M68
Manners - Where have they gone?
October 18 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes. Some of the reasons why should give you a good laugh... Peachy
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have never read my flirts and I don't really go into that screen to even look. Even an old duck like me has rec'd thousands of flirts. I could set it up so that it automatically replies... But what would be the point? I did always reply to emails, well 99 % of them.... Although often it would be a month after I received them though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
to reply to all my "messages" and most of my "flirts". Why I say "most" for "flirts" is because I usually don't bother replying to "flirts" sent to me by a "Guest" male RHP Member. There's no point because I'm a "Guest" too and I specifically make a mention about "Guest" to "Guest" flirting on my Profile. If I am sent a "flirt" by a paying RHP Member, then I will either "flirt" or "message" him/her or them back if I can. In answer to your question, "manners", not just here on RHP but everywhere, are dying out. So coming across people who do still possess them, is quite refreshing and appreciated :).
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RHP User
11 years ago
I reply to every single message I get, always. Flirts I don't reply to
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RHP User
11 years ago
I used to have a profile with the Mr and one of the problems we came across when we''d reply to flirts was that we'd still get a message from someone we'd said no too, which we'd then feel we had to reply to, to exlain lol. . I've only ever been here for the forums on this profile and one problem I've experienced since then is that I get lots of flirts from the same people through the 'Hot or What?' feature on the amateur pics page. I gave up answering flirts after a message from one who thought I was bring a smart arse when I sent out a group reply and he got two lol. . Now my profile says I am only here for the forums... and not to waste messages on me. . So I suppose, considering the number of messages I still get, turning the manners quesion on it's head, I'm thinking there's a lot of people who don't have the manners to make sure they fit what the person they're contacting is actually looking for. Peachy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
That automatic flirt feature has never worked for me anyway. Although I been signed out for the 8 hours I was told I had to be signed out for after a flirt is received, for it to send out a reply.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What manners, there are no manners anymore my mother wiuld be turning over in her grave with discussed....such a lady....shame Shame shame....knots
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RHP User
11 years ago
to all messages but now I do not if the messager is outside my age range and if there is no picture... And especially if it is just a 'Hey sexy'. Flirts I rarely respond to, once again, esp. If they say what do you think of me and there is no pic. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
to me that is more rude!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Tough love time. No reply IS A REPLY.... To demand one with your "please reply" comment will read as needy and weak behaviour. If your profile and message don't COMPEL someone to reply, and that seems to be the case for most guys from what I've observed... then that tells the story of where the problem is. Something you need to be aware of is that when a woman declines a mans message, her decision is often then is questioned with demands to know why, and a stream of a use or dented ego stupidity. So it's easier to not reply at all. If you want a reply, be the kind of person she simply MUST reply to and accept that just as in real life not everyone will be that into you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just wondering, if you are extending the people you're messaging the same courtesy, that you are expecting. Do you match the characteristics, they have in place, and have you read their profile to make sure you're what they are searching for and sent a message that is personalised and not a standard copy and paste type message. In messages inbox there is a matching and non-matching folder, and perhaps many people do a mass delete of all messages in that folder.
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RHP User
11 years ago
and as harsh as this is,withoutaclue as a choice of profile while it may be an attempt at self deprecating humour OP,it kinda suggests that you are without a clue...Most women are looking for men who have at least a few clues xxQ
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On_Safari
11 years ago
It's personal choice whether to respond to some idiot who thinks the site is full of free hookers and people who are going to drag them off to an orgy 😳 Personally I'm with Cinnamonsilk, I reply to all my messahes out of courtesy (that's not auto-reply either) if it's someone who's contacted me a number of times who's already been dismissed then I give a gentle reminder they've contacted me previously and the interest is still zero, good luck on your safari. Flirts I glance at, view the profile and move along if there's nothing there that strikes a chord. And yes NO REPLY IS STILL A REPLY don't take it personal, some people just aren't going to be into you. Suck it up Princess's (boys and girls) and move and grow from it. It's all character building.
