M56 F56
Monogamy or not
May 06 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's now called monogamish xxQ
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madotara69
12 years ago
This question has been toying on the mind for some time, a recent post someone said that monogamy seemed a laughable term in the swinging scene.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Of the heart just your other bits get to go on a road show now and again but your usually on the same bus when you do go there.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'RunAwayJoinCircz' Personally i could never stand someone I was in love with to fuck other people, but I don't take that as any kind of moral stand, It's just my own insecurities, and actually something I've tried to train myself out of. I believe that ultimately a relationship stands a better chance of going the distance If the natural urge to fuck a variety of people is satisfied without that being a problem. But I'm not there yet. Monogamy....no. But strangely enough marriage...yes. The thing for me though Is that I pretty much fall in love with any girl I sleep with, so what happens when the 'Casual fuck' turns into Love? It's one thing to share your partner's body, another thing to share her soul? Speaking for the spirit of our souls never is an easy thing to explain, easier to be shown, though say for example we are talking of us and a threesome with a guy, lets even call it straight sex, no offence to guys or gals who are bi. When we have sex with another guy, we for a while become one with that guy during the moments, it is all about our souls jioning together and not only do we take something from the experience as it is a wonderful and extremely passionate, exciting, adventurous and trusting, sharing event. However what it is we share with these people is that love and bond we have and hope they take that or those moments away with them and keep them for the rest of time as fond and soul loving memories. The experience is of both our souls as one and a third soul still it becomes all as one in the moments. Not trying to sound cocky, more so giving, if you had sex with us circus, you would fall in love with Tara's soul, it is no fear for me too have someone share that, it is not mine too give but we are soulmates never the less. We can't speak for a fourth dimension yet.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Don't want you too kiss me circus, and you could leave your hat on, I have my Batman suit. Continuation with the theoretical scenario, too diffuse the matter, Tara could wear the perfume, I'd spray on some WD40, no mistaking things when the eyes are open wide shut. Though it becomes a teamwork adventure and as you take it as a compliment, then may it be seen, that you would have your place and I would have mine, too bloody busy if it happens we bump into each other while being urged where to be and what needs too be done. Tara is always somewhere in the middle of things. And I can guarantee the look in her eyes is and would be different than if we strike a glance. But you are dead right about the friends thing. (theoretically you can enjoy the theoretical theoretical and let go of the past)
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madotara69
12 years ago
Fuck Circus, it was just a hypothetical scenario, the beauty of being monogamous is we can get a fuck on together later too your art in the centre of our moment. hmmmmm naughty, Tara can add some vocals, I shall concentrate to the tempo. Now cumon, let's get back on topic, it's not all about you. ha ha.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'RunAwayJoinCircz' Personally i could never stand someone I was in love with to fuck other people, but I don't take that as any kind of moral stand, It's just my own insecurities, and actually something I've tried to train myself out of. I believe that ultimately a relationship stands a better chance of going the distance If the natural urge to fuck a variety of people is satisfied without that being a problem. But I'm not there yet. Monogamy....no. But strangely enough marriage...yes. The thing for me though Is that I pretty much fall in love with any girl I sleep with, so what happens when the 'Casual fuck' turns into Love? It's one thing to share your partner's body, another thing to share her soul? When I was married, I never looked at another man as an option. Of course I had a perv but I was content with what I had and the thought of sex with another never even crossed my mind. I am not a swinger, I am not a sharer, I enjoy the one on one connection with someone special, i would never want to share that...call me selfish :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' So we are married, twenty years now, we don't have extramarital affairs, open relationships or any sex away from being together when we do with others. We could and would walk away from this lifestyle in a heartbeat if it came between us. So is it monogamous or not? Fuck the labels.
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RHP User
12 years ago
IMO
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gazpacho
12 years ago
Well, it ain't monogamy. Clearly monogamy doesn't matter to either of you. :)) HugsGazz
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madotara69
12 years ago
Would that be a no to us being monogamous, for your reasons? It's not so much about why we would or would not, as for many years we never even spoke of it, it wasn't until we did that had us where we are now and we are both glad to have that trust in our relationship to even consider it. Don't take this wrongly please as your reasons like Circus are valid points for this discussion, no one right or wrong, just wondering how monogamous is viewed as in here and this lifestyle. We live a normal monogamous life 95% give or take a bit, times can change either way. It is really all too the fantasy when we do, and that is where it stays.
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MissBishere
12 years ago
its the perfect relationship....why does the label matter?but I would consider it monogamous
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'gazpacho51' Well, it ain't monogamy. Clearly monogamy doesn't matter to either of you. :)) HugsGazz Like a breath of fresh air, nice too be in your company again Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Monogamy: : the state or practice of being married to only one person at a time: the state or practice of having only one sexual partner during a period of time So no, I don't think you are monogamous. I like term monogamish.
