M47
Married life or Fwb relationship
April 19 2019
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
You can still be an individual in a marriage. It would be pretty awful i(and boring) if you couldn't. Pusscat xxx
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Libertine001
7 years ago
I should say in the context of living together and not having your individual life whereas a Fwb relationship allows your freedom of your own life.
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MissRedFox
7 years ago
I have been in a long term marriage had kids and now view relationahips with more flexibility than the white picket fence. My first preference would have been married for life and I left because I wasnt getting what I needed in many aspects So for me it wasn't a matter of seeking freedom however now that I live on my own I'm not looking to cohabit in the near future However having a connection where you have your own space but are there for each other - perfect
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RHP User
7 years ago
Relationships in my view should be an extension of ones own existing life... So I’m confused as to why one would feel like they’ve lost their individuality as a consequence of being in a relationship/marriage
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Libertine001
7 years ago
IMO being in a marraige is a compromise of one's individual life wether its living together, decision making or even parenting and you do lose your individuality to a point just to make things work smoothly. In this age marraige is not as highly reguarded as say 40yrs ago which you just have to look at the divorce rates to see that. And dont get me wrong a lot of people love the companionship and togetherness marraige brings. I am just after opinions on one's preference to either or.
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
You can have it in a marriage, with lovers and when single. I know as I have had it in a marriage, with lovers and single. It brings out the best in me. Is there anything you miss about being married? Yer, I'm missing my marriage certificate. If anyone finds it please return. 😊 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
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RHP User
7 years ago
Now we are free to explore sexual fantasies and desires
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
I wouldn't trade my life, my marriage, my family for anything in the world. Neither would my hubby.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I miss so much about being married, there were many good aspects to it. I miss the security more than anything, physically, emotionally & financially marriage has the ability to make all that easier because you’re part of a team. It can also ruin you in every way though, that’s a pretty big risk factor, haha. Friends with benefits offers no security but also greatly reduces the chances of things turning bad and allows you the freedom to do whatever you want, which can also be awesome. In conclusion, I personally probably won’t marry again but I do prefer a relationship that mimics marriage more so than friends with benefits. Fuck the risk factor!
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teamaj2
7 years ago
Marriage versus FWB That’s dependent on the person you are with . After being married previously, I’m with my partner in crime , best friend and love of my life . Our relationship allows us both to be who we want to be without reproach , explore and enjoy all that life has to offer . For me I’d say marriage ( or committed relationship) . It goes without saying but only with the right person . In my opinion the ‘right person ‘ has made me the best person I can be. It has allowed me the freedom to explore and have wonderful adventures that before only lived in my imagination.
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nightingale8
7 years ago
Absolutely miss the freedom now and even when I had both. I enjoy being a selfish arsehole (I speak for myself) but my partner doesn't enjoy that quality in me so discussion, negotiation and compromise is the next best thing. Every date out solo was a request for permission to play with rules applied, a cap on the distance I could travel, and a curfew for when I had to be home. Fast forward to the present, our relationship is currently open for him and not for me to see people separately (we still swing together), this being something we've chosen for good reasons.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Marriage versus FWB Well after being married and sacrificing so much to make it work I’ve realized that FWB is a better option, but not the only option. In saying that finding a person that shares my want to explore sexuality and not base love on sex is the main sticking point. I know if I found a person that was honest, trusting and open minded, excepting my desires as mine and not a reflection of them. I would possibly get married again. I guess finding the right person that ‘fits’ is the main key to this question. Being married nowadays means you can borrow more money from the banks and buy bigger things. It’s called marriage 2.0, marriage is just a binding financial agreement between 2 people. Freedom to be an individual human being regardless of the circumstances is the one value that should never be sacrificed.
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usrightnow_Again
7 years ago
You're right OP, marriage does tend to come and exist with at least some compromise. It's not for everyone and every marriage is different. When children are also involved, perhaps the compromise is even greater. It's a price you pay. I'm not sure there is necessarily any reduction in individuality. A healthy marriage should allow for individuals to exist, just sometimes there are compromises. I'm not sure an FWB relationship would necessarily work for us in the future, although it did in the past. We both like some connection with those who join is, more so now we consider ourselves poly. Everyone has to find their own fit. Not everyone will get it right first time, not everyone will be happy for the compromises in Any relationship. .. Mr. urn. .
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RHP User
7 years ago
I was first married when I was eighteen,it was 1967.he was my first boyfriend and we lived together for a year before we married.It lasted for five years but I was terribly bored and found someone else. We were married for nine years,and it just came to an unexciting end By this time I was still in my early thirties an always thought I would marry again.I didn't. I now know that being single has enabled me to live my life on my own terms.It has been a rich and interesting life,I have been extremely lucky but I am also an unashamed opportunist. I have had a number of short term relationships but have never found anyone I wanted to spend any significant time with. I believe that coupledom is not for me.I do have lots of love in my life but just not romantic love. Hugs Q
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RHP User
7 years ago
We both would never get married again!
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EarthQueen
7 years ago
Never say never but can't really see myself getting married again. I had some years of happy marriage and some years of hard slog.From my observations this seems pretty normal. I miss the connection with my ex when things were going well. The shared time and experiences together. The feeling of knowing someone so well. The regular physical touch I miss immensely. The sexual energy with someone you feel very comfortable with. There are lots of good things to remember. I don't miss the compromising. I like my own space, the ability to always make my own choices without having to check in. The dance of thinking whatever I do will affect another and juggling his emotions and his needs was draining. Sounds harsh but unless you are both on the same page as open communicators in my experience, and observing my friends in long marriages, there often seems to be an undercurrent of resentment. I really like my freedom and every time I start getting into a relationship this is the thing that stops me going further. There is a lot of expectation that I should change to fit. Something inside of me really rejects that now. So unless I change my way of thinking or I find someone on the same page I think it will be hard for me to commit again. At this point in my life I really want to give people the space and freedom to be who they are without my dictating how they should live. I want that back, but its quite difficult to find and I really need a true emotional connection with someone who gives that to me. This sounds kind of hypocritical reading back what I've written above but it all makes sense in my head. FWB is OK but often it revolves around sex. If I'm having sex with someone I need them to be interested in me as a person not just as a sexual object. I have an expectation that some of our times would revolve around hanging out and enjoying each others company, not only sex. Again not easy to find. It's kind of superficial and I like to delve deep into people who I am with. A lot of people don't want that as a FWB. Some of the most open people I talk to, who are very honest are in poly relationships. Maybe thats my future? IDK Interesting answers good topic OP.
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BlueDMB
7 years ago
It’s possible to have both at the same time and still be honest and respectful to all involved,
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Libertine001
7 years ago
Thanks for all those who commented and those differing opinions which shows the diverse community we live in. TDH
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