M55
Meeting someone from the net with the view to the long term
April 05 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
....he had ALL the answers for a Perfect Match . . I know only this, you need to be able to trust yourself first before you can trust anyone else. The internet is irrelevant in my opinion.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think there are certain signs of when you can trust a partner. . The number one is open communicaton... if that changes that I'd start wondering what they are up to. . Would YOU confess all the sites you are on to your partner ? Does it make any difference ? It's just as easy to pick someone up at a bar or over the phone (phone sex lines) as it is over the net. . I think it's just part of modern relationships. I tend to give everything to a guy I like. Sure there's risk but you have to risk something to gain something back. In my last "relationship" (the one that ended today..LOL), I closed down my profile on the traditional site and stopped going on here for awhile (a couple of weeks). I did get back on here for the forums and I did tell the guy that I was on a sex site for the forums etc. And no I dont think that was the reason he dumped me.... it was probably more because I wanted sex outdoors and I wanted to experiment with all sorts of things, and all he wanted was vanilla sex. . I wouldn't necessarily convert to a couples profile but I would change my status to Attached and give him free access to my messages etc. For me it's always about be open and honest, not about the past. . xx Saturn .
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RHP User
15 years ago
How does she know she can trust you? Are you trustworthy? Would you tell her you are on this site and how many others? If you cannot trust enough, if you keep looking over yours (and her) shoulder, if it is an issue before you even meet her, then give up now. Taking the thought into a new relationship may evenually make the thought reality as it eats away at your subconscious. Even when you meet someone in the normal course of life, they have a past.
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RHP User
15 years ago
yes would say it takes a huge amount of trust... I know within myself that I dont have to be concerned about my level of trustworthiness..
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RHP User
15 years ago
I trust anyone I meet, until they give me a reason not to. . I don't see there's any other way to be because to fear mis-trust as an inevitability or a likely outcome, is bringing your own past based fears to the new union, with your suspicions and analysis biased toward their behaviours as them being "up to something" and "how can I be sure".... . The plain fact is 'You cannot be sure' so why torture yourself with a reality that is disprovable either way. And will remain so for a time. Conjecture and doubt don't make it go any faster. . Dumping your own shit (and shit it is) on perfectly nice strangers is a selfish, ignorant indulgence. I don't like stereotypical accusations and criticisms assumed of me, so don't assume it of others respectfully. . It's more likely you're dishonest and sly. And conclude other's will be SCUM-BAGS JUST LIKE YOU.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Miss_Saturn' I think there are certain signs of when you can trust a partner. . The number one is open communicaton... if that changes that I'd start wondering what they are up to. I wouldn't necessarily convert to a couples profile but I would change my status to Attached and give him free access to my messages etc. For me it's always about be open and honest, not about the past. . xx Saturn . I agree with the bits above. And these things work for me. . People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. And I trust until I'm given reason not to. I do not view placing my trust in the person I am involved with as a "risk". .. If you let the past dictate your future, you may as well discard the simple notions of hope and promise while you're at it. . PS. Sorry about the dumping Miss Saturn. Climb back on the horse and before too long your groin will feel like it never left the saddle!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Is this a dating and sex site? | I thought this was "Cooking with Nigella" and I have been giving away all my secrets in the kitchen thinking I might get lucky. | Anybody want to swap recipes for hollandaise sauce?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Mmmm Nigella. And now I'm hungry.
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RHP User
15 years ago
you dont know. you wont know. its simple. if people are looking, they are usually looking in more than one place.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Not taking the piss (for a change) but seriously i would just relax mate and go with it. Does it make another untrust worthy if they are on the net / perhaps they are expanding the opportunity to meet like you have? But i wouldnt trust them they are evil who said that Stop it leave me alone i dont like the voices they tell me to do things I see Dumb People Why are you looking at me I know you i have seen you before .. what are you doing here this is where i play leave them alone Stop It and dont hurt them I love puuppies they are so cute argggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have met someone from the net and thins were going swimmingly... My so called partner was from here... sadly she uses the same password all the time. My gut instinct was eating away from me... so i tried a password to her email account, which she had told me. To my 'amazement' there was a recent joining to another web site. Would you be surprised that I logged into that one? (has nothing on rhp!) well well well... what do I find.. and to my utter disappointment communicating with other/new men. I am not complacent about our relationship, so I have to say that she didn't wander through lack of attention and/or satisfaction (unless she is a fake) I have done all the nice romantic things and we go out and have a tone of fun and stay in when we desire. Are people just addicted to the new adventure and will never be satisfied, so therefore I should just walk away? I did question her this morning, although by phone. Said I had a gut feel something wasn't right and was she looking elsewhere... HINT HINT! but alas I got the nooooooooooooo... and I have never lied to you. drama drama drama CM from Saturns post... not he is just not that into you.. well frankly maybe she just not that into me What I dont get.. we have a great time together
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RHP User
15 years ago
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RHP User
15 years ago
If you are that paranoid about meeting someone for a long term relationship that might or might not be on the net and might or might not have an existing profile somewhere......what are you doing looking for them here?WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING FOR THEM AT ALL?? Yep, this boy has baggage, lots of baggage...20kgs over I would say. Way too much baggage.......
