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RHP

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Meet and Greet Followed By Silence ...

March 28 2018

So you meet someone off RHP , you both have a great time . You mutually agree to meet up again , and then more often than not it seems all communication stops not even that long after the meet up ... It’s like they think - I don’t need to try anymore or initiate contact or a catch up! But funny how all the effort is put in before you meet up.... It sends signals like I caught you I don’t need to try anymore. I got what I wanted .. or I am not interested... I hate mixed signals . Whatever happened to the simplicity - I like hou , let’s do this bam! Instead of this rat race of trying to understand them or their feelings. Some may be discreet or maybe some like the chase. Or may be some are waiting for you to set the standard. Whatever the reason I can never figure it out... Did I read the signs wrong ... am I missing something here ? Am I expecting too much ... I figure if someone is keen on you — they will do their best to keep you by iniating catch ups , conversation etc. Otherwise we will both get bored and find other people. And I don’t want to be the one always trying , I don’t want to step on someone’s toes if they aren’t keen , so more than likely I usually move on. Has anyone else had this? It seems like it’s a common thing . - Posted from rhpmobile

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    ...otherwise know as NEXT ! Both Men and women can be prone to it. I dont think you are alone with your thoughts Ella, pretty sure it has happened to many of us at some time. Pursued online for the meet up, the catch up, the sex....then dead air. In some ways I tend to say thanks to those who do it, they have shown their true thoughts towards the other party very early on. Just after a fuck, then no further contact, maybe they may contact you in a few weeks, months...when they are ready for just another fuck. Maybe it just wasnt good for them? Who really knows. You have a great profile, indicates you are after more than just a fuck and go. The choice you now have, is how do you respond IF they contact you again. Do you just want to be a fuck? I do choose to believe, if they are interested in you on any level, they will stay in touch

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  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    8 years ago

    With everything ruby_blossom says. Personally, I found anyone who did the following left the building and all communications lines pretty much immediately post shag: - pushed to meet quickly - Asked for pic access within 2 messages - Asked to move to a different messaging system eg. Kik, where the requests for more pics would be regularly - Who often drop into conversation 'oh yes, totally we can just meet the first time.... but you're so cute/gorgeous/sexy, I may not be able to keep my hands off you (AKA... I will do everything in my power to shag the first and only time we meet). - Often enthusiastically agree that a long term arrangement is what they are after. - Asked about your friends... to gauge if they are open to play with them. Or even direct requests for it to happen. For some....and yes this applies to women, men, couples and everyone else..... the thrill is in the chase, the catch, and then release. After the mission is accomplished the interest is as spent as the used condom they left behind .

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    quoting EllaElla “I figure if someone is keen on you — they will do their best to keep you by iniating catch ups , conversation etc. “ That’s right. They are not that keen. The “initiating” may start up again when they get horny and they will probably have few women on the go to. I think we have all done it haven’t we? You have a hot lead up to the meet, have a date, have sex.... sex is okay but no fireworks. You might say lets catch up again but you don’t really care whether you do or not. Therefore no effort afterwards. If you haven’t heard from them within 24 hours they aren’t that keen. As Ruby says. NEXT! I ain’t got time to wait around. Certainly if I heard from them a week later and the sex was so so I wouldn’t even reply. :) If you really like them, I text the next day to say i had a good time and would be good to catch up again. No response within 24 hours. I loose their number. Onwards and upwards, ladies!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    This is the game one plays! I've had guys do it to me and I've done it to guys. Knowing that guys usually think pretty much the same as us, if not more simplistically (spelling right?!), I know that my reasons for not wanting to see them again, or to try, is because there was something missing in that meet, something thats put me off and led me to not wanting to pursue it further. It can even be something as simple as really bad breath. The key is to not put any emotion into any kind of communication until there's some sort of flow of communication after the first meet. I also like to suss people out long before I meet them but lets face it, guys will say and do anything to get you into bed, and if you're feeling lonely, you'll say and do anything to not have a night alone and try to call it love. Better to just keep your poker face on until the other person shows some interest beyond the first meet.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I suppose you could compare it to any old one night stand you encounter out in the Actual Real World - you both have a great time, you ask if you could meet up again and the opposite number says ''yeah, righto - that'd be great'' even though they are thinking no such thing but don't want to appear rude. Judging by the other posts here your profile says that you are after more than just a hookup, you will get partners that don't care about that and are prepared to do and say whatever to score, but also - as Candy said the sex might have been good or even great but no fireworks. They don't want to appear rude so they agree to future meets. Or it could be that they're just being an arsehole.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Even from a males perspective I’ve had this happen. But as others have said I know myself that if I’m keen on someone I do make the effort to keep in touch. That said in my opinion it all comes down to human decency. I aim to do what I expect from others. The reality is that we are not all compatible and feelings can change so be upfront and honest and if the mood/feelings aren’t right say so. I guess I’m the past I have also been in a situation once or twice where I have felt that because I went through the effort of greeting and eventually meeting that I have felt obliged to back that up with a physical encounter. As I say everything is an experience be it good or bad and my past choices have set standards for me that I now abide by. But back to the original post, it shows how fickle people are and better to know earlier rather than later. The trick is teach yourself to be mentally strong and not let these type of things eat at you. Relationships, swinging, sex in general, has the very real potential to screw with your head if youre not on your A game. J - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I just had the exact same thing happen to me. After reading mrsjonesy’s post, I had the “oh shit” moment. He did pretty much everything in that. Oh well off to find the next disappearing act, cause I am sure there will be a next one. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    8 years ago

