M52
Married men profiles
August 30 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
yes, providing he would be available for more, than just setting a date...i personally enjoy the mental foreplay, the sexual banter...the build up... i find though, that often men, who are attached, would not be able to/allowed to send texts, exchange naughty pictures...etc...as any other kind of involvement, apart from the actual play, would be considered as a perhaps slightly deeper connection, that what the partner is comfortable with (that if she actually knows about it all)... but if interaction was allowed, then why not ?...
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RHP User
11 years ago
An open relationship is an open relationship. Providing I could verify it was open and what the ground rules were e.g. the other partner confirmed these, I wouldn't see a problem with it. That's assuming I only wanted NSA, FB, FWB etc, which I don't. But if I did, all good ...
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Curved4FunTime
11 years ago
Oh no if there is no interaction what's the point. That's the chase, the excitement before you meet. Oh yes I'll interact ;-)
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
Hubby's got 'permission to play' under the right circumstances that work with our 'rules'. Talking him picking up at night out in the vanilla world. One of the rules is that he tells her as soon as it's clear there's chemistry. I've offered to be available for a call if it's needed. It's the dishonesty and sneaking that turns me off, so if there's none of that going on then no problem at all. I'd want to really know the 'permission to play' isn't just a line though, and besides a call, or knowing the couple in question who can that really be verified? We played with a guy, who was 1/2 of a couple here on RHP, we'd seen the out at parties a few times. His story checked out. However he wouldn't stop talking about his wife. Got really old after the first 5 minutes so don't do that...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not unless his wife was part of it, or at least at the same house/party/hotel or whatever, and knew what was going on. I will never trust anyone I don't know, so why would I believe a guy telling me he's in an open relationship. Also as a single woman, I'm open to a relationship, and I don't want to risk developing feelings for someone I can never have.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I want more than that. No judging, Just not interested.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Done it as part of an open relationship. I was always up front about it, and it was sometimes hard to convince people that I wasn't sneaking about! Best thing you can do - arrange for the lady or couple to contact the other half by phone - it removes any doubts. If blokes refuse to do that, then the warning bells should start ringing.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Deprnds are you allowed sleep overs? The odd weekend away? Can we go out to dinner, hang out for a day here and there?
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RHP User
11 years ago
You have ask me on your relationship status and nowhere in your profile do you say that you are in an open relationship. I for one, and I am sure lots of other women too, would immediately assume you are married and cheating on your wife. I wouldn't bother to ask about your status... I would just say Next! Up to you of course, but if you find you are not having much luck on RHP, I would really explain in your profile that you are in an open relationship.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I assume being able to prove you are on the level means that your wife will hat or meet your play mates.:)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hat = chat
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Curved4FunTime
11 years ago
I used to have on my status exactly all that you have just mentioned. Didn't seem to get as much attention. So I thought I'd try a different approach. I do get more attention this way. I don't lie about my marital status if I talk to ladies. My wife knows what I get up to. As well as me knowing what she is doing. And if the ladies wanted to confirm that I'm on the level my wife could confirm
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Who's to know YOUR partner may think it is OK. How do we know? One would be gullible and naive to believe if they were just "told"......so nah wouldn't go there. The proof is in the pudding. OP, What exactly do you mean by...... "that he could prove he was on the level with you"?? What exactly does "level" mean? Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
For two reasons... 1,,... I would just presume he was a married man, telling any woman lies in order to get laid... 2,..,, if I knew it was a genuine open r/ship, I would feel uneasy about the fact that he would probably go home & tell wifey all the juicy sexual detas of our night.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
being single I am just not interested in married/attached guys, I am looking for someone for me, not be someone's back up plan.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have often wondered about this. In the past I've written off as just my programming. But..... How can you honestly expect to be on the same level as a single?? The risks are that your playmate may fall for you. Then what?? You'll run back to the missus and life goes on as normal while the lady is then left disheartened. While it may be just sex for you it may be a lot more over an extended period of regular contact for her.... So to me you are UNABLE to be on the same level as a single even though I'm sure you're well intended. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' An open relationship is an open relationship. Providing I could verify it was open and what the ground rules were e.g. the other partner confirmed these, I wouldn't see a problem with it. That's assuming I only wanted NSA, FB, FWB etc, which I don't. But if I did, all good ... My profile states "I have no desire to be involved with local men that are attached or married." However, I do prefer men who are "available". ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
