M49
Mating for life
December 23 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hey heyutherehotstuff Wouldn't know as I have never had what I would consider to be a long-term relationship. I am a serial single. ..... xxx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Do you have friends that you have known for years and years who you love to spend time with? Friends you care about and would do anything for. Even when they shit you to tears, or when their life is falling to pieces and they expect you to help pick up the pieces - which you do without a second thought. So heytherehotstuff - if you can have a lasting friendships like that, why would you not be able to have a relationship that is "everlasting" ?
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't believe humans, in the main, were ever meant to mate for life. I know i've fallen in and out of love many times, and I view each of those relationships as a gift, They will always have a place in my heart. I think the idea of mating for life is the culture that has been thrust upon us by societal structures (religion & government). Having said that, there are exceptions to the rule.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Do you have friends that you have known for years and years who you love to spend time with? Friends you care about and would do anything for. Even when they shit you to tears, or when their life is falling to pieces and they expect you to help pick up the pieces - which you do without a second thought. So heytherehotstuff - if you can have a lasting friendships like that, why would you not be able to have a relationship that is "everlasting" ? Perfect observation and a wonderful perspective :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
I've fallen in lust many times but true, real and in every cell in my body love just once....that being said....nothing is guaranteed and even the most powerful, passionate and pure once in a lifetime kind of love needs to be worked at and nurtured so it stays healthy.He is my breath and i adore him but we go through hard times just like everyone else and shit each other to absoloute tears and the world would be a dark and sad place without him in it....he is my everlasting.xx Sweetie
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Do you have friends that you have known for years and years who you love to spend time with? Friends you care about and would do anything for. Even when they shit you to tears, or when their life is falling to pieces and they expect you to help pick up the pieces - which you do without a second thought. So heytherehotstuff - if you can have a lasting friendships like that, why would you not be able to have a relationship that is "everlasting" ? yes Meeka a valid point, many friends i have known since school days. however i dont have to live with them, sleep with them every night & they dont seem to get jealous or spiteful if i were to look at other women..i think people change a little over say a ten year period & i rekon that is the expiration date for a quality relationship..after that its just toleration. not that i would know. but opinions are like assholes.. every one has one.
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RHP User
15 years ago
In relation to penguins, yes they do mate for life, but in fact it has been observed by scientists that both the female and male of the species, will indulge in Sex with others. That is the case with virtually every animal, that have so called mates for life. Human beings are no exception. I read somewhre recently that a study showed,in long term relationships..10 years plus..that one of the partners had indulged in an act of infedility in approx 50% of those relationships. Humans were not born to be monogamus.If they were, sites like RHP would not exist.
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RHP User
15 years ago
We all know people who have been married 40, 50 years or more and are still very much in love, however this is becoming the exception now rather than the norm. Divorce is so much easier now than it was in the past. We no longer have to put up with a relationship that is not good and there is no stigma attached to those who chose to leave the marriage. Legislative changes such as the Matrimonial Properties Act gives women the rights over thier own money and the right to own property. It is now recognised that even if a woman does stay at home and raise the children they have contributed equaly to the marriage and should be entitled to half of the assets. 50 years ago this was not the case. 5o years ago even if a woman did work she was not even entitled to her own wages, they were the legal property of her husband. People change and grow in thier lives. Circumstances alter our perceptions and sometimes we grow together and other times apart. If only 50% of marriages end in divorce then that means the other 50% are remaining married. Surely not all couples in that remaining 50% are swingers or playing around extra-maritally. If, as you are asking, humans can not form lasting relationships without thier sex lives going stale, then the only hope is to become swingers.....or.....just not get married. Maybe we need to be changing those old vows from until death do us part to something to reflect our more modern world. Maybe ...until the woman down the road starts looking more attractive than you. ............until my personal trainer gets too friendly one day ............until I see the best man as the best man ............until I get bored with what we are doing and want to "find myself" In sickness and in health? Try until our bank balance is a little slim and someone can afford more toys than you. The possibilities are endless.
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RHP User
15 years ago
personally, i still believe in it. i just think that it has been parcelled up too long as a religious thing, rather than something that you choose to do, and choose to work at. it's a really, really hard thing to do - to get along with someone your whole life, despite outside influences, your own growth and change... and really, really hard things just aren't as attractive. it doesn't always work out of course - i'm a divorcee myself - but i'm not convinced that it's not a workable concept.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I believe long lasting (forever) love is possible but it takes a lot of continual effort and commitment from both. I also think just because a couple swings doesn't mean they aren't with their soul mate who they love deeply. I simply see sex as a choice. Love is an action. We can CHOOSE to only make love to one person, or we can CHOOSE to make love to many. But who I make love to and who I deeply LOVE are two different things. I refuse to stop searching. Hugs Miss Saturn
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RHP User
15 years ago
I fall in love with my guy everyday. Sure I think about playing with others but the urge to do so isn't there. We keep it fresh by trying new things and experimenting. Honesty and open communication is essential to make it work. Oh, and not forgetting you have to be attracted to the other person.
