M54
Masturbation Aids
August 05 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
For the contents of my fridge.... perthfun- dont stop there, Im wanting to know how the rockmelon "aids" you.... Mrs Sat..With one eye closed and one open to see what comes next....
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RHP User
15 years ago
A rock melon - the mind boggles! What did you do with it afterwards???? How about 4 donuts instead? PMSL Pusscat xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
What do you do with the rockmelon the mind boggles lol xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
but colder? xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' but colder? xFunlovingx ahhhh does that mean there would be shrinkage??? roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
I find a female partner is a great aid ciao Hermes
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RHP User
15 years ago
Look, if anyone needs aid in masturbating, just give me call. My mouth's free............lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Saturn65' For the contents of my fridge.... perthfun- dont stop there, Im wanting to know how the rockmelon "aids" you.... Mrs Sat..With one eye closed and one open to see what comes next....nothing wrong with fucking a nice juicy rock melon when theres nothing else around.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Saturn65' For the contents of my fridge.... perthfun- dont stop there, Im wanting to know how the rockmelon "aids" you.... Mrs Sat..With one eye closed and one open to see what comes next....nothing wrong with fucking a nice juicy rock melon when theres nothing else around.
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RHP User
15 years ago
You must have been pretty hard up.........hope you wacked it in the microwave first to make it feel natural???
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RHP User
15 years ago
Wacking a rockmelon in a microwave first so it can feel natural.... That is so hilarious. But fab_mr_fox sounds like you know what you are talking about. LOL. The mind does boggle. But if your talking about food well..... what about the ladies? cucumbers bananas can of coke bottle of coke Salami bread stick Hahahahahaha - I must confess I am pretty boring - I just use my fingers. Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Meeka, You've got to explore a little! Not too sure about the coke can though...."thats a big call!" Sweet potato.......have seen that.....and it wasn't just your regular shape either.....plenty of lumps and bumps! Fox
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RHP User
15 years ago
I used a zucchini once that was too small..... never again. Lost my grip and .... oooops... it disappeared up my ass! How do you explain that one to the ER staff! Luckily it came out eventually... after a bit of pushing. Has anyone else "lost something" or are there any hospital staff that have some good stories? I work with a guy who used to be a nurse and he had a guy come in with a wad of fishing line stuck up his penis! Was a monthly occurance with this guy. Then there was the guy who had stuck a lightbulb us his ass. Unfortunately for him it broke inside him and made mince meat out of his innards! The things people stick inside themselves... the mind does boggle!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Get a Hitachi Magic wand. And cum over and over and over and over and over and over........Bliss for boys and girls!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
SweetwthDesire - I have never heard anyone admit to that before. How did you loose it up there????? Where you scared?? How on earth would you have explained that one to the doctor - sorry I feel into the vegetable crisper and it just went up my arse... Quoting 'sweetwithdesire'I used a zucchini once that was too small..... never again. Lost my grip and .... oooops... it disappeared up my ass! How do you explain that one to the ER staff! Luckily it came out eventually... after a bit of pushing. Has anyone else "lost something" or are there any hospital staff that have some good stories? I work with a guy who used to be a nurse and he had a guy come in with a wad of fishing line stuck up his penis! Was a monthly occurance with this guy. Then there was the guy who had stuck a lightbulb us his ass. Unfortunately for him it broke inside him and made mince meat out of his innards! The things people stick inside themselves... the mind does boggle!
