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RHP

RHP User

M36

Male: Top Ten Commandments for writing a profile

June 11 2015

10 commandments

I read some post on how a guy should make their profile. It was written by a woman - which is like a guy writing an article on tampons. I have gathered data and personal expirances to write the true guyd on how to make it rain pussy on RHP. 1. Use a sexy username that is going to make her gush lyke niagra falls at first glance Its pretty fkin easy pickin a good name. You want to tell her xctly what she is getting herself into. Things like Sexycock, Tasteyounow, hornyguy, NSAguy are going to send a much better message then something like "Josh". Think about it. A lot of the names with 'sex','cock','cum','pussy' are already taken by the guys who figured it out before you - and are probably out now smashing tonnes of puss. Be a little bit more inventive it will help give you an artistic persona. If '69' is taken try putting the year you were born at the end of your new username. You might need to swap a few letters around. I like to switch s's with z's. Itz edgy whilst maintaining a level of class. 2. Cock Pic, Cock Pic, Cock Pic Before you go upload a pic of yafugly mug look at fact and science. Girls love cock and girls think about cock all the time. Dark and moody lighting is always a safe bet. You can whip out your dick anytime for a quick pic in your car, bathroom, pantry. Its easy so no excusez. 3. Profile Don't undo the good work your cock has done for you thus far. Do you want her to fall asleep reading about your extra-corriculor acctivitys? no1 cares you have a dog or that u married. RHP has a thing that lets you fill your profile up quick so you can fill her up quick. This means you can spend more time chasing dreams and less time writing stuff no1 reads. For maximom effect I add a little bit of personal flavar to the mix - include a couple sentences on what having sex with you feels like in extreme detail. Combine this with your cock pic and it will be like she is getting virtually fucked by your profile as she reads it. Flood gates, open. 4. Man of mystery Being mysterious allows you to add excitement to your profile. Do I buy Kinder Surprises for the chocolate? NO. I buy it for the suprise. RHP is just like this. Don't answer the Ask Me questions and try to be very vague about where you come from and who you are. Don't divert attenchon away from your cock pic and sex skills. 5. Age is just a number I once sor a woman that lied about her age. I thought she was 34 and turned out to be 43. Obviously - I stopped seeing her, but the point is - I did see her! Getting through the door is the main objective here. 6. Keep your options open We have all had those cold lonely winter nights with nothing to penetrate. Having your age preference set to 18 to 99 may come in handy one day and its alwayz good to have some backup plans. Also, having your preferences set to a broad age range helps tell chix you are open minded and liberal towards age gaps. 7. Flirts are free In case you haven't noticed the flirt function - RHP gives you the option to send premade messages, for free. Flirts are the easiest way to cover ground quickly. You just want to stick to the flirt, "Is it hot in here - or have you just set my pants on fire?" 9. Friends No1 wants to be that kid at skool that has ten fassbook friends. The same goes for RHP. Sending friend requests to girls genetically worthy of your virtual friendship is a good way of saying you are in demand. 10. Have Fun Above all else, your enjoyment comes first. Whenever asked a question or told to do something - remember this.

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Just excellent! - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Pure gold! I think I just fell a little bit in love with you Slickz :)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I was afraid, after spending so long writing this that it wouldn't get approved.

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  • tylannister

    tylannister

    11 years ago

    "Do I buy Kinder Surprises for the chocolate? NO. I buy it for the suprise." So good, man. So good.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    A tehehehe. I just snorted on my sherry. Great for my sinus's Well played, very clever. Birdy.xo

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Now all the dudes will put dick shots up and being a mere guest,I miss out on seeing them. P.s... You forgot to mention that if a female replies to a message with a "thanks but no thanks", you must take that as they are interested so send another 5 messages asking why. The 5th message will show the woman that you are deadly keen and will totall change her mind.😜

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Everyone likes a tongue in their cheek.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    So that's where I'm going wrong hahaha - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I like it a lot, but maybe add: 11. Don't take any notice of the advice you are given, especially in the forums. You clearly know yourself better than anyone. If the ladies don't like it, well that's their problem. Just tell them they are fat and ugly and move on with head held high.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I am sure that is meant to be funny, because it is soooooooooooooooooo inaccurate. Where to start? I don't know a single woman who enjoys seeing a cock pic. I DO know many, many women who will terminate a conversation with a guy if they receive an unsolicited cock pic. take a decent pic of your face. And take the sunnies off first. And SMILE. We like to see your eyes. Now watch the floodgates open. Miss BB.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Excellent work Slickz, I can feel my pussy becoming more responsive to advances from just reading your 'how to' - I'm off to check my flirts now...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Not a bad read....... your evolution in here has been an interesting one to observe, slikz - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    This made my morning. "Smashing a tonne of puss" pmsl - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You just made our day.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'willowtree_2' Now all the dudes will put dick shots up and being a mere guest,I miss out on seeing them. P.s... You forgot to mention that if a female replies to a message with a "thanks but no thanks", you must take that as they are interested so send another 5 messages asking why. The 5th message will show the woman that you are deadly keen and will totall change her mind.😜 Dats common sense. If you get to 5messages she is probz can't have sex for a while cuz of a rash or sumfin. Either dat or she lezb. I got hektik skillz but - so when dis happen, I wait a day or two and message her from another account. You knoew a lot mor about her the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time you do this. Itz lyke groundhog day but with puss.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Keepitsimple72' Excellent work Slickz, I can feel my pussy becoming more responsive to advances from just reading your 'how to' - I'm off to check my flirts now... <3 ur usrname,if your female and in NSWorQld - you would have received 2from meyesterdayz.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'MissBabyBlues' I am sure that is meant to be funny, because it is soooooooooooooooooo inaccurate. Miss BB, Slickz thread was a piss-take on mine I think, and a great one at that. Here's the original, you may be inclined to agree with it a bit more. http://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/The-Ten-Commandments-for-writing-a-male-profile-48927

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  • tylannister

    tylannister

    11 years ago

    I feel like you need to come up with a name for your alter ego that wrote this. Maybe 'Sckilz' instead of 'Slickz'?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Love it.

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  • Dryphuz

    Dryphuz

    11 years ago

    Considering how often i've read the same advice dished out again and again, it was such a pleasure to read this. Gonna have to go and work on my cock pics .

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Hahaha good read! Well played

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Very clever Slickz - astute and witty. In the spirit of things, new handle could also be SippinSlits, SickEm maybe SlickSchlong?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Love your humour Slickz!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Nah analrupt3r is my next username. I want all the bebs to know I expect oiled anooses

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Dryphuz' Considering how often i've read the same advice dished out again and again, it was such a pleasure to read this. Gonna have to go and work on my cock pics .

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Made me look! I'm usually too lazy to look beyond the main profile pic.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Sassy35' This made my morning. "Smashing a tonne of puss" pmsl - Posted from rhpmobile That was my favourite line. Gold!

    reply

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