M61
Love and pain
September 04 2015
Comments
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Give yourself time to heal and feel the emotions. Don't make any big decisions and take it day by day. Good luck. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
...with interest. Hugs OP
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Hopefully people will answer your question without the usual jokes as you have written a valid post.Sorry that you are in pain. It can be the same as a death, losing someone you love , when you still have feelings for them,it can be very similar. You will go through lots of different emotions. Grief, sadness, anger etc. theres no formular that makes it easier Chev. But the old saying, time heals all wounds, sums it up. Just work through it a day at a time.If you need to remove some things that remind you of her, then its what you need to do.
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Here's a beautiful extract for you Chev..From a book called "Maria’s diary:", written by Paulo Coelho. Once upon a time, there was a bird. He was adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colorful, marvelous feathers. One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two travelled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated that bird. But then she thought: He might want to visit far-off mountains! And she was afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she thought: “I’m going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again.” The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage. She looked at the bird every day. There he was, the object of her passion, and she showed him to her friends, who said: “Now you have everything you could possibly want.” However, a strange transformation began to take place: now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of his life, began to waste away and his feathers to lose their gloss; he grew ugly; and the woman no longer paid him any attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage. One day, the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day when she had seen him for the first time, flying contentedly amongst the clouds. If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not his physical body. Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at her door. “Why have you come?” she asked Death. “So that you can fly once more with him across the sky,” Death replied. “If you had allowed him to come and go, you would have loved and admired him ever more; alas, you now need me in order to find him again.” Foxy x
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Sometimes we just gotta let the ones we love go, give them freedom to allow for of growth. It's sucks, I know. It is the kindest thing anyone can do for another. Grief and loss is a terrible thing to go through. There are many stages you will go through and no doubt you will bounce from one Stage to another. That's ok when that happens. It's not until you get to the acceptance stage that your broken heart will be healed. {Hugs} Ms Foxy
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I think your quote sums it up.... She never loved you at all. Or maybe it's just that her feelings changed. If you treated her well, and were truly yourself, then there was nothing you could do to change this outcome. It IS painful. Unbearable but yes time will heal and eventually you will realise that it is best to never give another person the key to your happiness. I am very sorry you are going through this. Life can be very tough sometimes. Do cry. Crying is healthy for everyone. It is a wonderful cure. Do as much of it as you can. Even my male doctor endorsed it. Xo - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
...presented at a recent conference I attended...and perhaps helpful?? Grief...the sadness, anger etc I feel because I have lost, or may lose, something I used to have Mourning...an act of the will to do something about it...eg rituals of closure
-
AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Something all of us go through unfortunately. Sometimes we inflict the pain and sometimes the other way around. For me, i need clarity and therefore need sleep to function. I find no shame in using medication to help for short periods to get through the period of time it takes to heal. All the best Chev.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You did not have a dig at me.Sorry about spelling mistakes but hard to see when your all tears.I am talking about Lioness and because she was younger I would let her go out with people her own age but this led to ICE and arguments.Even the day before was wonderful and I have been on a high for a year.Sex was second to how I felt about her I was on top of the world and nowthe bottom of the heap.Thank you all for not trying to take the piss out of me and there has been some good advice.Quoting 'Whateverway' Something all of us go through unfortunately. Sometimes we inflict the pain and sometimes the other way around. For me, i need clarity and therefore need sleep to function. I find no shame in using medication to help for short periods to get through the period of time it takes to heal. All the best Chev.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
It takes time but it will get better. You wake up feeling sick....you dont want to eat, socialise, listen to people telling you to toughen up.....it took me a year to truly get over it. Accept the fact that she has gone and you will feel awful and look to the future as a new chapter in your life. One day you will look back on this as an experience and move forward to new ones xx
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I don't know the answer to your question... wish I did. Losing someone you love is devastating and so incredibly painful. I can only reiterate what others have said - time heals, or at least lessens the pain eventually. I'm sorry you're hurting... take care, don't be too hard on yourself or her, and surround yourself with friends and family who care about you. All the best xx
-
MissBishere
10 years ago
you just have to step though it a day at a time sometimes an hour at a time. Give yourself permission to feel all of the emotions and set time limits on them so for an hour a day you can wallow in total devastation and then you must do something else. I found that worked for me. I also have a tendency to over think and over analyze things and the what ifs will drive you crazy. Shutting that down I don't find so easy. if It's someone that you would see them or their online activity in your day you should remove and block them.... I really should take my own advice... *sigh*
-
RHP User
10 years ago
There is no answer, but one day you'll wake and feel a little less empty and over time feel stronger, give it time... Hp xo Because you're worth it...