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RHP User
15 years ago
thats all Im saying :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
SASSY !!!!!! you told me they were for making banana muffins !!! OMG I will be sooo nervous when you come open my freezer now........LOL
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am amazed. Did you have to buy it a Midori first..or did it just roll over for you? There is a one liner just hanging here about melon balls...but I will leave it alone.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have tried a fleshlight, amazing...... I thought i was a stayer but honestly, i couldnt last more than about a minute without taking a breather.... It's even more fun with a friend, watching porn and fucking the fleshlight then swapping back and forwqards, seeing who can last the longest is a great way to spend time.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi! Yes the Rockmelon was interesting although I'd rather eat it than wear it..Or Have my Lover eat it whilst I wear over My Pussy.it would be fun. "Necessity Is the Mother of Invention" .My Toys of choice are 1. Stick of Celery or more ,it can be cut to any length .Is very flexible , ut firm.. My Main Sex Toy is a Thin plastic covered Coat Hanger ., Bent like a boomerang...It's light flexible, gets into all the right areas.I Use the tip to tease My clit too.It has equal leverage spring action .All I need do is hold onto 1 end or the hook if I want to be more adventurous ..I Orgasm in just a few minutes ..It's Portabe and easy to clean, cheap to replace. Try it and enjoy ...Lol Lu )
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'MadamDragonfly' Hi! Yes the Rockmelon was interesting although I'd rather eat it than wear it..Or Have my Lover eat it whilst I wear over My Pussy.it would be fun. "Necessity Is the Mother of Invention" .My Toys of choice are 1. Stick of Celery or more ,it can be cut to any length .Is very flexible , ut firm.. My Main Sex Toy is a Thin plastic covered Coat Hanger ., Bent like a boomerang...It's light flexible, gets into all the right areas.I Use the tip to tease My clit too.It has equal leverage spring action .All I need do is hold onto 1 end or the hook if I want to be more adventurous ..I Orgasm in just a few minutes ..It's Portabe and easy to clean, cheap to replace. Try it and enjoy ...Lol Lu )
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sassyme - Frozen bananas?? But what about freezer burn??
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RHP User
15 years ago
would help if I could spell - I mean coat hangar.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Sassyme - Frozen bananas?? But what about freezer burn?? That's always worried me about raiding the freezer ... iceblocks... frozen pork fillets... chilled glass dildos.. etc... what abut chillblains on the snapper .. jeese that'd be rough@!HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Quoting 'Meeka100' Sassyme - Frozen bananas?? But what about freezer burn?? That's always worried me about raiding the freezer ... iceblocks... frozen pork fillets... chilled glass dildos.. etc... what abut chillblains on the snapper .. jeese that'd be rough@!HugsStalky Ever watched Dumb & Dumber where his tongue gets stuck to the ice and he had to peal it off. LOL I suppose if the pork fillet get "stuck" you would have to wait for it to defrost I guess. Mmmmm Getting hungry - BBQ anyone.
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RHP User
15 years ago
How long do I microwave my attractive little rock melon for, and if using a convenction microwave, what setting ??
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RHP User
15 years ago
hmm meeka , i think you had it right first time , hanger = something that hangsor is used to hang Hangar = somewhere to park the Lear Jet.... Dahhling
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RHP User
15 years ago
well its another great use for condoms :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
but Sassy......wont the condoms melt when you cook the muffins ???????? lol.....bit chewy hun !! I think id rather just have my muffin with a cuppa thanks ..ok maybe some cream on the side
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think lessons might be good for the girls night in lol :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'would help if I could spell - I mean coat hangar. It;s cool Hun dont worry about the spelilng , I'm not . If you get bored give the coat hanger a try It never hurts to broaden your knowledge and skills he!he! Enjoy Lu
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'pheasant_plucker'hmm meeka , i think you had it right first time , hanger = something that hangsor is used to hang Hangar = somewhere to park the Lear Jet.... DahhlingThanks my lil dumpling- my spelling is atrocious today.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I bought a second cheap electric toothbrush and ooh the vibrating head was ummm... very stimulating! ;-) The rotating bit was heavenly on my clit... Just have to remember not to get the two mixed up! LOL
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RHP User
15 years ago
I know it's totally unoriginal but using fruit and veg just seems wrong...I think I'll stick with my glass dildo, with its spiky'ness...it works for me and I get so I need something with more life to it...;)