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RHP User
12 years ago
AMAZING! The love and respect that Mado expresses for Tara often brings a tear to my eye...
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madotara69
12 years ago
My boyfriend and I are monogamish, so it's cool if "you want to make out with me". monogamish A relationship that is mostly monogamous but occasionally exceptions are made for sexual play. Not so easy, as it still steers too playing apart from each other is cool as an open play thing. there is a few variations. monoglexicon MonogglesMonogenderismMonogenderMonogedemonogaymousmonogawhoremonogaseriousMonoganyMonogamy SlutMonogamy bonermonogamyMonogamustmonogamoutmonogamous understandingmonogamous slutMonogamous non-relationshipmonogamous gooseMonogamous Getter SomerMonogamous Diningmonogamous cheatermonogamous breakMonogamousmonogamistermonogamissmonogamishmonogameatmonogamemonogamatemonogalustMonogahoemonogagayMonogafairMonogabombMONOGMono-funkMono-functional settlementMono FuckmonofontyllicmonofonikMONOFOCULAR
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' My boyfriend and I are monogamish, so it's cool if "you want to make out with me". monogamish A relationship that is mostly monogamous but occasionally exceptions are made for sexual play. Not so easy, as it still steers too playing apart from each other is cool as an open play thing. there is a few variations. Monogender Monoggles monoglexicon Monogenderism Monoged monogaymous monogawhore monogaserious Monogany Monogamy SlutMonogamy bonermonogamy Monogamust monogamout monogamous understanding monogamous slutMonogamous non-relationshipmonogamous gooseMonogamous Getter SomerMonogamous Diningmonogamous cheatermonogamous breakMonogamous monogamister monogamiss monogamish monogameat monogame monogamate monogalust Monogahoe monogagay Monogafair Monogabomb MONOGMono-funkMono-functional settlementMono Fuckmonofontyllic monofonik MONOFOCULAR
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
Do you need a label?
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Smilingwithfun' Do you need a label? just interested in what others think it means, never even thought of it until getting involved with these forums. It comes up often enough, we have since just thought we were monogamous, maybe we are not.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is actually a word coined by Dan Savage to define couples who occasionally have sex with others :-)that is what my first post was referring to :-) xxQ
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RHP User
12 years ago
I won't be able to convince Tara to come live in Melbourne anytime soon. Looks like I'll be monogamous with my hand for a while yet.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I like
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funsexyhappy
12 years ago
I Call it Honesty & Openness, their should be much more of it in this World. Good on guys. Love it.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta2' Is actually a word coined by Dan Savage to define couples who occasionally have sex with others :-)that is what my first post was referring to :-) xxQ monogamish led us too google and google led us to that great bloody list with monogamish right in the middle, and seeing as our littlish playing up thing relies on Tara being in the middle, we think you are on the money once again. So we think now we are a little bit monogamish. Two years ago, you had us look up monogamy, thought you were talking about wood. Found out mahogany is something quite different indeed. Guess we could say that was the beginning of this topic at hand. Wish you said that two years ago. We could have been monogamish way back then. Guess we should have just asked then.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't know if Dan had written that book yet,sorry to keep you waiting :-) :-) xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
Monogamish it is. Why not......its great a couple so in tune with each other can be this way. I think you should start a school for newly wedd couples....teach them how wonderful it could be when everything is done with love in your heart.......we need to see its not like in Hollywood. We live happy ever after and nothing will change in the dynamic of a relationship. Could you imagine how much sorrow and hate could be avoided. We would learn a lot before we get married or go into a relationship but no one speaks really openly about the changes down the track....no one will ever touch the subject about.....sex fucking KINK.....stupid word.....not your parents not your friends not the priest no one. We live in fantasy world at the beginning, because no one tells us the truth, yes we have to learn with the partner we have and experience and this is the most beautiful thing at the start, still someone should be teaching/educating young once what a partnership can involve and that possessing the other is not the right way to be. For me reading and listing to the forum shows me when we get older........we see its not a fairytale, the knight in shining armor the princess and her needle work and she smiles all the time and says yes my lover anytime. Mardo and Tara maybe you found the way....maybe you are on to something......teach.....open a school....new consciousness.....honest living and loving between couples. Whether we will call it Monogamish or what its time we see the truth........look around RHP.....who is monogame in the sense of it?