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6exxy
11 years ago
So if you are expecting real world responses, manners, charm, respect..... reassess this place. Manners are like an optional extra here it does not come standard lmao ha ha ha
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree, manners would be lovely if they were second nature to everybody. Unfortunately that is not the case. I reply to all flirts and messages, but as I don't get that many it's not as time consuming as it would be for most of the ladies on here. Easy to say, but try not to let it bother you. Chin up!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi "Withoutaclue", Thank you for sharing a great post. I have a few thoughts regarding your questions. Firstly, if you are seeking females on here - I wouldn't waste my time with "flirts".....women on here are already too busy responding to their high influx of messages. If you are already not receiving responses through genuine/personal messages, what is the likelihood of receiving a response to a "flirt"? Women like men that are original and put in effort - they don't want to feel like "just another girl who receives a flirt" You are definitely right that "old fashioned manners" have disappeared - but I think it's much broader than RHP. We just live in a "time poor" society and I genuinely believe that both men and women that don't choose to reply don't even do it out of "bad manners".... It does suck sometimes when you can't seem to understand "why" you don't get a response...but don't sweat it - you have to adopt the mentality that "if you are not worth receiving a reply" than they are not worth your time "thinking about"....plus, it makes you appreciate the ones that do reply :).
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't return messages to flaccid and boring uninspiring messages. If you say, "Hey hun your hot, wanna chat" The answer seems obvious to me......
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'YoungAndMarried' I don't return messages to flaccid and boring uninspiring messages. If you say, "Hey hun your hot, wanna chat" The answer seems obvious to me...... what about guys who know their "yore" from their "your" and "you're"?
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RHP User
11 years ago
The feelings of deflation affect everyone buddy... But some of us can see a no reply and just think "meh" and move on... :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
get lots of messages and flirts but I know from experience..men I know who have told me.. Some guys just send off lots of flirts And messages and don't read profiles or care much.. They're just after a 'hit'. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' Quoting 'YoungAndMarried' I don't return messages to flaccid and boring uninspiring messages. If you say, "Hey hun your hot, wanna chat" The answer seems obvious to me...... what about guys who know their "yore" from their "your" and "you're"? Case and point! Way too many smart asses on here!
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RHP User
11 years ago
For example..... (warning.... fun ahead, because some seem to lack humour in here!) " I just wanted to say I loved your profile"Yeah.... and?! " I noticed you noticed me, and not ive noticed you too"So... stop looking and start doing something! "Loved your profile. Want to meet and see where it goes?"What?.... you mean.... no email, no phone conversation.... just a blind meet of a total stranger? Sure... because I cant possibly see any negatives in that! "Youre at the top of my to do list"Really.... with how many others?! So, its not so much a top, as a plateau. Pretty much every one of the "sexy" flirt options. And the most obvious hint of them all.... "If I send you a message would you reply?"Obviously, if someone doesnt reply to the flirt.... theres no point sending a message... is there!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I had 100s of messages and flirts in the first few days. I'm not exaggerating. I made the decision then that I wasn't going to be able to deal with the flirts. As far as messages are concerned, I did try to respond to all of them, but sometimes the 'thanks but no thanks' was questioned repeatedly. Sometimes you could tell people hadn't bothered to check their contact history as I would receive another contact a week later with the same template message I'd said no to the week before. That's when I discovered the block function. Over time I also got tired of answering 'hi, how are you?' 'Hi, how's your weekend going?' 'Hi, what you doing?' I considered creating a template myself saying 'well thanks, great, losing the will to live' to answer all three questions at once. I will always take the time to answer a message where the person has demonstrated they've read my profile and have something interesting to say. I won't answer template emails and I won't answer people who are clearly outside of what I have stated I'm looking for. Is that bad manners? Perhaps, but why should I be polite to someone who is ignoring what I've said I'm looking for?