how do I delete my comment? The quote was mistaken :(
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'sensualtimestoo' yes, providing he would be available for more, than just setting a date...i personally enjoy the mental foreplay, the sexual banter...the build up... i find though, that often men, who are attached, would not be able to/allowed to send texts, exchange naughty pictures...etc...as any other kind of involvement, apart from the actual play, would be considered as a perhaps slightly deeper connection, that what the partner is comfortable with (that if she actually knows about it all)... but if interaction was allowed, then why not ?... My profile states that "I have no desire to be involved with LOCAL men that are attached or married." However, I do prefer men who are "available". ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some people may say there fine with it and even hide those green eyes ! But then the green eyed monster can appear without warning:)
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RHP User
11 years ago
My hubby is a great guy and a sexy lover so if you get the chance you won't be disappointed ;) There are so many cheaters though (male and female)!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Because I am married too. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm not interested in married men at all. I want my own man, not someone else's. I'm happy to share my man, but only when I'm present. :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You have ask me on your relationship status and nowhere in your profile do you say that you are in an open relationship. I for one, and I am sure lots of other women too, would immediately assume you are married and cheating on your wife. Do mention the fact you have permission from your wife in your profile and add that she is willing to confirm what you are saying. To answer your initial question: I have slept with a man without his girlfriend, but I knew her and she had personally assured me she was happy with the situation. Her one rule was that he never slept over, which made perfect sense to all of us. I could see myself do it again, but only if I had met the man's (or woman's!) partner face to face and we all agreed on the rules.
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RHP User
11 years ago
And have a fair few married guys tell us there wife are fine with it and we tell them that is fine just get your wife to come for a coffee with you to meet us for a start to varify she is ok with it we don't expect her to be there after Funny though none have messaged back after we tell them that is the stipulation of us meeting up - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
You say to mention that we have permission to play away, I'm sure it does make a difference to some. In my case I may have permission but that doesn't mean that I would ask her to confirm it to a potential lover. If all goes well she'll never know when I do get lucky, it's a discretion thing. If she asks me I won't lie to her but I won't volunteer any information until she asks. We had "the conversation" again recently, this time it was at her instigation which tells me she is more accepting of the inevitable. I have been known to discourage single women from making advances and have been knocked by a divorcee because I was not as emotionally available as she wanted.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Jack_Denials' In my case I may have permission but that doesn't mean that I would ask her to confirm it to a potential lover. OP, you say you can prove you are "on the level", which I have assumed to mean you level with your wife about your extramarital sexual encounters. Is that what you meant?Do you have a different way of proving she is aware and ok with it to any potential lovers?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Gimmefuntime's comment has appeared on the previous page. He says that his wife will confirm that she is all good with it. :D
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is a resounding no for us. We agreed very early on in this journey that we would not even form friendships with anyone who is married/attached and playing alone. Permissions and open marriages have absolutely no bearing on that decision. Just our choice as it's not something we want to be involved in really. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Even if you have full permission I'm sure there are still rules. I don't like being told not to scratch or bite, it makes me feel like I have to curb my, ummmm, enthusiasm. I also don't like it if my lover "has to have a shower"before he leaves, because let's face it, not many women want the scent of another woman on their man. And then there's the spur of the moment booty call. It's not often that this is possible even if you are in an open relationship, or have full permission from your partner. So no, not for me, too many restrictions.