-
RHP User
10 years ago
The people who feel so hurt that they don't want to open themselves again... IMHO, it's only the love that makes the hurt bearable. Life is constantly having a kick and niggle at us all, no matter how much we try to insulate ourselves. I would hate a life without the soaring highs that only love can bring. I would rather risk the valleys in the pursuit of the mountain tops. Hp xo Because you're worth it...
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I agree with everything that has been written in the above posts, you will feel very lost and emotional and that's ok to feel like that, cry it out, sleep, listen to music, watch movies etc. It's a process and there is no easy way around it. Initially you won't want to deal with the outside would as everything reminds you of what you have lost. Just remember that your friends and family are there and can be a good sounding board, talk to them. Voicing your pain can and will help. I talked till I was blue in the face :P Make sure you do eventually go out with friends or family, you may not want to but in time you will start to have fun again, even if its only flashes of happiness to begin with, but that's how moving on starts. This is a quote that rings true for me "Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a meltdown, just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you’re headed" Don't beat yourself up to much, some times things are just out of our control and make sure to look after yourself. Hugs xx
-
RHP User
10 years ago
So many here ribbed me when I put in forums that my girlwas far younger and I was only after sex.I hope they are taking back there words now but on the other hand laughing at my pain.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
The beautiful thing about life is that it is fluid and ever-changing. As long as you are alive you're capable of meeting new people and making amazing new adventures. It's hard not to look back, and it's impossible not to feel pain, but let the pain serve as a reminder that you are still alive, and free to find new happiness every day.
-
Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
A broken heart is a painful thing and how to heal or recover from it, is different for everyone, it takes time, there's a mourning period. I will say, look for the positives that you got from the relationship, take those things out of it, be grateful of the time you had together, don't be sad it's over, be happy that it happen. Maybe it's time to redecorated the house, keep yourself busy, change a few things, move things around....it will get easier with time....
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I understand that pain,perhaps she did love you ,only you will know ...you mention ICE..This is the key I think..honestly Chev she did you a big favour ..your life would become more than just arguments..a terrible drug...So remember how good it was before...find someone to talk to..someone who won't judge but will listen ..a counsellor perhaps ...it is ok to cry,feel the pain of loss but like MissB72 said.limit the time you do this and walk... Walking will help xxFreya
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Many of us can relate to the hurt you felt when someone you thought loved you turned on you. I'm sorry you got hurt like that that. You say the fact you let go her out with people led to problems and ICE, but I think the woman you're speaking of was always going to follow her path. You cannot control people, only how you respond to their actions. Ice is a terrible drug, and it changes who people are and can make them treat others in terrible ways. I believe you need to take care of you, like she needs to take care of her. You can't help her until she is willing to help herself. (I do hope that the name you mentioned is a nickname you gave her and not a username.) Crying is not a bad thing, and neither is letting go of things you can't bear to look at. I hope you don't lose your house over this though. I wish you the best.
-
AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Yes a few of us have taken the piss out of you on occasions. But we have experienced the pain you are feeling now and feel for you. There is a time and place for a little humour and this is not one if them. Id even take you out for a beer to make you feel better. Mmm, perhaps we could bring some of your girls with us........... Hope you get to feel better soon. Annie xx
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Real pain and heart-break are not things many here would ridicule. Your post came across as sincere and raw, and these are the responses you got because of that. In my opinion.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
This is one of the most level headed posts I have seen. Yes it hurts. The hurt can last for years. Something perhaps that you never really get over. It is not that you cannot love somebody again. It might be that deep inside you still love that person - even though in a physical way you may not wish to, even if that possibility was there. Yes it hurts and loss never really disappears. Little things that remind you. Gordie
-
RHP User
10 years ago
So what happened? If you were only after sex? Why the pain? I'm a little taken aback! - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
when I was a teenager..then I analysed WHY I hurt.. Never did find out why though.. So.. I stopped hurting..*shrugs*Maybe I am not human.. who knows.. but.. Chev.. go to "Youtube" and google "Cal Smith" singing "An hour and a six pack"I first heard this song when I was about 18.. it STILL to this day "Lifts" me when I hear it..You know Chev.. there are things in this world that genuinely SHOULD make us sad..children bodies washing up on beaches..Children fatalities in war.. MAYBE 300,000 people fatalities after a tidal wave... Shit like that maybe... But.. someone leaving me?? I doubt it..there is 6 inches of space between happy and sad fella.. and THAT 6 inches in between your ears..Stir that gunky 6 inches up and change your thoughts..