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RHP User
15 years ago
The most impressive one I've seen was a lady use the knob of my bed in her pussy with a butt plug in her bum at the same time. The lady was quite the experimental masterbater and had a basic rule of "bigger is better" which was lots of fun.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Damn it !! Rockmelon makes my throat scratchy !........hang on maybe the frozen banana will help sooth it ????? LOL FriendlyBBW....3 times a day ?lucky girl lol ......was flossing necessary ????.....theres a thousand questions....were you having regular check up with a dentist ??.....electric tooth brush hey .....put a sparkle in your smile.... lol love it
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Ruggedly_Rugged' The most impressive one I've seen was a lady use the knob of my bed in her pussy with a butt plug in her bum at the same time. The lady was quite the experimental masterbater and had a basic rule of "bigger is better" which was lots of fun. Is that like humping the hind leg off a chair?? xx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
UUmmm. Rockmelon, watermelon, oranges (Navel better than Valencia), yes. Carrots, cucumbers not yet. lol Between the mattress and base. Don't forget the vacuum cleaner
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RHP User
15 years ago
mmmm... melon, apple, orange, banana, pineapple and a few strawberries.... mix in a dollop or two of sweet yogurt... enough enery to get into "round two" then go hard like a rhino on speed... XXX
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RHP User
15 years ago
mmmm... melon, apple, orange, banana, pineapple and a few strawberries.... mix in a dollop or two of sweet yogurt... enough enery to get into "round two" then go hard like a rhino on speed... XXX
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RHP User
15 years ago
I dunno maybe i am old fashioned and all but lube and my right hand? that works for me....i am trying to cut down on my porn intake because ui hear that can desensitise you.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Vacuum cleaner is good. Used panties hmmm.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Reading sum of these msgs well it brings a whole new meaning to tossing the salad or is that fruit salad. N guessing it cums with extra mayo, lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
The flesh light is now old technology all though in the US there is a new twist pun intended where the FLESH LITE can be attached to high speed drill... use plenty of LUBE for a friction free experiences.. it will make you head(s) spin literally. Further the new mechanical fucking machines.. the most portable combine a hand held saw with a click on DILDO.. this is capable of fucking experience no guy on RHP can ever match in short the ultimate bionic cock... We also have a Sybian which is the ultimate female masturbation toy... yet even that is old tech.. new tech lies in the world of Elctro sex.... which for male and female masturbation is now the gold standard... for a different brain snapping experience as for females many find GOD or at least that is what they keep mumbling across... multi screams... although we would caution tech is only as good as the operator and the more high tech toys do have to be very carefully handled as a woman in texas using a DIY home saw converted DILDO found out... electro sex is an art as you need to invest in quality gear that allows an ability to change frequency, pulse and type of flow to suit the needs of the individual.... none should be anything but super charged and pleasant... so types of devices... are not suited to some people... our other ... passive toys are stainless steel... by mejoy.. all sizes and shapes and pyrex glass as both look great, are frictionless and can be heated or made cold and can be cleaned 100% unlike many other toys... so play on we are ever vigilant in the pursuit of happiness....t and l
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ummmm how big is your bed post ????
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Ruggedly_Rugged' The most impressive one I've seen was a lady use the knob of my bed in her pussy with a butt plug in her bum at the same time. The lady was quite the experimental masterbater and had a basic rule of "bigger is better" which was lots of fun. That's clasic I was doing that on my own bed befor I moved out of home due to a small house and extra thin walls battries were not an option LOL
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RHP User
15 years ago
have also tried rockmelon. i fell in love hahahahahahah. woamn have there dildos and vibes. i bought a pocket pussy. no man should be without one. mmmm hahaha
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RHP User
15 years ago
My stuffed toy frog, courtesy of a little incision in his fur, got a real pounding when i was younger..as in early teens...lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
it's quite interesting how some people ignore the male psyche...men would fuck anything that they could dig their dicks into so it's not uncommon that we fuck anything we can find in the frige. so i salute you perthfun67. you have opened a frige and cupboard load to talk about.