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm 50/50 in this situation. No my relationship is not open (yet) but this is precisely what I want (and am aiming to establish - literally in the next week or two). No I don't play the field, and I am VERY sensitive to being labelled a cheating cad. That is not remotely the truth - and in fact - I have been extremely well behaved, to my own detriment, for many years. Ultimately I hate any level of sneakiness though, so want to be 100% up front. In the end I don't imagine it will make much difference to responses from RHP ladies, as my partner is very unlikely to get involved or contact potential suitors (even if she finally excepts me needs and goes with the open situation). So ultimately potential female co-explorers will probably assume I'm full of BS and my partner knows nothing of openness etc. Can't say I blame this as there are so many fakers and BS artists from both sexes about. Does make it hard for us straight shooters tho. Oh well, best of luck to any who have the decency to be honest about their situation. FFB : )
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RHP User
11 years ago
But then big difference was that it was not an open marriage . He was basically just a cheater. The whole experience left me cynical, resentful and even more distrusting than before As a couple , not a problem, but with or without permission never one on one again with a married man :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Curved4FunTime
11 years ago
Wow I'm surprised with some of the comments on here. I thought that rhp was a place to have fun with someone you are attracted to. Apparently not if you are a married man. It seems that we must be cheating and treating our wives badly. Well I for one love my wife very much. She will agree with this statement and without a doubt confirm that all is good for extra playing outside of us. I'm not looking for an extra relationship. Friends with benefits yeah, but nothing more. Do any other women out there want the same? Or is it not possible for a lady to just have some fun? I think if I changed my profile to married and mention my wife is ok with me playing then judging by the comments on here I would get far less interest. Rant over. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Curved4FunTime
11 years ago
There you go it says married. Open and honest :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
seem to be surprised that many single women dont want anything to do with them. GimmeFunTime, you say that you thought RHP was a place to have fun with someone you are attracted to. That part is true...many women are just not attracted to married men, just accept that. You have nothing to offer many of us other than sex. Some women are fine with that. The best way to find them is to read profiles, if a woman says no married or attached men, dont bother contacting them,quite simple really.
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Curved4FunTime
11 years ago
Yeah you make a good point there ruby. I do read people's profiles. I don't contact them if they don't want me to. Enough said from me. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Curved4FunTime
11 years ago
I'm not just about sex. It's being friends and having fun. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'GimmeFunTime' Wow I'm surprised with some of the comments on here. I thought that rhp was a place to have fun with someone you are attracted to. Apparently not if you are a married man. \(...) Or is it not possible for a lady to just have some fun? I think it is fair to say that most women are here because they enjoy sex and like to have fun. However, we all have our own morals as well as personal preferences. If you don't want to feel judged, I don't think it's right for you to judge the women who decline to have sex with you, whatever their reasons are.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I actually prefer men in open relationships, I'm married and have my primary relationship, I don't want anything more than great sex, some cheeky banter and fun times, I don't want a poly relationship and I certainly don't want a man who ends up wanting more than I am prepared to give (it happens) So married men in open relationships are a good option for me and overlooked by so many due to suspicians/judgements or perceived unavailabiity. I have a wonderful fwb who I see usually once a week has taken me out and come and seen our band play, he's a facebook friend, he texts to say hi as a well as naughty stuff and is genuinely interested in me as a person whilst still loving and respecting his wife who I have met. One of my other friends is also in an open relationship, we have more of a fuckbuddy relationship, we text to arrange meets a little chat and sexting, we only see each other every couple weeks and always have a great time when we do. His wife also knows about me, his adoration for his wife is obvious and honest, we haven't met but I'm hoping we will! Both men are absolute gorgeous guys, fun, respectful and know how to please. I believe they treat me the way they want their wives to be treated and they also understand what it is to play by rules/boundaries and being thoughtful towards a primary partner. Good Luck, I hope that's a bit more positive for you
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nailed it ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
So because I do not wish to have sex with a married man cheating or in a open relationship I am not considered fun or open minded now. What a interesting thought deduction I like my fun to extend from Friday night through to Monday morning, if all is well, l and not watch my lover go home to his wife and family. Why would I be the second best ? You are perhaps best to finding lovers who are in the same relationship status as you Never have a affair or a bit of fun with someone who has less to lose/loss than you do