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'cavey50' when I was a teenager..then I analysed WHY I hurt.. Never did find out why though.. So.. I stopped hurting..*shrugs*Maybe I am not human.. who knows.. but.. Chev.. go to "Youtube" and google "Cal Smith" singing "An hour and a six pack"I first heard this song when I was about 18.. it STILL to this day "Lifts" me when I hear it..You know Chev.. there are things in this world that genuinely SHOULD make us sad..children bodies washing up on beaches..Children fatalities in war.. MAYBE 300,000 people fatalities after a tidal wave... Shit like that maybe... But.. someone leaving me?? I doubt it..there is 6 inches of space between happy and sad fella.. and THAT 6 inches in between your ears..Stir that gunky 6 inches up and change your thoughts.. I listened to that Cal Smith song as I had not heard of it or him before.Sound wise it reminded me a little of Johnny Cash type songs on old records my dad used to play.Not my fave genre but nevertheless I liked the song coz I thought the words were good and I think it would make anyone smile and think "maybe things are not as bad as they seem and maybe I should ask myself WHY I hurt" and yes, shit like childrens' bodies washing up on beaches, child fatalities in war and 300,000 fatalities after a tidal wave (and much more) is the type of thing everyone should be sad about coz that it REAL shitty shit.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek' You did not have a dig at me.Sorry about spelling mistakes but hard to see when your all tears.I am talking about Lioness and because she was younger I would let her go out with people her own age but this led to ICE and arguments.Even the day before was wonderful and I have been on a high for a year.Sex was second to how I felt about her I was on top of the world and nowthe bottom of the heap.Thank you all for not trying to take the piss out of me and there has been some good advice.Quoting 'Whateverway' Something all of us go through unfortunately. Sometimes we inflict the pain and sometimes the other way around. For me, i need clarity and therefore need sleep to function. I find no shame in using medication to help for short periods to get through the period of time it takes to heal. All the best Chev. Chev, I too am sorry to hear you are hurting and I sincerely hope that awful feeling will pass soon.Always look forward, never look back. Something I'm usually good at, but not always, need to take my own advice atm.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I don't have much to add here.. Great to see such support.. The only thing of value I have chev, is Just Breathe... Several times a day, no matter how you are feeling, just stop and take a deep breath or two. ..Air is life. It's all we have in the end... So mate... Just breathe... I have been sending those two words in sms to a dear friend every single day for the last 6 weeks, so that in her grief and pain, she will smile and take that cleansing breath.. Xxoo
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you :)
-
RHP User
10 years ago
We all deal with grief and loss differently. You'll know what works for you. Don't hold grudges or lay blame, just put it down to growing apart/moving on etc. As someone else has already said, maybe they did you a favor. Hope you get back on your feet again quickly
-
RHP User
10 years ago
A new hurt added as she has joined some creepy people and now tells them I gave her the drugs.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Sounds like she just uses people to meet her needs. She used you for all she could and has moved on to the next. Dont let the statements you have heard worry you. Chinese whispers and all that. Better to ignor it, if its not true, there is no reason to defend yourself. Look after number one and heal yourself.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
G'day Chev, Everybody here knows exactly what you are going through. Everybody has lost somebody they have loved absolutely, there are no words that adequately describe just how colourless and joyless your life is for so long. In keeping with other replies here though, it really is just time and the marking of until you start to accept and move on. We've all been there - the lack of sleep, waking in the morning feeling that there is just no point to anything that happens during the day, sitting and staring at nothing, and of course the tears. In my experience there finally comes a day though when you awake in the morning, look out the window and see just a bit of colour and life back in the world. From this point on you are in what I call ''recovery'' mode, and each day will be easier than the last. There's no timeframes for these things, but I have found that I eventually reach a point where I can see clearly how bad and wrong the relationship was in the first case. I think the word ''journey'' is overused these days but it is indeed a journey, and I wish you well on yours.