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Enjoylifealways
12 years ago
It is monogamy in my mind :) I am poly which means many loves. You don't love the other people you are sleeping with so monogamy in my eyes.You just enjoy this hobby of playing with others together ;) Just doing married life in a different way ,and lets face it have you ever seen two marriages that were the same? :)
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Enjoylifealways' It is monogamy in my mind :) I am poly which means many loves. You don't love the other people you are sleeping with so monogamy in my eyes.You just enjoy this hobby of playing with others together ;) Just doing married life in a different way ,and lets face it have you ever seen two marriages that were the same? :) Hello, first chat, the same? well at a glance yes many seem the same, though there is this thing where most think they have to be like everyone else, (keeping up with the Joneses) Once we get too know people, we learn that no one is the same, so many people seem to think sex is something that should be private and confuse it as love over lust. The best thing with these forums is that we can share our feelings and ideals, heartache and pain. So yes we are all different in so many ways. Speak out and Fuck the "MAN" Peace, love and lust
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RHP User
12 years ago
Committed.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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Enjoylifealways
12 years ago
Well said :) I totally agree I remember someone commenting on needing a like button on posts, I would have used it for your post :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
That monogamy wasn't natural And a little side note ( to me ) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I dont think you need to put a name to it.. Being married for 20 years and not shagging someone else unless its with each other' means you got it right as far as Im concerned. ? You dont cheat and you dont restrict each other's common needs. Perfect union if you ask me.. ?
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' Committed.... - Posted from rhpmobile Though that wanders into the realms of what type of defence one may choose to an outcome, then institutionalised becomes a risk.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We regard ourselves as monogamish, totally committed to each other to the degree that we enjoy each other occasionally taking pleasure with others. It is totally liberating.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Jay_Me' I dont think you need to put a name to it.. Being married for 20 years and not shagging someone else unless its with each other' means you got it right as far as Im concerned. ? You dont cheat and you dont restrict each other's common needs. Perfect union if you ask me.. ? Got too admit, a bit of DP now and then really needs another guy, toys just don't cut the mustard, though this comes more down to wants, as we don't need too have sex with others, thinking that is what monogamous is all about. We can be monoganish now, yet tomorrow we could happily go back to being monogamous, as said, we could leave it all behind if it came between us. Though any friends we make along the way, would not change as sex is only a part with the lifestyle.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'EuropianBliss' That monogamy wasn't natural And a little side note ( to me ) - Posted from rhpmobile would love to see your list of what is natural EB
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Would that be a no to us being monogamous, for your reasons? It's not so much about why we would or would not, as for many years we never even spoke of it, it wasn't until we did that had us where we are now and we are both glad to have that trust in our relationship to even consider it. Don't take this wrongly please as your reasons like Circus are valid points for this discussion, no one right or wrong, just wondering how monogamous is viewed as in here and this lifestyle. We live a normal monogamous life 95% give or take a bit, times can change either way. It is really all too the fantasy when we do, and that is where it stays. And I don't mean this as a judgement as you are both consenting adults but I do not think it is technically monogamous. Does it matter to you if we think you are not? I hope not as I think there is a lot of admiration in here for the love you guys share, monogamous or not :)
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' Quoting 'madotara69' Would that be a no to us being monogamous, for your reasons? It's not so much about why we would or would not, as for many years we never even spoke of it, it wasn't until we did that had us where we are now and we are both glad to have that trust in our relationship to even consider it. Don't take this wrongly please as your reasons like Circus are valid points for this discussion, no one right or wrong, just wondering how monogamous is viewed as in here and this lifestyle. We live a normal monogamous life 95% give or take a bit, times can change either way. It is really all too the fantasy when we do, and that is where it stays. And I don't mean this as a judgement as you are both consenting adults but I do not think it is technically monogamous. Does it matter to you if we think you are not? I hope not as I think there is a lot of admiration in here for the love you guys share, monogamous or not :) No ralf, just like your thoughts, read them all the time, not a judgement thing at all, and no it really does not matter. But sometimes it does. We had an unpleasant experience as most regulars would know from our posts, and where we have a pretty clear example of who we are and what we look for in our profile we mention that we only play together and in love and that we have no idea what exactly we want. We mention open ground as a meaning for respecting others comunication. Though when we had that unpleasant experience the guy tried to say that because we had open ground, he felt he was entitled to play with Tara all on his own. Now that was once he was on his way out the door trying to find a way to get back in. But it just goes to show how some people interoperate or may not care to understand certain types of words and meanings that can go with them. So why monogamous or even monogamish means something is more to the term used for not playing apart from each other, yet playing with others together is OK or within our boundaries. Even monogamish still does not separate the two different ideas. It's not the only reason for asking the Question, that experience. But the question still is worth a discussion.
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RHP User
12 years ago
No Mado. I mean committed as in you and Tara(the love queen), are committed to not letting anything come between you. I don't think it's monogamy at all. You're open to sharing each other, but you guys always choose each other before anything or anyone else. That to me is simply commitment. Monogamy, to me, is choosing to not take opportunity without consent or prior knowledge of the other person within the realm of the commitment. Which, to clarify, is not the 3rd party lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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Chaucer
12 years ago
Dan Savage was at the festival of dangerous ideas held at the opera house. You can find the broadcast on the ABC's website. Hilarious and thought provoking. Well worth the watch.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Inventing new words... Monogamish 'works' on so many levels. Perfect description for Mado & Tara. Not bad for me either...
