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RHP

RHP User

M63

My jealousy problems...

September 16 2012

So I'm having a little morning wank and I hear this whiny voice."Why do we always do it this way?""Eh?""Well you could show a little creativity! You always cuddle me like this."So here I am having some private time and I'm getting grief from my pillow. I'm not sure what I've done to deserve this? But I don't recall pissing on Mother Theresa and I defiantly haven't donated to Tony Abotts campaign fund. It's quite distracting. I roll onto my back annoyed."Don't be all heavy and sigh like that. You haven't even finished yet.""What the fuck do you expect, my pillow is talking to me!""Well you talked to the woman you had over here the other week. All soft and gentle like.""Ummm, Yes, she's a woman. Not a pillow""Well I couldn’t make out what you were saying, but she seemed to like it. I bet you were talking about me!""I was not fucking talking about you!""Oh so now I'm not important to you. I sleep with you every night. I'm always here and you don't respect me.""You're right, It's never crossed my mind."Through the window I see the first long shadows of the sunrise. The day looks like it could be inviting. The sun has caught the tops of the tree over the road. I watch them sway a little in the breeze. But the pillow gives me no peace."You spent ages just lying next to her ticking her back.""Well she liked it. She responded to it and made me feel special.""Ha!. She is the Cat's Mother. Anyway, I'd respond to you if I had arms.""Great! You're playing the disabled card on me now..""It's not my fault I have no arms but I'd sure as hell slap you now if I did."Enough. I get up out of bed and make a bee line for the kitchen. I wonder if the coffee pot will have issues with me about something? I fucking hope not. I'm getting a hot mug and going to sit on the veranda and watch those trees. They talk to me in a different way.Over my shoulder I hear."I'm not going to be here tonight. You'll be sorry!"It's right, I'm going to drown the fucker in my washing machine after I finish my coffee. Who else gets jealousy from someone/thing?

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    dont get me started on the jealousy from someone aspect (but just for those who nknow Im at 72 hours no contact keeping my fingers crossed) however two of my books are arguing over which one I am spending more time with and so are 2 pairs of shoes.....Im contemplating wearing one of each of them so they get over that tiff - shame they dont have the same heel height   Kisses Focus

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I had no idea that my pillow had sooo much erotic potetial LRE.I shall look at all four of them with new eyes,mmmm particularly those large Europeans.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I pulled up in my car in front of a car yard and fantasised about swapping my current model for a shiny new one. 10 minutes later my car swerved into a pot hole and gave me a flat tyre.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Size 12 Jeans ...currently has issues   Hanging in the cupboard all winter....many promises were made to them ..that yes I will bring you out ..wear you and show you off this winter mmm I lied........its the extra 10 kilos around tummy, butt and thighs causing all the problems...why wont 10 kilos justlike piss off on their own accord ?? whats the story there ??   And living in Perth with 29 being the temp here today...come here pretty summer maxi dresses - which btw hide a multitude of physical imperfections (namely 10 kilos)..... Jeans havent got a hope ...Im sorry Im sorry...you want to go back and live in 18 degree summer heat of Melbourne ??   And dont start me on the many cheap accumulated paperbacks sitting on my library shelf...unread........there is pure evil hate sessions happening between them and the beloved Kindle who makes it into my handbag and goes every where with me.....   Ive reassured them that their time will come again though....Kindle- beach - sand...dont mix - so settle boys...you will be acknowledged in a few weeks   Oh the grief....   And now to go and make peace with th bathroom scales...a constant battle of wills

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    :-) I got nothing ...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Hang on tight LRE, I fear your losing your grip on reality. Cheers Felonious

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    one comes to mind instantly............   Drugs or mental health issues?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    MsVelvet - please please do not get me started on the bathroom scales (I purchased some a few months ago and we argued too much I threw them away)...Im with you abotu those extra 10 kgs (though I think another 15 in my case would be helpful) cant they just disappear...now those dresses you were talking about where can I get them??   Kisses Focus

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I suggest you clean the fish in a trough out the back like the rest of us..@felonius And I regard reality as subjective.. ~smiles~

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Well LRE my Ducati has been having hissy fits since I started to walk to work....   I have told her that she won't have to cart my overweight arse 'round corners at insane speeds but she has been playing hard to start....   Mike

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I've always wanted a bike that will start when it feels ready, has electrics that have a mind of their own and a note like ten bassoons being played by a rhinoceros. I'm quite jealous. I’d love an old 750SS with the bikini fairing. ~sigh~

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    ... rumor has it that the tan m&m was insanely jealous when he was outed and then replaced by the blue one in 1995, but no one was jealous of Carlton's pale blue footy jumper it wore for 1 game to promote the idea

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    ... this little thread. Puts a smile on my dial. KK :-)

