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teamaj2

teamaj2

M44 F64

Messages not reflecting your true self .

January 05 2021

Thinking about the messages we receive has got me thinking. Do some men really think it’s a good idea to want to change themselves , what they seek in potential partners just in search of a hook up ? Surely that’s not a recipe for success . We are ( I think ) very clear in what we seek . We are happy to be patient and wait for the right people . We are all time poor why pretend or offer to accommodate our needs when it puts your own needs and who you are on the back burner . Some examples of the messages we have received - ⁃ I am very hairy but I’m willing to shave /wax my entire body to meet up. ⁃ I have a beard which I can shave off to meet you . ⁃ My ( least ) favourite and often received message ( and MANY different variations of it ) - I’m not bi ( M) but I will happily close my eyes and see how I go . I’m not into MM at all but you never know , happily give it a go ? Being compromising and yes somewhat accommodating is okay . Why not just be an authentic, true representation of who you are ? ⁃ Myself , I’m a curvy , busty blonde . I’m not dying my hair to be a brunette to please someone else . ⁃ As with profiles surely if they are a true reflection of yourself , your likes , wants , needs and whom you seek , wouldn’t that give you the best chance of a successful meet up ? This isn’t an anti single guy tirade just an observation. Unsure if couples do this too as we seek singles . Have others found this to be the case ? Ax

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Comments

  • Champagne333

    Champagne333

    5 years ago

    Good question, we’d be cautious with someone offering big changes to themselves... different if they’re assisting you to fulfil a fantasy, likewise we’re happy to assist in fulfilling someone else’s fantasy if it’s a reasonable request.... very annoying tho if u think you find someone yr clicking with online and maybe they usually have stubble but willing to shave for the encounter but when you meet they’ve got a full beard haha

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  • JT_team

    JT_team

    5 years ago

    Totally agree with the 3rd point - based on your profile you seem to be looking for a similar 3rd like us i.e. a bi male. The most recent variation was "if i'm really realllly drunk - maybe?" - sure it's online, but how can anyone type that in and not see an insulting element to it and think it'll get them laid? Anyway, I don't bother responding to these as I'm not interested in getting in to a potential online slagging match, although sometimes I think maybe I should give the feedback as they may really be ignorant of what they're conveying.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Its clear from women's comments that many men dont even read profiles and just letch onto a photo...., and even a clearly fake photo...... ...... so to consider theyre rethinking any deeper than their urgent quest for a hole for instant gratification and whatever it takes to satisfy that urge...... long answer short, yeah, theyll try anything. Even pleading and begging upon rejection 🤦‍♂️

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I agree with ML.... I think some are so heavily outcome driven that all bets are off in order to achieve it.... Just screams desperate in my opinion...

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  • SpicyKale

    SpicyKale

    5 years ago

    Ok, this is a brief rundown of a recent interaction.... The initial contact was three words complimenting our pics and rather than just straight up saying, "we're not interested" we replied with just "thanks". The guy then asked if we were free, to which we replied that we don't see straight guys and we were taking a break during covid and that it was all in our profile🤷🏻‍♂️ The reply was, "so, Mr wants some action too", followed up with a, "what makes you think I'm not bi?" This is from a profile with not a lot filled out, other than that he was straight. We mentioned this and get the response of "tell me what you want then". This further descended into begging! We get messages like this all the time! Straight guys just trying it on, willing to say just about anything to get with a couple🤷🏻‍♂️ Then asking what they can change in their profiles, followed by other complete BS. Despite the fact that's it's disrespectful it makes it damn near impossible for the genuine bi guys on the site. We get so many of these messages we tend to avoid singles full stop. 😳

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  • 2EssesExploring

    2EssesExploring

    5 years ago

    Hey AJ, I agree in essence with what you said but there is always some grey areas. I mean body hair and facial hair can mean a lot or a little to the owner. I know I’m blessed with my fair share and Mrs S doesn’t mind it and neither do I do it stays as I find it’s temperature regulation functions quite a positive. But I do like being smooth and on our rare play occasions will most often trim it all down especially if a potential play mate prefers it. Then I think we have still listed Mrs S’s little predisposition with blonde girls but that doesn’t mean that’s all she likes and the most fun she’s ever had was with a curvy brunette. As for the bi guy stuff. I find there are a lot of nice couples where the guy won’t even look at a profile if the male states he is anything but 100% straight. So for a guy that is bi friendly but this isn’t a main desire he may well be better to withhold this information. Although if you’re getting responses like “I’ll close my eyes” or “I’ll get drunk” then that’s a bit rich! I find the older I get the less focused on a list of specifics I get. Not that I’m letting my standards down but I’m realising on a deeper level that if there’s a deeper mental connection then many “don’t wants” can become “oh that was a lovely experience!” I’ve tried many times to portray ourselves completely in our profile but have never been able to achieve it I feel. As ultimately we are after experiences that everyone involved enjoys to the fullest and we are left with a lingering memory of the deliciousness of what has transpired. For us, we don’t know where the limits of that deliciousness are. I do Feel sorry for the nice single guy out there, it would be great if everyone portrayed themselves exactly as they are to allow ideal connections to be made but we all know in this life that marketing means more to most than substance.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I get a lot of guys with NSA in their profile contacting me. When I say I’m not interested in NSA and it’s clearly in my profile, I get “yes me too, I just haven’t updated my profile” or variations of the like. Time wasting.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    It’s a little like people using very outdated photos!! What do they think is going to go down when you meet them in person? Do they just think you will shrug your shoulders and go , well there here now , might as well still jump them ??

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  • MissyT

    MissyT

    5 years ago

    OP. You’re ultimately showing maturity in your profile, and you have to suffer through the BS of less mature or impatient profiles/profilers in order to match up. That said, the patience does pay off, both socially and sexually!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I try to reply kindly, if we don’t share interests. It’s simple. Not a match. Then they ask me what I like (must have missed that detailed info in my profile) Then offer to be everything I need, the complete opposite of their profile or what they put in their opening message. I usually reply with, the most attractive man to me is one who knows what he wants. You obviously don’t have any idea what you like or want.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Pretty sure it’s mostly just because men don’t have the luxury of choosing partners At least not the majority of men anyway So it’s basically “I’ll do what I can to get what I can” Supply demand basically

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  • pieadventures

    pieadventures

    5 years ago

    I found this discussion very interesting as I read profiles at least three times thinking on whether we are a likely a good gel for me and them, and have kept my profile quite accurate. Except as I type I realised I recently got tattoos and haven’t mentioned that [will correct ASAP]. I am time poor like everyone else so don’t want to waste anyone’s time especially my own. I have been fairly passive on RHP as I am fortunate to get contacted here and there and have made friends in the scene when I originally entered as a couple, then have made a few more as a single. I wouldn’t shave or adjust my preferences just to get laid. I am bi-friendly, but not bi, maybe I’d experiment with the right couple, so just put straight as that seemed the most accurate.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    All valid points.

    reply

  • Naughtydouble

    Naughtydouble

    5 years ago

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