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Curved4FunTime
11 years ago
:-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' However, we all have our own morals as well as personal preferences. If you don't want to feel judged, I don't think it's right for you to judge the women who decline to have sex with you, whatever their reasons are.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'CheekyCap'RHP is about fun. Not a possible future partner though :)My hubby is a great guy and a sexy lover so if you get the chance you won't be disappointed ;) There are so many cheaters though (male and female)!!! - Posted from rhpmobile ?? I don't think you can really speak for everyone on this CheekyCap.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Put simply, yes. For those of us in open relationships, secondary partnerships without hassle are an ideal arrangement. . As some others have said, I too would prefer to understand and perhaps verify your situation and be sure that the boundaries of both of our primary relationships were understood and respected. . Whilst I agree that you'd probably receive less interest taking the honest approach in your profile and spelling out your situation clearly, I would be a little put off by you not mentioning it in your profile. Be honest, upfront and you will attract the types of people whose interests and wants match yours. By not mentioning it, you restrict yourself. I too would have gone straight past your 'Ask Me', in spite of (technically at least) being an understanding and accepting match for what you say you are looking for. . Flirty x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'GimmeFunTime' Yeah you make a good point there ruby. I do read people's profiles. I don't contact them if they don't want me to. Enough said from me. - Posted from rhpmobile Plus one
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with Buring_Love. All these couples saying this is not a site for relationships are cruising for a bruising. If your hubby is so wonderful.... what is stopping another woman wanting him for herself. It is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Someone is going to loose an eye.
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I agree with Buring_Love. All these couples saying this is not a site for relationships are cruising for a bruising. If your hubby is so wonderful.... what is stopping another woman wanting him for herself. It is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Someone is going to loose an eye. That's why we have rules, they hinder our hedonist pursuits but are in place as a safety net. I've had obsessive boyfriends and guys who just liked me get obsessive. Conversely I fell head over heels in love with MrParadise from our very first date, so I know that can happen. And I'm really wary of crazy ladies, because I've had a few in my vanilla circles, including a nearest and dearest. Of course married ladies can be craycray too but they've generally got to have either an equally batshit, stupidly tolerant or totally adoring partner for any relationship to last. But yes rules help enforce detachment, we've got a sexually open relationship, but not emotionally. Which is I guess why so many single women aren't even interested in men who are genuinely 'permission to play'.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I agree with Buring_Love. All these couples saying this is not a site for relationships are cruising for a bruising. If your hubby is so wonderful.... what is stopping another woman wanting him for herself. It is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Someone is going to loose an eye. Ha ha, Meeks - I think the only one you missed there was: "We were just glad to get a win today, and looking forward to a new challenge next week."
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RHP User
11 years ago
in an open relationship. He's lovely, considerate and I enjoy his company in and out of the bedroom. I know where the boundaries are and they suit me perfectly. I definitely do not want a relationship and I'm happy to have someone in my life who I'm fond of without worrying that anything more will come from it. We still stay in touch between visits, flirting, reminiscing and teasing about what we'll get up to next time and I think that is important. So OP, there are women who will want what you're offering and there will be women who won't... But isn't that always the case anyway? :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Cuckle_shells' I understand what you are saying. Some couples seem to be closed off to the idea of multiple relationships. No that isn't what I was saying at all. I think some people seem to assume that everyone is here just for sex but that just isn't true. Lots of us are after more than just a bonk. Look at CheekyCap's comment (sorry CheekyCap I am just using you as an example this isn't anything personal :) ) She first says that RHP is about fun and not for finding future partners, and then goes on to say, try my husband because he is a great guy and a sexy lover who doesn't disappoint. I think her thinking may get her in trouble at some point because I assume from her comment that she isn't taking all the reasons why are person is on RHP into account and how that might impact on her and her hubby. I am just taking that from one comment so I am sure CheekyCap has it all under control, but I have noticed in the past couples making similar comments. I mean if your husband is so wonderful, well I just might want him for myself. Might I? I might just steal him away.
