F56
Motel Room
October 01 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hmmmm, depends on the situation. If i want to be in control. I pay. My choice of meeting place, my choice of motel. actually upon reflection.....think i've always paid for the first one......
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RHP User
13 years ago
Normally I would want to pay, as long as it wasn't expectedthat I should pay.Dutch is always good.Sometimes its going to depend on the financial circumstancesof each party. Cheers Felonious
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
well it depends on what type of motel room you are going to get.... if its just the normal one with the basic bed/bathroom I would probably pay.... but if you are going all out with the spa bath etc then maybe you could ask if they other party would like to go halves...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ok....I to prefer to pay personally and if my play date offers half, then who am I to argue??
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RHP User
13 years ago
On who made the suggestion .. and the choice of the motel .. but I personally prefer to go halves ..
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RHP User
13 years ago
maybe its just me...being old fashioned.... as the male I'd be insisting that I pay, but the venue, the room choice etc would be hers.... as would whether i stayed or not.....
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RHP User
13 years ago
If they blow your mind and you are desperate to get them back, pay the fee's buy them breakfast and hail a cab if needed :PWhen in doubt, go halves.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was brought up to make sure a woman never has to pull out her purse while around me I'd be ashamed to call myself a man if a woman paid for my hotel/motel room!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel'maybe its just me...being old fashioned.... as the male I'd be insisting that I pay, but the venue, the room choice etc would be hers.... as would whether i stayed or not..... Ditto!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'UrbanCowboy87'I was brought up to make sure a woman never has to pull out her purse while around me I'd be ashamed to call myself a man if a woman paid for my hotel/motel room!agree fully.......nothing says 'whimp' louder than letting her pay..........
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Ashamed?Really?!DG Absolutely, I'd feel embarrassed if I could not provide for a woman. I guess it's the ethics and morals I was brought up with?
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RHP User
13 years ago
for me, if it's closer to my town, I book the motel and I pay while I'm at it, he offers to reimburse me for half, I refuse, so he then insists on paying for meals. If it's on his turf, he books the motel and pays for it when he books. I offer to reimburse him for half, he refuses, I insist on paying for meals (which he still insists on paying for most of the meals anyway and only lets me pay when he gets the death stare from me).
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'UrbanCowboy87' Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Ashamed?Really?!DG Absolutely, I'd feel embarrassed if I could not provide for a woman. I guess it's the ethics and morals I was brought up with? Theres nothing ethical or moral about having the upper hand.50/50 is fair and equitable ! Want to be noble ? Buy a nice bottle of bubbles And Choccies for afters.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Good Lord Boys! Is your self esteem really so attached to who pays??? I'm independant financially, emotionally and physically.......why be so caught up in if you pay or I pay....
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RHP User
13 years ago
well - talk and ask.. the few playdates I had in motel rooms I offered to pay for, and my friend allowed me to be the gentleman I am... then she paid for lunch so it was nice for both of us to show the appreciation of the other's company :-) But in a small town like Albury-Wodonga keeping it discreet is not easy when you use hotels frequently, so this was not a frequent problem - although I am hoping it will become one sometime soon ;-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
As much about knowing when to not do something, as it is knowing when to do something :). In terms of my personal preference, I find this question tricky. I like to be with a man who is prepared to pay, perhaps even expects to pay - it tells me he's not a Scrooge with his money. I can't abide Scrooges. Either way I'll still pay, at least half but often all. It's the attitude that I'm looking for, not the dollars.