-
MsJonesy
10 years ago
And I echo the thoughts of others who have offered you some great ideas. Just on a completely different note....and one which is much more practical and objective, so some people may find it objectionable. But you would not believe how many people get f#&^ed around in the first month of a split and regret they didn't make some practical changes to things straight away. - Move back into your house- Ask her to leave your house- Don't give away her furniture. Tell her she has a set period to collect it whilst you are present, at a pre-arranged date and time. If she doesn't, put it in storage. Be very careful about giving away or throwing away any of her possessions- If she continues to tell people you gave her drugs and you can prove it is untrue, then have a solicitor draw up a letter telling her to desist or face further legal action- If she had access to any of your pins or passwords....for anything!...... change them now- If she has keys to your property, change the locks. Drugs, creepy people and an recent ex are not a good mix There's probably a billion other things that could be done.... this is a start. Sometimes these actions help you move on as well.... cos you have to do that at some point Chev, as much as the pain is horrible and you can't think of much beyond losing her.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I am so sorry to read all of this, I hope you follow Kissk's advice in particular, it is along the lines of what I first thought when I saw your OP and spot on with the details I wasn't sure about. Look after yourself Chev, hugs, Deb
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek' So many here ribbed me when I put in forums that my girlwas far younger and I was only after sex.I hope they are taking back there words now but on the other hand laughing at my pain. Chev, You are old enough to know that dating someone significantly younger than yourself is more likely to fail. It is natural and therapeutic for you to be upset, but don't paint a picture that isn't real. From your previous post - I take it, you and this 'girl' have only been seeing each other for a few months. Now I'm going to make a huge assumption here and assume it has taken you a while to find someone that fits your 'taste' (i.e. very young and submissive). This sadness you are feeling I think is exacerbated by this - in which I urge you to cool down and really analyse this situation objectively from her perspective.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
14 months is how long it lasted.I have no idea why you say age gap wont work as thisdid not fall apart because of age but this bloody iceepidemic and she has run to some very manipulative people. Quoting 'Redshift' Quoting 'chevtrek' So many here ribbed me when I put in forums that my girlwas far younger and I was only after sex.I hope they are taking back there words now but on the other hand laughing at my pain. Chev, You are old enough to know that dating someone significantly younger than yourself is more likely to fail. It is natural and therapeutic for you to be upset, but don't paint a picture that isn't real. From your previous post - I take it, you and this 'girl' have only been seeing each other for a few months. Now I'm going to make a huge assumption here and assume it has taken you a while to find someone that fits your 'taste' (i.e. very young and submissive). This sadness you are feeling I think is exacerbated by this - in which I urge you to cool down and really analyse this situation objectively from her perspective.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I'm sure it's well known you're on RHP, this thread may well be visited people associated with her currently. They won't necessarily make themselves known either. .Peachy
-
RHP User
10 years ago
In Chev's first reply on here, he mentions 12 months together
-
RHP User
10 years ago
1 months of chats before relationship and hit thewrong key as I was busy when I replied.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I knew what he said before I posted. Chev, sorry - I hope things turn around. i still think you do need to be a bit more honest with yourself.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I'm sure most of us have been in that place , I treat partners like chapters in a book Some relationships last a long time , some are fleeting , make the most of what you have when you have it . Cherish those you love and have loved you . Enjoy the journey , happy and sad times , and look for the future not look back on the past with sadness but with joy someone came into your world . Live the life you love, love the life you live - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
But unlike most normal breakups she was stolen from mevia bloody drugs.I am now wondering why I am torturing myself listening tounchained melody - youre in my heart and so on.As level headed as I am I cant even explain why I am doing this.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Most of us do the same Chev. I can only say look to the future and not the past. One day the sun will shine again. Best wishes.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek' why I am torturing myself listening tounchained melody - youre in my heart and so on.As level headed as I am I cant even explain why I am doing this. Because you are human. When it comes to grief all level-headedness can go right out the window and there's nothing weird about that. There are five stages of grief, Denial (This isn't happening, no way)Anger (Screw her, the ice and her friends)Bargaining (If she chooses me over the drugs, I promise I'll treat her better)Depression (I'm just so hurt I don't know what to do)Acceptance (She's gone and I'm going to be ok) Only you know where you are within these stages, and there is no saying how long it takes to move through all of them. The fact you decided to share how you are feeling and acknowledge you are hurting is a very healthy response to a devastating situation. Don't think you need to do this alone, asking for help is a brave thing to do and I think you took a big first step by posting here. You'll get through this, I have no doubt.