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RHP User
15 years ago
a bag of mince , then invite ya mates ova for some spag bog, watch there faces wen u tell em, lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'xxnightrainxx'a bag of mince , then invite ya mates ova for some spag bog, watch there faces wen u tell em, lol Have you seriously done that?? What about one of those whole livers you can get from the butcher. xxx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
What about leaning against your washing machine as it is going full spin.... For the exhibitionist - you can always go to the laundry mat. Oh yeah baby. xxx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'atlantis7'have also tried rockmelon. i fell in love hahahahahahah. woamn have there dildos and vibes. i bought a pocket pussy. no man should be without one. mmmm hahaha Hey atlantis7 - what the hell is a pocket pussy? Is that the equivalent of a male purse - you know where you keep all your spending money. Hahaha. Seriously - what does it look like? What if it fell out of your pocket ? What would ya do? OMG how embarressment.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Saturn65' For the contents of my fridge.... perthfun- dont stop there, Im wanting to know how the rockmelon "aids" you.... Mrs Sat..With one eye closed and one open to see what comes next....
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dartos
15 years ago
How about a chopstick ? a female friend was giving me a head and hand job, she slid a chopstick into my penis, the first part of the entry was a bit tender but after that it was ok, she slid the chopstick to at least 6 inches, and all the time kept masturbating me and i was so rock hard, she kept masturbating me till i cum, and the cum oozed out of my cock with the chopstick still in my penis. She then removed the chopstick slowly, and licked the chopstick clean.
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RHP User
15 years ago
no i havnt done that, i would like to, but i think id get seriously hurt if i done it to my mates, be betta for those relly's u dont like, good idea for jackass
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think i just got it Sassy....you meant banana muff.......not muffin.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Nothing, but nothing beats the sensation of a mango.....then you get to eat it!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I witnessed a guy with a big piece of raw steak once, wrapped it around his tool and jerked off.... said it was like the real thing.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
lol i like nice and simple num my hand by sitting on it then masturbate, whos there hun.
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HUGH67
15 years ago
OK team, sure I'll try anything once, why not!better go shopping today!sounds like fun?Cheers EHoney dew or Rock-melon?????
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RHP User
15 years ago
oooh and any other night for that matter.... Miss B can we go fruit and vegi shopping again this saturday please .... pretty pretty please... I promise to be a good girl .. I really do :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
and people I do mean food shopping lol hen againeven going to buy a new bed now has to take in new meaning,,,,,,,,,, do they let you take a lady and try ut the bed posts before buying lol or do you lift the skirt and have a measure test ....... to the rockmellons in the start WTF who came up with that lol please keep this going there must be many unused food and gadgets to give self pleasure ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, right left right left right left ,,,,,,,,,,,, handyyyyyyyyyyyyy Andy xxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
But dont be asking me to bend over and put the stuff away in the freezer LOL !!...................unless.............. its going to be really hot this weekend ????....lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Maxking2010'My stuffed toy frog, courtesy of a little incision in his fur, got a real pounding when i was younger..as in early teens...lol Checking my children's stuffed toys now!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Good Porn and lubricant are great aids. Some unmentionables used before I bought a butt plug. Must say that I do like the feel of a breeze on my genitals, so a fan can be subtle and stimulating.
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RHP User
15 years ago
BUT...you are going to have to explain to me how the hell do you use a MANGO to masterbate with as a guy ???????? Did I miss something in translation ?? Do you chill it and hold it dear ?? Do you skinn it first ??? Do you use the skin ?? Do you use two mangoes ? . ..ooohh Im not going to be able to sleep till I have answers !!! lol (all those mangos that went to waste in our backyard as a kid )
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'missbowpeek' BUT...you are going to have to explain to me how the hell do you use a MANGO to masterbate with as a guy ???????? Did I miss something in translation ?? Do you chill it and hold it dear ?? Do you skinn it first ??? Do you use the skin ?? Do you use two mangoes ? . ..ooohh Im not going to be able to sleep till I have answers !!! lol (all those mangos that went to waste in our backyard as a kid )Thinking I need the same explanation here!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Open a bottle of bubbly! on pussy feels awesome! & get partner to lick it saves glasses! great ways to share! pleasure his penis with a mouth full of champane! xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
masturbation! I got a bit carried away thinking about champane! But really I have a favourite Vibrator which I have had for years When I dont have a partner that does it for me real good! But really I prefer to play with toys with a partner much more! xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi MissBowPeek - I know a girl who has a trick she calls mango suprise. She peals the mango then takes the skin which usually still has quite abit of mango still on it and raps it around her partners cock as she gives him a hand & head job. So that way when he comes in her mouth she gets abit of cum and mango together. xxx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Lol Meeka ...sounds um...yummy......do you think she invented the weiss icecream bar ????LOL
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RHP User
15 years ago
Haha, I know everyone says this, buttt a friend of mine reckons that he once used a vacuum cleaner. Yeah, I was as shocked as you guys probably now are.