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RHP User
11 years ago
being in an open relationship than on other sites, but at the end of the day, most women (note the 'most' there) want to be the centre of attention and wouldn't like the fact that you go home to your wife after spending time with them. Obviously this discounts the fact that if you were single you could just be going on to the next root you've found online (if that's your style). Basically they like to think you're theirs :) Just to clarify, this is just what most women are like (and it's their choice, so all power to them), but there are still ones on here who either don't mind that you're married, and a few who even prefer it. All I can add though, is be honest about it, it may hurt your chances initially a bit more, but it will hurt them a lot less than trying to cover it up and them finding out later. Good luck
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'GimmeFunTime' I'm not just about sex. It's being friends and having fun. - Posted from rhpmobile and aren't you worried that some woman is going to get attached to you if you are indeed friends and it isn't all about sex? That is a big hiccup in your marriage if that happens and being single, I don't want to develop feelings with a married man either. It is easier just to stay away for me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If polyamory was on the table I'd think about it. Otherwise, the potential that we really hit it off and want more is just too complicated. There are too many straightforward single guys who offer less complications to make it worth the risk.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hey OP, Great topic, and good on you for bringing it up. I've been on RHP for close to 2 years myself. My profile from day 1 has said that I am in an open marriage. Early on I was surprised by the amount of woman who were distrustful or had a problem with my situation....but over time I realised it's actually a blessing...by in large the women I have met have been exactly what I was looking for and vice versa....your profile will help you meet the type of women that you actually want to/should meet. .I would also add that there has been real genuine friendships and intimacy as well (for those thinking this isn't possible). One of my FWB and I have caught up regularly for well over a year, and I consider her to be a close friend and lover...and recently I have been fortunate enough to meet someone else, who I an absolute gem of a person as well. There have actually been several occasions where I have met women who didn't want 'conventional' relationships, and I helped fill a void ( no pun intended)...but I eventually I got the phone call that they had now met someone special, and so our brief time together had to finish....I was and remain genuinely Delighted for them.. They were a beautiful addition to my life for a while, and now we move on. And surely it's a clever/mature and very practical to have a FWB (male or female) to help with your social and sexual needs, while you are not wanting a 'conventional' relationship?? I would also like to add OP that good on you for being honest....the amount of profiles I see ( women's....but only because I'm only looking at women's, I'm sure it's the same for men's) that have 'ask me' in the relationship status.... I mean for the doubters out there, why would someone NOT in an open marriage, say that they ARE???....it would be SO much easier to say we were single, we live in another state, we are a soldier going of to war tomorrow (any other convenient bullshit) to get what we wanted......honestly, if someone was going to bullshit, surely they would go the whole way? Lastly, let me just finish by saying, that I completely understand if someone isn't into my situation personally, and finds it unacceptable for their needs, BUT appreciate it when it's said without judgement, or condemnation. I try my best not to be judgemental, and appreciate that same respect from others. S
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' Quoting 'GimmeFunTime' I'm not just about sex. It's being friends and having fun. - Posted from rhpmobile and aren't you worried that some woman is going to get attached to you if you are indeed friends and it isn't all about sex? That is a big hiccup in your marriage if that happens and being single, I don't want to develop feelings with a married man either. It is easier just to stay away for me. I don't know how many times now I've seen people - single and married - say that they prefer to play with attached partners because there's no risk of emotional involvement. And I wonder how they can be so naive. Of course there is risk of emotional involvement....you are dealing with human beings, not robots. Humans in general - contrary to what we generally like to think - are not very rational particularly when our emotions are involved. A ring on the finger or a FB status saying that you're in a relationship doesn't offer you magical protection from that. Couples that swing or are in open relationships need to accept that they are taking a risk of someone else becoming attached to one of them, or one of them becoming attached to someone else. Yes they can put in place 'rules' etc. that can lessen the risk, for example that it is sex only and that's it, but nevertheless some level of risk is still there. And people like the OP who say they don't just offer sex but also fun and friendship, have an increased level of risk. I find it odd that they often don't seem to realise that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
...I do recognise the risk. That's why I'm looking for married women, not because I don't think we're NOT going to like each other but more because it levels the playing field. I had a divorcee friend last summer who dumped me because I was too emotionally unavailable.I think that it is very rarely just about sex and that there's probably something wrong within a marriage when partners start looking elsewhere. I am also saying this with my eyes well and truly open...if you know who is reading this *mwah* hope to see you soonI have doubts about my marriage surviving the empty nest phase. Anyway we're all adults and assume the risk because...well no risk no fun!
