like a hottie with a great and loving personality. Congrats for losing 27kg's !! That must have taken some effort.....!! Good luck in life and love and it's in your destiny to find someone who will cherish you top to bottom despite any perceived failings you have.....geesus, nobody's perfect ! So dust yourself off and get out there baby ! Dog.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Peachypear' Gypsy... I hope you've worked out your dilemma Quoting 'Blue_Movies' how hard is it, go on a dietDo you really think that's going to help AND respectfully, I can't imagine you 'going on a diet' for any fella!HugsMrsP what a strange comment, especially as you dont know me. The man has articulated himself clearly. The message has been received. Lose it or lose him. mwah
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RHP User
16 years ago
I know you fall in love with the person, inner beauty, etc, etc... (and leaving aside whether this guy is coming up with an excuse)But how does one tell their partner "honey, you've gotten a bit porky"? I think that would be an incredibly tough thing to do.Perhaps he is not using it as a "you'll never lose the flab so i'll never need to buy a ring", but as added incentive to get yourself down to a more svelte figure. Plenty of people get to a certain weight and, though they want to be slimmer, never really get the motivation to lose the rest and just sit around going "I wanna lose a bit more", never do, and aren't truly happy with themselves.I think it is awesome that you've lost 27kg already.
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