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RHP User
15 years ago
best thing is everyones got great ideas on how to improve on something so pleasurable anyway. being we are on fruit , cut tw sides of a mangoso you have the skin and the flesh. on a warm day its sensational. your partner thinks its fun after she has finished with cucumber and will lick the flesh off
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RHP User
15 years ago
Not sure if you have heard of this one... Talked to a guy years ago who used to use lube and a condom inside a rolled up sock. seemed to work.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have a theory that I just came up with recently about this - masturbation aisd for men are few are far between at best... very poorly serviced market. but... porn is vibrators for men there ya go ladies... myth no longer... keep your toys... the lads arent into physical stimulation, we have hands... give us a mind game any day and we are in ;) LS
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RHP User
15 years ago
Use the mango skin. Peel the mango so that some pulp is left on the skin then guys or girls rub the pulp side on your partners cilt or wrap it around his cock and give him a slow wank as you suck his cock. You get the bonus of a great head job and a wank at the same time and the girl gets the taste of mango. Guys rub the pulp against your partners clit they love it and you get to taste amgo when you go down on her too. Mango has given me some of the most intense orgasams ever for me and my partners
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RHP User
15 years ago
and to think I have just been enjoying mangoes on their own all these years.........and all those masterbation aids left to waste in the ground through out my youth !!!!............come hither someone and lets enjoy the fruits of summer together LOL
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RHP User
14 years ago
So is anyone going to be fucking a pumpkin head tonight? Haha found this old thread - pretty funny!
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RHP User
14 years ago
So is anyone going to be fucking a pumpkin head tonight? Haha found this old thread - pretty funny!
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RHP User
14 years ago
and yet disturbing in so many ways...Thanks Meeka for bringing it back out
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RHP User
14 years ago
and yet disturbing in so many ways...Thanks Meeka for bringing it back out of the archives
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RHP User
14 years ago
Always digging around in the deep dark depths....... of the forums
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RHP User
14 years ago
Some of them may have over indulged.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Did the vacuum cleaner thing when I was a teenager. Also found the gap between a mattress and base was just the right height when kneeling - but definitely need a condom. Done the melon but also an orange and have the video if anyone is interested lol.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Fruit porn .. Is that why you call yourself lime, was it a subconscious thing?? Lol xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
someone's on fire tonight.....you're cracking me up Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks for bringing this forum back to life Meeka. It was certainly interesting.....and somewhat disturbing like the chopstick! Ouch! The mind boggles!!!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Fess up don't be shy, who had a pumpkin cream pie last night. ((^~^))
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RHP User
14 years ago
'cream' of pumpkin soup? yummo?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Was it wrong to think of a Wiggles song? Eek. Seriously this topic is an eye opener! Rockmelon, Chopsticks, Coat hangers! Bloody hell, self pleasure for the thrifty yet adventurous!Freakishly enough I figured out how to use the mango before it was explained...wow I wanted in but I don't even know how to contribute to this topic, I really don't. xx Salina
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RHP User
14 years ago
There was no pumpkin lurrrve Meeks.....but as I was laying back trying to get somewhere near your record (never gunna happen) I momentarily opened my eyes to see a spider on the roof !!!!!!! Talk about a buzz kill lol.......took ages to get rid of those damn goosebumps too.
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