    People ghost for all sorts of reasons. I wouldn't really call it mixed signals as such cause they're giving the silence. More just they are emotionally unavailable to you at that time. It doesn't just happen when on line. It can happen with friendships and family too. I think the key to ghosting is being aware of triggers. Like "too good to be true"/" future promises", things like that. This is why i believe (as a single person in early stages of meeting people), it's good to see and date more than one person. It allows one to compare qualities and traits one really want in person. So if they ghost, it's not really a quality one wants in a coupled committed relationship. It also helps put a stop to the feelings of rejection when one ghosts. Ms Foxy

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  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    8 years ago

    AG463 last paragraph. Well said. 👍 Ms Foxy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'unicorn_bubbles' I just had the exact same thing happen to me. After reading mrsjonesy’s post, I had the “oh shit” moment. He did pretty much everything in that. Oh well off to find the next disappearing act, cause I am sure there will be a next one. - Posted from rhpmobile Absolutely! Has happened numerous times, and most likely will again, no matter how many times you think "this time" might be different

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I am with CandyD, NEXT!! If I meet with someone and it is fun but they don't seem interested in meeting up again, continuing to pursue them doesn't make me feel good I like having the mental connection, so if someone was to go quiet for a little while but then come back again, I would probably consider another meet, had the first gone well. If they were to disappear for an extended time and then try again, yea, not gonna happen!! Like AG463 says, be mentally strong. Enter in to all this expecting some fun, but nothing more and then disappointment is less likely :)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Over the why's of what people do. I gave up on that along time ago. It is all about everyone's own individual agenda. Just because we might respect other people it doesn't mean we will get it back. If I am not interested I say so. The silence afterwards if you don't hear from someone is the answer in itself and yes some people are just assholes. My favourite saying is "If you don't have any expectations you are never disappointed". Ms Midnight

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    But we can’t give up hope. The next just might be different. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    8 years ago

    just soldier on , it is THEIR loss not yours Mr b - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • nightingale8

    nightingale8

    8 years ago

    I've been fortunate enough in my few RHP encounters not to have come across this (?yet). I think a big part of it is about your mindset - after sex I always thank them, if I really like them I'll message afterward to reiterate my appreciation, but at all times I acknowledge that it may be the only encounter and that's ok. The let down is only a sign the fun and attraction was real. Savour it. Your attitude to sex is your power (hee sorry for the new agey type reference but it's true). I do think it's particularly bad manners to just not reply if you do message them. But that's their problem, not yours. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    People’s attention spans are terribly short.... in their hand is a device which is designed to constantly distract and suck their attention away And that’s not an excuse for poor social skills.... just st the reality of the current situation. But logic says if you’re the compelling reason for the distraction, then you will override other distractions And if you’re not..... that’s their issue, not yours Walk slow, straight, keep your head high, move seductively through your world and smile to yourself knowing you’re one sexy mofo and not everyone deserves that 😎 - Posted from rhpmobile

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