Male vulnerability

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Would prefer an upfront confession about where you are emotionally. It is all very fine and dandy to "jump straight back onto the horse" so to speak, but we all know that a break up takes a while to heal. We all need sex but many are not open to listening to you talk endlessly about your wife, how great / bad she is in the bedroom department, how she done you wrong. When we go out to play most of us want the experience to be about "Me...Me...Me..." I always ask how long a man has been on his own. It is actually one of the first things I ask. I do not in anyway wish to be a wife substitute...good or bad and if you have only just separated, all you want is sex and a shoulder to cry on. I can then make up my own mind as to wether I want to be that shoulder.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  The idea here is to get yourself back to a place where that raw emotion doesn't stop you from interacting in a socially comfortable manner; dragging it up and waving it about to every potential new partner isn't going to get you there. Try to find a balance somewhere in the middle. Being able to get across the point that you need someone to be a bit gentle with you because you're just starting out again is one thing but confessing all inevitably ends up with you spilling too many details and gets you thinking about all the hurt rather than putting that stuff aside for a bit and just enjoying meeting someone new.xx Sarah

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I would prefer upfront honesty..I just want to know that you are well and truly over the ex and have a forward plan in life..The minute a guy talks about the ex...you know how fresh the ex is..Newsflash "not interested" in hearing about the ex. Move on from the ex and and talk about certain/interesting topics. We soon see right through the false bravado.. Just be yourself although whole. By all means be emotional about your wellbeing. It's not a confession of where we are emotionally...just information. xxx

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I would prefer upfront honesty..I just want to know that you are well and truly over the ex and have a forward plan in life..The minute a guy talks about the ex...you know how fresh the ex is..Newsflash "not interested" in hearing about the ex. Move on from the ex and and talk about certain/interesting topics. We soon see right through the false bravado..and it's boring. Just be yourself although whole. By all means be emotional about your wellbeing. It's not a confession of where we are emotionally...just information. xxx

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  It is good to be upfront but you don't want to be a sook. I know I would prefer a guy to be upfront about what he wants from me but he does not have to tell me why. We all have our baggage and most of us can understand where you are coming from, as previously said it is up to us if we want to be a shoulder to cry on and are happy with what you are prepared to offer at that point. Just relax and have some fun and treat people the way you would like to be treated is the best advice I could give anybody

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  i know where your coming from buddy and your not alone if its stilll raw take time out and as the lady says take a bit of me time false bravado only gets you so far be yourself warts and all but if you idolise/character assissinate your ex not a good trait for anybody to listen to the fun times will return given time so just sit back and watch till your ready majority of people on here are on for fun times so enjoy

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  The way THEY like to be treated.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I don't think you should ever pretend to be something you're not. Scratch beneath the surface and everyone has fears, doubts and is feeling their way through life the best way they know how. Ultimately you are looking for someone who is on the same pages as you, whatever that page happens to be right now, and that's going to be a lot easier to ascertain if you are honest about where you are at.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  will definitely win out over upfront confessions ..approach people the way you would like to be approached if the show was on the other foot .. some talk about the ex would be suitable but you have to chose the right time and receptive person .. but the idea is .. to move forward .. not dwell in the past .. have fun .. enjoy the new time .. things will get better ..

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  In a man is lovely, please after a few dates do share. I think you can't scare the girl by spilling your whole romantic life plus break up on the first date but by all means, just be yourself.   One thing to avoid though, unless you are very good friends with the woman you're dating or intend to date, be wary of trashing the ex. Bad form peter pan.   Even if she was a complete bitch on wheels.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  that's meant to be CAN not can't :)

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Most men have been there. A smart arse would say harden the fuck up, but having been there that isnt the way it is. I reckon you have to be real. Don't pretend either way. If you pour it out and the date disses you then you are betting off finding out there and then that she's as big a cow as the ex. If you want to put up a shield then do that. If you want / need a shoulder then do that. Pretending either way wont work - it all comes out in the end. Then again, don't overdo it either way - strike a balance. You are a strong man to have even asked this question. that alone should get you laid!

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  than male or female vulnerability - when you can truly trust someone and open up, and be honest. I think we all worry too much about what others think, so we stop being ourselves.   westcoast, in the short time I have known you, you have been a breath of fresh air to this site! x I rarely say that about Eagles supporters :)

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