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RHP User
13 years ago
We live in an age of equality broadly speaking, I know womenare still below par on pay scale etc for some reason, butnether the less the world we live in is different to the 50's and60's, most women work and earn their own money. Have similaropportunities in life to men. To my way of thinking automaticallyexpecting that the guy has to pay no questions asked in this dayand age seems patronising to me.If I want to pay for everything, then that's different, and generally if she didn't at least offer to pay half or some sort ofother split, then I would be making a negative judgement about her andher true intent. If the woman insists on paying some proportion thenI'm automatically impressed, right from the start, that then tells meshe comes as an equal partner, by the same token I wouldn't allow a woman to pay for me in total either. Of course there are alwaysexceptions to the rule, and if I knew she was down on her luck ordown to her last 10 bucks, I wouldn't make the same judgements asif she was in a decent job, with the capacity to pay.To me, just opening your wallet isn't chivalry.Cheers Felonious
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RHP User
13 years ago
I like your style! Cheers Felonious
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RHP User
13 years ago
If he suggested a motel then he should pay, mind you you wouldn't want it to be a dump, if he has chosen that then you have every right to refuse, it also tells you a lot about a man and his respect of others
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RHP User
13 years ago
how is 'doing the right thing' having the upper hand? morally or otherwise? its sad that people think that... i pay...always have, always will... my wife pays for nothing, and thats got nothing to do with my ego or self esteem.... its just one of the things thats appropriate to do as the 'man' of the relationship...if you guys are happy to let girls pay...good on you... but thats certainly not who i am...... my last relationship was with a woman (who i met here incidentally), who was worth more than i'll see in my lifetime...but when we went out... i paid....there was no discussion, or argument...the assumption was unspoken, and welcome... its appropriate in my mind...i take 20 minutes and i'm ready to go out...sparkly clean and smelling nice.... women take much longer, and as a token gesture of appreciation for the time and effort thats been invested in her appearance.... paying for a meal, or a room, is entirely ok...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting '50zcool 50/50 is fair and equitable ! Want to be noble ? Buy a nice bottle of bubbles And Choccies for afters. Loving it!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am enjoying this thread immensely! I would say it depends on the status of the relationship.FB /FWB:I think that when a man asks for the meeting (which is more often than not), he should pay for the room. If it was a mutual decision to meet, I would wait for the guy's initiative but I would be ready to pay for half.REAL RELATIONSHIP:Payment should be halved. Except when one is paying as a gift to the partner or when obviously one of you has waaaay more in the financial department. One of my ex-boyfriends earned at least a 100 million USD per annum. I'll shoot him if he made me pay. By the way, I broke up with him if anyone is wondering.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Depends what your arrangement is. Is it a one off or ongoing? Personally i prefer to pay but if she wants to or feels better in going 50/50 i don't mind. Its always good to throw in some wine or a nice added extra :)
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razor2000
13 years ago
In the early stages of organising the date this should all be sorted out that way no one is getting anxious come the day/night and you can just enjoy yourselves. Would imagine that most first meets wouldn't be assuming they're jumping into bed straight after saying hi, though some do I guess, so there I'd play it by ear on the day. For those that its a foregone conclusion I'd ask if they'd like me to book the room and I'd pay but would be expecting them to want to book the hotel themselves as I'd imagine they'd be more comfortable with that then once there I'd offer to pay. No offence would be taken whichever way it went. For a ongoing FB then I'd imagine it would be split unless it was outside her means. As for when your married then everything goes into the pot and that's where everything comes out of apart from special treats you give each other which would have to be procured through some inventfull accounting. If the guys paying for everything what's happening to the $60000 the wife's earning? That's a lot of make up and hair cuts. 50 years ago and less the woman was the controller of the money in most households, shed stay at home looking after the kids and house, the guy would come home from work, give her the pay packet,minus the beer or two he'd had, shed pretend she didn't notice he'd had a beer and spend the money on what it needed spending on. I make sure I let women go through a door or oust a lift if we're going out it at the same time and all that sort of stuff but for stuff like the OP has asked about I don't think it's unreasonable to go 50/50. I shared a house with a drop dead gorgeous chick and she'd go out every night on the weekend and only spend money on cab fairs home, alone, and get pissed on guys that thought they were in with a shout buying her drinks. Used to make me mad as.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have to admit there has only been one time where I have gone 50/50 in a motel because the guy was not on a good wage and we went dutch, I was fine with that. It all depends on circumstances and the situation. I tend to just go with the flow, most men have their own accommodation so generally its at their house anyhow. But I have had some friends who have wanted to get a hotel on occassion, as is their choice BUT I will ALWAYS offer to pay half or ask if they want me to bring anything, drinks or toys etc, I think that it just shows manners to OFFER, even if she is paying, its nice to just not feel its expected for 1 person to cop it all. Same goes with a dinner/lunch meeting, I always go with intentions of dutch, and I will always offer towards buying drinks and half the meal etc. If he agrees then I am happy with that, if he says no I wont argue and allow him to do as a man does, its his decision, only polite I offer so he knows its appreciated.
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