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RHP User
15 years ago
Which is really asking 'how do you know when you are in a relationship?'. When spening Saturday night together is implied. . If you've got that far and there are trust issues then there hasn't been enough communication.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I dont know how i would react..would i encourage more play with others if we were exclusive ..i dont know too much of a mind fuck i thinks !!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hey Aniceone, Perhaps you and I should get together... exchange passwords, set up a couples account and live happily ever after ! . Perhaps the reason she joined another site wasn't because she's not into you but that she's addicted to the chase ! I find a side effect of internet sites is that you get withdrawal symptoms when you pull back or stop being on them. The regular emails and "hellos" are little ego boosts that keep many coming back time and time again. . Come join my "Not into You" Club... We will have fun ! . x Miss Saturn
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RHP User
15 years ago
MistressT I was going for 15kg so what if we split the diff and go 17.5kg @ $50/kg =$875 and a penalty for being transparent. Corrective behaviour technique will be at your disposal (naturally)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why is meeting someone on the internet instantly suspicious ??Internet dating is just a new medium for networking. People are still people. You are still you.Use your instincts just the same as you would when meeting someone in "the normal" way.Crazy people will still seem crazy. Arrogant foolish self centred and nasty will still look the same.Just as much as lovable sane sensible stable exciting and interesting will.As for the checking for hidden profiles.....Aint that what the phrase" forsaking all others" is in there for ???? Just cause it doesnt say "forsaking all others and cancelling all internet profile accounts" It all means diddly squat.... if your partner is going to be unfaithful they are going to be...regardless of where you met them."Use the force Luke"
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RHP User
15 years ago
I was a little Harsh considering your circumstance. Thats what happens when you snoop. I know we all snoop for a reason, and the outcome is often sad. On the flip-side, now you know. Trust is corrupted and future consequently contaminated by it and I doubt she will change. Slap a 'No Integrity' warning sticker to her back as she walks away and whatever direction she takes, go the opposite...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Tonyerotic' I trust anyone I meet, until they give me a reason not to. . I don't see there's any other way to be because to fear mis-trust as an inevitability or a likely outcome, is bringing your own past based fears to the new union, with your suspicions and analysis biased toward their behaviours as them being "up to something" and "how can I be sure".... . The plain fact is 'You cannot be sure' so why torture yourself with a reality that is disprovable either way. And will remain so for a time. Conjecture and doubt don't make it go any faster. . Dumping your own shit (and shit it is) on perfectly nice strangers is a selfish, ignorant indulgence. I don't like stereotypical accusations and criticisms assumed of me, so don't assume it of others respectfully. . It's more likely you're dishonest and sly. And conclude other's will be SCUM-BAGS JUST LIKE YOU. Projection maybe (not u T, the shit dumpers) All of what T said, but when i get a terrible feeling, I run, don't need to wait around to see if i am wrong: Some people just give me the WILLIES (the bad type). I had to have a break from my longest friend because she was a bit of a freak magnet, but she seems to turn them away more these days thank god! One of them to me looked GREY in complexion and she was a 22 year old (weird right), she made me feel physically sick to be in her presence because i felt freaked out and scared by her presence, but she was nothing but nice to me and my friend thought the sun shone out over her arse?!... AND I LOVE PEOPLE!! I'd say way more than most... So back to grey gril, In the end my friend and she were flatmates for a time (when i was on break) and they were broken into 3 times and the theives would leave a steamer in the middle of the lounge room each time?! And lots of bad shit would happen in general (think i wiped it from my mind), until my friend just couldn't take anymore, same went with her other freaky friends,incident after incident and she'd eventually learn that it wasn't worth it and dangerous too. She just cared TOO much I believe. I am willing to be a nice person, but not to the point my safety is compromised, but I guess she just tried to see their good sides and try and help (she is very good at it for the sane...)? I think I have the ability to smell freak or something, coz every time I saw one of those people i was outta there!! And don't get me wrong, some freaks are fine, i myself fly a freak flag at times...it is just the evil, sick, twisted type that i feel are a bit of a danger to one’s health and well being lol!