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RHP User
11 years ago
This is a message I received today from a man, which my profile states I'm not looking for who is also too young for my age range. "I'm going to keep this simple, I want to please you more than you ever have been before! I'm going to start softly kissing your neck and gently rubbing your clit to get you all wet, then I'm going down on you licking your clit and fingering your wet pussy till I make you cum all over me... Again and again" Is it bad manners to ignore that? I don't think so, if a guy came up to me at a bar and said something like that to me, I'd probably slap him, so I sure as hell am not going to use my 'manners' and send a reply. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
So you're saying you've never sent any of these flirts? Liar.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'YandM' I don't return messages to flaccid and boring uninspiring messages. If you say, "Hey hun your hot, wanna chat" The answer seems obvious to me...... I disagree, some people have trouble putting things into words so i feel that everyone deserves a thanks but no thanks at the very least irrespective of what you think of them from their short msg. I always get thanked for taking the time, but that may just be me.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' So you're saying you've never sent any of these flirts? Liar. In days past, I may have sent the "loved your profile" flirt tomsomeone new.... never expecting a reply as it was simply a comment that I thought their profile was.... good. Then I learned more about the mail people receive, and the profiles they receive them from. If you want to connect with someone.... a flirt is too vague and impersonal where a message can cut through the white noise and flood of shit filling inboxes.
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RHP User
11 years ago
NOT the one I meant.
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RHP User
11 years ago
because tv bombards us over and over the the same deadhead adds year after year, and always at a higher volume!! (thankfully there is a mute and channel hopping function on remotes ) So people are subliminally preconditioned in an impersonal, repetitive, clinical way to 'persist until satisfied'. On the other hand it conditions us to ignore anything we don't like with the flick of a button. As the supporters of trash tv programs will tell you, you have the freedom to turn it off or watch something else. I see both of these playing out in RHP. It must be tedious to deal with hundreds of emails/flirts (ladies) equally disappointing to be ignored and feel 'unloved' (men), but one thing is sure, dickheads and hard arse bitches existed before technology. Good manners hark back to an era where it was considered an essential part of genuinely good character, rarely valued today in a self centered culture of get what you can so you can beat the other bugger. It seems the laments here are a realisation later in life, after a bit of suffering, and a few setbacks, life is not perfect, but you can be in control of who you are, who you want to be. Rude people may not notice your good manners, but a person of good character is no walkover either. So I am for a courteous reply, but I do realise that it is impractical for some who are weary of the flood that technology provides here.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If someone in my age bracket messages me and the message is polite I will always send a message saying thank you, to me it is just good manners, but my profile is pretty straight up about what I'm looking for so if your profile doesn't match then I'm sorry but no response . Cherish
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RHP User
11 years ago
It certainly doesn't take much effort or consideration to be polite... But then again some people can't be bother with effort and consideration towards others. Where have the old days gone !!!..
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'YandM' Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' Quoting 'YoungAndMarried' I don't return messages to flaccid and boring uninspiring messages. If you say, "Hey hun your hot, wanna chat" The answer seems obvious to me...... what about guys who know their "yore" from their "your" and "you're"? Case and point! Way too many smart asses on here! You mean 'Case in point'? Lol. Just kidding. yes, got my smart arse hat today.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What are your expectations? Obviously, you want to establish contact based on what you might read in a particular profile, but is that the only reason?I send messages for a number of reasons - whether or not I get a response is generally immaterial. Some are based purely on the profile - if it's well written, I'll let the writer know, unless I fall into one of the "don't contact me" criteria. Others are based on what I see in the forums - if I like a particular post, or can relate to it, I'll let the writer know. Replying is optional, but generally I'll get something back.As for flirts - I keep them for people I already know, just for a bit of a stir. That's really about all they're good for. If you send messages without expecting replies, you'll be pleasantly surprised when you do get one, rather than disappointed when you don't.
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