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Seachange73
11 years ago
are not for me for the reasons the ladies have outlined above. I have enough difficulty aligning time with my FWBs due both our work and family commitments. Being with a married man adds another level of complexity that I can avoid when there are other alternatives. And yes, the possibility of emotional involvement may occur despite our best efforts not to and if it does, the situation can get messy. If I can keep it as simple and drama free as possible, I'll look into it. Honestly, I would not even entertain the idea as already it is fraught from the start no matter how hot he is. However, this is only MY opinion.
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' Couples that swing or are in open relationships need to accept that they are taking a risk of someone else becoming attached to one of them, or one of them becoming attached to someone else. Yes they can put in place 'rules' etc. that can lessen the risk, for example that it is sex only and that's it, but nevertheless some level of risk is still there. And people like the OP who say they don't just offer sex but also fun and friendship, have an increased level of risk. I find it odd that they often don't seem to realise that. Folks here are always talking about weighing up the risks. I'm more scared of STD's than hubby running off with Meeka... Rather than hijack this thread, I might start another...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I hear what you are saying. But what happens after you have been seeing each tier or a year, two years, three years +. Who is to say that your feelings won't develop over time? That your needs won't change ? I suppose it's a risk we all take. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
You meanie!! Lol. :P I think it would more risky when couples play as singles and develop ongoing relationships with people that can last years. But we can all love more than one person. :-)
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
That risk factor comes out for people in different ways depending on what or who they like to do. The majority of couples we've met in the scene have been together for over 8 years, their whole venture into swinging - as a couple, changing the dynamic of their relationship is based around trust, letting go over jealousy, and learning to be ok with 'letting go' over control over your partners desires. This puts most couples in a really good space to discuss what's going on for them emotionally, openly, before anything explodes - because if you're doing it right nothing is off the discussion menu. Our rules for playing with singles or couples include that they must live over an hour away. If there are any opportunities for clandestine meetings someone has to really actively seek it out. Of course there's risks involved - but for most couples who have worked out their swinging relationship - there's probably more risk of an STD than a broken relationship. I know of couples who have split up here in the scene but that happens in all relationships. And it seems they've managed to have with more dignity and respect for each-other than the vanilla now ex-couples I know. Lives are intertwined, and with the jealousy factor removed years before THROUGH swinging - swinging couples have different thresholds to what constitutes emotional betrayal. A couple has to have some rocky ground, or disconnect for someone to be able to split them apart. You'll hear most couples say swinging's strengthened their bond and their communication, and they say that because it's true.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23'I don't know how many times now I've seen people - single and married - say that they prefer to play with attached partners because there's no risk of emotional involvement. And I wonder how they can be so naive. If a woman is single (poor thing) she must be desperately looking to latch on to any decent man that crosses her path, right?