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
To my post on page one. It's an extract from a book called "Eleven Minutes", written by Paulo Coelho, not "Maria's diary" as I quoted was the name of the book. Foxy
-
RHP User
10 years ago
The best thing I ever did for myself when I was in a situation like yours, Chev, where the loss of love was driving me around the twist, was to talk it over with a professional counsellor. In my case, a clinical psychologist, but there are many people with the necessary skills. There's some research to suggest the "therapeutic relationship" between the client and therapist is the thing that does the most good, and it's often more important than what specific discipline the therapist belongs to, or which school of counselling he or she follows. So I'd recommend finding someone you're comfortable with being even more completely honest and vulnerable with in person than you've already been online. That's the best thing I did. The worst thing? Waiting well over a year until it had poisoned my next relationship. You can probably guess how that went, and how much worse I felt when I was being assailed by the loss of two loves simultaneously, the most recent being fairly clearly my own fault for not getting my shit together. My vote is for at least a handful of sessions with a professional listener, and soon. When our car's in dire straits, we go to a mechanic. With a toothache we go to a dentist. It's only logical to tell a story like yours to a professional listener, just like we do for any other problem in our society, by taking it to the relevant person with the skills to help. All the best, Chev, and I really applaud your bravery in posting all of this. If you can do that, you can do what I suggested too, if you decide. It's mainly doing the exact same thing, only in a different situation.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'slippery_halo' My vote is for at least a handful of sessions with a professional listener, and soon. When our car's in dire straits, we go to a mechanic. With a toothache we go to a dentist. It's only logical to tell a story like yours to a professional listener, just like we do for any other problem in our society, by taking it to the relevant person with the skills to help. Love, love this.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Nice to see you back on here by the way
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Things have improved I just wish I could beat upthe bastard who first gave her the drug.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
The unendurable is the beginning of the curve of joy ...Djuna Barnes xxFreya
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Some great advice from everyone. Your heart is broken. Will definitely take time to heal so give yourself time. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Even with other lovers / friends giving me supportI feel abandoned and lost it so sucks.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Since drugs were obviously such a large part of why you were so deeply hurt, Chev, you actually may have a few more options for support that wouldn't otherwise have been available. In my state, the government funds professionals to work with people in the community to help reduce drug-related harm, so the service user has no cost. While their focus is people who want help surrounding their own use of AOD (Alcohol and/or Other Drugs), they also work with people who have been affected by someone close to them using. Some harm has already come to you, Chev, and their job is to work with you to manage what's happened and to try to prevent any future negative consequences. They wouldn't be able to offer long term support, but they may be funded for a few sessions to try to help get to the bottom of why the drug issue specifically was so hurtful, and where to go from there: referral and some take-home skills. A male clinician might be able to particularly empathise with what you're going through, Chev, but that's certainly not to say that a female professional can't be equally as beneficial. A Google search for the state's AOD service would point you towards a good phone number to start with. It's only of possible benefit if you actually decide to make the call and ask, though!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek' Even with other lovers / friends giving me supportI feel abandoned and lost it so sucks. Yes, that is definitely part of the grief process. You've lost someone very dear to you, plus you were betrayed. Double whammy. Friends and family can try to be supportive, but it can be hard to find someone who actually understands what you are going through and it sounds you are missing that. I agree with Slippery, talk to a counsellor who knows his or her shit. Having someone you feel really gets it can make all the difference. Do look up family counselling services in your area, and to get more info on ice addiction and where to turn for support, the Alcohol and Drug Information Service WA is a great help (I know its NSW sibling quite well). Not sure I can post their number here, I'll pm you.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
