Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Where do you think I get all my advice on men from? I also bonk my best mate too. Sometimes. ;)
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RHP User
13 years ago
I recently had this conversation with a Friend of mine (female). There lies a huge problem in this, the woman's boyfriend, husband or potential. Very few men are secure enough in themselves to allow another man to be so close to "his woman". Especially if the particular man is an x or a former FWB. Actually this topic quite upset me knowing that my friend would possibly sacrifice our relationship if she finds a guy that makes her choose him or me.... Personally, as a guy, I know that having a real close female friend that you can talk to about anything, whine or moan about your partner to etc.... to be quite useful, it helps get a woman's point of view into the situation and has helped keep me leek a few times over the years... Now try to find a best friend of the opposite sex that doesn't have some sort of ulterior motive
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RHP User
13 years ago
I dont bonk mine though, just his wife:) A male best friend that truly cares for you is a wonderful gift. Ms fun
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RHP User
13 years ago
Absolutely! I guess it comes down to whether you think guys and girls can be friends.I always found it weird when people say they can't, and it's a really odd dynamic when guys don't have female friends (more often than not they're the players.)Speaking from experience, I had a female best friend for a few years. We were very much in synch, and though our particular dynamic had the faintest undertone of sexual tension, it was never really an issue. Unfortunately one night under the influence of several substances it got a bit carried away and things were never quite the same, but I wouldn't trade our friendship then for the world (and we've still got a natural ease to this day, though we're not as close.) There are a few extra issues to negotiate, particularly when one or both gets in a relationship, but when you think about it best friend dynamics change when somebody enters a relationship, regardless of the gender.I think that while there may be a few extra complications, it's a really special and wonderful experience to have a best friend of the opposite gender.
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RHP User
13 years ago
... having a male best friend. Sadly I have lost all mine to marriage (them getting married that is). Each time the new wife has ended our friendship - understandable but sad nonetheless :-( I've always had great male friends (since I was 4) so really missing that at the moment :-( KK xx
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Meeka - love it
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RHP User
13 years ago
Totally agree with Neptune The sexual tension is always there because often or not one party of the twosome truly wants to bonk the other party..they cant help it, ....its human nature !!! I've had quite a few male friends ( and close male colleagues) during my years of breathing - gorgeous lovely beautiful men....but ended up doing the mambo with them (usually alcohol induced - or even worse me crying over my latest heartbreak with another and their version of comfort and me agreeing to be comforted !!! ) and bang (literally) friendship gone and replaced by a relationship that hasnt worked out or we have found out that even though we were great as friends we werent great at being lovers....and eveything is then ruined.....never again You can get sex anywhere (if you really want it) but true friendships are rare aind in my opinion, way too valuable to lose My bestie is bi...we have often joked about why we have never had sex with each other (and funningly enough we meet at a swingers party ) but I adore her so much, that I don't want to ruin our friendship at all....could it enhance our friendship, the sexual element ? - perhaps it could ..but I love her and enduring freindship way too much to put a few hours of physical pleasure before what we have...Id take a bullet for her and I know she feels the same What makes me sad , is previous lovers who know the ins and outs of my life....the good, the bad and the ugly and have often endured many issues with me, held my hand and stood by my side thru so many of lifes crisis... ....are the ones I cant stay friends with....usually due to their new partners...I totally understand that and also agree with it..I do...................but sad when one can no longer even send a sms saying Happy New Year or Happy birthday or a simple "So how are you ?"..... too too sad...:(
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RHP User
13 years ago
When I was 17 til I was about 22 were both girls, we did almost everything together. I was a little in love with one of them and told her about it when I was 25 after moving back to perth. She told me she knew all along and felt the same way but by then it was too late, she was with someone. Then when that had gone sour she got in contact with me but by then I was with my ex and expecting a child. Some things just aren't meant to be I guess. My ex was my best friend for the 10 years we were together and in some ways still is even though we have major issues to sort out, I can still tell her things I have never told anyone else and likewise for her. I think either way every male and female needs a friend of the opposite sex to confide in, to give a different perspective to things.
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RHP User
13 years ago
My best friend is a lady...known her for over 20 years. I'm also good mates with her other half.
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RHP User
13 years ago
women cant handle having a guy as a best mate...they always ruin it by wanting more and more............or wanting him to do less and less without her......