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I think it would more risky when couples play as singles and develop ongoing relationships with people that can last years. But we can all love more than one person. :-) V true - and no doubt couples who do play alone are better hardwired for polymory...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree. :)
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
Quoting 'Cuckle_shells' that just because you may fall in love with someone, be it that you are single or in a relationship, doesn't automatically mean you then want to have an exclusive relationship or that you want to run off together into the sunset. If someone is however ultimately looking for a monogamous relationship then yes they should be selective about who they choose to have a sexual relationship with. Shells. And if they are looking for monogamy please pick a different online dating playground than RHP or else someone will get hurt!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Keepitsimple I hear what you are saying. But what happens after you have been seeing each tier or a year, two years, three years +. Who is to say that your feelings won't develop over time? That your needs won't change ? I suppose it's a risk we all take. :) I have a few FWB and I'm no more or less likely to fall for my married friend than the others. If and when I decide I want to pursue a relationship I won't be dating people who are unavailable. Also I don't understand why we're so afraid of having feelings for people, I have some level of affection for all the people I call friends, those with benefits and those without. I don't think it's a problem. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't think people are afraid of emotions, they are afraid of getting hurt. I don't really know... I have been seeing a man in a similar type of situation for the past 3.5 years. He is one of my best friends I would say. This wouldn't be for everybody and in fact before meeting him I would have said it wasn't for me either. Who knew I was such a team player. LMAO!! My friends wouldn't understand it and I reckon a lot of people would think that I settling for second best but it just doesn't feel that way to me.
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him_and_me
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You have ask me on your relationship status and nowhere in your profile do you say that you are in an open relationship. I for one, and I am sure lots of other women too, would immediately assume you are married and cheating on your wife. I wouldn't bother to ask about your status... I would just say Next! Up to you of course, but if you find you are not having much luck on RHP, I would really explain in your profile that you are in an open relationship. There's a large wedding photo in the back ground of one of OPs profile shots...I don't think he's hiding being married. I don't have a problem sleeping with a married man without his wife there, as long as his other half knows and I've had that confirmed from her personally. We had a mis-communication a while ago that means I won't ever take 'his word for it' again or let things be ambiguous. Oops. If she doesn't know or isn't keen, then there's no way. I won't cheat on my husband and I won't help other's cheat on their partners. x Me
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RHP User
11 years ago
In short, yes I'd play with a married man whether he had consent or not. I'm not here to find out in the ins and outs of a guys personal life, I'm here to play........ not form a deep relationship. So long as my husband knows what I'm doing, that's all I'm interested in. Married guys who partner lets them play without them know the risks they are taking. I think it takes a pretty strong understanding partner to let their hubby's play without them. Mrs TTF
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Two_Tarts
11 years ago
We all know what we like and want as individuals, but if you are seriously part of a couple, or interacting with someone who you believe is part of a couple then your behaviour is either ethical and respectful of those relationships, or it is not. If all parties (including all partners) approve then there is no issue, that is all good, and anything goes. But if either of you has a partner that does not approve then you really are getting your fun at the expense of others and that is in our opinion unethical, uncool, and shows a lack of respect regardless of how either you or they try to justify it. We had a married guy who wanted to hook up with us (well plainly Mrs) because he was in a loveless and unsatisfying marriage. Turned out the poor dears wife only wanted to have sex with him a couple of times a week. He couldnt stay to because she would have his dinner ready soon and would worry if he was too late. FFS, how could any woman consent to have sex with such a completely gutless wanker in those circumstances regardless of whether his smile could light up New York City after dark or how seductive his messaging was. So OP, in our opinion, if your wife completely approves then you are all good so long as you are making sure that the women you try to hook up with have the same approval from their partners. Enjoy! Xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