It's not time that heals. It's what you do with that time that heals. From past experiences I have learned and become a firm believer that people come into your life for a reason and they leave for a reason. Sometimes we never get answers to what they are sometimes we do. Whilst this doesn't feel like much comfort now. It will be come clear eventually. Nothing in this life is forever. Nothing in life is a guarantee. All one can do is try to make the best of a bad situation to survive. Grieving a loss (any loss) is the most worst unimaginable pain one goes through, you will have good days and mediocre days and great days. I find what helps me is writing and journaling. As you progress on your journey to recovery you read back and draw strength from where you were to how far you have come... good luck and I hope this helps - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You were given a lot of (I think) good advice and I'm wondering which things, if any, have helped you? Hope things are improving.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I'm going through the same thing, so personal, I wouldn't have the strength or courage to talk about it like you have here, but I also feel lost and empty, huge void in my life, and although marginally brighter now than I was a week ago, the pain is still overwhelming. I couldn't pull myself out of it. I'm sad all the time, there's a sadness that will always be with me. One day at a time. At least I can get through 'In the arms of the angels' now without holding my hands over my face and crying out loud, that bloody song would make me sob. The first time I hooked up, I cried during the act, I was sobbing, the guy didn't know, because I wanted it to be him (the other him), it was too emotional, I wasn't ready for it. I took pictures of myself at my worst, red swollen eyes, I looked the worst I've ever looked, after crying for days on end, hell it was weeks, and I can't look at those pictures now without breaking up again. It brings back the pain. My heart breaks for you. It's such a solitary and isolating thing to go through, I haven't and won't talk to anyone about it, ever, except in a general sense like this, because it's too personal, I'll just carry on one day at a time. The advice about talking to a professional is good advice, I needed to myself, but couldn't afford it. If you can, do it. We'll find happiness again, when the right person comes along, and that flame will slowly go out. Take care of yourself and know you're surrounded by friends here for support
-
RHP User
10 years ago
My days are like I am a Zombie trying to re-establish myold jovial self.One day I am top of the world yet now despair big time but hope time will heal my wounds.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
will be someone for both of us who would never want to see us in this kind of pain. The person I end up with will be one very lucky individual, I don't care if that sounds vain, if he didn't want what I had to offer, screw him, there'll be someone else who'll lap it up, and let me lap them up
-
RHP User
10 years ago
If you haven't already done so, take a look at Nortee's 'Finshing' topic. Can't really add to what's been said by others except to say that when we're truly happy in our own right (i.e. not reliant or dependent on somebody else for our own happiness), we realise that people (significant other, friends or family etc.) are an added bonus - not a necessity. If you throw yourself into something that you're incredibly passionate about, something that enriches, encourages and inspires you, you'll find that you are no longer looking for someone to fill that space.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
But my heart thrives when I can do things as a couple be itbuild /create or holiday and besides holding my own hand fails big time. Missing those cuddles. Quoting 'xKiwiBredx' If you haven't already done so, take a look at Nortee's 'Finshing' topic. Can't really add to what's been said by others except to say that when we're truly happy in our own right (i.e. not reliant or dependent on somebody else for our own happiness), we realise that people (significant other, friends or family etc.) are an added bonus - not a necessity. If you throw yourself into something that you're incredibly passionate about, something that enriches, encourages and inspires you, you'll find that you are no longer looking for someone to fill that space.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I'm very happy in my own skin and don't ever want to own or have another person own me, let me be very clear about that. I don't believe in manogomy and would want a partner to turn me on and vice versa and would embrace other people in that mix, in fact i would require it, for both partners, with or without my presence. I'm a very, very horny woman, stuff would be going down, and not just indoors. I need that excitement, the thing is, when you find someone who ticks all those boxes, so you can have an incredible sex life, but have the love to go with it, well i thought i might have found that. No jealousy ever comes into play with me, play with others turns me on, and i don't need to be validated by a man, but like Chev, i would like to find someone to share daily things with, to really love and be loved back. I'm not afraid of my feelings, and to be especially clear, this is the first guy i've fallen for on here, the mistake was too much contact, when the feelings started to release, i just ran with it and let them go. Not saying anymore, it wasn't one sided, but also wasn't meant to be. I'm not afraid to say on a public forum that i hope to find love again, and a hope Chev finds that special person again. This lifestyle, for want of a better word, will continue though, so my future connection would only be with a like minded person and someone who accepts me and loves me for who i am - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I long for sexual touch in the morning, god i long for that, to wake up with someone, sex for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and in between, fuck yeah. That's what i want. Occasional sex isn't enough for me, and it's so much better with love and/or a real connection - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