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ok, I sent him away, lol. My best friend is my Husband. I've never had a man who understood me as well, who cared for me as much, or who loved me as deeply. Michelle.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' women cant handle having a guy as a best mate...they always ruin it by wanting more and more............or wanting him to do less and less without her...... I refer you to my previous post. No muss, no fuss, no confusion, no sexual tension. Exception to your "rule", methinks.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Manly_McHardon' Quoting 'mikeandshel' women cant handle having a guy as a best mate...they always ruin it by wanting more and more............or wanting him to do less and less without her...... I refer you to my previous post. No muss, no fuss, no confusion, no sexual tension. Exception to your "rule", methinks. I'd be thinking her Husband would be her 'best mate', mine is, even though I too have male friends I have known for 20 plus years. Shel.
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RHP User
13 years ago
YES. Girls can be so gossipy and giggly so much of the time that I actually feel like I've lost some brain cells after spending too much time in the company with my girlfriends - I start saying 'like' and 'oh my GOD, you guys' more than I should...I have a male friend where although there was an undercurrent of sexual tension at first five years ago, the friendship progressed so quickly that it got to a stage where it would have just been plain strange had we dated due to all of the things we knew about each other. Then he went overseas for half a year and bam! We both turned bisexual in the same time. Love it! Now we hang out at bars together and check out the boys and the girls together. Good times.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was having a conversation similar to this just earlier this evening. I met a lady when I was 19-20 whilst working as a crowd controller. We had a professional workplace relationship, then I got married. Then I separated and our paths crossed again. This time however it was a little more personal. The very odd shag, but mostly we simply just shared the bed together when I would be early to have the kids. She's met someone she wished to persue, and so sharing the bed we agreed even as friends wasn't appropriate. I had the privilidge of hearing her shag her new fella whilst I watched the tv. Have we changed?? Nope not at all....has our friendship changed??? Nope, I'm still in contact just as much now as we were(about twice a week). Has our direction in life changed??? Absolutely. I see very good things going on in her life with her new man, and yes I've met him....I see very good things going on in my life as well...I'm getting myself a place to call home etc to share with the kids....but I digress....the thing is everyone needs a friend to turn to....everyone needs that one person or many to just "be"..... Who says it has to be limited to the same gender??? Just my thoughts...
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RHP User
13 years ago
My 2 closest friends are women, I've known them for far too long to ever considering sleeping with either. I've never had an issue with my long term partners getting jealous. both my long term partners knew the 2 women and knew that there would never be an issue.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'Manly_McHardon' Quoting 'mikeandshel' women cant handle having a guy as a best mate...they always ruin it by wanting more and more............or wanting him to do less and less without her...... I refer you to my previous post. No muss, no fuss, no confusion, no sexual tension. Exception to your "rule", methinks. I'd be thinking her Husband would be her 'best mate', mine is, even though I too have male friends I have known for 20 plus years. Shel. Sure as I need to be.
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RHP User
13 years ago
but a very dear and close friend for over ten years.He lives in NSW I live in Queensland but we talk on the phone at least tewice a week.His partner does get jealous even though they are both gay.It's not the sexual aspect of relationships that is necessarily the problem ,it's the close emotional bonds that can be threatening for anyone who is not secure in themselves,otherwise it simply wouldn't matter.
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RHP User
13 years ago
But I'd like one!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I would also like him to be gayApplications are currently open
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RHP User
13 years ago
women had dozens of "just good friends" !
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RHP User
13 years ago
I firmly believe that we can all have a best friend of the oposite sex. But there is the deliema of some men who cant deal with their female partner being such close friends with another guy. And well from personal experiance I have been bullied by other girls/women because of my friendships with guys (because of that ugly green eyed monster known as jealousy). Over the years I have come to the point where I tell my significant other if he cant deal with my friendships with other guys he is free to leave. And my male friends have mostly told their significant other the same thing. I don't see the point in throwing away a perfectly good friendship that has lasted for years for a new relationship. It's not right. And any person your entering into a new relationship with needs to accept you for who you are (warts and all - friends and all)
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RHP User
13 years ago
and let me tell you, its amazing. we are both single parents and it we dont have our kids on the same weekendswhich invariably means she runs the gauntlet of being taken out by my friends and i. funnily enough i met her on rhp through the forums initially. i am her go to security when she is one first time dates and i of an occasion have smsed her an address or two of women's places that i would be attending on (the whole rockefeller thiing). we have eachother backs yet derive great pleasure in ripping shreds off oneanother. and, no, we have never nor will we ever shag.