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RHP User
12 years ago
not...just healthy and fun
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RHP User
12 years ago
Undoubtedly its way too personal to be defined by any conventions. Simply, "it giveth and it taketh away" so you "break eggs to make an omelette." For me, if I am sexually satisfied, then another partner is more of an academic interest, or, if you like,a healthy temptation that may remain nothing more. If I'm not satisfied, then that is the problem "right there." In past years, I have had a very un-occasional deviation, such as a swinger's club, and it is exactly that, a very infrequent diversion that would never replace well connected sex. The dichotomy is simply that our brains and our genitals don't always obey the same rules. So we have to work out how we're gonna deal with it.
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Taleros
12 years ago
Someone already posted the definition of monogamy earlier which by partaking in sexual activities with people other than your partner, even if it is only ever together with your partner, would make you not monogamous (i.e. non-monogamous), if taking it precisely on the definition. Non-monogamy is a very open term though, covering quite a range of different kinds of relationships that involve multiple partners, sexual activities and romantic relations. It can all be very fluid as different people have their own sense of what they are, how they partake and identify so they may not fit completely under one form of it. The usage of a term can make it go beyond the raw definition of the word, or if that still doesn't sit right then just make up a word to fit you, if you care to name/label it. Would've suggested non-monogamish, but seems monogamish is already being thrown around in here which does seem to roll off the tongue better. ~Mr Taleros
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abcplus1
12 years ago
We only play together, not separately. Now to completely confuse the issue......... Mrs abc has on occasions got some alone time with partners we have had in the past, usually not involving anything more than some heavy foreplay and only after they had become a play partner for us both. We both actually prefer to do this together. For us it is the same as the OP, if it gets in the way of 'us' we will walk away.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We hear ya Madotara. Like you guys we only play together. Mrs only had one partner before mr so this also helps in terms of scratching an itch without deviation from our commitment to our marriage and our family. We both choose prospective playmates together. It's all in or none. We admire the love and commitment you guys show, it makes us wonder why so many people look down on a swinging lifestyle when our relationships are so strong and our happiness and zest for life is so great. Ps. Love reading your posts. We love the insight you all have on here :)
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madotara69
12 years ago
Committing to monogamishly being a little bit naughty now and then, now that rolls of the tongue.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Chaucer' Dan Savage was at the festival of dangerous ideas held at the opera house. You can find the broadcast on the ABC's website. Hilarious and thought provoking. Well worth the watch. Very Hilarious. Can also get pod casts as well.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Made up monogamish Mea,but I invented frozzletit....on another thread :-) :-) xxQ
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RHP User
12 years ago
Relationships are all about communication, i believe in monogamy however i am an open minded person and if i had a partner I would hope she would be honest with me about her sexual desires with me or with someone else, I think if handled like that we could always find a compromise , love is love .. sex is sexafter all isn't that what relationships are about ? honesty,loyalty,communication and trust..... Perhaps thats why i am single lol
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'fwbandsome' Relationships are all about communication, i believe in monogamy however i am an open minded person and if i had a partner I would hope she would be honest with me about her sexual desires with me or with someone else, I think if handled like that we could always find a compromise , love is love .. sex is sexafter all isn't that what relationships are about ? honesty,loyalty,communication and trust..... Perhaps thats why i am single lol A man comes home late at night, goes to the medicine cabinet, up to the bedroom where his wife lay sleeping, gives her a handful of painkillers and a glass of water. The wife says" but I don't have a headache" He says "beauty" Yes that is how friendships are formed, then maybe the two can Tango. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Quoting 'gazpacho51' Well, it ain't monogamy. Clearly monogamy doesn't matter to either of you. :)) HugsGazz Like a breath of fresh air, nice too be in your company again Mado Tara xx Mado & Tara where with you all the way !
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RHP User
12 years ago
"When we have sex with another guy, we for a while become one with that guy during the moments, it is all about our souls jioning together and not only do we take something from the experience as it is a wonderful and extremely passionate, exciting, adventurous and trusting, sharing event. However what it is we share with these people is that love and bond we have and hope they take that or those moments away with them and keep them for the rest of time as fond and soul loving memories. The experience is of both our souls as one and a third soul still it becomes all as one in the moments. Not trying to sound cocky, more so giving, if you had sex with us circus, you would fall in love with Tara's soul, it is no fear for me too have someone share that, it is not mine too give but we are soulmates never the less." that had to be one of the most fantastic things i read on here...you are most fortunate to share such a bond..and your views on sharing your souls during a sensual encounter with another person, is beautiful...
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madotara69
12 years ago
Thanks, it's the whole reason we are on a site like this, if it wasn't like that we would be completely monogamous.
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