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RHP User
15 years ago
It is a very difficult question to answer, as we all have different goals and ambitions in life. Some put family before work, others put marriage before themselves, while other devote their entire life to making everyone else happy before themselves.All are valid life goals - opting to fall in love and mate with one person for the remainder of your life is a commitment. One that could be very difficult at times to keep. Life is getting more open and opportunities are abound.
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RHP User
15 years ago
My personal feeling is that we're not designed to mate for life, but despite that, some people just happen to find the right person and hang on for the whole ride. Given the historical trend in social conventions toward monogamy and it's relatively modest success, I just don't think we're wired that way. Periods of monogamy maybe, but not lifetimes of the stuff.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I read somewhere that you should have multiple partners in your life or at least three, because you all go through different stages in your life. When you are young you want hot, sexy, gorgeous, etc becuase you are interested in having fun and experimenting and learning. When you get to the stage that you want to settle down & start a family, and I guess I am speaking from a women's perspective, you want or look for someone who in addition to being sexually attractive will also be a good provider, good father, etc. Then once the children are grown you then start to think about yourself again and I guess your needs and what you want from your partner change. So you need something else again. Some people are very lucky and they manage to change or meet their partners needs their whole lives. But I don't think it is easy. xxx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Yes you are right you don't have to live with your best mates or have sex with them. Too true Heyutherehotstuff. xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I read somewhere that you should have multiple partners in your life or at least three, because you all go through different stages in your life. When you are young you want hot, sexy, gorgeous, etc becuase you are interested in having fun and experimenting and learning. When you get to the stage that you want to settle down & start a family, and I guess I am speaking from a women's perspective, you want or look for someone who in addition to being sexually attractive will also be a good provider, good father, etc. Then once the children are grown you then start to think about yourself again and I guess your needs and what you want from your partner change. So you need something else again. Some people are very lucky and they manage to change or meet their partners needs their whole lives. But I don't think it is easy. xxx Meeka I went through stage 2 first... Im now in stage 1... does that mean Ill end up with 0? or will it still add up to 3?:/LS
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RHP User
15 years ago
There are any number of creatures on this planet that do find and choose a mate for life…not just penguins. How boring would that be? I have to wear a suit enough as it is…and can’t imagine it 24/7 let alone just so my partner would recognize me. No thanks. | But then again…both the peregrine falcon and the great grey wolf do manage to find a life partner and I admire many of the characteristics of both. Maybe even have a few in common with them…so I wonder what their secret is? Maybe they know that if the feathers ruffle or the fur flies…you just need a little space. That would work for me. | That said, having to hand over my own free will to the conventions of any number of religions or needing to sign a legal document to declare my more spiritual intentions would be a waste of time…both would be given of my own free will and I would prefer to decide the moral dictates with the person and for the person intended. But that’s just my personal opinion, of course…and we are all entitled to them. | I think it would be kind of nice to be in someone's life and be able to say "do you remember when..." and they actually do...and more than just the night before. |Time to fly…almost midnight and I need to put on the bat suit!
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RHP User
15 years ago
LeoSteve - yes it is a simplistic view on things, but I guess it is saying that you need different things at different stages in your life and it is probably rare to find all you need in one person - that is a person who can satisfy you for a life time. Particularly those people who get married young - early 20's. You change so much each time you hit a new decade, well that has been my experience - so to be able to grow together in the same way would be extraordinary.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I read somewhere that you should have multiple partners in your life or at least three, because you all go through different stages in your life. When you are young you want hot, sexy, gorgeous, etc becuase you are interested in having fun and experimenting and learning. When you get to the stage that you want to settle down & start a family, and I guess I am speaking from a women's perspective, you want or look for someone who in addition to being sexually attractive will also be a good provider, good father, etc. Then once the children are grown you then start to think about yourself again and I guess your needs and what you want from your partner change. So you need something else again. Some people are very lucky and they manage to change or meet their partners needs their whole lives. But I don't think it is easy. xxx Meeka I am in big trouble now....I dont think stage 2 is going to happen to me...lol...(for non forum regulars or new forum contributors this really is a long standing joke) so what happens to me if I miss it?????? Or maybe I am always at stage 3 - thinking about myself, my needs... Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Focus - one thing I have learned - Never say never cause you just don't know what life will bring you or how you change as you get older. As for missing stage 2 - not sure?? But what about stage 4 & 5 - or even stage 69?? So many questions and so little time. LOL Meeka
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