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
C_mitchell I agree with you Cool ass donkey - love it!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
My best mate is a guy i had a miniture crush on in year 7 for about 2 weeks. But i was the fat, glasses wearing nerd and he was the popular guy. About a month later i found him crying one day and we chatted for about 20 minutes. From the end of that twenty minutes to today, 10 years later, he has been my best friend. I love him from the bottom of my heart and we have slept around over the years however it's never been a romantic thing, more sort of... Well why not?We have seen each other through relationships, and yes his partners have been jealous of me to begin with, but not from fear that we would screw around but of the bond we share. I honestly couldn't imagine my life without him in it and i think it's total BS that members of the opposite sex can't be mates.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have several male besties... when I wanna go to the pub and perve on the skimpies they are there with me
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RHP User
13 years ago
Who I run all my dramas by. And she get's me to ver all the new blokes ~laughs~Men should have a best woman friend too I think.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I've always gotten along well with males....better than with females a lot of the time. I just find men so much more straightforward and easy to talk to, and not as 'high maintenance' as a lot of females. I have quite a lot of good male friends, some single, some not. Yes I am very aware that some of them have had / do have ulterior motives and would like things to go further than just friendship but I try and be very careful that doesn't happen because it almost always changes things. And although it's true that most females don't like their partners to be good friends with other girls, there are some exceptions. I have stayed in a hotel room with one of my male friends who is married, she knew about it and nothing at all happened (easy for me because I was never attracted to him sexually, but even if I was his being married would make it a no go area for me). He is one of those guys who has always had a lot of female friends and she seems to accept this and trust him. I know this is an exception though....most females would never be comfortable with their man staying in a hotel room with another girl.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Or when I did i regret it until now... He went after an x girlfriend of mine while I was with her.....My 2 besties are sisters and I know them for 20 years almost.... There is no week with out not talking to them several times..... Music, fashion, coffee places, and many many more are our links together....Thank god for having them :)
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
I think all men should have a female best friend too!
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RHP User
13 years ago
A definite must to have someone of the opposite sex as a best friend or close friend..... I had one from when I was about 18 through to our mid 20's, we talked about everything went to the movies and when it came to men, I could talk to him without feeling uncomfortable and he had no issue in telling me the truth about decisions I had made. We are still good mates but we couldnt hang out as much as he met someone and then they got married blah blah blah. But we still have a 3 hour phone convo everynow and then to touch base and just talk about whatever. Last year I met another guy and I feel the I have the same thing again, I can talk about anything and everything without feeling uncomfortable or worry about being judged and I hope its the likewise with him, well I think it is lol. For me it has turned into a friendship that is invaluable. I think its very rare that you can find a person of the opposite sex that you can "click" with like this and have no jealousy factor.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have a couple of good male friends...but for most it has had underlying sexual tones....99% of the time not by meIs ok if you can be open and honest
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' women cant handle having a guy as a best mate...they always ruin it by wanting more and more............or wanting him to do less and less without her...... PFFFFFFFFFFFT That's such total BULLSH*T!!!! Women can have best mates...We ruin it by wanting more?? oh come on - stop being and ostrich and get your head out the bloody sand!!
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
If you fight like a married couple, talk like best friends, flirt like first love, protect each other like siblings - it is meant to be....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Cassy_74' A definite must to have someone of the opposite sex as a best friend or close friend..... I had one from when I was about 18 through to our mid 20's, we talked about everything went to the movies and when it came to men, I could talk to him without feeling uncomfortable and he had no issue in telling me the truth about decisions I had made. We are still good mates but we couldnt hang out as much as he met someone and then they got married blah blah blah. But we still have a 3 hour phone convo everynow and then to touch base and just talk about whatever. Last year I met another guy and I feel the I have the same thing again, I can talk about anything and everything without feeling uncomfortable or worry about being judged and I hope its the likewise with him, well I think it is lol. For me it has turned into a friendship that is invaluable. I think its very rare that you can find a person of the opposite sex that you can "click" with like this and have no jealousy factor.
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