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RHP User
15 years ago
The old "Steamer in the lounge" syndrome, in Vietnam they actually leave a rice-steamer in the bathroom which has its meanings only known to them. In India a chapatti or dead carcass from the ganges river (both hideous but one hard to clean up). In Iran it's a Grenade with some wifes earlobe or nose pointing northward. In Greece it's a ball of curly under-arm hair.(under your pillow) In Spain its an I-O-U note apologising for the government.(glued to family pet's tail) And in Argentina the perpetrator leaves his wife and kids for you to raise(gagged and tied up under a table)
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RHP User
15 years ago
did I see us in a relationship... well yes I did. we taked about future advents, not just what we were doing on the weekend. Talked about moving in together... Talked about buying a home for us to live in... Is that not a relationship? She had also stipulated that we were a couple and would remain the monogmay status. I had asked her if she wanted to expore the 3some or swinging scene, but the answer was no. Saturn, should I overlook the fact of joing another site? Let her have that thrill so to speak? I guess this is what I know about... Mistress... I am a pretty baggage free kinda guy. Have experienced lots of life, and have no regrets about previous relationships. Just disappointed.
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RHP User
15 years ago
a little late now.. we have spoken so I guess that is communicating.. we now just need to collect out respective items from each others place oh well.... who said NEXT
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have just split with someone.. so all very fresh and they were from the net.. so like the others I am feeling burnt. I like missbowpeek comment where this is just another platform for meeting someone. I had hoped it would turn out better. Before I joined, I have read forums with much interest and decided to take the plunge. Reading the forums for a month, it seems everyone has had different experiences, so I have come on here with eyes wide open and a little reserved. I dont think I will bother with the toothbrush! The internet dating scene, who is it weighted with? Who has more success? I feel for people who have just broken up. Getting to this age, I think it hurts even more. My kiddies seem to bounce back alot quicker. Love to all xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well then good bloody job. You found what you were after thereby proving that you were right all along and you cant trust her. And now you are all upset because you did find out? Oh and also upset because you cannot discuss this openly with her because she will know that you were reading her emails. Now who cannot be trusted? I thought you said you knew within yourself that you were trustworthy? Now you are on here trying to validate that she cannot be trusted. Mate...you have issues. I would come clean, discuss it openly, tell her that you were snooping and maybe....just maybe she might forgive your lack of faith.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am trustworthy... I have not deviated from when we met.. dated had sex.. had great times together.. she has my cc details.. access to everything I have. Is that not being trustworthy? FFS I hardly ever accessed her email, but hey she gave me the go ahead and never really bothered, until last week. I dont think it is baggage... trying to validate.. sigh I dont know.. dont we all want validation at some point that we have given a person our trust and it has been shattered????????????????? cheers
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RHP User
15 years ago
slam it shut and hope that it hurts as it hits her on the arse. the whole process begins with now changing my details so i am not paying for double elec/gas bills does trustworth mean generous as well?
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RHP User
15 years ago
aniceone - i`m sorry, but why does she have access to your credit card details? did you just allude to the fact you were paying her bills? and wtf are you doing going thru her email?? is she not capable of looking after herself economically? you`re not living together, so call me a tight ass but i don`t see any reason as to why you should be paying for her or vice versa. Or am I out of the loop on this??my ex-fiance had a complex about women cheating on him, and constantly checked my phone for texts for all the guys i was supposedly seeing (epic fail, it was my mum lol). long story short, if you go anywhere near my phone or email and i find out? I`ll kick your ass out the door so fast... (I don`t have anything to hide, but i dislike suspicious ppl, as they`re usually insecure).
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'aniceone71' I am trustworthy... I have not deviated from when we met.. dated had sex.. had great times together.. she has my cc details.. access to everything I have. Is that not being trustworthy? FFS I hardly ever accessed her email, but hey she gave me the go ahead and never really bothered, until last week. I dont think it is baggage... trying to validate.. sigh I dont know.. dont we all want validation at some point that we have given a person our trust and it has been shattered????????????????? cheers Sweetie, really, DO YOU HAVE SUCKER STAMPED ON YOUR FOREHEAD? I would be hot footing it to fix that little thing with the bank right now, before any damage is done ....to your credit rating and bank balance.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'aniceone71' I am trustworthy... I have not deviated from when we met.. dated had sex.. had great times together.. she has my cc details.. access to everything I have. Is that not being trustworthy? FFS I hardly ever accessed her email, but hey she gave me the go ahead and never really bothered, until last week. I dont think it is baggage... trying to validate.. sigh I dont know.. dont we all want validation at some point that we have given a person our trust and it has been shattered????????????????? cheers Sweetie, really, DO YOU HAVE SUCKER STAMPED ON YOUR FOREHEAD? I would be hot footing it to fix that little thing with the bank right now, before any damage is done ....to your credit rating and bank balance. See now here I was thinkging I could lead the man on...get his details..and have some fun at his expense...but you ruined that now . Seriously though....WTF???? It took a good number of years before my last long term partner (and we lived with each other for about 7.5 yrs and were together for 8) gave me his credit card details and I AM STILL PAYING FOR IT...yes you read correcly I had all his details but its me thats paying for it...long story...if you want the details Private message me) . aniceone - i have a bridge I would love to sell you , kisses Focus
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