It seems that a long more for those special moments morethan those horny moments.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Be it here or private message no one says stick to your gunsand try to win her back get her off those drugs.Are we no longer compassionate /loving people or have we become so complacent to just throw in the towel.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
" winning " someone back wont happen in a lot of breakups, no matter how much one person wants it. And as for helping someone get off drugs, they have to want to get off them. You can suggest rehab or outpatients drug services to her, but its her choice. Many people try to "love" it out of them. But you will become a crutch for them. You are helping them to stay in their addiction. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let them hit rock bottom. Its called tough love. But when everyone and everything is gone, they may realise that they hate their addiction and thats when they want to do something about it. Thats when compassion is needed the most.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You would undoubtedly become a crutch, and the drugs I doubt would have been the only reason she wandered, if not now, further down the track. Perhaps a time for family to step in and try to help her but you trying to help or win her back would be counteractive, and do you really want to open yourself up for more hurt, more pain? If you love them, let them go, if they love you, they'll come back. I know more than anyone you can't force that, and I'm suffering just as much, but one day at a time Chev, you'll get there
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Yes you are lucky !lucky you still have a house and your lucky her father or brother werent golden gloves champions at high school.your profile friends seem a lovely mix of recent mickey mouse club pass outs and garry glitters "mentoring study group" ,your only pissed off because she had a lil dash and tidy looking,made you feel young again,unfortunately its a mirage ,much like your fro ,time stops for no one and banging high school barbie aint going to have you singing Chers hit walking down the street ,because shes sure as hell not bake at yours baking,fluffing your pillows or organizing your weekly pill prescription into dailys........(attention advertisment "p n p hot young horny and ready to go") nature has its natural course ,your fucking with tht and seriously ,not deliberately trying to be s obtuse but.....sad thing about reading all of what you wrote is not ,your deep sense of snuggle time depprival , but us reading your plight and thinking that little bit more about ,being finite ,ageing with respect and maintaining our sense of reality ,anyway give Brynne a call shes back in the" daddy rotation system "and atleast she has done her prom..........plus i notced your profile is open to a few variants of people,maybe mmf with doc ed can be sorted ? Drool filled motorboats,uncontrollable flatullance and fucking no one of the three forking for the room at crown ,chin up tiger its part of life ,compartmentalise that shit,times not stopping
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You are so negative and I hope as you age your mind exspands. Quoting '2new2share' Yes you are lucky !lucky you still have a house and your lucky her father or brother werent golden gloves champions at high school.your profile friends seem a lovely mix of recent mickey mouse club pass outs and garry glitters "mentoring study group" ,your only pissed off because she had a lil dash and tidy looking,made you feel young again,unfortunately its a mirage ,much like your fro ,time stops for no one and banging high school barbie aint going to have you singing Chers hit walking down the street ,because shes sure as hell not bake at yours baking,fluffing your pillows or organizing your weekly pill prescription into dailys........(attention advertisment "p n p hot young horny and ready to go") nature has its natural course ,your fucking with tht and seriously ,not deliberately trying to be s obtuse but.....sad thing about reading all of what you wrote is not ,your deep sense of snuggle time depprival , but us reading your plight and thinking that little bit more about ,being finite ,ageing with respect and maintaining our sense of reality ,anyway give Brynne a call shes back in the" daddy rotation system "and atleast she has done her prom..........plus i notced your profile is open to a few variants of people,maybe mmf with doc ed can be sorted ? Drool filled motorboats,uncontrollable flatullance and fucking no one of the three forking for the room at crown ,chin up tiger its part of life ,compartmentalise that shit,times not stopping
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek' Be it here or private message no one says stick to your gunsand try to win her back get her off those drugs.Are we no longer compassionate /loving people or have we become so complacent to just throw in the towel. I can tell you from vast experience.. this wont work, that's why no one is saying it.. you need to find your way to live again. without her.. she is on her path now, no matter how destructive it is, and its hers, not yours...
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88158
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10229
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2521 Comments: 11674
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9759
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1008 Comments: 5264
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share