We had some small interaction with a couple who lives out our way and the wife appeared to know that her husband was persueing me independantly, but under the guise of it still being a couples thing. But I came to wonder if she really knew just how much. It started with light couple contact, but she did not seem too interested in my husband after a short while. We were pretty open in our contact and he started messaging me quite a lot. It was very flattering and fun. He convinced me to switch to using am app called Viber for messaging and started playing all sorts of messaging games which really got my head space involved. He bought me sex toys and the messaging became increasingly explicit and started to always have a really heavy sexual content about reminiscing what he had done to me and planned for next time. In hinsight everything we did was planned to the smallest detail. It was very exciting and entoxicating! The messaging and contact became an all day and every day thing that was just too personal to ignore. I would catch the train to work and on the days he told me he worked from his city office he would ask me to catch the train he was on so the contact became more regular and personal. Because he didn't seem to have a very demanding job he started wanting to have coffee when he was travelling between clients and the flirting and sexual referencing increased. Then he started working on inviting himself around if I was home and he had nothing on. I was completely sold and in a very short time he managed to move himself right into my everyday. To my now great embarrassment I was actually loving this startling amount of attention and was losing interest in bothering with anyone else in the swinging world. He had done a lot of subtle work to devalue in my mind all other men. While this went on my husband, despite not being the jealous type, had started to express concerns about just where this was going and why I was going along with this, but this other married guy kept subtly reinforcing how good we were together regardless of whether his wife and my husband were equally involved and that any concerns they had was just them being a little insecure. The more my husband expressed concern and talked to me the more this guy worked my head to make it that my husband was just insecure, making me unhappy, and trying to take this away from us. Now I am an idiot! When I finally paid attention I came to appreciate just how much I had been manipulated and I was horrified to realise how involved I had become, but it didn't stop there and no matter what I did he kept trying to reel me back in and would tell me whatever he thought I wanted to hear with constant reminders of how much I had enjoyed the sex. Once I got my head space a little clear it became increasingly obvious that most of the other women this couple were friends with were also now showing up on Viber. I told him that I had stopped catching the train and I started keeping my head down so as to not be rcognised if he did. That was a pain so I caught an earlier train and straight away realised that on different days of the week this same guy would be keeping other RHP wives company in the same extremely familiar way. After a while it has become extremely obvious that this guy is doing exactly the same very manipulative stuff with a whole bunch of women. Now I am really glad that I got my head clear of this, even if it took me way too long to realise just how I was getting played and manipulated. It is a real worry that we let someone who is so manipulative into our lives and I really would have thought I was too clever to be sucked in with such apparent ease. So this was a married guy who presented as having his wifes permission in how he interacted independantly with me, but I wonder if his wife actually knows just what he was up to, to what extent, and with how many women. Maybe she just didn't care and was happy that he was entertaining himself elsewhere. We all love a bit of flirting, but this guy is playing the girls the most manipulative and dishonest way I have ever seen and he is plainly very practiced at it. God knows how his job can be so slack that he has the time.lol.. Now I am not for a moment suggesting this is what the OP is like, but I have learnt a lesson at my own expense and won't be doing anything with guys unless their wife is actually by their side for the whole of the journey.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Its interesting to see the views on this. I can fully understand why women are suspicious and it seems many married men have ruined it for genuine others.On the other hand I feel some people would be rather naive not to recognise cheaters on here. We regularly get asked by guys who have some excuse why they cant involve their wife or are cagey about how they are contacted and we ignore them always. I also understand that many women are looking for a bit more than a guy turning up for an hour and that's fair enough too.I have permission to play but never have due to the above reasons I think. Im lucky that my partner is willing to speak to women but just doesn't want to be present. (MMF is her thing). I suppose there are people fo everyone. I am happy to turn up do the biz whether that be with a female or couple have a laugh for an couple of hours and head off. I have a loving wife for cuddling and going out with so have no need for more. Maybe this combined with all the above problems is what makes it all so difficult.
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RHP User
11 years ago
My answer is yes. I would. It opens up more opportunities for everyone involved. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
hi there just here saying helllo to you
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