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  • Cheekyarses

    Cheekyarses

    13 years ago

    Love it!! This is hilarious...... Jealousy is a curse :-)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I just got the significance of your first post.Do we have a raise on 72?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Ditch that pillow LRE.... you don't have to put up with that crap from anyone.   A man should feel free to have a morning wank without input from his pillow.     Coincidentally I woke in the small hours last night and thought " something is wrong", after groping around for what seemed like hours, I had to turn the light on to find my fave pillow.   It had left me and gone to sleep at the other end of the bed.   Ah pillows,....... can't live with 'em and can't live without........sheesh. I feel for ya m8!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Hi! LRE :) Please say hi! for me to your friends in your Alternate reality you're now visiting .. You can let me know how it all went .... Did you have fun or felt verbally abused ..If you met and chilled with any Famous People Like Charlie Sheen , rumplesilkskin ha!ha!.. Man you're a very unique Individual that's for sure .. Since your Topic is Jealousy from someone or Something..Then My Reply is. No I don't experience it I won't condone it in any of My Relationships with anyone or anything it's way too Negative... My Cat Kobi gets a little territorial about our Home when another cat Coc comes in to visit me ..strolls around inside... Kobi stalkes the other Cat on occassion when he is in here they have a quick light exchange where Kobi lets Coc know this is his home ..That's about it..That's the closest that jealousy is in My Life from anyone or anything.. Keep your Posts coming Hun I enjoy them because they tend to be so warped and on occassion informative too Cheers Lu :)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    hi! Hun :) Well all I can say is you obviously haven't been giving your Girl(Car) reassurance that you really think she's sleek and fine....Never complimenting her on her looks or Performance .. Nor Caressing her . and .whispering sweet nothings to her as you used too when she was New... Nor do you now focus on Sensually washing her being 1 with her when you are sliding the the soapy sponge over her willing body.. being so attentive to her special spots..and hosing her down making her sparkle..it's just a chore .. To make things worse you're seeking out new fresh Girls (cars) spending time oggling over them and imagining you in control of their every move .lavishing them with trinkets you used to buy your present Girl(car) before she got to be just another 1 ..No longer New exciting but older and worn in with a few little niggly bits .Haaaaaaaaa! Off course she's Upset any Female would be if she felt rejected be it a Human or car ..So lift your Game focus on your Present Love (car)when the times right to part ways you be gentle about it ...Let her know it's you not anything she's done ....Give her a Hug, Kiss and part ways .. Make sure she's gone out of sight before you make a move on your New Love (Car) embraceing her whisper sweet nothings to her ha!ha! .....Cheers Lu ;)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I'm always bemused by statements like "my car swerved into..." bahahaha. So just who is in control here? Herbie is fictious ya know.Cheers Felonious

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Noooooooooooooooooo

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Jealousy is a curse. I sure am cursing that I couldn't solve the jealousy curse between my R1, XR6, New home, Akita puppy and Magna Station Wagon.I said goodbye to my gorgeous faithful, smooth, stunning, perfect bodied 05 R1 (miketheduc, no issues with that gorgeous bike) and my XR6 a year ago and swapped the jealousy of those two for a Magna Station Wagon (non attractive, few imperfections, but works great) and a gorgeous Akita Puppy (unconditionally loving, cheeky as). Jealousy is gone, but boy am i cursing. I loved that R1 & XR6 but i do love my Akita puppy more.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    5 days and counting (well close enough) - woohoo!!   Kisses Focus

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I stepped up my game and gave her a nice lube when I got home

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    You are correct. My comment did represent a level of unaccountability seeing how factually real this thread is. Of course my car did not swerve of it's own accord. Its was the pothole that moved into my path

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    A Magna?!!All that other stuff was so cool. And I don't even care for Fords. But a Magna Waggon?!But the doggy sounds cool. ~smiles~ Quoting '0_Angel_Eyes_0' ....Jealousy is gone, but boy am i cursing. I loved that R1 & XR6 but i do love my Akita puppy more.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Hi! Hun So You should ha!ha!ha! Oh! Luv it.!! She's been there for you in many ways ... keeping you warm dry....whilst the rain pelted around you .. Keeping you safe when you slept in her too drunk to drive Home .. She didn't comment when you shagged a hot Female you just met on your Her(Cars) rear seat.. She didn't seem to mind when you ignored her went off for the night with another (mates car) Oh! I could keep going but I will leave it at that..As long as you get the idea she's important in your Life treat her as such1 ha!ha! Enjoy Lu :)

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  • wannabyummymummy

    wannabyummymummy

    13 years ago

    my kindle apparently isnt feeling the love at the moment since i have taken to pole dancing for fitness it complained about how i used to spend hours with it, gently caressing it with each page turn, now i am caressing a nice shiny pole betweebn my thighs and while hubby is not complaining the damn kindle will just not let up "what about me?' 'when are you coming back to me?' maybe i need to perfect my pole sit so i can sit there with no hands and read my kindle at the same time.......................will that work? has that even been done before oh dear the delima too much thought for Sat morning

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Yes, yes and then it’s this bloody computer who doesn’t translate my German into English automatically. I can’t do everything……I curse and spit, but noooo computer say noooooo and goes in a freeze….Fucking shit I have to work….come one be nice to me and start again. I know I will be better in 5 seconds I swear I will not have any bad thought towards you, you useless piece of machine. No, no, no I have said that, I didn’t think it , ohh please let me finish my work its Friday, I wonne go home on time. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don’t freeze again. Please, please, I will not use bad language again. I promise…..let me finish this letter..in one hit. I will type gentle and don’t hit the buttons to hard …..OHHH what the fuck you did it again. I give up you win. See ya on Monday.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Don’t go to sleep, she may just smother you. Do not punch her in frustration or she may call the police to come take you away. Do not put on the wrong pillow slip, the one that makes her arse look fat. Stop eating in bed, you are getting crumbs all over her, let alone the dribble when you snore. I think she is pissed off with the sheets as you seem to cum all over them and not on her. Next time when you are wanking, just roll on your tummy and moan into her, a muffled god I love you and your so hot baby. Go and buy one of those big long boy body pillows, even pillows like big ones. cheers Dorothy the Dick whisperer

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